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Old 06-29-2011, 09:06 PM   #26
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I agree with Orange Mage. Why are you fiddling with the lights, when you should be fiddling with something a lot more fun?
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:11 PM   #27
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much like mentioned earlier, I was a "lights off" type of guy in my younger days, but like dromond agreed, I've got other things to fiddle with.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:41 PM   #28
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Lights on, lights off, candlelight, laptop light, blue canary in the outlet by the lightswitch, lamps with scarves, lamps with fake legs in fishnet stockings, thunder and lightning, bright light bright light Gizmo style, moonlight, little green lights on people's profiles, flashlights and comic books under the covers, I like it all.

All of it.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:48 PM   #29
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I'm okay with both. I used to be all about the dark due to body shame, if briefly. Then I started ending up in weird threesomes and shit-- in broad daylight, lights on, in the kitchen, etc, etc, etc. -coughs-

However...there's something intimate about COMPLETE darkness. Intentionally so, not for hiding. You barely feel human anymore. Its AWESOME.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:50 PM   #30
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Lights on, lights off, candlelight, laptop light, blue canary in the outlet by the lightswitch, lamps with scarves, lamps with fake legs in fishnet stockings, thunder and lightning, bright light bright light Gizmo style, moonlight, little green lights on people's profiles, flashlights and comic books under the covers, I like it all.

All of it.
I have a small fake leg lamp with fishnets on my hubby's bedside stand Makes a great night light
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Old 06-30-2011, 05:55 AM   #31
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I have a small fake leg lamp with fishnets on my hubby's bedside stand Makes a great night light
And I bet some nights are like a Christmas Story
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Old 06-30-2011, 06:32 AM   #32
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i also heard that someone could want the lights off because they don't find there bodies unattractive.i also heard some guys are "unsatisfied" with there size down there so they want the lights off.
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Old 06-30-2011, 11:14 PM   #33
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And I bet some nights are like a Christmas Story
You'll shoot your eye out!

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Old 06-30-2011, 11:53 PM   #34
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A good friend of mine used to say that if you've gotten naked with a guy, most guys are just going to be so stoked to be with you without clothes that they aren't going to really be spending a lot of time being super critical of perceived bodily "imperfections." This seems to play out as true.

It's interesting that not a single person (at least that I noticed) said they would want to turn off the light because they didn't like how their partner looked - it was only because of personal insecurity about their own body. Very interesting.

Hm.
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Old 07-01-2011, 02:05 AM   #35
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Lighting doesnt really tend to bother me, soft lighting is good - always makes people look so much better but one thing which annoys me is noise, if i hear a ticking clock or the tv is on it puts me right off and i cant concentrate
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Old 07-01-2011, 02:25 AM   #36
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A good friend of mine used to say that if you've gotten naked with a guy, most guys are just going to be so stoked to be with you without clothes that they aren't going to really be spending a lot of time being super critical of perceived bodily "imperfections." This seems to play out as true..

i agree i mean im the type of guy that gets excited to see any woman naked so yeah.LOL
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:03 AM   #37
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It depends. Sometimes lights off creates a very sensual experience, but I usually prefer lights on to see my baby's face.
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:12 AM   #38
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Soft, romantic lights for me.
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:56 AM   #39
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Honestly, in the midst of things, I have never really thought about the lights. I'm always busy thinkin' of other more important things. If the lights are on, they're on. If they're not, they're not.
Same here.
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Old 07-01-2011, 12:57 PM   #40
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Thanks everyone for your responses.

For people who are just answering about what kind of light you prefer, can you include maybe some info about why you prefer it? Does it have anything to do with how much you like looking at the partner's body, or something else?
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:12 PM   #41
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i also heard that someone could want the lights off because they don't find there bodies unattractive.
I have no idea what this means.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:20 PM   #42
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It's interesting that not a single person (at least that I noticed) said they would want to turn off the light because they didn't like how their partner looked - it was only because of personal insecurity about their own body. Very interesting.

Hm.
I have honestly never heard this [lights off b/c partner is fug] once--not from friends, not in sex columns, not in passing on the bus. Sure, a few crude 'paper bag' frat jokes, but never in any kind of serious way at all. So to me, it's interesting that you HAVE heard it. Now I want to know more about that! From whom?! Where? How?

I've always joked that if I'm naked with a guy, no matter what my boobs look like, I've still got the best set of tits in the room. It's crass, but true! Unless it's a multiple partner situation!

I've liked looking at some partner's bodies more than others (which isn't the same as saying I actively dislike looking at some), but I also don't feel that it's important for me to have sex in the daytime/with lights on. I guess I'm not visually oriented in that way.

So maybe for me, well-lit sex is just my forced response to the whole 'do I interrupt the flow to close the blinds? Do I wrap myself in a robe?' underlying gut response. You know, like I'm going to actively refuse to feel inadequate or embarrassed. The bedroom is no place for shame. I don't fake orgasms ever, either, for the same reason.


