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Old 03-12-2011, 10:41 PM   #26
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I've been having sex for about 4 years now and I still haven't reached my first orgasm during sex either! I've had plenty of clitoral orgasms on my own, alas, no G-spot orgasms. I hope we get there soon!
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Old 03-13-2011, 12:19 PM   #27
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I was alone, seventeen years old, and I'd stolen some sort of kitchen appliance and wrapped it in plastic as a make-shift vibrator.

The sad thing is, the orgasm was so powerful that I stopped in the middle of it thinking that something abnormal was happening to me! Had I only known that I'd never have another one so good in my life! *sigh*
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Old 03-13-2011, 12:32 PM   #28
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I've been having sex for about 4 years now and I still haven't reached my first orgasm during sex either! I've had plenty of clitoral orgasms on my own, alas, no G-spot orgasms. I hope we get there soon!
I've been having sex for 18 years and I've never had a vaginal orgasm, although one time I felt like I got really, really close...

Maybe some women just don't have them, and I'm cool with it if I never experience one myself.

Of course, I do hope I have one someday -- it certainly ain't for lack of trying that I haven't yet!
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Old 03-13-2011, 12:57 PM   #29
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I've been having sex for 18 years and I've never had a vaginal orgasm, although one time I felt like I got really, really close...

Maybe some women just don't have them, and I'm cool with it if I never experience one myself.

Of course, I do hope I have one someday -- it certainly ain't for lack of trying that I haven't yet!
Awww...I really hope it isn't that some women just don't have them D:
One of my friends speculated that it could be less of a physical and more of a mental barrier that's keeping me from reaching climax. :P What do you think?
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Old 03-13-2011, 03:06 PM   #30
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I wonder for all the girls that haven't yet had the vj orgasm, whether or not you've just not had one with a partner, or you havent found out how to do it with yourself either?
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Old 03-13-2011, 03:54 PM   #31
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Awww...I really hope it isn't that some women just don't have them D:
One of my friends speculated that it could be less of a physical and more of a mental barrier that's keeping me from reaching climax. :P What do you think?
It's possible that you'll get closer to that point with time and greater understanding of your own body and its physical responses...I think there's just a natural evolution in that regard which happens gradually and often unconsciously for most women.

Also, I think the way that you relate to a particular partner and how much chemistry exists between you -- how at ease you feel with someone both physically and emotionally -- plays a huge role. So, yes, I think a big part of it is mental for women, but it's also true that we just sexually "ripen" a bit later (in our 30's) than men do. (And -- lets' face it -- the relative maturity, experience and mastery of "technique" in our partners plays a giant part, too.)

The best advice I can give you is to relax and not worry about how your body may or may not be responding or think yourself "deficient" in some way because you're not experiencing what Cosmo magazine says you should. I remember feeling a certain pressure to be like a porn Goddess, or something, having multiple orgasms out of every orifice, etc., and eventually I figured out that it's a lot of bullshit. There's a bajillion ways to enjoy sex and I'm sure with time (and the right partner) you'll figure out just what works for you, mentally, emotionally, and in every other way.
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Old 03-13-2011, 04:02 PM   #32
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I wonder for all the girls that haven't yet had the vj orgasm, whether or not you've just not had one with a partner, or you havent found out how to do it with yourself either?
I think my problem is that I've had few decent partners and not enough time with the couple of good ones I have had in order to get this little love rocket off the ground. Most guys are a lousy lay, if I'm being brutally honest. They don't last long enough or they stop-start-stop-start and they can't get a decent rhythm going to allow the stimulation to build in me. Often they just go at it too hard (which I like, don't get me wrong), but usually a certain delicate threshold is just barreled over and lost. It's frustrating.

As far as doing it to myself is concerned, I just can't get off on dildos, somehow. A vibrator, yes, but only "externally." I think I might be a little over-sensitive in the VJ, that there's a very fine line for me between just the right amount of stimulation and being painfully overstimulated, and that I haven't really explored it on my own because it's sort of...tricky for me, if that makes any sense.

Keep in mind that I'm relatively new, as of the last few years, to the concept of FAs or that my body might be attractive or desirable to a man. I think the self-loathing I had for such a long time definitely retarded my sexual growth, so to speak. I'd love to have sex with a genuine FA who truly appreciated my specific type of figure, but sadly, I haven't really had the opportunity yet, I don't think.

