Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BBW Forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-09-2011, 04:54 PM   #26
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

There's nothing scarier when a professional trained to treat people project their own biased opinions on their patients/clients, piggybacking it as part of therapy. That's an abuse of power.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2011, 05:01 PM   #27
anneblithe
 
anneblithe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 45
anneblithe can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesanneblithe can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

I've never had anyone accuse me of being picky, but when some guy who has hit on every girl at whatever workplace I happen to be supporting with my time came around and hit on me, the response was never, "what a sleazebag," which would have been pretty appropriate. It was always, "Well, I dunno. Why don't you go out with him?" (smile, shrug). The underlying message is always that he's not good enough for the single, pretty, thin-chick, but I ought to be glad that someone took an interest in me.

But I can't blame the skinny-chicks who have reacted this way entirely. They've been taught to hate any part of their body that jiggles-- that their bmi means more than their iq or eq. My acceptance of myself and belief (and knowledge) that there are perfectly nice, rational guys out there who have dated me, and who will date me flies against everything they've been taught to value about themselves. Self-acceptance is a problem for women of all sizes, imho, and it manifests itself in the way that women treat others who they perceive as being socially abnormal.
anneblithe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2011, 09:05 PM   #28
JulieD
 
JulieD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 731
JulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions communityJulieD is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau View Post
OMG do you know who I want to stab in the eye with a rusty spoon - people who say things like: Well no wander you're single - you keep going after men who are out of your league. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN OUT OF MY LEAGUE MOTHERFUCKER??!! NOFUCKING HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET IS OUT OF MY FUCKING LEAGUE!!!! AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!
A friend's therapist said this to her...her THERAPIST!! I just - I honestly just don't know.
thats when you gracefully stand up, brush yourself off, pivot on your hip and say "I make my own league, bitch" and immediately take the longest extreme bad ass strides out of her office (you know the kind, the ones you take in 3 inch heals praying the entire time that you don't twist an ankle)
well, in retrospect, if you had that much confidence in the first place, you probably wouldn't be going to a therapist for relationship advice... and im back to nothing, damn
__________________
FAKE PEOPLE SUCK
JulieD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-2011, 02:44 AM   #29
EMH1701
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: MN
Posts: 1,569
EMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEMH1701 is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

I've had several relationships but I haven't found the right guy yet. I have standards (must have a job and be self-sufficient, must have a vehicle of some sort that works (I'm open-minded about vehicles but I wouldn't want to be the only one with a working car), must have similar religious/political views, and must not want me to starve myself to thinness.

I don't think that those are too high of standards, but some people consider me picky simply because I'm 35 and not married yet. I'd rather be single than married to the wrong guy.
EMH1701 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 05:32 PM   #30
lozonloz
 
lozonloz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Suffolk UK/London
Posts: 270
lozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default

Recently had this conversation with the same friend again, but this time managed to score a point when I asked her to count up who she had slept with and then how many of them she had known as a friend first. Turns out, most of them.

I'm hoping it will prevent her shoehorning men at me when we go out next week.
__________________
Raised by wolves, but fostered by sloths.
lozonloz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 06:21 AM   #31
Puddles
 
Puddles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Urbana, Illinois
Posts: 65
Puddles does more than just post hot picsPuddles does more than just post hot picsPuddles does more than just post hot pics
Default

I get to pick what food I want to eat, what clothes I want to wear, etc....so why can't I PICK or be PICKY about the man I let in my life?

Oh and in regards to "out of your league" I seriously would have had to punch someone in the mouth if they said that to me!
Puddles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 06:52 AM   #32
ObiWantsU
 
ObiWantsU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 69
ObiWantsU can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesObiWantsU can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

Sure, be picky, we all should be very picky with that special someone with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives.

But, and I have a big but here *snicker*, that's not the same standard for a person I would date, and certainly not the same for someone with whom I'd hang out.

I'm sure everyone's saying that in one way or another, but I just wanted say it again.
__________________
OUTATIME
ObiWantsU is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 08:11 AM   #33
luscious_lulu
Boobzilla
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,523
luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!luscious_lulu has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieD View Post
ahem...ladies, we have vaginas...we should be picky...if you are someone who has a vagina and is not picky, hence allowing anything to hump you, you void all rights to cry or whine or bitch about the douche lord men/women you allow to do you...everyone knows that the picky ladies are not the ones crying that they are lonely or feel the need to be with a man to be happy...most picky ladies i know are just content with their pickiness...

and to the unhappy picky ladies... there is no one perfect person, male or female... re-evaluate your picky standards and come to a reasonable acceptance...im just saying give the good guys/gals a break...they will be the ones to love you forever if you do...

and yes, i am picky...
I find this to be very judgmental. Just because someone likes having sex with multiple partners doesn't mean they deserve to be treated poorly or without respect.

