Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Main Dimensions Board



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-14-2006, 02:50 PM   #26
TheSadeianLinguist
Coin-Operated
 
TheSadeianLinguist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Planet of the Mad Robots
Posts: 5,364
TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

If it gives them hope, terrific. I think the more intently focused you are on EXACTLY what your future should be, the less happy you're going to be. Human beings are not facts and figures. They're individuals.

This is where it gets tricky for me to express myself. I don't think it's worth studying how many women approaching middle age get married. What's interesting to me is why more of these women are getting married. Have the values and opinions of college-educated 35 y/o's shifted that much since 1986? That's a phenomenol change in only twenty years. Not saying it's good or bad. Just saying that in and of itself, the article answers no questions that interest me. And if it's boring me, then it must be of the devil.
__________________
The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED.
TheSadeianLinguist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2006, 03:13 PM   #27
rainyday
Departed
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,892
rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.rainyday has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadeianLinguist
This is where it gets tricky for me to express myself. I don't think it's worth studying how many women approaching middle age get married. What's interesting to me is why more of these women are getting married. Have the values and opinions of college-educated 35 y/o's shifted that much since 1986? That's a phenomenol change in only twenty years.
I agree. That makes for an interesting question. I know several women my age who planned to never marry, yet now they are, and with kids they never thought they'd want either.
rainyday is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-2006, 03:20 PM   #28
GeorgeNL
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 893
GeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot pics
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday
I agree. That makes for an interesting question. I know several women my age who planned to never marry, yet now they are, and with kids they never thought they'd want either.
Same is happening on this side of the ocean. But I think it has a lot to do with education. My parents rented their first house and had their first job when they were around the age of 18. My friends and me were around 25 before we started with our first job, and before we exchanged our studyroom for an apartment or house is again five years later. Actually your whole life seems to start later.

I don't think it is only for women to worry about staying alone. Many men do (like me) feel an emptyness inside when we have no one in our lives. I know, rationally that does not make sense. But I think nature has build that into almost each and everyone of us. And while we can life happily alone, that desire is always there.
GeorgeNL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 07:13 AM   #29
LoveBHMS
default title
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,087
LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default First of all, those statistics were found to be flawed.

for a number of reasons.

If you read the old Susan Faludi book about "The Undeclared War Against American Women" this was pointed out in detail, largely that non-college educated women from lower socio-economic backgrounds tended to marry out of high school, while college educated women or women who pursued higher education married later.

As far as men vs. women marrying, one thing I have always found interesting is that sometimes never married men are viewed more negatively b/c it is assumed that they could marry if they wanted to and if they don't want to it's a sign of immaturity. An older single woman is just to be pitied, because after all, she probably wanted a husband but couldn't find one. An older single man is presumed to not have wanted a wife, and therefore is immature, a swinge, incapable of commitment, etc.

Another issue that many social scientists have pointed out is that many women are actually interested in marriage/children, but that men are often not. It's not a matter of women tossing aside the notion and saying "I don't need a man! I'm off to my career and a turkey baster!" Rather there are many men who will actually criticize or fear women who are open about wanting husbands [and i don't mean the type who talk about china patterns on first dates, just those that say "yes, I would like a husband"] I've heard a lot of men use it as a knock on women if "you can tell she's just desperate to get married" or "she was too aggressive about wanting a commitment." Not to mention that many men are willing to overlook a woman's desire or need to be coupled and continue to date her or live with her without any intention to commit.