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Old 03-13-2011, 04:20 PM   #33
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Awww...I really hope it isn't that some women just don't have them D:
One of my friends speculated that it could be less of a physical and more of a mental barrier that's keeping me from reaching climax. :P What do you think?
I think this definitely plays a role for me.. I've had more than one person imply (or outright say) that something must be wrong with me or that I'm doing something wrong and thats why I can't finish. I think it has a lot to do with their own insecurities regarding their abilities. I always just remind them that I can get myself to orgasm in less than 30 seconds, so I don't think my clit is exactly malfunctioning. A lot of partners don't take the time to get to know the person.. and although I've really tried to teach people to do it the "right way" (for my own body, that is) it hasn't seemed to help. The guy I most recently dated (as in, we broke up like 20 hours ago :/) did really put in a lot of effort.. and subsequently, I was muchmuuuch closer with him than anyone else (with the exception of the one person who was able to get me off.) Anyway, I think this has given me a complex about it. I feel uncomfortably pressured to finish and I have some insecurities about not being able to or taking too long to so it just hasn't happened (except that once.) The other reason I think it's a mental thing is because the one and only time I had an orgasm from someone else I was reallllly really high. I think it helped relax me enough to get to that point. Here's hoping it happens eventually though! I think I just need to be with the right person, in the right situation.

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Old 03-13-2011, 05:01 PM   #34
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Awww...I really hope it isn't that some women just don't have them D:
One of my friends speculated that it could be less of a physical and more of a mental barrier that's keeping me from reaching climax. :P What do you think?
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I've been having sex for 18 years and I've never had a vaginal orgasm, although one time I felt like I got really, really close...

Maybe some women just don't have them, and I'm cool with it if I never experience one myself.

Of course, I do hope I have one someday -- it certainly ain't for lack of trying that I haven't yet!
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I was alone, seventeen years old, and I'd stolen some sort of kitchen appliance and wrapped it in plastic as a make-shift vibrator.

The sad thing is, the orgasm was so powerful that I stopped in the middle of it thinking that something abnormal was happening to me! Had I only known that I'd never have another one so good in my life! *sigh*

From what i have read (and i have done some research on the topic as orgasms are very important to me lol), it is possible (biologically) for each woman to have a g-spot orgasm but it has alot to do with relaxing, being comfortable with the situation (or partner) and taking the right amount of time. I read that the g-spot has to be stimulated a certain way and many times the men just are not spending the time to figure it out. I am not saying men are bad lovers, just saying that not every man realizes there is more to sex then the motion, each woman is different with different pressures, speeds and techniques. I know what works for me, and I would seriously recommend each woman who has never had one, to google how to achieve one through masturbation, grab what gets you going and have at it!! It can take a bit to get the hang of it (not as easily accessable as a clit lol) but is very good
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:25 PM   #35
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I think this definitely plays a role for me.. I've had more than one person imply (or outright say) that something must be wrong with me or that I'm doing something wrong and thats why I can't finish. I think it has a lot to do with their own insecurities regarding their abilities. I always just remind them that I can get myself to orgasm in less than 30 seconds, so I don't think my clit is exactly malfunctioning. A lot of partners don't take the time to get to know the person.. and although I've really tried to teach people to do it the "right way" (for my own body, that is) it hasn't seemed to help. The guy I most recently dated (as in, we broke up like 20 hours ago :/) did really put in a lot of effort.. and subsequently, I was muchmuuuch closer with him than anyone else (with the exception of the one person who was able to get me off.) Anyway, I think this has given me a complex about it. I feel uncomfortably pressured to finish and I have some insecurities about not being able to or taking too long to so it just hasn't happened (except that once.) The other reason I think it's a mental thing is because the one and only time I had an orgasm from someone else I was reallllly really high. I think it helped relax me enough to get to that point. Here's hoping it happens eventually though! I think I just need to be with the right person, in the right situation.
I don't know your dating history at all, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the guys you've been with are themselves pretty young (like, early 20's)...? (Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

If true, then they probably don't really know what they're doing, I have to say. I know it's a broad generalization...but I defy any woman of a "certain age" to argue otherwise.