Shaming or denouncing someone based on their sexuality is just like shaming someone because they are fat. Why must we constantly find ways to elevate ourselves above others.

*steps off soap box*

To answer the question posed in this thread. I don't consider it being picky, but having standards. I will not be with someone who doesn't show respect & consideration. If the person doesn't have the qualities I value, then I'm not interested. They may be a perfectly good person but if they aren't the right fit for me, why bother?
__________________
I have a dream & in it something eats you.
luscious_lulu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 12:27 PM   #34
bbwgatorgirl
Energizer Bunny ;)
 
bbwgatorgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 26
bbwgatorgirl can now change their title
Default

I'm always told I shouldn't be so picky (by all of my skinny friends) because I'd be lucky to catch a guy who's alright with my size. I tell them they'd be lucky to catch a guy with their attitude.
__________________
Facebook
bbwgatorgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 03:54 PM   #35
Puddles
 
Puddles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Urbana, Illinois
Posts: 65
Puddles does more than just post hot picsPuddles does more than just post hot picsPuddles does more than just post hot pics
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbwgatorgirl View Post
I'm always told I shouldn't be so picky (by all of my skinny friends) because I'd be lucky to catch a guy who's alright with my size. I tell them they'd be lucky to catch a guy with their attitude.
LOVE your response to your friends!
Puddles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2011, 10:54 PM   #36
LovelyLiz
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,247
LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbwgatorgirl View Post
I'm always told I shouldn't be so picky (by all of my skinny friends) because I'd be lucky to catch a guy who's alright with my size. I tell them they'd be lucky to catch a guy with their attitude.
Wow...with "friends" like that...
LovelyLiz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-2011, 09:35 AM   #37
Saoirse
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,099
Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!Saoirse keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by luscious_lulu View Post
I find this to be very judgmental. Just because someone likes having sex with multiple partners doesn't mean they deserve to be treated poorly or without respect.

Shaming or denouncing someone based on their sexuality is just like shaming someone because they are fat. Why must we constantly find ways to elevate ourselves above others.
thank you!
__________________
A match in the rain, a moth to the flame
A pleasure-seeking yahoo with a penchant for pain
A double-decker bus of trouble, I'm in the way
Saoirse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2011, 10:22 PM   #38
prettyeyes77
 
prettyeyes77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Narnia O_O
Posts: 71
prettyeyes77 does more than just post hot picsprettyeyes77 does more than just post hot picsprettyeyes77 does more than just post hot picsprettyeyes77 does more than just post hot pics
Default

I have a bit of a theory on this actually. My skinny best friend and slim sister both seem to have more self esteem and dating issues then I do and I think it’s because I’m big and have been for most of my life that I don’t have their hang ups. These skinny girls kicked my ass in the genetics department and they get to see what it’s like to be accepted for no reason other than they fit in someone’s ideal box, whereas I’ve always been on the outside, I’ve had to earn my acceptance, I have to be funnier, smarter, or just not give a shit to get by (spastically in the teen years). So now that we’re “grownups” They are used to constantly being accepting and it’s become a drug, they have always had it and can’t function when they don’t get it from everyone. Both the girls I’m talking about are really good looking and have decent personalities, and I have seen them both settle for really shitty guys because the guy they wanted didn’t want them… They fall apart, and start trying to figure out why, they get mad and have to prove that they are acceptable/desirable, so they grab the closest loser just to prove to themselves that someone wants them. Then there’s me, a big girl… I have never really had that constant stream of attention and affection from the masses, so I can function without it, and when the guy I want doesn’t want me, I just think, “oh well I guess he’s not the right one… I wander if any good books came out today?” It’s just another day, and I move on, until the next guy who fits my picky, YES PICKY, criteria comes along. I am picky because I am looking for someone specific not just anyone who will take me, and I don’t miss the acceptance I haven’t had so I can hold out… These other girls aren’t picky because anytime some doesn’t accept them it destroys their whole self image and they need an immediate ego fix to feel ok about themselves again.

Please note I am only talking about myself and a some slim women I know, I’m sure this doesn’t apply to everyone, and I mean no offence…
__________________
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
prettyeyes77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2011, 05:28 AM   #39
Tina
Older and wiser now
 
Tina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 15,215
Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

There's nothing offensive about your post at all, IMO, prettyeyes. I think you have a healthy sense of self. And though it's unfortunate that you had to develop the way you look at yourself in relation to the world because of fat prejudice, it did give you something that you can keep with you that as you mention some others do not have.

