Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Main Dimensions Board



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-18-2006, 07:26 AM   #1
johnlucas
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 18
johnlucas has said some nice things
Smile Introducing John Lucas—BBW lover & more

*sigh* I've had this site on my favorites for awhile checking in reading posts but I've never touched down & introduced myself.

Hello everybody here at Dimensions Forums. My name is John Lucas & I am a lover & appreciater of the Big Beautiful Woman.

I study as a hobby the self-image issues facing different social groups & often I use the Fat Acceptance movement as an example to other maligned groups that you CAN love yourself AS yourself without change, without altering yourself to someone else's ideals.

I am proud of the progress fat people have made in standing up for their own worth in a society that still demonizes this body type.
Shows like "The Biggest Loser" (appalling title! ) & "Celebrity Fit Club" just add on to the popular notion that fat people or even slightly plump people aren't attractive.
And it pisses me off quite frankly.

I want there to be a world where EVERYBODY has a place at the table. I want EVERYBODY to feel not only accepted but CELEBRATED & DESIRED. All types, all sizes, all shapes, all kinds.
And I'm trying to find tangible solutions to helping overcome these self-image complexes so that they can live life freely & openly. So that they will come out of these self-imposed shells they hide in & go out to meet people without worry or fear of rejection. And to be able to weather any rejections that may come their way STILL secure in their worth & value.

It's not easy though. Not at all.
Even here as much progress as has been made in the Fat Acceptance Movement there are still mountains to climb before the fat people are truly free.

Just read a couple of posts one on a woman who wants to tell a BHM that she REALLY likes him & find him & his form attractive. That she lusts for him & loves him. But he's wary because he's may think she's toying with him or putting him on. He's not used to being seen as attractive as all the plaque of society has weighed him down on his self-image & worth.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ead.php?t=5766

The Female Fat Admirer which according to this post is more common than you think.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ead.php?t=8510

Read another post with BBW's who are uneasy in their roles as sex symbols to Male Fat Admirers.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ead.php?t=8449

Similar to the sentiments of some large-breasted women they don't want to be seen "as a piece of meat" to be drooled over & lusted over.
That they want someone to love them for MORE than their fat & weight.

Ironic, isn't it?
In a society that largely dictates that fat people have no ability to attract we NOW have a situation where fat women feel intruded upon when one lusts after them just like supermodels in the magazines.

The confusing phenomenon is told from the inverse side in the same thread where some said they didn't want someone to tolerate their fat & size for their personality. To date someone "in spite" of their size.

There's more work to be done. They have a point in that they don't want to be used because of their size but then again they may rule out potential matches by not letting the admirer get a little caught up in the excitement.
Who DOESN'T want to be desired & mesmerizing to a mate?
That's a main component of the whole shebang.

The movement's still in growing pains as fat people & their admirers try to strike a balance where one is loved Mind, Body, AND Soul.

To REALLY know that you are not a niche or "alternative" to so-called "real beauty" or "the mainstream" fat people must participate in ALL of the aspects of the dating scene. Everything DOESN'T have to be a long-term relationship or a full meeting of the minds. Sometimes it's just carnal & one-night stands.
When fat people are able to experience comfortably & assuredly what the thinner people in society already do & take for granted that's when the complex is REALLY broken.
To be able to marry & stay together for 50/60 years.
To be able to date one, break up & date another & another if you so choose.
To be able to have random sex with somebody.
To be able to do all of this without mindfulness of your size & weight.
When YOU are in control, that's when you have overcome.

The movement has succeeded in making BBW's sex symbols at least on the internet.
Next is acceptance & freedom from discrimination in the workplace.
Prominent Leading Roles in mass media.
Leadership positions.
Social accomodation toward size in airplane seating & such.
Clothing & its variety.
Activities suited for fatter people.
Less doctor scare tactics about weight & health.

You all are on your way.
It is only a matter of time before fatter people are viewed less as plagues & more like the human beings that we all are.
Where people will stop being closet FA's & it becomes as common as seeing a BHM poster boy or BBW calendar girl on someone's wall. Where fat kids don't have to go through that social struggle being the size they are.

I'm proud & happy of this movement & when I talk to other groups such as flat-chested women, short-heighted men, small-genitaled men, anorexics & any other group that feels ostracized or not desired in society, I use you all as an example of people summoning & pooling their own strength from within & rebelling against what some society said should be.

And they can understand because everybody knows the hell fat people have been through in society. They may have contributed to some of it even.
They will understand what I am trying to do.
And they will know that the true goal is to get EVERYBODY of all types a place at the table where they can feel accepted, desired, & loved.
That's what every human being wants.