I know a guy who has shacked up with a woman for something like five years and will almost brag that she's 'holding out hope' of him making a commitment, but says he has no intention of marrying her. So rather than be a man and tell her the truth, he just stays around wasting her time and allowing her to 'hope.' Probably the man in my life I've had the most respect for was one who said to me "I know what I am looking for in a wife and it's not you. There is nothing wrong with you, but i want a woman who will be a full time wife and mother and that's not what you want. So if you want to keep seeing each other or being friends, you just need to know that." he found the right woman, they are married with four kids and he and i are still friends, solely because he had the spine and the courage and the class to be honest.
LoveBHMS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 07:57 AM   #30
Slowfuse
 
Slowfuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Albany,GA
Posts: 97
Slowfuse can now change their title
Default marriage

I was foolish enough to try the social indenture known as marriage. And while I am still fullfilling my contractual obligations to the holder of my indenture, I am treated shabbily. My opinion, do not assume that Marriage = Happiness. But in 10 years my Daughter will graduate, and I will be free to find someone who loves ME. of course, i'll be too old to do anything but hold them.... But am I bitter? Noooooooooooooooooo.............
Slowfuse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 08:24 AM   #31
Ho Ho Tai
 
Ho Ho Tai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: 'way up north
Posts: 1,940
Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default Statistics and aggregates.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TallFatSue
Statistics are well and good in the aggregate, but I've never been much interested in marrying an aggregate. What really matters is what works for each of us as individuals. The only marriage stat that really concerned me was our 24th anniversary, with our silver anniversary coming up next year.
Sue - I quite agree with your comments about statistics and aggregates. I circumvented the problem: this old nerd engineer married a degreed statistician! We recently celebrated 16 years of marriage, and 25 years of partnership and friendship. When we married, she was 30 and I was 50 y.o.

Today, even as we speak, I enter my 70th year. Everytime I (and we) think that we couldn't be happier, somehow we notch it up a peg.

Statistics? Now what's the odds on that?
__________________
Ho Ho Tai


"The greatest wisdom: Love and Laughter, Inter-twined."
Ho Ho Tai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 11:15 AM   #32
RedHotAva
 
RedHotAva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sunny South Florida
Posts: 280
RedHotAva can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesRedHotAva can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

When I first started reading the original thread here, I was going to post something like SOMEONE MARRY ME! But then after reading all of the replies, I realize that I am just fine being single, and I would rather wait forever than marry the wrong guy. I have always felt that way, but these stupid studies, articles, etc. always get me so damned nervous.
RedHotAva is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2006, 12:48 PM   #33
GeorgeNL
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 893
GeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot pics
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS
As far as men vs. women marrying, one thing I have always found interesting is that sometimes never married men are viewed more negatively b/c it is assumed that they could marry if they wanted to and if they don't want to it's a sign of immaturity. An older single woman is just to be pitied, because after all, she probably wanted a husband but couldn't find one. An older single man is presumed to not have wanted a wife, and therefore is immature, a swinge, incapable of commitment, etc.
That is certainly true! When I am amongst my nerdy collegues and friends, it is normal to be single, the fast majority of us are. But outside that realm, yes most people react as if something is wrong with me. They don't know that for an engineer it is exceptional to find a woman.
GeorgeNL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 07:12 AM   #34
moonvine
Queen of Contempt
 
moonvine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 3,152
moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!moonvine has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS
I know a guy who has shacked up with a woman for something like five years and will almost brag that she's 'holding out hope' of him making a commitment, but says he has no intention of marrying her.
IMHO this is one of very many excellent reasons to not "shack up" at all.
__________________
Adoption is a cool way to make your family bigger.
moonvine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 07:18 AM   #35
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I'd say it was more a reason to lose (or not pick) jerks like that guy.
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 09:04 AM   #36
Dibaby35
Chicken n' Dumplings
 
Dibaby35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 561
Dibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

Sam...just had to say...thats a great life story you have and so inspiring. Thanks for sharing <3
Dibaby35 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2006, 05:01 AM   #37
TallFatSue
On Timeout
 
TallFatSue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 1,675
TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ho Ho Tai
Sue - I quite agree with your comments about statistics and aggregates. I circumvented the problem: this old nerd engineer married a degreed statistician! We recently celebrated 16 years of marriage, and 25 years of partnership and friendship. When we married, she was 30 and I was 50 y.o.

