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Old 06-07-2011, 09:23 PM   #1
bella929
 
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Default Am I a BBW? :0

Currently a very thick size 14, at 5'4" and 175lbs. My BMI is right on the border of overweight/obese, around 30 lbs/sq.inches.
I usually refer to myself as a smaller BBW, chubby, or extra thick. I feel like I'm still larger/heavier than your "average" girl...but I've had several individuals tell me that I'm not really a BBW.
I think someone else posted a similar thread about feeling too big for the skinny-minnies and too small for the BBW/FA community. I sort of feel the same way-like I'm in this awkward middle ground...
I really am trying to fall in love with my body size/shape the way it is, but sometimes I feel incredibly pressured to change.
Recently I've been trying to lose weight, because my family keeps bringing it up, telling me that I'll be so much more attractive once I'm thinner. Sometimes they try to say it's about my health, but I don't really buy it. I exercise moderately several times weekly, my immune system is in good shape, and I think my cardiovascular health is just fine as is.
My friends have also been making a lot of negative comments about their appearance/bodies, which in turn effects my own self-image.
Sometimes when I see my numbers on the scale go down, I feel accomplished/excited, but most of the time I feel frustrated and down. I wish that I could just be happy with myself as I am now.
I see so many beautiful, confident people on DIMs and it brings me hope...
Yet I feel like maybe I don't belong because I'm at war with my own body, and it seems hypocritical for me to see the beauty in the other lovely ladies and gentlemen (both large and small) while I can't find it in myself.

I totally just went completely off-track. Anyways...I was wondering if any fellow DIMs members could give me their honest opinions-would you consider me a BBW? If not, then how would you describe me? Just looking for a general consensus... please don't be afraid to say how you really feel.
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Old 06-08-2011, 10:50 AM   #2
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I really really hate these arbitrary pigeon holing labels that are thrown around so easily. All too often they cause unnecessary grief for those like you who should not have to be concerned. Do not let others preferences dictate your worthiness. You obviously feel you are Bigger than what society feels you should be. From what I have seen, quite Beautiful. And without a doubt a Woman. You belong here as much as anyone else does.
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Old 06-08-2011, 12:39 PM   #3
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I would consider you chubby, definitely not a BBW. Still you are beautiful nonetheless

I am close to your size, although I am a guy (5'8" 175) I wouldn't consider myself a BHM though. It depends on your fitness level too, I am fairly active play basketball and tennis, ride my bike at least 20mi a week. I have friends that based on weight would be obese, but are solid muscle.
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Old 06-08-2011, 01:06 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by J34 View Post
I would consider you chubby, definitely not a BBW. Still you are beautiful nonetheless

I am close to your size, although I am a guy (5'8" 175) I wouldn't consider myself a BHM though. It depends on your fitness level too, I am fairly active play basketball and tennis, ride my bike at least 20mi a week. I have friends that based on weight would be obese, but are solid muscle.
Fitness level has nothing to do with being a BBW. There are many who are are quite active, hiking, walking, jogging, running after their kids, etc.

********
Bella, like Zandoz said, it's a label only. If you feel you have something to gain here, or identify with other BBWs, then I wouldn't worry about the term itself. You are more than just some initials. Hugs.
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Old 06-08-2011, 01:17 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
Fitness level has nothing to do with being a BBW. There are many who are are quite active, hiking, walking, jogging, running after their kids, etc.
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Bella, like Zandoz said, it's a label only. If you feel you have something to gain here, or identify with other BBWs, then I wouldn't worry about the term itself. You are more than just some initials. Hugs.
I think I didn't make it clear I guess, that some people feel that their weight is what determines their health. Since I know a handful of large people that are healthier than people half their size. Which is why I feel that labels usually pigeonhole people into a certain criteria
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Old 06-08-2011, 03:33 PM   #6
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Your weight is just fine. Don't let anyone pressure you. Plump/thick girls are more sexy than skinny girls any day.
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Old 06-08-2011, 03:43 PM   #7
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Default Beautifully Chubby But Not a BBW Yet.

Bella:

You are at a beautiful and sexy weight. Don't be embarrassed. I too hate pigeon holing people based on labels, but you asked an honest question so here is my honest answer. I don't think you are heavy enough to be classified as a BBW in my mind. What is very unique and wonderful about you is being of Asian descent, it is rare to find Asian women who are chubby or fat. Given your beautiful face, I think you are sexy now and could continue to be very attractive even if you gained more. So enjoy who you are, embrace your tendency to gain weight and be self-confident in how you look. I can tell you with 100 degree certainty there are tons of men who would love to meet an Asian woman who is big and voluptuous. So if you want to become a BBW go for it!
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Old 06-08-2011, 06:52 PM   #8
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First 0.14-15 tons here!

