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Old 03-22-2011, 04:13 PM   #1
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Default Un-Friending Feedees

I just read a minor rant on another website, this one for Feedees. The rant was initiated by the fact that the writer was "unfriended" on Facebook by a woman who is very well thought of in NAAFA and generally in the Size Acceptance community. You may rightfully ask what was the reason behind the "unfriending"?

The ranter admitted to being a feedee.

That got me thinking, which is almost never a good thing. And I would like to get some feedback from a group of people whose opinions I generally trust (yeah, that would be y'all) before I launch my own rant.

Does the established hierarchy of the SA movement, or at least many of them, really hate feedees? If so, why do they? Is it because if someone intentionally gains weight that it removes the idea that obesity is not something that can be controlled? Is there some importance to maintaining a victim's status when working toward the acceptance of fat people? Or is it just because feedees are the enablers of the widely-hated feeders? Or more likely, is it something I have completely failed to consider?

I post this inquiry here in this forum and the Weight Board forum because I expect that this is where most of the people who see it will understand my very real confusion in this matter, and not immediately jump to telling me that all of my paranoid conclusions are bombastically wrong. I'd rather hear from people who have experienced this same form of odd prejudice.

Thanks y'all.
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:19 PM   #2
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If the size acceptance establishment thinks feeders and feedees are low class....then here's my response to that:

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Old 04-11-2011, 05:43 PM   #3
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Default seriously?

They can kiss my fat, CLASSY, feedee ass!
What gives them the right to pass judgement on other people's lifestyles?! Personally, I'd say being the kind of person to look down on me for how I live is VERY low class.
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Old 04-11-2011, 06:30 PM   #4
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I could think of numerous things that cause hostility like this...the idea that they harm the SA movement by indulging in the very stereotypes they want to see go away, that fat women feel feedees help encourage bad FA behavior, simple horror that someone would CHOOSE to be fatter maybe? Who knows.
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Old 04-11-2011, 06:40 PM   #5
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Could it have anything to do with how size acceptance is supposed to be about accepting one's size, so if dieting is 'bad' (too fat), couldn't the flip-side of 'gaining' (too small) be equally unacceptable?

Fucking politics. I hate them.
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Old 04-11-2011, 07:12 PM   #6
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But one can make too much of such things. One person unfriends someone. Perhaps you can conclude that the one woman has issues with feeding. Beyond that? i wouldn't be jumping to conclusions.

She may simply be a colossal a-hole.
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Old 04-12-2011, 12:22 AM   #7
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I don't think prejudice against feedees is very prominent in the SA community. If you look at the number of people viewing the plus size paysite board versus any other at any given time and consider how many are feedees and/or gaining I think it suggests the haters are a minority. I don't know the parties involved in the situation the OP descibed but maybe the original ranter had a falling out other than what they described with the person. Maybe that individual who un-friended them is just an asshole. Maybe they're cutting their friend list in general. It's not worth ranting about in any case and certainly doesn't represent any widespread prejudice I've ever witnessed here. But wave the finger at the haters, wherever they are, none the less.
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Old 04-12-2011, 02:24 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Oirish View Post
I don't think prejudice against feedees is very prominent in the SA community. If you look at the number of people viewing the plus size paysite board versus any other at any given time and consider how many are feedees and/or gaining I think it suggests the haters are a minority. I don't know the parties involved in the situation the OP descibed but maybe the original ranter had a falling out other than what they described with the person. Maybe that individual who un-friended them is just an asshole. Maybe they're cutting their friend list in general. It's not worth ranting about in any case and certainly doesn't represent any widespread prejudice I've ever witnessed here. But wave the finger at the haters, wherever they are, none the less.
I don't think you can judge from the people on FF. Go to a size accept site and mention feederism and see what happens!
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Old 04-12-2011, 06:27 PM   #9
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I find it interesting to note the differences in the replies I received here and on the Weight Board. I'm sure it means something important.

Thanks Y'all!
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:40 PM   #10
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You know the Good Fat People vs. Bad Fat People argument?

I have begun to feel like the SA movement is becoming a platform for "Good Fat People."

Good Fat People do what's perceived to be healthy, even when it's not, in hopes of acceptance. It seems that when a fat person makes actual healthy choices for their personal betterment, they don't generally acquire the Good-Fat-Person-Better-Than-You mentality.