Today, even as we speak, I enter my 70th year. Everytime I (and we) think that we couldn't be happier, somehow we notch it up a peg.

Statistics? Now what's the odds on that?
Works for us! I'm an accountant happily married to a nerdy engineer, looking forward to our silver anniversary next year. Although I married a younger man: I was 25 and he was 23. When we first met 5 years earlier, I got flak from my friends for "robbing the cradle" and he got flak from his friends for dating "that fat girl". But we recognized the truly important things in life.

Just gotta ask, though: you've just entered your 70th year (which means you're 69). If you were married as a 50 y.o., and recently celebrated 16 years of marriage, that's only 66! So what happened to those 3 "lost years"?
TallFatSue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2006, 11:16 AM   #38
Ho Ho Tai
 
Ho Ho Tai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: 'way up north
Posts: 1,940
Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TallFatSue
Works for us! I'm an accountant happily married to a nerdy engineer, looking forward to our silver anniversary next year. Although I married a younger man: I was 25 and he was 23. When we first met 5 years earlier, I got flak from my friends for "robbing the cradle" and he got flak from his friends for dating "that fat girl". But we recognized the truly important things in life.

Just gotta ask, though: you've just entered your 70th year (which means you're 69). If you were married as a 50 y.o., and recently celebrated 16 years of marriage, that's only 66! So what happened to those 3 "lost years"?

Well, first of all, Sue - congrats on the silver. We hope to make it too - it's only another 8 1/2 years away. I'll be 77 by then, but - hey! - my dad made it to 99. I have another goal: to make it one second longer (at least) than my first marriage of 29+ years.

I admit that my math could use a bit of work. But I wasn't really an engineer, although I played one most of my life. I was a Physics & Math double major. Pretty good at math, but mediocre at arithmetic. And I don't remember your question being on the GRE - it would have been too hard for me.

There's an old joke with substantial basis in fact: "Know how to tell the difference between someone who went to Harvard and someone who went to MIT? The MIT grads can't spell and the Harvard grads can't count!"

But since you seem to be giving me a second chance, I'll try to fix the numbers. The current Mrs. Ho Ho and I first met in Jan. 1980 when she interviewed for a position in our group. We worked together as co-workers and partners until I left the company in 1986. We stayed friends after I left. I took another position in Massachusetts in late 1987. About a year later, Mrs Ho Ho (not her 'title' then) came to visit me, along with another old friend.

During that visit, something happened. Nothing overt - just a change in the air, like that first scent of spring after a long winter. We were both aware of it, though we didn't know it quite yet. A week after she returned home, I realized that I was falling in love - an odd and uncomfortable experience, since the incest taboos which sometimes adhere to people in close working conditions were still clinging to us. I resolved to call her and warn her of this awkward turn of events. I fully expected that she would never want to see me again!

I steeled myself to make that fateful call. On the chosen day, November 25, 1988, I received a letter from her - shy, tentative, filled with the fear of rejection, but expressing pretty much the same experience and feelings that I had experienced.

Well, I couldn't get to the phone fast enough . . .

I'll skip a bit of history here and pick up the story by saying that we were married on May 25, 1990. For many reasons, the stars should have been against it, but somehow, they shone brightly and have continued to do so.

We celebrate both dates, exactly 1 year and 6 months apart. November 25 is the more important to us because that is our day of commitment. (Commitment is such a ponderous word. We didn't commit to anything. We were just two people who suddenly became 'us'.) On May 25, 1990, the judge gave us a piece of paper which made it all legal, but that morning, before the ceremony, we went very early to a local park. There is a Japanese Peace Garden with a zig-zag bridge. The legend is that, in crossing the bridge, the evil spirits get confused by the zig-zag and so are left behind. We exchanged rings made of yarn, grass and flowers and were just as married at that point as if we had been standing before the Throne of God. (Well, perhaps we were.)

Anyway, that's the story. You're right about my age. I completed 69 full years on Oct. 1 and am now in my 70th year. The rest of the math - well, you can do that. I don't think that there are any years missing - we lived every one of them.