Don't worry too much about what your friends say. If they're really your friends then what they're saying isn't meant to make you feel bad and just stems from a difference of opinion. Deep down they want you to be happy and probably just aren't as knowledgeable about what that is than they think. The health thing rings true. Stochastically speaking extra weight = early death, but it's in the same way being male = early death so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

As far as being BBW... it's pretty subjective. Some people try to come up with a height/weight chart, but really if you're Big, Beautiful, and a Woman, you're good to go. So, you can tell us.
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Old 06-09-2011, 02:16 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bella929 View Post
Currently a very thick size 14, at 5'4" and 175lbs. My BMI is right on the border of overweight/obese, around 30 lbs/sq.inches.
I usually refer to myself as a smaller BBW, chubby, or extra thick. I feel like I'm still larger/heavier than your "average" girl...but I've had several individuals tell me that I'm not really a BBW.
I think someone else posted a similar thread about feeling too big for the skinny-minnies and too small for the BBW/FA community. I sort of feel the same way-like I'm in this awkward middle ground...
I really am trying to fall in love with my body size/shape the way it is, but sometimes I feel incredibly pressured to change.
Recently I've been trying to lose weight, because my family keeps bringing it up, telling me that I'll be so much more attractive once I'm thinner. Sometimes they try to say it's about my health, but I don't really buy it. I exercise moderately several times weekly, my immune system is in good shape, and I think my cardiovascular health is just fine as is.
My friends have also been making a lot of negative comments about their appearance/bodies, which in turn effects my own self-image.
Sometimes when I see my numbers on the scale go down, I feel accomplished/excited, but most of the time I feel frustrated and down. I wish that I could just be happy with myself as I am now.
I see so many beautiful, confident people on DIMs and it brings me hope...
Yet I feel like maybe I don't belong because I'm at war with my own body, and it seems hypocritical for me to see the beauty in the other lovely ladies and gentlemen (both large and small) while I can't find it in myself.

I totally just went completely off-track. Anyways...I was wondering if any fellow DIMs members could give me their honest opinions-would you consider me a BBW? If not, then how would you describe me? Just looking for a general consensus... please don't be afraid to say how you really feel.
Yes, you are a BBW according to the clothng industry. They say BBW starts at size 14, and SSBBW starts at 28W.
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Old 06-09-2011, 09:30 AM   #10
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Can I just call you a gorgeous individual? It's just how I feel. lol
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Old 06-09-2011, 02:42 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zandoz View Post
I really really hate these arbitrary pigeon holing labels that are thrown around so easily. All too often they cause unnecessary grief for those like you who should not have to be concerned. Do not let others preferences dictate your worthiness. You obviously feel you are Bigger than what society feels you should be. From what I have seen, quite Beautiful. And without a doubt a Woman. You belong here as much as anyone else does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
Fitness level has nothing to do with being a BBW. There are many who are are quite active, hiking, walking, jogging, running after their kids, etc.

********
Bella, like Zandoz said, it's a label only. If you feel you have something to gain here, or identify with other BBWs, then I wouldn't worry about the term itself. You are more than just some initials. Hugs.

Thank you Zandoz and CastingPearls-I suppose there isn't much sense in worrying about labeling myself when I know I can relate to many other posters on DIMs. Your posts were both very encouraging and I feel even more welcome here!
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Old 06-09-2011, 03:04 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J34 View Post
I would consider you chubby, definitely not a BBW. Still you are beautiful nonetheless

I am close to your size, although I am a guy (5'8" 175) I wouldn't consider myself a BHM though. It depends on your fitness level too, I am fairly active play basketball and tennis, ride my bike at least 20mi a week. I have friends that based on weight would be obese, but are solid muscle.
I love tennis! We are indeed in the same range...I do know the BMI doesn't measure fat, it measures weight...but I did get measured with a machine at a gym and found I have about 35% body fat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chode McBlob View Post
Your weight is just fine. Don't let anyone pressure you. Plump/thick girls are more sexy than skinny girls any day.
Thanks Chode...I'll try my best (Funny username btw! )

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigFA View Post
Bella:

You are at a beautiful and sexy weight. Don't be embarrassed. I too hate pigeon holing people based on labels, but you asked an honest question so here is my honest answer. I don't think you are heavy enough to be classified as a BBW in my mind. What is very unique and wonderful about you is being of Asian descent, it is rare to find Asian women who are chubby or fat. Given your beautiful face, I think you are sexy now and could continue to be very attractive even if you gained more. So enjoy who you are, embrace your tendency to gain weight and be self-confident in how you look. I can tell you with 100 degree certainty there are tons of men who would love to meet an Asian woman who is big and voluptuous. So if you want to become a BBW go for it!
BigFa: Yeah...fatness is heavily stigmatized in Asian culture, that's why you won't see very many larger Asian girls. Thank you for being honest...I really did want users to feel comfortable with being honest without feeling pressured to tell me what they thought I wanted to hear. Thanks very much for your reassuring and kind words!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totmacher View Post
First 0.14-15 tons here!

