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Old 07-03-2011, 06:37 PM   #1
lozonloz
 
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Default Working on my straight friend

Basically, I have three best friends. Two guys, one girl. Both guys are fully LGBT literate (if that's a term I can use?) and we never have any problems re. my sexuality. The girl I try to think of... as a project.

She's lovely and sweet and generous and strong and I adore her. However she also has some weird ass views about gay people.

I've known her 7 years and every now and then she'll come out with something truly horrible and most of the time not even realise that it's homophobic. When I told her intersex people were real she freaked out and asked why they don't just "cut the wrong bits off". -_-

We had a long discussion about that one.

I don't want to make her come off as a bad person as she's just been raised in a very insular environment and these concepts are very alien to her. But being the girl I am, I can't just let it lie.

Which means in some contexts I've come to think of her as a work-in-progress. Which may not be the best way to think about one of your best friends, but so far I've got her mind changed on homosexuality in general, then gay marriage and then gay people having children. And tried to explain other bits and pieces to her. Generally it involves long rather fraught discussions though, so we don't talk about it often. I've never failed to change/open her mind, but the discussions can get very fraught and tense and put a strain on our relationship, so we don't tend to have them that often.

Does anyone else have to have these (pain in the butt) discussions with straight friends or relatives?
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:14 PM   #2
CarlaSixx
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I used to have to have these kinds of discussions a lot with some friends and family. I still do have conversations with the about it, but it's not about gay or straight anymore. It's the more complex things that they have a really weird opinion about. Like my best gay friend doesn't understand drag queens or trans people. My mother is starting to understand but is still biased by the way she was raised. She doesn't understand how someone can be born to the wrng body, or feel alien because they feel like they're both genders. It's a very touchy subject but one that I am determined to make those around me understand.
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