I'll leave you with a fragment of an old song. "What will you do with the hours of your life? Love 'til you've loved them away - love 'til you've loved them away."
__________________
Ho Ho Tai


"The greatest wisdom: Love and Laughter, Inter-twined."
Ho Ho Tai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2006, 12:02 PM   #39
saucywench
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

This story always makes me both wistful and hopeful each time I hear it, Ho Ho. There's something particularly poignant about it that speaks to me in ways that more conventional love stories don't. I just know that, if an older man such as yourself were to enter my life, I wouldn't hesitate to make a similar commitment. I doubt I could say that about a much younger man, though, but--stranger things have happened.

Congratulations on your good fortune, which I hope carries you through the rest of your days.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2006, 12:27 PM   #40
TallFatSue
On Timeout
 
TallFatSue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 1,675
TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ho Ho Tai
Well, first of all, Sue - congrats on the silver. We hope to make it too - it's only another 8 1/2 years away.
That's a pretty neat story, Ho Ho. Art & I have every intention of reaching our 50th anniversary too. A couple years ago my distant cousin Bill went through a nasty 3rd divorce, and Art & I agreed that our best case scenario is that we'll be in love forever, and our worst case scenario is we "could never break in another spouse, so we're in this for keeps."

In retrospect, I don't remember Art & me ever making formal committments to each other, except of course at the actual wedding. He never got down on one knee and proposed, nor serenaded me with a ukulele in a canoe etc. We just kinda sorta evolved into thinking that being married to each other is the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was the first time he gave me a full body massage, and I said there's no way he's getting away now!

We didn't want a particularly big wedding, but my mother sure did, and we let her have her way. It was fun to hear her brag, "I always knew Sue would marry her Mr. Right!" Um, Mom? Didn't you always say I was wayyyy too fat ever to find a good husband? Oh, right, that selective memory thing.
TallFatSue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2006, 01:37 PM   #41
GeorgeNL
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 893
GeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot picsGeorgeNL does more than just post hot pics
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TallFatSue
In retrospect, I don't remember Art & me ever making formal committments to each other, except of course at the actual wedding. He never got down on one knee and proposed, nor serenaded me with a ukulele in a canoe etc.
Being a nerdy engineer myself, I recognize that so very well. I think the good side of us nerds is that we're patient, creative, seldom angry and most of us are very huggable. But the weak site is, many of us are a bit insecure, shy even and when it come to romance, I think you as a woman have to take the initiative.

But I'm happy to see that women like you exist Sue! We nerds need a hug too.

Last edited by GeorgeNL; 10-06-2006 at 01:40 PM.
GeorgeNL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2006, 08:07 AM   #42
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I just now stumbled upon this thread, 2 minutes after the OP informed me in private that I am a "bitter, middle-aged fat woman like the rest who come here".I have a feeling he is wants to send a 'message' to all us single gals,or women who just choose not to have a piece of paper heralding their relationship with another human being.
mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2006, 08:18 AM   #43
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Report it to the Mods with a copy of that private message. Seeing as the OP was just allowed back in - such behavior is probably... unwise. Though not at all surprising.
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2006, 08:28 AM   #44
Jane
Photo (c) Fatlane
 
Jane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Tangled up in Blue
Posts: 4,674
Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!Jane keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

One night, at my house, there gathered up a group of men, and ME the lone female. We had been drinking a little beer when one of the men turned to me and said, "I can't believe you've never married. Why not?"

I said, "Well, it could be that I've never met the right man or it could be that the right man just never asked me...but really, it's just that all of you are married and you're at my house. That says a lot about your marriages."

