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Old 03-13-2011, 04:52 PM   #1
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Default I'm frustrated -- I feel like the "wrong" type of BBW.

I apologize if the following comes off as disjointed or inarticulate -- I've been mulling this question for years but it's still difficult for me to put it into words...

I'm 5'4" and a size 16 "hourglass" (I've fluctuated a size or two in either direction over the course of my adult life), and I can't get a handle on where I fit within the spectrum of FA desire. I'd like to think there's a healthy number of men out there who would find me attractive, but often I feel that I sort of fall through the cracks (too fat for skinny-loving non-FAs and too small for genuine FAs). I keep telling myself that there must be a subset of men who like my size (and, hopefully, shape), but I can't say that I've ever genuinely met one. My experience with boyfriends has generally run along the lines of my being the biggest girl they've ever dated and has always been accompanied by the nagging doubt that they are stretching themselves to include me within the palette of what they can find desirable (and I do realize the possibility that maybe it's all been in my head, so to speak), as opposed to feeling that I'm with a man who's just out-and-out crazy for my body and blissfully and excitedly lets me know it.

I guess I've been preoccupied with the question of whether I "size up" as a BBW or if I should just throw in the towel and try to lose weight to attract a partner (although, I don't think this will really work, because I'll always have a chubby "BBW-ish" body under my clothes, even if I look "skinny" on the outside. I think, were I to get down to the smallest size within my fluctuating range, that an FA would outwardly judge me as not a proper BBW, whereas a non-FA would be disappointed in my fleshiness once my clothes come off and he finds that I'm not as fit or "toned" as he'd like). Additionally, I don't believe I'd ever feel happy trying to be thin -- it's not natural to me and I don't think that I'd ever feel secure in trying to attract non-FAs as partners.

I also recognize that it may not be so much the size and shape of my body as the lingering self-doubt I possess over my worth and attractiveness which might be limiting my success with men. As I've said in other threads, I'm still relatively new to the idea that FAs exist, after a lifetime of believing that only slim women qualify as attractive to men. I'm still learning to accept myself as I am, in other words.

But I also fear whether FAs develop a sort of size fetish over time, as though only an ever-larger BBW will do as an adequate partner or someone worth showing off to the world. I wonder if the same "trophy girlfriend" mentality prevails among FAs as widely as it seems to among non-FAs.

This may seem shallow and silly of me, but it really goes to a deep and painful feeling of doubt as to whether I'll ever meet someone who finds me beautiful for me.

I guess I'd just like the FAs to weigh in with any and every thought they might have on the subject, even though I've regrettably presented it perhaps too vaguely. If I had to reduce it down to a blunt query, I guess I'd ask, do you think a woman of my size is attractive and qualifies as a BBW, or would you be disappointed by my (lack of) size? You can be brutally honest -- I really do want to know, and I promise not to be offended. Other BBWs are also welcome to chime in, of course.

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Old 03-13-2011, 05:15 PM   #2
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P.S. mods -- if you think this would garner more responses if moved to the FA forum, please feel free to do so.
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:18 PM   #3
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Hey Lala...I am your size, almost excatly in clothes, a comfortable 16 (as right now) and a hourglass figure, smaller waist, bigger hips and had the same type of experiences...guys dating me as the biggest girl but it was because they said I was pretty and hoped maybe I would lose the weight...either way, it is a horrible feeling to know the person you are with is digging you expect for your weight, which is a hard thing to control. I personally, gave up trying to lose weight to find a man to want me, and instead decided to accept I am fat and love food! lol But your deeper question, in my experience is yes, you will. The person I am seeing is a FA, he loves them huge and would be trilled if I weighted 600+ lbs and I am way smaller than what he would normally find attractive (400+ is his standard) which is much bigger than I am. With that being said, he still wants to be with me. He would love if I gained (which I am but not for him) but is fine if I stay, but the point is that I am still fat. I might be a BBW right now (I mean a size 16 isn't skinny by any means lol) but I look average pretty much, lol until I get undressed and then all the belly blubber comes out lol....anyways, if you meet a man is a FA then he might like you have a soft fat(ish) body and accept that is you, and if not then he isn't the right one....but there are FA's that don't need you to be size 20+ to find you attractive...just have to find the right guy but at your size he is out there
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:45 PM   #4
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Aww, thank you Rubenesquehunny! Your response already makes me feel loads better.
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:56 PM   #5
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It's really true I swear, the last guy I dated wanted me to lose weight, he was very very honest about that and it hurts...it hurts to know the person you are with isn't attracted to you or wants you another way....it is painful regardless of whether he wants you big or small as you are who you are as a person....if you have chunk lol I believe the FA's will come, just have to find the right one for you
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:19 PM   #6
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Oh man girls, hourglass shape = sooo soo hot and there are plenty of guys who find women your size very attractive. I happen to be one of them !
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:27 PM   #7
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I suppose I'll comment more on the idea of a "size fetish".