Fat people have just as much right to pick and choose who they want to have relationships with (love relationships or friendships) as anyone else. There is no reason to settle or think we should lower our standards because of our clothing size.
__________________
"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
Tina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2011, 05:41 AM   #40
cinnamitch
nope
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,004
cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!cinnamitch keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Damn straight I have been picky and have been called picky, and damn straight I am going to continue being picky.
cinnamitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2011, 12:13 PM   #41
NewfieGal
Live laugh love always :)
 
NewfieGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 779
NewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions communityNewfieGal is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Why do people think we (i mean the big side of the population) should settle for less than what we deserve... hell yeah I am picky its my right to be as happy as I can be... so cause I'm fat I should settle for whoever will take me I don't frigging think so not the way I roll... if i have to stay single for the rest of my life I will rather than settle for what less that what makes me completely happy... don't everyone deserve to be happy I don't tell smaller girls to settle for just anyone cause they deserve happiness to... people who aren't big don't always understand that although there is more of me to love I deserve exactly what the next person deserves and while I am not picky in general (like race age size etc) I am not gonna be with some butt munch who thinks I should be grateful they are giving me the time of day I have grown up and learned from my mistakes
NewfieGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 07:48 PM   #42
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i wonder why its considered picky of a woman doesn't want to take just any old thing? i'll give anyone a chance to be wonderful to me but i won't accept anyone who isn't. life is too short.
Yeah we are made to feel like crap because we won't settle for any old thing. We are made to feel this way, especially as women of color. Then when a woman wants to marry a man who is financially stable, some small-minded people wish to call her a 'golddigger'. However, a man is not made to feel like shit if he wants a woman who looks like a perfect 10. I never understood that double standard. Nothing wrong with being picky. It's called having standards and thinking about one's future.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul

Last edited by KittyKitten; 09-01-2011 at 08:17 PM.
KittyKitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 12:38 AM   #43
thatgirl08
KNOW IT ALL
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,916
thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Yeah, my friends think I'm picky, especially my one close friend. Her and I spend a good amount of time talking about dating, guys, sex, relationships, etc. (We have like 8-12 hours a day to kill at work .. it helps pass time.) Despite the fact that we socialize in similar circles (went to the same high school & work at the same place), we're the same age, we are both big girls & we use the same dating sites we have entirely different dating lives. She's never been in a relationship with someone who didn't cheat on her.. she's never dated someone who told her they loved her.. she's never met someone that she didn't have personality clashes and drama with 24/7. Her most recent ex is a heroin addict who she loaned 3 grand to and who cheated on her with two different girls. Her dating life is .. hell.. at least it would be to me. Despite our similar circumstances, I don't have these same experiences. I told her the other day that I've never been broken up with.. and I've told her about how my most recent ex is always trying to date me again.. and shes like OMG why do you always get rid of everyone?! You're too picky! This is why you're single! But .. I passed on second dates (or hell, firsts!), I ended relationships, I refused second chances because I know what I want.. and I know its not ridiculous or impossible to find. Why waste my time with people I'm blatantly not compatible with? I guess I'm the type of person who would genuinely rather be alone forever than settle for someone I don't really like very much. Most of my friends aren't that way at all.. they put up with some seriously ridiculous shit to not be alone. A few weeks ago I was talking to my mom about one of my other friends and her shitty boyfriend and I was like, I don't get it.. like why? I'd rather be alone than with him. And shes like well she doesn't have to be alone anyway there's other people out there.. and I'm like right, but I'm just saying if the only options were single forever or [shitty boyfriend], I'd choose being single. And my moms like well that's not realistic anyway.. she won't be alone.. I wouldn't want to be alone either but that's okay there's a lot of people out there and I'm like OKAY, I know, but if there were only two options: chronically single OR douchebag bf I'd choose single. And she just kept saying the same shit.. like I couldn't even get her to hypothetically agree to being alone. It's so ridiculous to me. I guess I don't feel like I need a man to complete me.. I want someone who is going to compliment me & my life, not make it "whole".. I got that covered by myself.

I think it's really important to be picky about certain things. Looks are transient and I can be easily swayed to fall for someone not conventionally attractive if they fit with me in other ways. I mean, yeah, I have physical preferences... but honestly if I really like someones personality they become more physically appealing to me as well. However, he absolutely needs to be smart, hilarious and stable. Everything else is pretty much negotiable.