In which case, it's most definitely NOT your fault. Hell -- even if you've been with an older man you still need time to "discover" your own body, so to speak.
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:39 PM   #36
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And I'll just add, for all you young women -- DO NOT be taken in by the mantra that men "peak" sexually at the age of 18. Their ability to shoot their wad like a howitzer might be at its height, but that has nothing to do with their prowess as a lover. I personally believe that most men (again, gross generalizations, I know) don't come into their own in terms of sensitivity, technique and the understanding of what it means to make love to a partner on multiple levels of body and soul until they are at least in their mid-to-late 30's...and often a decade beyond that. Let's say that their emotional maturity finally catches up with their sexuality at a certain age.
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:09 PM   #37
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I don't know your dating history at all, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the guys you've been with are themselves pretty young (like, early 20's)...? (Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

If true, then they probably don't really know what they're doing, I have to say. I know it's a broad generalization...but I defy any woman of a "certain age" to argue otherwise.

In which case, it's most definitely NOT your fault. Hell -- even if you've been with an older man you still need time to "discover" your own body, so to speak.
100% agreed!! It is not you!! It is not your fault!!
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:45 PM   #38
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These past few posts are very encouraging...!
Lala you make me giggle! "Their ability to shoot their wad like a howitzer might be at its height..." ahahaha xD

@thatgirl, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup I can definitely relate to having people think that my inability to finish is my fault. In my experience, some of the guys took it as a challenge, while others didn't even really try...

And @bonified, I've never achieved a G-spot orgasm-even when I'm doing it solo :P

I think out of all my partners, the one I was most comfortable with was my high school boyfriend. I always felt sexy and beautiful with him despite my size. (Don't get me wrong-I find many larger individuals very attractive, but the rest of the world does not always agree D

The rest of the guys I've been intimate with have (for the most part) been hookups/fwb-and I find myself feeling pretty self-conscious with them. I think I definitely need to find someone I can feel comfortable with...

Cheers to our many future orgasms!
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:55 PM   #39
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Oooh Lalacity, I'm from Santa Barbara too! > (off topic I know)
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:04 PM   #40
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Pretty sure that I was an early teen, and it was on my back, in the tub, with my legs up against the wall and the water hitting my clit. I think I read it in Everything I Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Was Afraid To Ask.

First orgasm from oral sex was July of 2009. Burst into tears while it was happening.

July of 2010, I had my first orgasm from vaginal sex (cried after that one too lol). I think I had it because I was not expecting it. I had sex for 11 years, faking my way through, so I didn't think it was going to happen.

Boy. Was I WRONG lol.
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:15 PM   #41
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Oooh Lalacity, I'm from Santa Barbara too! > (off topic I know)
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Pretty sure that I was an early teen, and it was on my back, in the tub, with my legs up against the wall and the water hitting my clit. I think I read it in Everything I Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Was Afraid To Ask.

First orgasm from oral sex was July of 2009. Burst into tears while it was happening.

July of 2010, I had my first orgasm from vaginal sex (cried after that one too lol). I think I had it because I was not expecting it. I had sex for 11 years, faking my way through, so I didn't think it was going to happen.

Boy. Was I WRONG lol.
I am so glad that you had the orgasmic experiences you did and that hopefully each one of the awesome women on here that haven't had orgasms (whether from sex or at all) will be having them all the time and happy days for all! I will also say, though it was not my frist orgasm from sex, I too have burst out crying (in a good way lol) during sex and my hunny just reminded me of it other day....for me it was a very emotional experience I was having with him, not just physical and I felt humbled by my feelings for him at the moment and was just very open and very much in love so maybe that is the depth of feelings (not those specific feelings per se) that one has to reach to be able to have an orgasm from sex....who knows, just hope everyone is having one (to start lol)
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:16 PM   #42
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lol oh I included the Santa Barb one cause one day I plan on getting my PhD in CA so I will be your norther neighbor!! Forgot to add on other post lol
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:53 PM   #43
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lol the ones where you burst into tears are killers. It's where I think they must have coined the term "tears of joy" from.

Usually the 2nd go round is better as in my experience, a guys first one is always a lil less easier for them to control.
I think its about angles for me penetratively, I need it from behind & kinda hittin to the left & upwards coupled with a constant to get er did.

