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Old 02-16-2011, 03:43 PM   #1
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Default Threesomes

I know this is the fat sexuality thread, and I know that this issue will be a little more broad than that in some aspects, but I haven’t seen the topic, and I know at least one other member is toying with similar ideas.

I won’t get into the back story, but I had a boyfriend (now an ex) who was always trying to talk me into having a threesome. His position was that he wanted to see me pleasured and since in the regular course of love-making he was actively participating, he never really just got a chance to be the voyeur and concentrate on watching me.

I was hesitant to do so on two basic levels: first, I loved him, and I didn’t want to have sex with anyone else NOR did I want there to be a possibility that I would have to go through the pain of watching him have sex with someone else. Secondly, I wondered if his request was a sign that I wasn’t satisfying him enough in the bedroom, and I wasn’t jazzed on bringing another person into our relationship to possibly complicate matters even further.

As I’ve grown and matured and had other opportunities that have presented themselves, I still feel the same way I did before. BUT the question also entered my mind, what if it was someone else—someone I wasn’t in love with, but someone who I wanted to have some fun with? Would I be open to the idea under those circumstances?

And the issue seems to be that people are so variant in what they want out of a threesome and what they envision a threesome to be—two men, one woman? Two women, one man? Three people of the same sex? Does one only want to be a voyeur or do all want to be active participants? Do both men (or women) want to have sex with the woman (or man) but not have contact with each other? Do they want to be involved in a sex act with her (or him) at the same time?

My ex, for example, always wanted to have a threesome with a person (didn’t matter to him if it was male or female) who would do various things to both of us while we were fucking each other and then would eat me out after he came inside me. That’s pretty damned specific. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone who wants to both eat a pussy and taste semen?

Then to add in the BBW issue…even if you can find someone who wants to perform the acts the “couple” in the threesome have in mind, how do you find one who’s additionally attracted to an SSBBW, BHM or both?

At first blush, a threesome would seem so simple…but if any or all participants aren’t completely open with their preferences and sexuality, it can be horrendously complicated.

So I guess if anyone would like to share stories of their experiences or just weigh in on the general issue in any way, please feel free to do so.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:39 PM   #2
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Oooh interesting topic!

I've never had a threesome, but I think I would be open to it if such an opportunity presented itself. Like OP, I'm not sure how easy it would be to work out the details though....I would much prefer 3 active participants rather than a voyeur - just mulling this over now, i'm not sure why that's such an important point for me, but it is. Maybe because I'd be afraid of feeling left out, so I wouldnt want me or another person to feel that? Perhaps.

I'm not too fussed when it comes to 'gender ratio' but I think I'd prefer MMF...I think I'd like to be the centre of attention, as it were, and I also find male-male action really hot - i'd want some of that if it were MMF, not just two guys touching me. I've slept with a girl before, and would do so again, so I wouldn't discount a MFF encounter, but the type of girls I am attracted to are androgynous/butch girls. In my experience to date, these are not women that are usually attracted to men, and the kind of men who find me (fat pear shape) sexually attractive are usually not into the type of women that I am (not that I've had an abundance of male partners that would be up for getting it on with another guy either!).

I feel like i've talked my way round in circles a bit, but I read the OP and wanted to respond, even though I was just on my way to bed - sorry if this is a bit of a brain dump!
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Old 02-16-2011, 08:29 PM   #3
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I've had two threesomes before, once with my ex and a friend (while her partner watched) and once with me and a married couple. I don't think we talked about expectations enough beforehand, and with the first, I wasn't sure about what to do and felt strange about speaking up. The second was better, but still not the OMG so amazing experience I'd hoped for.

I know that I'd much rather I was the centre of attention for the next one, as I wasn't for either of the ones I had. Who does what, what's okay, what's off limits, that all should ideally be discussed first, I think, if you're a couple bringing a third in. I think I get bogged down a bit in logistics too much But I didn't like the feeling of being left out once the other woman and my then partner were having sex (which was after she used a strap on on me), and neither of them were paying any attention to me. You need to make sure everyone feels included, I think.