No one in that bunch ever asked me again.
__________________
"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." ~ Edward R. Murrow
Jane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2006, 09:37 AM   #45
Ho Ho Tai
 
Ho Ho Tai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: 'way up north
Posts: 1,940
Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default Saucywench - (bet that's short for 'TabascoSaucywench). . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench
This story always makes me both wistful and hopeful each time I hear it, Ho Ho. There's something particularly poignant about it that speaks to me in ways that more conventional love stories don't. I just know that, if an older man such as yourself were to enter my life, I wouldn't hesitate to make a similar commitment. I doubt I could say that about a much younger man, though, but--stranger things have happened.

Congratulations on your good fortune, which I hope carries you through the rest of your days.
You know how it is with us Old Folks. As our memories begin to fail, we still remember our old stories - we just forget who we have told them to, and how many times. After a while, the stories fade too, with only the most important still held close in mind and heart.

The story that you just read is my story, one of the few remaining, and by far the most important. So when you read it over and over again, just smile, roll your eyes, and say - to quote Ronald Reagan - "There he goes again."

Glad you enjoyed it, though.

We live in a townhouse, part of an association. There are many here who are older than I am, by a decade or more, and many stories of old love - couples who have been married 60 years or more, and still happy. Widows and widowers who still lead active lives, but in two worlds, the present and the past. They, too, love to share the stories of their lives together and, listening to them, sometimes I feel like I'm in life college, taking Relationships 101.

Whenever I feel like I have learned something about life and love, through my own experiences, I go and talk to one of them. And then I realize that we are just starting on our way.
__________________
Ho Ho Tai


"The greatest wisdom: Love and Laughter, Inter-twined."
Ho Ho Tai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2006, 09:47 AM   #46
Ho Ho Tai
 
Ho Ho Tai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: 'way up north
Posts: 1,940
Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!Ho Ho Tai keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TallFatSue
Art & I agreed that our best case scenario is that we'll be in love forever, and our worst case scenario is we "could never break in another spouse, so we're in this for keeps."

In retrospect, I don't remember Art & me ever making formal committments to each other, except of course at the actual wedding. He never got down on one knee and proposed, nor serenaded me with a ukulele in a canoe etc. We just kinda sorta evolved into thinking that being married to each other is the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was the first time he gave me a full body massage, and I said there's no way he's getting away now!
TFSue -

Mrs Ho Ho and I both agree on your best and worst scenarios.

We have a similar story about non-proposals. It seems that, one night when Mrs Ho Ho and I were courting by phone (still living in different states), I was sharing some poetic quote with her and said something like "Wouldn't it be neat to include that in our marriage vows?" History has it that there was a brief silence on her end before agreeing that it would indeed fit into our vows very nicely.

This was not a pre-meditated subterfuge on my part - my heart (and mouth) just running ahead of my mind. Something deep inside had it all worked out, and I had everything but the girl. But from that moment, I had her too (still do, and v.v.)

You used the word 'smitten'. My mother-in-law (who has yet to really figure us out) calls me 'besotted'. Well, I guess I am.
__________________
Ho Ho Tai


"The greatest wisdom: Love and Laughter, Inter-twined."
Ho Ho Tai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2006, 06:46 PM   #47
TallFatSue
On Timeout
 
TallFatSue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 1,675
TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!TallFatSue has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeNL
Being a nerdy engineer myself, I recognize that so very well. I think the good side of us nerds is that we're patient, creative, seldom angry and most of us are very huggable. But the weak site is, many of us are a bit insecure, shy even and when it come to romance, I think you as a woman have to take the initiative.

But I'm happy to see that women like you exist Sue! We nerds need a hug too.
In retrospect, if Mr. Right hadn't practically fallen into my lap, who knows if I would have ever married? I sure didn't need a man to make my life complete, but there he was, and I had the sense to recognize he was indeed my soulmate. I also had the good sense (when he kept turning up to tell me his latest fat jokes) to brazenly kick him in the ass and triple-dare him to take me on a date and treat me like a lady. Now what do I have to show for it? 24 years of happy marriage, that's what. Although I'm deleriously happy as a married woman, I'd probably be just as happy as a single woman. On the other hand, my life probably wouldn't have taken so many happily bizarre twists and turns. Art & I went into this marriage with our eyes wide open, and our hearts followed.