For me, as I've become more and more comfortable expressing my preference I have become more and more comfortable with the larger women however that doesn't mean I don't prefer chubby/fat/thing women as I find that all women have the potential to be beautifu and sexy.

However I'm a closet case so if this is a sort of starter "size fetish" or me becoming more comfortable with larger women is anyone's guess. I'd gather it depends on the man.

That being said, I have heard of other men having this sort of thing although some of them I really have a low opinion of. One man for instance in his video detailing why he liked SSBBWS said he felt compelled to "seek out a larger and larger ass" however I doubt all men are so perverted, primitive, and shallow in their nature (least I would hope they weren't).'

There are also men who either are interested in all sizes or are asexual but I highly doubt some people will want an asexual if they are particularly sexual...

Anyways, there are men who like women of all different sizes. On this site you have a tendency to find men who like larger women, on other sites I have found other men who prefer "chubby" women but not fat, and practically everywhere you will find a man who likes thin women.

Don't give up there are many men out there and I'm sure there will be someone out there who likes you for you in your entirety.
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:41 PM   #8
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Hey this has got to be true!! We have a winner right here!!
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Old 03-14-2011, 10:31 AM   #9
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Hey Lala...I am your size, almost excatly in clothes, a comfortable 16 (as right now) and a hourglass figure, smaller waist, bigger hips and had the same type of experiences...guys dating me as the biggest girl but it was because they said I was pretty and hoped maybe I would lose the weight...either way, it is a horrible feeling to know the person you are with is digging you expect for your weight, which is a hard thing to control. I personally, gave up trying to lose weight to find a man to want me, and instead decided to accept I am fat and love food! lol But your deeper question, in my experience is yes, you will. The person I am seeing is a FA, he loves them huge and would be trilled if I weighted 600+ lbs and I am way smaller than what he would normally find attractive (400+ is his standard) which is much bigger than I am. With that being said, he still wants to be with me. He would love if I gained (which I am but not for him) but is fine if I stay, but the point is that I am still fat. I might be a BBW right now (I mean a size 16 isn't skinny by any means lol) but I look average pretty much, lol until I get undressed and then all the belly blubber comes out lol....anyways, if you meet a man is a FA then he might like you have a soft fat(ish) body and accept that is you, and if not then he isn't the right one....but there are FA's that don't need you to be size 20+ to find you attractive...just have to find the right guy but at your size he is out there

well...as a life long fa I have to say that, that there are extremely attractive sexy women that weigh 100lbs and extremely sexy attractive women that weigh 500lb - I like women.
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Old 03-14-2011, 01:28 PM   #10
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My two cents (horribly rounded up for inflation):
I don't know how much your self-doubt manifests itself outwardly, so I can't really comment on that much; if you're regularly questioning them or discounting any compliments or attention then that definitely is a turn off, but no more so than with anyone.

I will say this though, my experience in dealing with other FAs has told me that just as there's a wide variety of girl shapes/sizes there's as much a variety in preferences. It doesn't appear that way because I think some sizes/shapes are more readily apparent and the attention they garner is more obvious, but they're just more vocal, not necessarily more common.

Plus, while there are 'certain type' FAs there's definitely those with a multi-preference (which I think is more common in FAs), so while they may comment on one type, they can just as easily turn around and equally appreciate another type. (Like me!) Personally, I'm attracted to girls with more of a je ne sais quoi quality that runs through lots of sizes and types, so it's pretty hard to loudly proclaim something from a mountaintop that won't fit on a billboard.

Even with the FAs who have a narrow type 'set in stone' they find that sometimes their tastes change over time. So I guess the best advice I can give is not to worry too much about 'where you fit' and just keep working on getting more comfortable with yourself and making your own space.
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Old 03-14-2011, 02:57 PM   #11
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1) On a personal note, my wife is a size 16, was a 12 when we met, was a 20 at her heaviest....has been stunning (at least to me!) at all of those sizes.

2) On a general note, I know a fair number of guys who would say something along the lines of "I like curvy girls" "I like 'em with plenty of T and A" "I like a little meat on bone, you know?" I know very few who might prefer larger sizes, and none other who have stated a preference for larger sizes. So from what I've seen, there are probably more who would like sizes like yours than larger sizes.

3) I think liking your own body, in a sexual way, can be a big part of selling it to a partner, but I guess that can be a bit of a chicken and egg situation, so I'm not saying it is at all easy to achieve.