I'm still up for having another one at some point (and the guy I'm casually seeing wants one, though I think we might be skipping a few steps there), both FFM and MMF. I don't want a complete stranger to come in though, I'd rather the third person be known to at least one of us!
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Old 02-16-2011, 08:31 PM   #4
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Most of my sexual experiences have been "multiple-partnered" ones but there's a level of secrecy(sp), trust, and the fact that almost everyone involved are just horny buggers. Most of the females I've been involved in that kind of situation with have found curvier women to be hot, and some find ALL women to be hot when they're naked. The men, though, just seemed to like anything :-P So being BBW and SSBBW was never really an issue, though I did have my insecurities, no doubt.
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Old 02-16-2011, 09:26 PM   #5
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It's like almost all the guys I have been with want to have a threesome fantasy with us and another girl. When I inquiry if we can have a threesome with another man, they are like "hell no!"
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Old 02-16-2011, 10:24 PM   #6
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honestly,i couldn't have a threesome with me,another guy,and my girl if i had one.LOL i mean,it would be extrmemely difficult to see the woman i love and or care about getting banged by another guy.lol

even if i knew the guy and he was my freind that still wouldn't really sit well with me you know.i think as lovelylady says sometimes it could mean that your lover isn't satisfied.i mean,if he was satisfied why would he need additional help i say.

and it is kinda strange to hear a guy want a man or woman,usually the guy would want a another woman exclusively invovled when it comes to threesome,cause if you think about it most guys don't want other guys fir threesomes,they do want other woman.but if it was with a girl i didn't really care about and had the hots for,i don't know really,i could maybe do it,but if i did i would rather it be me and 2 other ladies.LOL

but it still would be an awkward situation for me regardless...but not saying i would never have one,i guess it all really depends really.having a threesomes where my feelings were attached? i don't think so.having a threesome with no feelings attached? maybe...
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Old 02-16-2011, 10:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penguin View Post
You need to make sure everyone feels included, I think.

you just listed the golden rule for a threesome right here.tell the others! LOL
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:53 AM   #8
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I never have but came very close. I was dating a lady about 5 years ago who I know had Bi curiosity, I once found lesbian porn in her room and when I asked her and she said she often thought of doing something with a woman but didnt have the guts to do it on her own. She wanted to go to a swinger club but in another city as she worked for Social services and was afraid of going to a local club and running into some of her clients. Never got around to the swinger club and feel like kicking myself now because I reckon I was pretty close.

Funny I did have another experience with her which was a bit unusual as her 20 year old virgin housemate who had never had a sexual experience in her life was interested in knowing more about sex, my ex invited her in to watch us fucking although she never took part she did spend over 2 hours in our company while we give a good demonstration of what she should expect.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:04 AM   #9
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My guy is very open and we have one special lady friend that will join us sometimes.
He would not be down with another guy involved and neither would I.
In all its quite a steamy thing and if you have never done it at least give it a try.Very very sensual with 3.
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:16 PM   #10
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Well, i do have some experiences in somesomes: FFM, MMF, MFMF FMMMM, mixed groups...

The core of what i have to say is that you should not "share" your partner even though you love her/him but because you love her/him.
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:35 PM   #11
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I knew that 3somes happened but didn't realise how common. Dims is kinda becoming like sex education for me. Thanks everyone for posting about something so private..... (oh for all those who take things literally don't read to much into it when i say dims being like sex education)
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:07 PM   #12
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It has to be with someone special not just anybody is all I'm saying.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:20 PM   #13
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I don't participate in threesomes and I prefer it is just me and him on the bed. I'm selfish like that!
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:44 PM   #14
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My wife and I have explored our sexuality early in our marriage: Experienced MFF, MFM, MFMF, MFFF. It was always because it was something we BOTH wanted to explore, and for the most part, it was a great experience, though we did have a problem with the other men involved; I married a too hot of a wife .

Just make sure that you're BOTH in clear minds, that the love is awesome, and the other(s) is/are special.
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:22 PM   #15
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Its been asked of me before but I never have. I've heard both sides of it from close friends who regularly have threesomes.

Some find it amazing and very sensual. Sometimes it brought him and his wife closer. On the other hand I've also seen a few relationships break up over it.

I think you have to really make sure you have a lot of trust, set some boundaries and consider your partners feelings.
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Old 02-18-2011, 09:41 AM   #16
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I have had one threesome and turned out to be a bad idea. My ex picked the other girl out and never knew the other girl was going to fall in love with me. And with her always wanting to come over or asking to do it again. My ex ended the relationship and I never did date the other girl. She came off as very over obsessed.
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Old 02-18-2011, 12:12 PM   #17
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I too thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and experiences.

I always find it amazing the variations there are on preferences for MMF, MFF, etc. and the justifications therefor...moreso sometimes the justifications for NOT being willing to do it with one configuration while almost insisting on doing with the other.

Bottom line: to each his own...

...though I guess that wouldn't necessarily literally be the case in a threesome....