Don't worry too much about what your friends say. If they're really your friends then what they're saying isn't meant to make you feel bad and just stems from a difference of opinion. Deep down they want you to be happy and probably just aren't as knowledgeable about what that is than they think. The health thing rings true. Stochastically speaking extra weight = early death, but it's in the same way being male = early death so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

As far as being BBW... it's pretty subjective. Some people try to come up with a height/weight chart, but really if you're Big, Beautiful, and a Woman, you're good to go. So, you can tell us.
I know my friends mean well but it's tough not to misinterpret messages sometimes (especially since we live in a mostly anti-fat culture!). I'm a big believer in HAES (Health at Every Size), heavier people really aren't any less physically healthy than your individual of average weight-all has to do with lifestyle.
The end of your post was very empowering...I really liked it

Quote:
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Can I just call you a gorgeous individual? It's just how I feel. lol
Awww thank you Jon! You certainly may...that's very sweet of you
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:24 AM   #13
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Hi Bella! Didn't really have much to add since what I want to say has already been said. Just wanted to welcome you to Dimensions and I hope to see you posting on the fashion board, which happens to be my favorite spot.
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Old 06-22-2011, 01:50 PM   #14
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By your description it sound like you're a plus-size gal. Really I think you're going to be the one to find the words that feel good to you to use. There are women and men up and down the range who have conflicts about their bodies. A lot of other people have a conflict about what they think fat-acceptance means. To me it is accepting what fat you have, whether a little or a whole lot, and not feeling that changing it is some great imperative inherently, and fighting those who want to perpetuate weight-based discrimination.

It sounds like you're someone who takes health as a serious issue. I would encourage you to look up Health At Every Size, Linda Bacon, and the organization ASDAH (the Association for Size Diversity and Health).

I hope you will look to the people you see who exhibit positivity about their size. I know it's a tough thing to resist riding the fence between fat-acceptance partisans and reductionists, especially when you have close friends, maybe even other fat or chubby friends who are full-tilt into a reduction and want to be celebrated for what they feel are their accomplishments, and who can at times lash out at those fellow fatties who don't go along as being "jealous", "not doing anything about their weight", etc; but the truth is there are ways to "do something" about being non-thin that have nothing to do with trying to turn oneself thin, and there are many here who will tell you that every day you can attack the world with joy and embrace all the living breathing material of your own body is a hefty accomplishment itself!
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Old 06-22-2011, 02:46 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bella929 View Post
Currently a very thick size 14, at 5'4" and 175lbs. My BMI is right on the border of overweight/obese, around 30 lbs/sq.inches.
I usually refer to myself as a smaller BBW, chubby, or extra thick. I feel like I'm still larger/heavier than your "average" girl...but I've had several individuals tell me that I'm not really a BBW.
I think someone else posted a similar thread about feeling too big for the skinny-minnies and too small for the BBW/FA community. I sort of feel the same way-like I'm in this awkward middle ground...
I really am trying to fall in love with my body size/shape the way it is, but sometimes I feel incredibly pressured to change.
Recently I've been trying to lose weight, because my family keeps bringing it up, telling me that I'll be so much more attractive once I'm thinner. Sometimes they try to say it's about my health, but I don't really buy it. I exercise moderately several times weekly, my immune system is in good shape, and I think my cardiovascular health is just fine as is.
My friends have also been making a lot of negative comments about their appearance/bodies, which in turn effects my own self-image.
Sometimes when I see my numbers on the scale go down, I feel accomplished/excited, but most of the time I feel frustrated and down. I wish that I could just be happy with myself as I am now.
I see so many beautiful, confident people on DIMs and it brings me hope...
Yet I feel like maybe I don't belong because I'm at war with my own body, and it seems hypocritical for me to see the beauty in the other lovely ladies and gentlemen (both large and small) while I can't find it in myself.

I totally just went completely off-track. Anyways...I was wondering if any fellow DIMs members could give me their honest opinions-would you consider me a BBW? If not, then how would you describe me? Just looking for a general consensus... please don't be afraid to say how you really feel.
Firstly, please accept my apologies if I come out of this sounding out of line or rude or intrusive and definitely feel free to correct me if you believe I am wrong about this...

But it sounds like you're conflicted about who/what you want to be and that other people's opinions constitutes a large influence on how you perceive yourself and your body. Is a label really going to change all of this and give you the sense of belonging that you appear to be wanting?

Because to me, it sounds more like that sense of belonging is what you want and it is doubtful that having a simple label like "BBW" or any other will be able to give you that true sense of belonging.
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