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Old 01-28-2011, 03:26 PM   #1
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Default Feeders, please help me.

Maybe this isn't perfect place to ask for help like this, but I don't know where to ask.

History is that my girlfriend is still losing weight. She promised me to not losing weight, but she still do it. This is really thin, pear shaped girl. Now she has got 50 kg (110 lbs) and she is going to lose more. She is near anorexia :/ I don't want to make her huge like BBW, because I know I will hurt her by that (at last in Poland is thinking that the smallest and thinnest girls are the most sexiest :/), only somewhere in 55 - 60 kg (121 - 132 lbs).
I told her that I don't want to have anorectic girl and she say that she loves me, so why she is going to be ill?

So there I've got ask for feeders, that maybe do you know something high-calorie, but looking as food for girl wanted to be thin? Like something, what I could add to tea without changing their's colour and taste.

I don't want to be feeder, but I see I must. I told her many histories about anorectic girls (In Poland one girl punctured the back with the coccyx!), her friend had anorexia too and she can't understand that she hurt herself with hers diets :/ Please help.
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:44 PM   #2
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I understand your concern and it seems genuine but the whole secret feeder schtick is a bad move. Maybe a better route would be to keep the food she likes around in abundance and let her choose to have it or not. What food does she like? Any snacks she particularly likes? Things like candy bowls might prompt her to snack. The main thing to consider though is that you font just want to slip a bunch of empty calories into her drink. If you're worried about her being anorexic that is the WORST action to take. She would see her efforts to lose weight by eating less (and hopefully exercising) not work so she would likely increase her efforts by eating even less. That would mean she got less real food that was healthy and more of the empty, unhealthy calories you slipped her. Address the anorexia concerns you have again and see if it helps. Maybe make large, healthy dinners with stuff she likes. Cook with a bit more olive oil or butter than normal to sneak a few extra calories in if you think she would only have a little I guess.
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:57 PM   #3
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If your girlfriend does actually have an eating disorder, then she needs a kind of help that you, or those of us at Dims, can't give her. She needs a doctor and a mental health professional, most likely. Don't mess around with this, it's serious business. You yourself said she's ill, so you have to accept that you can't 'fix' this.

Remember, too, that a woman with an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphic disorder (ie., looking in the mirror and seeing someone fat even when she's very thin) is going to notice if she is gaining weight. So even if there were a way to add calories to her diet (a very, very wrong thing to do), doing so would have the opposite effect; she would eat even less. She would harm herself even more. You would be doing damage to her, and that's what's important here: HER. Not you, or your preference for her to weigh more.

I wish the best for her.
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Old 01-28-2011, 04:02 PM   #4
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Uhm... if you think she may have an eating disorder, sneaking in calories is just bad. Chick needs help, not more food.
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Old 01-28-2011, 06:06 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes View Post
If your girlfriend does actually have an eating disorder, then she needs a kind of help that you, or those of us at Dims, can't give her. She needs a doctor and a mental health professional, most likely. Don't mess around with this, it's serious business. You yourself said she's ill, so you have to accept that you can't 'fix' this.

Remember, too, that a woman with an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphic disorder (ie., looking in the mirror and seeing someone fat even when she's very thin) is going to notice if she is gaining weight. So even if there were a way to add calories to her diet (a very, very wrong thing to do), doing so would have the opposite effect; she would eat even less. She would harm herself even more. You would be doing damage to her, and that's what's important here: HER. Not you, or your preference for her to weigh more.

I wish the best for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
Uhm... if you think she may have an eating disorder, sneaking in calories is just bad. Chick needs help, not more food.
what they said


do you really want to mess with your girlfriends psyche like that?

i think the one thing feeders seem to forget is that the feedee is giving up their psyche. the greek origins literally translate too ""soul, mind, breath, life". screw jung & freud, plato & aristotle had it right with the animated principles and the very essence of a human being, i digress. a feedee is a willing participant in this endeavor but they seem to bear all the brunt of the work. not against it, not for it, its just my opinion,what the fuck do I know

also when you say

"maybe do you know something high-calorie, but looking as food for girl wanted to be thin? Like something, what I could add to tea without changing theirs colour and taste"

your walking a thin line brother, to do anything like that unbeknownst to your girlfriend, lover whatever its just wrong. fat, skinny whatever forget any diet changes until you have her or yourself or her family get in touch with professional help (eating disorder's primarily).

i don't mean to offend any of my fellow dimension brethren by saying this but the last thing you need to be doing is coming to the weight board and asking for advice. i think you are probably hoping to hear something you want to hear (which you will) but we are talking about what sounds like someones life here compounded with depression.

so ask yourself do you really think it would be a good idea to slip her a mickey and have her gain weight?

do you you really think being a bbw/ssbbw would make her happy? or is it something that would make you happy?
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Old 01-28-2011, 06:14 PM   #6
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Besides all the other good advice, if your girlfriend found out that you were doing that, she wouldn't trust you and you could lose her.
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Old 01-29-2011, 04:38 PM   #7
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Ahh, I understand what are you saying. And you're right, but about some advice - unfortunately I'm not living with her, because we're too young (I'm 19 and she's 16).
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