Eh, you know what I mean.
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Old 02-23-2011, 10:26 AM   #18
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Ive had a few 3-somes, and alll were MFF (I like the look of FMF better, though ). Two of the times it was brought up first by one of the girls I was seeing. Another time I brought it up, and the last time it just happened.

The first time wasnt as good because I couldnt relax as I was wanting to show both ladies equal attention.
The next few times I didnt care, as the other two were also playing with each other.

I think the key is to relax and just go with it.
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Old 02-24-2011, 11:13 AM   #19
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I have participated in numerous threeways but I must say that I am not comfortable involving hetero cis men because I am not a big fan of penis and find their girl/girl fantasies (typically women doing things for their pleasure, the exclusion of andro/butch/queer dykes, how the male lead walks in and the girls drop their toys to worship his penis) demeaning to my sexuality.

Nevertheless, one of my hotter experiences involved a gay male couple where I assisted my Master friend in meting out a series of harsh punishments to his heavily masochistic submissive - the energy exchange was mindblowing, even though I did not actually have sex with either. The worst? Foolishly agreeing to do it with my then-girlfriend and her ex that she had mixed feelings about. Other than that, my other experiences have been pretty good and I would do it again, but as far as group sex goes I think I would prefer an even number instead because no matter how much you negotiate beforehand, you are still likely to get moments where one person feels a little left out.

On another note, I know of quite a few curious women who have fantasized about having sex with another woman for a while but during the session realised that they are not comfortable with certain acts after all (it could be as much as going down on the other girl or as little as deep kissing) which alters the dynamics of the threeway so it is something to consider and discuss I guess.

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Old 02-24-2011, 07:07 PM   #20
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Honestly...and this is just my opinion...I think threesomes can be dangerous because many times I think that one party always feels left out in some way, especially if for example it's a man and woman in a relationship and there is another woman there. The female part of the relationship might feel left out if the guy is paying the other woman too much attention, and that could really hurt her feelings (been there...so that I'm speaking from experience about). A lot of times, I think men try to introduce a woman into a threesome saying that they could do it with another man so that at some point in the future he can say..."I want to do her....you remember that time I let you do that other guy!".

I just think threesomes can complicate things. Granted...not for everyone...but for me..I'm not into them and dont think your average person is.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:50 AM   #21
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once upon a time I was pretty open to exploration and was *SINGLE* (keyword)....and wanted to experience what was open and available to me at the time.....MFM very erotic (the partner i knew was a regular FB at the time and brought along his buddy from outta town), found that very exciting and loved being the center of their attention; and thought it was way cool they were comfortable in this situation together HOT HOT HOT....

have done FMF also w/another kinda regular FB who was dying for his first 3some...unfortunately for him, despite she was a college student, and i was much older, she was into me totally and not interested in him..in fact when I left to use the bathroom; she got freaked out and left....interesting

another situation was with a guy I had been very attracted to who lived with his gf, who entertained 3somes w/women ONLY very regularly....however what she didn't know was i had been with him solo already, so it was kinda like his/my little secret.....again insanely hot...she was stunning and sexier then hell.....

so for me...doubt I would do a 3some in a committed relationship TODAY....but in my youth......FUCKIN GOOD TIMES
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Old 03-06-2011, 05:36 PM   #22
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I haven't ever had a threesome but I'd definitely be down. My boyfriend and I have talked about it but neither of us know anyone we could include. I'd only be interested in MFF and I think my boyfriend feels the same, although he did say if I wanted MMF he'd do it but I don't think that'd be a turn on for me really. I definitely hope we get to experience it together at some point.
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Old 03-08-2011, 10:44 AM   #23
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I'm still trying to perfect the twosome, don't even ask me to think about a third.
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Old 03-08-2011, 12:13 PM   #24
HottiMegan
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HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.HottiMegan has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Now that my sexual peak is in full swing, i think it would be fun to have another guy along I'm bi curious but not curious enough to act on it.
The thing that has held me back all along is that i have only been with one guy. I have only kissed one guy. All that makes me feel really inexperienced and inadequate. Plus, not sure if i could have fun with a random guy. That's a complication because i don't know if i can just have sex without feelings.. I really want to try though!!
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Old 03-08-2011, 12:52 PM   #25
snuggletiger
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snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I would be leery the two ladies would do their own thing, or the guy and the girl would have their own thing, and in either event I'd just be the third wheel then that whole 2's Company 3's a Crowd thing would come into my mind let alone the complications in positioning people around the bed. Its Sex not the Olympics.
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