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Old 01-18-2011, 01:30 AM   #26
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2 drunk people= not the best sex one would hope for. That happened oh once, or twice










or three or 4 times
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Old 01-18-2011, 01:56 AM   #27
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You know, I'd find it pretty hard to narrow it down. Most sex I have had has been bad sex. I could so go without it now forever lol
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Old 01-18-2011, 09:43 AM   #28
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My second time. I imagine the guy would have been a letdown anyway had we actually had a bed, but a 6'4" chunky guy and 5'10" fatty aren't going to have the best time in the back of a two-door car. We had to surrender indefinitely after three seconds of penetration: my neck was killing me pressed up against the door, and I've no idea where he must have had to wedge his feet. Every date after that (why did I keep bothering?) consisted of me giving him blowjobs in the back of his car in various 'secluded' spots - ie, not very secluded, as it turned out.

It was all for nothing in the end anyway. He thought it a good idea to grab my sister's bum when she asked how we were doing together.
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:58 AM   #29
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I feel you on the back seat issue, been there, paid the price.
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:50 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Angel View Post
Oh, Honey, is it really YOU???

I told you our paths would one day cross again!

I've missed you soooo much!!!


Umm, Hell naw...
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Old 01-18-2011, 02:19 PM   #31
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A few years back I was in bed with a girl I'd known since elementary school and hadn't seen in a decade until randomly running into her at the library at the university I was attending. We had a great date and wound up in bed together. Little did I know she was bat-shit crazy! Mid-coitous she starts crying. I mean outright bawling buckets. She started going off about how her ex (from just a few DAYS before) went nuts after they broke up, piling her clothes and computer on her bed and then setting it on fire. Needless to say the moment was ruined. The next day she tried to convince me to let her stay at my place a few days because she was scared he would break the restraining order and come for her. Ummmm...that's a big negative, ghost rider. I sure as hell didn't want the drama and pretty sure my roomate wouldn't have been stoked on me basically invited the attention of a love sick arsonist. Moral of the story: steer clear of crazy women and make sure the crazy skeletons in their closet aren't still chasing them.
Ouch. This reminds me of my own "sex too soon after a painful breakup" gaffe. There wasn't anything wrong with the guy (in bed, that is); I just realized as we were getting down to bidness that I wasn't emotionally prepared for what was happening and stopped him cold with my own tears. I can only imagine how off-putting that has to be.

In my case, though, I'd say that despite my emotional outburst, *he* was the nutjob. Even after that spectacularly awful evening, he pursued me to the point where I finally had to call the police. Fortunately, he finally got the message with that discussion; otherwise, I'd have considered a restraining order.

I can't even pretend that it was the 'fabulous' sex - I lay there like a cold, dead, numb thing. Nor was it my stellar personality - crying during sex, refusing to discuss it, gathering my clothes and fleeing.

It was my worst experience ever. I'd be curious if he's still crazy enough to not consider it his worst.
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Old 01-18-2011, 05:24 PM   #32
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Um, that would be when my GF at that time got the skin just below the head on Mr. Willie caught in the teeth of the zipper of my pants - I had let her take my jeans off. Big raging screaming OUCH! Had to cut the zipper out of the pants and give it the one two three, YANK to get it off. Now you'd think it was a mood killer, but this girl had a truely banging round SSBBW booty....
MAN!! She must have REALLY been HOT!!!
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Old 01-18-2011, 05:31 PM   #33
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Worst sex I've ever hard, ah.. suppose what I'm getting now. Nothing! But really, with out getting into details.. accidently got my red-wings. And that's all I have to say about that..
You sound just like Michael J. Fox, when he did a skit on SNL entitled, "Not Gettin' Any" (But, I've been there myself.)
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Old 01-18-2011, 06:13 PM   #34
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Unhappy Losing my virginity....

I was 21, he was 45 and a yutz/ degenerate perv.

The interior of his house resembled a lumber yard. I ripped my hosiery at every turn. His bathroom had no door. He was a good kisser, but in bed? Uggghhh. I felt nothing meanwhile he's having a field day. He came a few times. My only groans were only from boredom.