So, what irks me is when Better-Than-You Good Fat People perpetuate hatred toward the so-called Bad Fat People. Bad Fat People are the sort of people who just kinda live their lives, you know? If society likes it, cool. If not, fuck 'em. And then, there are some Reeeeaaallly Bad Fat People. And those people have the audacity to occasionally fit a fat stereotype (i.e., eating large quantities of food). It is imperative to some Good Fat People to be sure that there is a great social distance between themselves and the Bad Fat People, lest they be socially lumped in as "just as bad as" the Bad Fat People.

Feedeeism is a huge affront to the efforts of Good Fat People who are literally devoting their lives to being "just like" their thin-perfect counterparts. Its like the equivalent of eating a loaf of French Bread in front of someone who's been on Atkins for weeks.
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:16 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velia View Post
You know the Good Fat People vs. Bad Fat People argument?

I have begun to feel like the SA movement is becoming a platform for "Good Fat People."

Good Fat People do what's perceived to be healthy, even when it's not, in hopes of acceptance. It seems that when a fat person makes actual healthy choices for their personal betterment, they don't generally acquire the Good-Fat-Person-Better-Than-You mentality.

So, what irks me is when Better-Than-You Good Fat People perpetuate hatred toward the so-called Bad Fat People. Bad Fat People are the sort of people who just kinda live their lives, you know? If society likes it, cool. If not, fuck 'em. And then, there are some Reeeeaaallly Bad Fat People. And those people have the audacity to occasionally fit a fat stereotype (i.e., eating large quantities of food). It is imperative to some Good Fat People to be sure that there is a great social distance between themselves and the Bad Fat People, lest they be socially lumped in as "just as bad as" the Bad Fat People.

Feedeeism is a huge affront to the efforts of Good Fat People who are literally devoting their lives to being "just like" their thin-perfect counterparts. Its like the equivalent of eating a loaf of French Bread in front of someone who's been on Atkins for weeks.
Those "good fat people" also have skeletons in their closets and their shit stinks as well.

No such thing as a "good fatty" and "bad fatty". Only good or bad people in general.
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:35 AM   #12
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No such thing as a "good fatty" and "bad fatty"..
I'm been a bad, bad fatty! hehehe nomnomnomnom
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Old 04-13-2011, 05:17 PM   #13
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My main issue is every couple of months, my whole friends list keeps getting deleted, i have changed emails and accounts but it keeps happening, it even happened to 3 other people who also use my computer, it could have been an accident, trust me if you get deleted or blocked it was not done intentionally, but hey this is just myself im talking about, i cant really speak for others. I am who I am. I like walking for hours and lifting weights. But on the same end I love eating a lot and really enjoying my food. I believe if food was not meant to taste so good, then we would all be skinny. I love my gain, albeit its a strange one. I can go month's without gaining weight and then all of a sudden I put on a good 20-30 pounds. This is without changing my eating habits, ask those who know me, I eat a lot and I enjoy doing it. This is just my opinion though and please don't shoot me for it. If you are any size and the thought of gaining weight bothers you even if it is someone else, then you shouldn't be fat in the first place. There are plenty of people at an size even extremely heavy that are healthy, the same goes to people who are unhealthy and are thin. It goes to show you that there is prejudice among any group of people even if you have many things in common including weight. If everyone was the same, then we would not have wonderful forums like this where we could express ourselves and gain insight into the thoughts of others.
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Old 04-16-2011, 10:56 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
Those "good fat people" also have skeletons in their closets and their shit stinks as well.

No such thing as a "good fatty" and "bad fatty". Only good or bad people in general.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I just know that there are social stigmas (stigma? How do you pluralize that?) being perpetuated by some people in the SA community, and it pisses me off that they would throw a fellow fatty under the bus for any reason. Division sure as hell isn't going to earn any of us social acceptance.
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Old 04-16-2011, 03:41 PM   #15
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I'm been a bad, bad fatty! hehehe nomnomnomnom
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Old 04-17-2011, 11:39 AM   #16
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I wholeheartedly agree with you. I just know that there are social stigmas (stigma? How do you pluralize that?) being perpetuated by some people in the SA community, and it pisses me off that they would throw a fellow fatty under the bus for any reason. Division sure as hell isn't going to earn any of us social acceptance.
Like I said, those are the types of people with skeletons in their closets and a lifetime of bad memories.

They can claim they're better than people because nobody can see them in real life. I'm sure if we had half the chance to see them every day, I'm sure we'd find something to break their ego's down bit by bit.
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