EDIT: I know this is all over the place.. so tired, should be sleeping.

Last edited by thatgirl08; 09-02-2011 at 12:44 AM.
thatgirl08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 06:36 AM   #44
olwen
Disco Bear
 
olwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6,966
olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl08 View Post
Yeah, my friends think I'm picky, especially my one close friend. Her and I spend a good amount of time talking about dating, guys, sex, relationships, etc. (We have like 8-12 hours a day to kill at work .. it helps pass time.) Despite the fact that we socialize in similar circles (went to the same high school & work at the same place), we're the same age, we are both big girls & we use the same dating sites we have entirely different dating lives. She's never been in a relationship with someone who didn't cheat on her.. she's never dated someone who told her they loved her.. she's never met someone that she didn't have personality clashes and drama with 24/7. Her most recent ex is a heroin addict who she loaned 3 grand to and who cheated on her with two different girls. Her dating life is .. hell.. at least it would be to me. Despite our similar circumstances, I don't have these same experiences. I told her the other day that I've never been broken up with.. and I've told her about how my most recent ex is always trying to date me again.. and shes like OMG why do you always get rid of everyone?! You're too picky! This is why you're single! But .. I passed on second dates (or hell, firsts!), I ended relationships, I refused second chances because I know what I want.. and I know its not ridiculous or impossible to find. Why waste my time with people I'm blatantly not compatible with? I guess I'm the type of person who would genuinely rather be alone forever than settle for someone I don't really like very much. Most of my friends aren't that way at all.. they put up with some seriously ridiculous shit to not be alone. A few weeks ago I was talking to my mom about one of my other friends and her shitty boyfriend and I was like, I don't get it.. like why? I'd rather be alone than with him. And shes like well she doesn't have to be alone anyway there's other people out there.. and I'm like right, but I'm just saying if the only options were single forever or [shitty boyfriend], I'd choose being single. And my moms like well that's not realistic anyway.. she won't be alone.. I wouldn't want to be alone either but that's okay there's a lot of people out there and I'm like OKAY, I know, but if there were only two options: chronically single OR douchebag bf I'd choose single. And she just kept saying the same shit.. like I couldn't even get her to hypothetically agree to being alone. It's so ridiculous to me. I guess I don't feel like I need a man to complete me.. I want someone who is going to compliment me & my life, not make it "whole".. I got that covered by myself.

I think it's really important to be picky about certain things. Looks are transient and I can be easily swayed to fall for someone not conventionally attractive if they fit with me in other ways. I mean, yeah, I have physical preferences... but honestly if I really like someones personality they become more physically appealing to me as well. However, he absolutely needs to be smart, hilarious and stable. Everything else is pretty much negotiable.

EDIT: I know this is all over the place.. so tired, should be sleeping.
Makes perfect sense to me.
olwen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 07:13 PM   #45
Tania
Disneyland Bobsled Team
 
Tania's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The corner of Small World Mall & Matterhorn Way.
Posts: 1,975
Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I think a majority of the population are happiest in longterm relationships. That said, nobody save the odd masochist is going to be happier in a bad relationship than they'd be as an unattached - and unburdered - person.

Sometimes, though, it takes people a little while to disengage emotionally from the situation and see it for what it really is. Usually, even a creep or a loser has some redeeming qualities. My ex husband was a great pal and a lot of fun before I realized that he was a liar and barely functional 70% of the time. And in some cases, the creep/loser may not actually be a creep or a loser at all. People tend to judge other people's lives because it makes them feel better about themselves, not necessarily because there's any real value in being right. If in fact they ARE right.

Also, a lot of people like to play the "oh, my boyfriend is so awful" sympathy card while they're waiting to hop the next best train, you know? Most people are selfish, which means they'll move on when they're good and ready. Whether or not their sigother deserves to be left or not. :P
__________________
You're such a strange girl
I think you come from another world

~ The Cure

"She will never submit to any thing requiring industry and patience, and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding."
~ Mr. Knightley on Emma, Jane Austen's Emma
Tania is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 08:28 PM   #46
thatgirl08
KNOW IT ALL
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,916
thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tania View Post
I think a majority of the population are happiest in longterm relationships. That said, nobody save the odd masochist is going to be happier in a bad relationship than they'd be as an unattached - and unburdered - person.

Sometimes, though, it takes people a little while to disengage emotionally from the situation and see it for what it really is. Usually, even a creep or a loser has some redeeming qualities. My ex husband was a great pal and a lot of fun before I realized that he was a liar and barely functional 70% of the time. And in some cases, the creep/loser may not actually be a creep or a loser at all. People tend to judge other people's lives because it makes them feel better about themselves, not necessarily because there's any real value in being right. If in fact they ARE right.

