Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BBW Forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-06-2011, 08:47 AM   #76
paintsplotch
paint me happy
 
paintsplotch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern MA
Posts: 236
paintsplotch has super-sized reppaintsplotch has super-sized reppaintsplotch has super-sized reppaintsplotch has super-sized rep
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau View Post
Had a very interesting conversation about orgasms with a lesbian friend and she said that she no longer sleeps with straight women because too often they simply do not 'negotiate' sex. She said in her experience most straight women are very passive about their pleasure, less vocal than her lesbian lovers have been and all of them, overwhelmingly, have never actually asked for what they wanted - or even seemed to know what to ask for. I was a little shocked at first but then I thought about all the women I know and their stories of their sexual encounters and how few of them ever even have sex for their own pleasure. That shook me - hard. I think we should have an orgasm week or something where we talk about our orgasms, what gets us there and just our journeys to orgasm. And this shouldn't be about men - it should be about us, educating ourselves and each other about our own bodies and our own pleasure. Orgasms are a big deal for me I'm sure you can tell. I just want to see women everywhere - straight and gay - moving to a place where our pleasure is important and where girl children know that they have a right to this pleasure, a right to give it to themselves and a right to expect and ask it from a partner.


that is awesome..... i like the way you think.... and write..... i totally agreeeeeeeeeee


__________________
~a dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. :wubu:
paintsplotch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2011, 08:54 PM   #77
seavixen
Ditz Extraordinaire
 
seavixen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: oregon
Posts: 583
seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!seavixen has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau View Post
She said in her experience most straight women are very passive about their pleasure, less vocal than her lesbian lovers have been and all of them, overwhelmingly, have never actually asked for what they wanted - or even seemed to know what to ask for. I was a little shocked at first but then I thought about all the women I know and their stories of their sexual encounters and how few of them ever even have sex for their own pleasure. That shook me - hard.
This is so true. I'm not sure what exactly changes that - confidence? Being comfortable with your partner? Just flat out knowing what you want? I remember feeling like sex was an acceptance tool. If someone wanted to have sex with me, they were accepting me. (Great self esteem, right? Pshaw.) I wonder if other women feel that way, too, and it's a barrier to really enjoying it and achieving orgasm.

I don't have that issue anymore - haven't for years - and I really do think that the confidence, the ability to just go totally wild and enjoy every second of it, is what makes an amazing orgasm happen. It also thrills your partner, drives them crazy, which in turn makes it better for YOU, and... yeah.

It's too easy for women to just sort of lay there and expect to be "made" to climax. Then you think of the dishes or feeding the cat or something and there's no way in hell it's going to happen. (Unless you have a very talented and passionate partner who can take your mind off everything else... which helps all around.) But it's as much up to us as it is to whoever we're sleeping with. Sometimes just getting excited and into it is enough to build the necessary tension.

(Tension is so hugely important to me. I don't care about candles and music; sexual tension is the key.)

Sounds and vocalizations in general help. Uh, but that's just me. :P
seavixen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2011, 05:05 AM   #78
Pitch
 
Pitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 230
Pitch is a member of the 500 clubPitch is a member of the 500 clubPitch is a member of the 500 clubPitch is a member of the 500 clubPitch is a member of the 500 clubPitch is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaitiDee View Post

But anywho, I'm curious what your experience was. How old were you? Were you alone? Did you use any toys? Any advice for a newcomer? (Did ya catch that? I'm so punny.)
You aren't alone in being late to the O-game or experiencing it solo! I'm 27, but I had my first when I was 21 or so. And I'd had sex with both genders and toys since 16. So, it took quite a while. But I used one of those hooked G-spot vibrators alone in the dark one night and -voila! It was kind of mind blowing.

My advice would be to keep on keeping on. Try a few different ways to do it and the more you masturbate, the easier (apparently) it is to achieve it with a partner involved.