I don't also mind the young ones, they are eager to learn, are quicker to recover and take instruction without gettin all butt hurt unlike the the older wannabe cassanovas with monitor tans from all their eskimotube experience.
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:53 PM   #44
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I think this definitely plays a role for me.. I've had more than one person imply (or outright say) that something must be wrong with me or that I'm doing something wrong and thats why I can't finish. I think it has a lot to do with their own insecurities regarding their abilities. I always just remind them that I can get myself to orgasm in less than 30 seconds, so I don't think my clit is exactly malfunctioning. A lot of partners don't take the time to get to know the person.. and although I've really tried to teach people to do it the "right way" (for my own body, that is) it hasn't seemed to help. The guy I most recently dated (as in, we broke up like 20 hours ago :/) did really put in a lot of effort.. and subsequently, I was muchmuuuch closer with him than anyone else (with the exception of the one person who was able to get me off.) Anyway, I think this has given me a complex about it. I feel uncomfortably pressured to finish and I have some insecurities about not being able to or taking too long to so it just hasn't happened (except that once.) The other reason I think it's a mental thing is because the one and only time I had an orgasm from someone else I was reallllly really high. I think it helped relax me enough to get to that point. Here's hoping it happens eventually though! I think I just need to be with the right person, in the right situation.
I think you shouldn't worry about it. Just give it time I guess. As you get older your body changes and then one day, Bam!

I had honestly thought I was incapable of having vaj orgasms and even back then I had to guide my partners a bit so that I'd get what I needed, but sometimes orgasms just didn't happen, and that's okay I think. The first guy to give me a really great orgasm...It was purely physical between us, so there was physical chemistry, but not necessarily emotional chemistry. I think he just took his time and made sure I was enjoying myself. He didn't make it all about his O, and he knew how to navigate a fat woman's body since he was an FA. After him I realized I liked that level of comfort way more than whatever I was experiencing with all the guys before him. I wonder if all that belly frottage and such before hand as foreplay had something to do with it cause no guy had ever touched me like that before and I discovered I liked it.

Anyway, all women are different, and we shouldn't feel pressured to have something that our culture says we should or feel inadequate if we don't. I say if it happens it happens and if it doesn't, it doesn't. Enjoy the ride.
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Old 03-14-2011, 03:34 PM   #45
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Any man who implies, or says outright, that there is something wrong with you...run. He is not worth any of your time, let alone worth having access to your body in any way. Run.

Women are so beaten up about not having the ' right ' kind of orgasms...not having multiple orgasms...having too many orgasms.

Don't keep score. Do not compare. As for the whole G-spot thing...it is suggested that not every woman has one and that it doesn't work the same for every woman who does have one. Not all women enjoy having the area stimulated...it can be uncomfortable for some...etc..etc.. I think that there has been so much fretting surrounding the issue, because, instead of it being just another fun thing to explore, it has been hit with really damaging dialogue about " real " orgasms from " real " sex.

It's supposed to be fun, people.
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Old 03-17-2011, 09:03 AM   #46
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Thanks for all the advice and comments and everything! I think I just need to find the right person.

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Old 03-17-2011, 09:21 AM   #47
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Thanks for all the advice and comments and everything! I think I just need to find the right person.
Amen sister.
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Old 03-17-2011, 08:31 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by DeerVictory View Post
I probably would have been around 9 or 10 when I started masturbating, but I don't remember my first orgasm. In my house, we have a jacuzzi with jets and I used to position myself so the water would hit my clitoris. I used to read my mother's victorian smut that she hid in her drawers while I did it, but I don't remember the specific time that I had my first orgasm. I remember breaking my hymen though, because it was before I got my period officially and I was really confused by it.

My first orgasm with the help of another person was in an airport when I was 17.

I know I started masturbating at age 9. I would put a pillow on top of a chair, straddle it, and rub my clit until I orgasmed. I would do this watching the spice channel when you could still see people having sex between those squiggly horizontal lines.
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Old 03-25-2011, 06:59 PM   #49
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The first time I orgasmed, I was quite young. I can't remember how young exactly, but young enough that I was rather confused watching a late-night show called Cathouse (sneakily, my parents were in bed), about the bunny ranch in America. I saw the women on there masturbating (clitoral), and wondering what the big deal was, tried the same action on myself... I mimicked them, so was a little rough on myself, but eventually orgasmed... it was the most intense one I've ever had.

It also scared the hell out of me, and I didn't try again for weeks.
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Old 03-25-2011, 07:22 PM   #50
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My Mama had a claw foot tub when I was around 8 or 9, and I would try to sit on the edge like I did with my tub, but the lip was to narrow so when I decided to straddle the thing I got a jolt of crazy sensation, and started rubbing back in forth along the tub, within a few seconds I had an orgasm. I remember I was in shock, but in a good way, I couldn't wait to take a bath in my Mama's bathroom again the next night, and for weeks afterward I refused to use my own tub. I was only 10 when I was sneaking Harlequin romance novels and reading undercover, and having orgasm after orgasm till I fell asleep.
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