Thank goodness Art has improved his approach to romance, but in retrospect he had nowhere to go but up. I remember when I was 20 and he was 18, I expressed a concern about being slightly older. He said it was perfect, because woman live slightly longer than men, so we'd probably die about the same time. After I spit my Pepsi all over him, he relaized that perhaps he should have phrased it differently. And during our legendary first date, I was so nervous I had the hiccups half the evening, and Art was transfixed watching my sizeable breasts bounce every 5 seconds. That's when he said that life would never be dull with me around, which wasn't the most romantic utterance, but I chose to interpret that he envisioned a good long compatible future together. However one side effect is that to this day, whenever I get the hiccups, Art wants to jump into the sack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane
One night, at my house, there gathered up a group of men, and ME the lone female. We had been drinking a little beer when one of the men turned to me and said, "I can't believe you've never married. Why not?"

I said, "Well, it could be that I've never met the right man or it could be that the right man just never asked me...but really, it's just that all of you are married and you're at my house. That says a lot about your marriages."

No one in that bunch ever asked me again.
I overheard a similar conversation at a family reunion, when one of my female cousins was asked why she never married. However the pi&#232;ce de r&#233;sistance was when one of my more ignorant male cousins put his foot in his mouth: "If Sue can get married, surely you can get married." I was within earshot, and before I threw a lamp at his head, I said, "You have 60 seconds to explain yourself." Not that he had the most stellar marriage himself. He stammered and stuttered until one of my other cousins said, "What's the matter, Wally? Crap in your pants? Oh, on you it looks good."

Too many people marry for the wrong reasons. Maybe they're pressured into it, or maybe some women just want to have a wedding that will be the envy of the city (but forgetting that, oh yeah, the groom comes home with me now). My distant cousin Bill is a prime example of a man who didn't care what a woman was really like, as long as she was *hot*. At our wedding, Bill congratulated my new husband Art on the whale he had just landed. Bill has yet to learn his lesson. "Gee, Bill, if it's your 3rd nasty divorce, maybe the problem is *you*!"

Anyway I think the key to a good long healthy marriage, at least in my case, is to marry your best friend. A torrid romance is well and good, but deep abiding affection lasts and lasts.
TallFatSue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2006, 12:17 AM   #48
Friday
Not fap material. Bye!
 
Friday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,767
Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!Friday keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I find it odd that Grey concerns himself with the marital status of women here (or anywhere) since he claims to be happily married.

Don't give up on the younger ones Saucy. A 29 yo man followed a 35 yo me home nearly 15 years ago. I thought he was nuts but our 14th wedding anniversary was last month.
Friday is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2006, 03:27 AM   #49
LoveBHMS
default title
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,087
LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default You should put some stock in that insult

Quote:
Originally Posted by mossystate
I just now stumbled upon this thread, 2 minutes after the OP informed me in private that I am a "bitter, middle-aged fat woman like the rest who come here".I have a feeling he is wants to send a 'message' to all us single gals,or women who just choose not to have a piece of paper heralding their relationship with another human being.

After all, it's pretty clever.

And if you discount the fact that reading this thread indicates that TallFatSue is married, TheSadienLinguist is 21 and at least half the people that post here are men, it would even be "accurate" [snark]
LoveBHMS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2006, 05:54 AM   #50
TheSadeianLinguist
Coin-Operated
 
TheSadeianLinguist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Planet of the Mad Robots
Posts: 5,364
TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!TheSadeianLinguist keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mossystate
I just now stumbled upon this thread, 2 minutes after the OP informed me in private that I am a "bitter, middle-aged fat woman like the rest who come here".I have a feeling he is wants to send a 'message' to all us single gals,or women who just choose not to have a piece of paper heralding their relationship with another human being.
You say "bitter, middle-aged fat woman" like it's a bad thing.
__________________
The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED.
TheSadeianLinguist is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.