As for straight women not being vocal or too passive? So far that's been true for me, too. I've slept with a few straight girls and they played the "Dead fish" game. Not very engaging. But that's not me saying all straight women are like that. (Or hoping, rather?) In their defense heterosexuality has a lot of females (at least the ones I know. And no, not -every- straight female. Don't kill me, I'm just a lowly bisexual!)assuming they're supposed to lay on their backs and take whatevers' happening to them. (Which sounds like it SUCKS)

I blame McCarthyism. Ba-dum-tish.
__________________
"And you look a little touché'd..." -[SIGPIC]http://i53.tinypic.com/2zi3h3k.jpg[/SIGPIC]
Pitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2011, 12:41 AM   #79
Amatrix
Winkyface
 
Amatrix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the eyes of angels and tragedies
Posts: 895
Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Amatrix has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I was 14 and I thought I was having a heart attack. I was just touching myself and had no idea why it felt so good... then all of the sudden it felt really great, and BOOM...stars/rockets/rainbows/glitter. I was alone.

I did not do it again until I was 16, with my then boyfriend... then some lovers have and some have not. I don't hold it against them if they just cant get it right for me, I can do me better then anyone I know anyways.

I never did use toys until I was older- like 21... Now I own a few different toys.
Each have a purpose and reason behind them- g spot finder for nights when I have time to really enjoy myself... mini vibe for when I am in a hurry and just need stress relief... ect.

I do suggest you find a safe, warm, dim lit place. Semi quiet, and free of distractions. Take your time... get to know what you like. Pay attention to your breathing... and read about it. I thought I was a cursed female with no gspot... until like 2 weeks ago.

Now that... is a hobby.
__________________
Sugar and Spite.
Amatrix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2011, 01:35 AM   #80
Kamily
 
Kamily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 387
Kamily has super-sized repKamily has super-sized repKamily has super-sized repKamily has super-sized repKamily has super-sized rep
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitch View Post
As for straight women not being vocal or too passive? So far that's been true for me, too. I've slept with a few straight girls and they played the "Dead fish" game. Not very engaging. But that's not me saying all straight women are like that. (Or hoping, rather?) In their defense heterosexuality has a lot of females (at least the ones I know. And no, not -every- straight female. Don't kill me, I'm just a lowly bisexual!)assuming they're supposed to lay on their backs and take whatevers' happening to them. (Which sounds like it SUCKS)

Not this woman!! That sounds boring. Apparently their partner didnt know what he was doing.




I was 16 a the time and yep I was alone. It was a couple years later before I had one with a partner.
Kamily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2011, 05:12 PM   #81
BigBodyChevy
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 10
BigBodyChevy has said some nice things
Default

I think I was about eight years old when I had my first orgasm. I used to hump my cabbage patch doll. Back then, I was very sexually aware even though I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. I used to watch my dad's pornos when he went to work. He thought he was slick because he would leave all of the VHS's at certain parts, so I would pop one in the VCR, rewind it to the beginning, watch it to the end and then rewind it to the certain time number it was originally on. lol
BigBodyChevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2011, 12:51 PM   #82
Jello404
 
Jello404's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Honolulu
Posts: 100
Jello404 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesJello404 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Cool

I think I was around 12 or 13.What can I say Im an early bloomer lol By that time I fully discovered porn and watched it regularly. Unfortunately it was in the days of PPV so I used to get in SOOO MUCH TROUBLE for charging $9.99+ to our cable bill a few times a month....So I remember this one flick I was watching had a woman who was playing with herself while watching other people have sex,it was strangely fascinating to me.I didnt understand why she found touching herself pleasurable. I didnt understand why she was watching group sex either.So I imitated her because she really looked like she was enjoying herself and eventually BAM! Its funny... I always knew what they were-I just never had one so when I did I remember the first thing I said was "omg I think I just had my first orgasm!" and they were the first of many.I was so proud of myself lmfao
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Jello404 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2011, 06:03 PM   #83
phatpanther18
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 10
phatpanther18 has said some nice things
Default i was really young

my first DIY was as young as 6 . i can just remember touching myself down there a lot and feeling really good, while not knowing what i was feeling . i can remember my parents hiting me and telling me to stop they called it the "nasty thing" lol.Orgasim to me was like candy so i really couldn't stop , so i learned later in life not to do it around anyone lol. i also did alot of sexual things when i was younger not even knowing what sex was! . it wasn't until i got my first computer (i was 15 or 16) that wikied it and found out that "feeling good" was Orgasming and other sexual stuff fyi i was never ever taught about sex growing up. my story about my young adventures in to sex is crazy and i can go on. thanks wiki
phatpanther18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:11 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.