After he was done, he climbed off of me, all tickled and shit, damned near patting himself on the back like he cured cancer. No foreplay, didn't go down on me. I did everything for this tool. I was young and dumb.

The degenerate perv side of him comes when we got dressed and went in the living room. He wanted to watch some old movies. He drags out an old reel-to-reel projector and pulls down a screen. Next thing I see is bestiality footage!! I hit the ceiling and called him a dirtbag when he confessed he was into that shit and he wanted to "turn me on to it". WTF!! That fool must've been on crack or inhaled too much paint thinner. I ordered him to drive me back to Union Station rail terminal in D.C.. I grabbed the next commuter train back into Maryland; never speaking to him again. Damn! I shaved my legs for this?!?

Where did I meet him? I had an ad in the personals section of a bbw magazine in 1990-92. He replied and seemed "normal". Live and, hopefully, learn. Just sorry I lost 'it' to him.

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Old 01-18-2011, 06:25 PM   #35
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Default My pleasure perished for a lack of knowledge.

Ignorance is your worst bed partner.

I was once with a BBW who kindly, let me know that there was room for improvement. Let's just say that upon things going on, things kept slipping out, as well as, other things kept sliding off - while I was still in - YUP.

She also informed me of another challenging thing called 'insecurity'. Let's just say I had homework to do.

So upon her eminent departure, I began doing research about these besetting challenges. Websites like Askmen.com, and google searches became most helpful in some of these areas.

Magazine articles, and educational videos (sex ed, that is), have proved most beneficial - NO JOKE. (Let's just say, I based on the responses of later partners, things have improved - significantly.)

PM me if you want the specifics.


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Old 01-18-2011, 07:16 PM   #36
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I was 21, he was 45 and a yutz/ degenerate perv.
He drags out an old reel-to-reel projector and pulls down a screen. Next thing I see is bestiality footage!!
It's ok to love animals, just don't love animals.

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Old 01-19-2011, 03:19 PM   #37
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worst sex?

it was more a massive ego blow more than anything else, and it's effects came two-fold.

firstly, the actual event itself. first night at uni, at freshers, really great girl, both of us were drunk, and decided we were going to go for it. found somewhere secluded, and started doing it. I was in a euphoria of alcohol and adrenline, I thought I was doing great. and she fell asleep half way through. she'd probably had too much, but it was a massive ego-blow.

4 years later, we're playing something like this around a friends place, and I mention this to everyone. everyone laughs, until my girlfriend pipes up.
"I can relate,"
"Beth!"
"oh, Eddie, you know I love you, but... well, lets just say when you under-perform... yeah it would put anyone to sleep."
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Old 01-19-2011, 06:58 PM   #38
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Actually, there was no sex involved.

For weeks I was looking forward to a big party out of town and we'd booked a suite at a swanky hotel. I had spent the whole day pampering myself and dressed in new black lace lingerie, silk thigh highs, diamonds and pearls and was covered in honey flavored gold dust and sat in the middle of a king-size bed trying to get his attention while he played video poker on the TV. He wasn't interested no matter what I said or did. So I ordered a bottle of pink champagne and got drunk.

Still hurts.
I can relate to this. An almost identical thing happened to me except instead of being obviously distracted by something else, he just feigned sleep when it came time to "seal the deal." So after the incident where I felt completely rejected and humiliated, we had a heart-to-heart of sorts. He was an FA and had odd issues being with someone who he knew he wouldn't be having empty sex with- he weaved a story of commitment issues and therapy and whatnot. Then he complimented me and told me I was SO attractive and that had also made him nervous when it came down to it. So we tried again...planned a weekend. And despite the sex talk leading up to the weekend and during the first evening we were there, a little groping in an elevator, AND a trip to a strip club, that night he rejected me again the exact same way. I know I should have learned the first time. Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me. And did I ever feel shame.