4) In the long run everyone's bodies sag, wrinkle, get creaky, etc. In the long run a relationship has to be about wanting to be with the person far more than the body. The body may get you talking in the first place, but I think it should be forgiveable that they don't think you are the absolute hottest thing on 2 legs, provided they keep any other thoughts to themselves, make you feel adored, and cleave only unto you.
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Old 03-14-2011, 03:20 PM   #12
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Please don't take this the wrong way Lala but I've always found a great deal of truth in the old Polish proverb "A bad dancer blames the floor." And here's the thing, when it comes to relationships we're nearly ALL bad dancers. I'd love for there to be these great external circumstances beyond my control to rationalize my failed relationships. I can convince most people they're there, too. I can be absolutely blameless that women can't relate to me just as I am. Or, worse yet, I can concede that I'm no prize and settle for someone I know I can hold onto. Bottom line - I'm alone because I'm alone. Nobody to thank but myself. I can say that and in the same breath assert that I'm OK; there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. Why dwell on what could be different or how things would be "if only"? As the saying goes. just be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
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Old 03-14-2011, 03:31 PM   #13
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The picture in your profile looks pretty hot to me
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Old 03-14-2011, 06:42 PM   #14
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The picture in your profile looks pretty hot to me
I concur...Lala you are foxy!!
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:41 AM   #15
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There are guys out there that appreciate women of all sizes and shapes. I'm one of them (scary, heh). Personally, I think it's kind of sad that terms like BBW and FA have become so pigeon-holing for so many. It's not that you don't fit THE hole...in reality, as with most pigeon-holing stereotypes, there is no one standard hole.

LaLa, from our past sparing in HP, it's clear you are intelligent, from your profile pick it's easy to tell that you're more than pleasing to the eye. Just be yourself. It's just a matter of time.
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Old 03-15-2011, 04:13 AM   #16
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I don't think you should have anything to worry about. Lots of men might consider that ideal. I personally am open to a lot of sizes, but shape is a lot more important. I'll echo the sentiment about your profile pic too.
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Old 03-15-2011, 06:10 AM   #17
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You sound sexy to me. Hourglass figure is AWESOME. How about a picture to give us a better idea?
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Old 03-15-2011, 07:24 AM   #18
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You sound sexy to me. Hourglass figure is AWESOME. How about a picture to give us a better idea?
Dude, she's a dead ringer for Charlie Sheen. What else do you need?
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Old 03-15-2011, 09:28 AM   #19
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Default Opposite prejudices...

One thing that bothers me about the size acceptance movement... and that seems like an odd thing to say... but it is that it seems like the idea of being smaller is sometimes not acceptable.

I think you should be happy where you are. That does not mean that we do not strive to improve, but rather that we are loving and accepting of ourselves as we are at the moment.

Okay, there is one other thing that bothers me and I know I am taking this post off topic, but the feeder/feedee thing concerns me.

Just as I don't think a woman should have to lose weight to be attractive to a man, I don't think she should have to gain weight to be attractive.

And although I think that the health risks of being (dare I say it?) fat are over-stated, they are definitely there.

So it sort of worries me that size acceptance and the feeder/feedee thing are lumped together since the former seems like a good thing and the latter seems like it could potentially be an abusive situation (and, yes, I realize that does not mean it is in all cases).

Any thoughts?

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Old 03-15-2011, 12:35 PM   #20
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Dude, she's a dead ringer for Charlie Sheen. What else do you need?
Heh...well, I guess I sort of invited a call for pics since I basically asked "do you find me attractive?"

Here's a couple of (blurry) body shots that aren't salacious, so I don't think I'm exploiting myself (lol).

And, folks, I'm not claiming to be the second-coming of Jayne Mansfield, or anything, when I describe my shape as "hourglass." That's just what I'm working with, broadly-speaking, but it ain't anything spectacular.

Anyway, here's what I look like -- I don't think I've ever shown a pic of anything but my face before here, but I'm feeling less self-conscious than I used to, so here goes...

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Old 03-15-2011, 12:42 PM   #21
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Lara, you know I think you're beautiful in every way and if I were a boy or bi and lived in Cali, you would SO be mine. (Of course Frank would weasel his way into it somehow LMAO)
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:49 PM   #22
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Charlie looks better in a dress.

But only a LITTLE bit.

You're gorgeous, Falalalacity. Although I'm not going to mention if you're a worthwhile specimen until you post nekkid pics or f'christsake at least a nubile pose in yer unmentionables.
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:50 PM   #23
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I think the word is 'hoonders'...you got any of them you can pose in?
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Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:55 PM   #24
TraciJo67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I think the word is 'hoonders'...you got any of them you can pose in?
Is that what the kids are calling 'em these days?

I don't post pics, far less nekkid pics, cuz I'm really above that sort of tawdry thing (in other words, ain't nobody wants to see this twitchy, lumpy mess) but that doesn't stop me from screeching 'chicken' at falalala for not IMMEDIATELY or SOONER responding to random anonymous guy's mildly inappropriate request for pics with something that stops juuuuuuuuuust shy of flashing pink.
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Old 03-15-2011, 01:01 PM   #25
CastingPearls
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According to this guy, you could actually SAVE THE WORLD by following TJ's advice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbihpBjckvk



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Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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