Also, a lot of people like to play the "oh, my boyfriend is so awful" sympathy card while they're waiting to hop the next best train, you know? Most people are selfish, which means they'll move on when they're good and ready. Whether or not their sigother deserves to be left or not. :P
Of course people are happier attached than by themselves and of course they'd be happier unattached than in a bad relationship but that doesn't stop people from staying in long term relationships that are bad. Some people are afraid enough of being alone that they will cling to someone - anyone - to avoid it because they have themselves convinced that being with someone (anyone) will make them happier than being by themselves.

Honestly, I think it's really sad that you're trying to make it out like I'm judging other peoples lives because I get some kind of emotional high from it. I'm talking about people in my life who I deeply care about being in relationships that are blatantly unhealthy for them.. that isn't exactly a selfish concern.
thatgirl08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 08:32 PM   #47
Tania
Disneyland Bobsled Team
 
Tania's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The corner of Small World Mall & Matterhorn Way.
Posts: 1,975
Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tania has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl08 View Post
Honestly, I think it's really sad that you're trying to make it out like I'm judging other peoples lives because I get some kind of emotional high from it. I'm talking about people in my life who I deeply care about being in relationships that are blatantly unhealthy for them.. that isn't exactly a selfish concern.
Honestly, I'm not singling you out and wouldn't've suspected you in particular of attempting to invalidate your friends' feelings. I've been watching this thread from the beginning and vascillating as far as what I wanted to contribute because I generally distrust broad-based, self-congratulatory kinds of "oh aren't we evolved" types of statements. I'm not trying to negate anybody's honest feelings, just offering another view from my part of the world. Because trust me, there ARE plenty of people out there who are coming from a bitchy place when they talk about their friends like this.

ETA: I went back through the thread to find some of the comments that reeked of "my friends think I'm picky for a fat girl, but they're just projecting on me because they're needy and stupid" and couldn't find most of what I was responding to. It's quite possible that my comments might have been sparked by a different thread or even a related conversation on another site, which makes it totally clear why you thought I was dogging you, Rachel. I'm sorry!
__________________
You're such a strange girl
I think you come from another world

~ The Cure

"She will never submit to any thing requiring industry and patience, and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding."
~ Mr. Knightley on Emma, Jane Austen's Emma

Last edited by Tania; 09-02-2011 at 09:00 PM. Reason: ETA :)
Tania is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2011, 08:55 AM   #48
bigmac
 
bigmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Redwood Coast
Posts: 10,364
bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
That is so ridiculous. There is no such thing as leagues, anyway - and that therapist is an ignorant jackoff. It's one thing to go after people who are emotionally unavailable, and that's worth looking at...but leagues???? No such thing. Ignorant BS.
If you don't like the term league how about target market.

I'm married but if I were still looking here are some examples of people and places that would be outside my target market:

I'm an atheist so church functions would likely not provide many romantic prospects;

I'm a social democrat so Tea Party events likewise would not be good romantic hunting grounds;

I'm not rich or famous, therefore, I'd be wasting my time pursuing many West LA//Beverley Hills types;

I'm not young and thin and I don't have perfect teeth so it would also be a waste of time to go clubbing in Miami Beach.

So my target market would be middle age non-materialistic liberal atheists. Since only a small percentage of the US population fits this demographic you could say that most of the population is out of my league -- I don't have any problem with this. You could also say that I'm being overly picky by writing off a large percentage of the population -- I'm OK with that as well.
bigmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2011, 09:23 AM   #49
LovelyLiz
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,247
LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!LovelyLiz keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I'm fine saying most of the population might not be a good match for you (I'd say the same for myself, really, for different reasons). But "out of your league" implies that it's because those things that define what you're looking for or what you have to offer are objectively worse or lower than what other people have to offer or are looking for. And that is false.
LovelyLiz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2011, 09:29 AM   #50
TraciJo67
On Timeout
 
TraciJo67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Minnesoooota
Posts: 4,880
TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
So my target market would be middle age non-materialistic liberal atheists. Since only a small percentage of the US population fits this demographic you could say that most of the population is out of my league -- I don't have any problem with this. You could also say that I'm being overly picky by writing off a large percentage of the population -- I'm OK with that as well.
I was laughing a bit at this because I'm a middle-aged non-materialistic liberal atheist. And I don't think it would come as any surprise to you that we wouldn't get along at all
TraciJo67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:46 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.