I can't believe I just told that story. I mean, I didn't come out looking good or anything.
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Old 01-19-2011, 10:53 PM   #39
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Last night.....we try and we try and I'm always promised a better time next time.
I don't know what to do, but my hand just isn't getting any better. I've even mentioned about getting my left hand to help out, spice things up, alas, no improvement....
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Old 01-20-2011, 02:56 PM   #40
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Last night.....we try and we try and I'm always promised a better time next time.
I don't know what to do, but my hand just isn't getting any better. I've even mentioned about getting my left hand to help out, spice things up, alas, no improvement....
try kissing them first
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Old 01-20-2011, 03:20 PM   #41
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try kissing them first

Haha. High five!
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:19 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by Teecher View Post
Ignorance is your worst bed partner.

I was once with a BBW who kindly, let me know that there was room for improvement. Let's just say that upon things going on, things kept slipping out, as well as, other things kept sliding off - while I was still in - YUP.

She also informed me of another challenging thing called 'insecurity'. Let's just say I had homework to do.

So upon her eminent departure, I began doing research about these besetting challenges. Websites like Askmen.com, and google searches became most helpful in some of these areas.

Magazine articles, and educational videos (sex ed, that is), have proved most beneficial - NO JOKE. (Let's just say, I based on the responses of later partners, things have improved - significantly.)

PM me if you want the specifics.


Teecher

Pears Rule.
I concur, I was poor in the early days physically and emotionally.
I have 3 experiences that come to mind where the above played its part. I'll divulge the earliest which I also find mildly amusing.

I was at my gf home, my first ever gf, her parents let me stay sometimes on the couch. One evening they'd gone to bed and the usual heavy petting progressed, we'd never been interrupted before! We moved a number of cushions and ourselves onto the floor; with some articles of clothing peeled away we were exploring each others bodies. My gf was a stunner, tall, curvy (nearly a bbw) pear,which belied her 14 years, she was an object of desire amongst the male population of my school and my kudos soared. Locked in our world of ecstatic exploration we failed to hear the tell tale creaking stairs that signalled trouble and discovery. Her mother was probably the inspiration for Agatha Trunchbull; .....I was seen leaping the garden fence onto my motorcycle with my shirt, jacket and pants under my arm, followed by an extremely irate mom telling the whole world what she thought of me, politely described as creaking and colourful.
Her brother the same age as me 16 witnessed this from his bedroom window and ensured the event was given maximum publicity throughout the school and beyond. Hero to zero over night with a number of bruises (I didn't move fast enough) and my first girlfriend was history.

This story brings a smile to my face, some may say a little off topic - hay ho!

I like this place
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:18 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by ladle View Post
Last night.....we try and we try and I'm always promised a better time next time.
I don't know what to do, but my hand just isn't getting any better. I've even mentioned about getting my left hand to help out, spice things up, alas, no improvement....
I would recommend soaking the hand in a liberal amount of vodka beforehand. Try tequila shots if you want the hands to play around with each other first while you watch.
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:33 PM   #44
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Pretty much all of them.

I'm that guy who just keeps going, and going, and going, and going, but at least I have the decency to dismount if my partner is finished and doesn't want a small fire forming in her vagina.
That is very courteous, nothing worse than a guy who keeps going and your kitty is feeling sore! I'm like, "please cum, NOW"!!! lol
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:18 AM   #45
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Probably in general with the first and only girl I'd done it with. Naturally, as a newbie I went into it with all the nervousness and such one would expect, but I was just kinda thinking to myself that as long as I put in some foreplay, things should be good. We get going, but all she really does is lay there. No groping, no biting, no nails in the back, just kind of dead fishing on me. Of course, I'm paranoid I'm not doing something right, but she says everything's okay. Sadly, the 4 or 5 times we'd done it since that were pretty much the same. She'd just lay there.