Which I'm totally sure you all wanted to know.

....aaaaand post.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:24 PM   #43
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I've always joked that if I'm naked with a guy, no matter what my boobs look like, I've still got the best set of tits in the room.

You know, like I'm going to actively refuse to feel inadequate or embarrassed. The bedroom is no place for shame. I don't fake orgasms ever, either, for the same reason.

I LOL at the first part (tits) and all of it is so true for me as well. No inadequacy, no embarrassment, no fear. I won't get naked with someone if that's an issue.

As far as the faking orgasms part, I wouldn't consider that cheating myself so, never gonna happen. To thine own self be true.

Great post.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:32 PM   #44
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Thanks everyone for your responses.

For people who are just answering about what kind of light you prefer, can you include maybe some info about why you prefer it? Does it have anything to do with how much you like looking at the partner's body, or something else?
First, I just like to see period. It makes things go more smoothly, especially if we have a lot going on like toys and lubes and contraptions etc. Second, I do have a hot wife and I enjoy seeing her very much. There is something missing for me when we go for it completely in the dark, its not enough to make it unenjoyable or cause a lack of interest but something is missing. I didn't marry a sexy woman to always screw her in the dark.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:35 PM   #45
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I have honestly never heard this [lights off b/c partner is fug] once--not from friends, not in sex columns, not in passing on the bus. Sure, a few crude 'paper bag' frat jokes, but never in any kind of serious way at all. So to me, it's interesting that you HAVE heard it. Now I want to know more about that! From whom?! Where? How?
I've heard it the tv and radio but its not as common as the paper bag reference.
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:08 PM   #46
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I have honestly never heard this [lights off b/c partner is fug] once--not from friends, not in sex columns, not in passing on the bus. Sure, a few crude 'paper bag' frat jokes, but never in any kind of serious way at all. So to me, it's interesting that you HAVE heard it. Now I want to know more about that! From whom?! Where? How?
I'm not sure where I got the idea from in my younger days - it had to have been some jokes in sit-coms or something, and I was too impressionable and insecure about my body to realize it wasn't really how things worked, and I just filed it away for later as a secret test for men I was with to see if they really were attracted to me (this whole "secret test" thing was really f-ed up, I realize).

What brought it up again recently...I am a little embarrassed to say because it's not exactly trustworthy, documentary news source or something, was just the fact that I happened to watch two shows with that theme on consecutive days.

1) There's an episode in season 1 of Arrested Development where Gob needs to have sex with Kitty the receptionist, and first he tries to get her to look better by having her take off her glasses and take down her hair - which only makes her look worse, so then he tries to turn the light off. The next time they have sex he also refers to the fact that there is too much light in the room and is horrified because he doesn't want to look at her.

2) In episode 20 of season 2 of Sex and the City, Samantha is dating a 70-something year old guy, and though she doesn't like the looks of him so much, she subtly turns the light off and says something about how "everything feels the same in the dark." She says she turns the light off because it's sexier, but really it's because she doesn't want to look at him.

So, I guess seeing those two episodes right after each other got the theme going again in my mind, and I realized it is something I pay attention to in my own relationship sometimes, based on those stupid TV show sequences...and I just wondered how much it really happens, or how much other people think about it.
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:23 PM   #47
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Interesting question really.

I haven't ever heard this and generally thought/found that lights off is about the "me" in the situation, not the "you" - plus, I'm not going to be having sex or messing around with someone that I'm not attracted to on some levels, so lights aren't really an issue.

I think I always thought I was really indifferent about it - but recently in an attempt to just turn the lights down (not much control over them) it went from sort of bright to blackness. We sort of both immediately went "too dark" - so I guess I'm not so into pitch black, plus I don't want to smack anyone in the face or something (or some other type of much worse accidental injury that could occur with knees and other "exposed" areas... eep!), so I think light of some level is sort of necessary.

But low light is nice - not for hiding, but just so it's got a softer feel, not quite so stark.

I'm also really, really visual, so if I can't see things (even blurry without my specs!) then it's harder for me to get lost in it.


Interesting!
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:35 PM   #48
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"all of the lights all of the lights, turn up the lights in here baby, extra bright I want yall to see this"

lol I had to
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:52 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Jes View Post
I have no idea what this means.

oops sorry i meant "attractive" instead of "unattractive" sorry about that.>.>
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:53 PM   #50
LeoGibson
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LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.LeoGibson has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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I prefer lights on.I want to see every "dirty" thing we do.I like to look at what it is that has the power to rob me of coherent thought and most of my vocabulary.I really love to see the primal, almost feral look on her face at the moment of release.But,that being said,I'm not gonna go looking for a light switch once it kicks off.It is perfection either way.
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