Now, I know I'm not really into porn, but I've dabbled in some erotic fiction from time to time. I'm sure everyone who's ever touched the internet has. Based on what I've read and written, I've come to have a reasonable idea of things that turn me on and things that don't. I know my imagination isn't infallible in this respect, but to contrast my experience, I've always felt I'd be better off with a dom (more in the aggressive sense than kink or S&M) or at least switch partner. Not getting either of those was a bummer.
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Old 01-23-2011, 09:45 AM   #46
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Probably in general with the first and only girl I'd done it with. Naturally, as a newbie I went into it with all the nervousness and such one would expect, but I was just kinda thinking to myself that as long as I put in some foreplay, things should be good. We get going, but all she really does is lay there. No groping, no biting, no nails in the back, just kind of dead fishing on me. Of course, I'm paranoid I'm not doing something right, but she says everything's okay. Sadly, the 4 or 5 times we'd done it since that were pretty much the same. She'd just lay there.

Now, I know I'm not really into porn, but I've dabbled in some erotic fiction from time to time. I'm sure everyone who's ever touched the internet has. Based on what I've read and written, I've come to have a reasonable idea of things that turn me on and things that don't. I know my imagination isn't infallible in this respect, but to contrast my experience, I've always felt I'd be better off with a dom (more in the aggressive sense than kink or S&M) or at least switch partner. Not getting either of those was a bummer.
Don't put her lack of response down to you, KotR. Sex takes two and it's definitely not up to the giver to make you feel something - arousal is pyschological, and the physicality of sex can only matter if you put your head in the game. This chick didn't sound like she was putting any effort into her own pleasure, and I think it's inconsiderate of her not to do something for you: such as make noises/faces/gestures to encourage you. Everyone needs that.

But, on the other side of the coin, some people just don't make signals during sex. My last partner was absolutely silent except for the occassional pant, and as for expressions, he could have been a statue. He was incredibly giving in other respects, however.

Also, are you sure you want someone who is sexually dominant, or is it more a case of wanting someone to take the lead when you're not sure how? You know your preferences better than anyone, but when I was inexperienced I used to think I wanted someone more aggressive in bed, not realising I just wanted someone whose confidence could make up for lack of my own, and show me a few things.
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:48 PM   #47
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That is very courteous, nothing worse than a guy who keeps going and your kitty is feeling sore! I'm like, "please cum, NOW"!!! lol
more like "GET OFF!!!!" lol

good to cyu btw
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:08 PM   #48
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Also, are you sure you want someone who is sexually dominant, or is it more a case of wanting someone to take the lead when you're not sure how? You know your preferences better than anyone, but when I was inexperienced I used to think I wanted someone more aggressive in bed, not realising I just wanted someone whose confidence could make up for lack of my own, and show me a few things.
For the sake of erring on the side of caution, I'd say switch with the know-how to take the lead or at least point me in the right direction. The latter, though, I guess I can't really say until I experience it, if ever. Psychologically, I grew up in a house where it was basically 3 girls to one 1 guy. So, while I don't think it's so much a matter of me liking being bossed around, it's more a matter of at least being somewhat comfortable in women knowing what they want.
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Old 01-23-2011, 08:53 PM   #49
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Don't put her lack of response down to you, KotR. Sex takes two and it's definitely not up to the giver to make you feel something - arousal is pyschological, and the physicality of sex can only matter if you put your head in the game. This chick didn't sound like she was putting any effort into her own pleasure, and I think it's inconsiderate of her not to do something for you: such as make noises/faces/gestures to encourage you. Everyone needs that.

But, on the other side of the coin, some people just don't make signals during sex. My last partner was absolutely silent except for the occassional pant, and as for expressions, he could have been a statue. He was incredibly giving in other respects, however.

Also, are you sure you want someone who is sexually dominant, or is it more a case of wanting someone to take the lead when you're not sure how? You know your preferences better than anyone, but when I was inexperienced I used to think I wanted someone more aggressive in bed, not realising I just wanted someone whose confidence could make up for lack of my own, and show me a few things.
Can you say nothing wrong? So fucking insightful.

( I never use the wooboo smiley either, not even when boobs are shoved in my face, Reserved for special occasions only. Congrats on receiving one.)
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:38 AM   #50
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Can you say nothing wrong? So fucking insightful.

( I never use the wooboo smiley either, not even when boobs are shoved in my face, Reserved for special occasions only. Congrats on receiving one.)
I'd like to thank my mum and God for helping me achieve this award...
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