That will improve human relations & reduce the tensions between us if we achieve this.
The day the Creator made us different from one another was the day humanity was doomed to suffer this fate. We are NOT all created equal. We are nowhere NEAR the same. We are all different.
It is our job to find the power & beauty in each form & type so that we can stand proud knowing our value to ourselves & to others.

My name is John Lucas, soldier to repair the human mosaic, an admirer of women in general, & dedicated admirer of the Big Beautiful Woman.

Thanks for making through my long-winded ramblings & more to come!
John Lucas
johnlucas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 01:55 PM   #2
Tzetrik
Master Shaper
 
Tzetrik's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 76
Tzetrik can now change their title
Default

erm... Hi!
Tzetrik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 02:12 PM   #3
Carrie
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,368
Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Carrie has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Yes, hi! And welcome.
__________________
.
Carrie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 02:58 PM   #4
AnnMarie
✰cuddly and terrifying✰
 
AnnMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Twirly Girl
Posts: 16,296
AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

If anyone ever needed to be H'd, it's this guy.

Welcome to the boards, enjoy your time!
__________________
So ... yeah.
AnnMarie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 03:00 PM   #5
Ned Sonntag
Outermost Hoodoo Doctor
 
Ned Sonntag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Cape Cod
Posts: 7,820
Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Ned Sonntag has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default Kinkstah!

(kinky friedman)

Ol ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick
But back again it grows.

Well, ol ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.

When its cotton picking time in texas,
Boys, its booger picking time for ben.
Hed raise that finger mean and hostile
Stick it in that waitin nostril,
Here he comes with a green one once again.

All right, pick it, eric!

Ol ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.

Everybody!
Ol ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin right out of his nose,
He picked and picked till it made you sick
But back again it grows.
Ned Sonntag is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 03:29 PM   #6
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Hi John Lucas. Welcome to the boards. I read your impressively long intro with interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnlucas
I study as a hobby the self-image issues facing different social groups & often I use the Fat Acceptance movement as an example to other maligned groups
Your dedication to furthering causes is admirable. But I must admit that a red flag went up for me when I read this sentence. I don't think I personally want to be pointed out as an example to any other person or group. I just want to be part of the norm. When you use "us" as an example - aren't you further separating us out? I think that might be what we're fighting against to begin with. Just a thought.
Quote:
fat people must participate in ALL of the aspects of the dating scene.
When YOU are in control, that's when you have overcome.
I think we already do that. Not sure where you're going with this one, but the flags are waving again.
Quote:
I'm proud & happy of this movement & when I talk to other groups such as flat-chested women, short-heighted men, small-genitaled men, anorexics & any other group that feels ostracized or not desired in society, I use you all as an example of people summoning & pooling their own strength from within & rebelling against what some society said should be.
Oh, stop now. Flat chested women? Small genitiled men? You "talk" to groups of these people? Do they pay you for this? Or do you just corral hapless () un-well-endowed mall shoppers? Maybe you have a mailing list of anorexics - that I can believe, but the others? Pull someone else's legs, mine are long enough. But again, I'm not sure Fat People want to be portrayed as poster children for any one else's social challenge. Just my opinion.
Quote:
And they can understand because everybody knows the hell fat people have been through in society.
They do? Isn't that exactly what size acceptance is based on? That everybody doesn't know? That they don't get it?
Quote:
They will understand what I am trying to do.
Okay, cuz I'm still not quite sure.
Quote:
That will improve human relations & reduce the tensions between us if we achieve this.
Wouldn't that be lovely? Sounds a little too simplistic though.
Quote:
My name is John Lucas, soldier to repair the human mosaic, an admirer of women in general, & dedicated admirer of the Big Beautiful Woman.
Thanks for making through my long-winded ramblings & more to come!
John Lucas
Again, welcome to the boards, John Lucas. It's a great group of folks, and I hope you become an integral part. I hope you'll take some time to enjoy yourself here, have some fun. Take a break from the soldiering for a bit. Ever seen a dog in a hat?
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 04:08 PM   #7
ripley
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,955
ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.ripley has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Hello and welcome, John!

I too am a soldier for the undesirable! If we don't take up their cause, who will? I remember when I was a guest speaker at the Miniscule PeePee and Little Nubbin Bewbie Association....I told them "You should see fat people! You are brothers and sisters under the skin...unite!" Have you ever attended any of the MPLNBA symposia? We may have even met!

Perhaps you've read my dissertation on the medical and social benefits of using liposuctioned fat from "overweight" people to augment breast size and penis girth? After all, no man has ever had to buy two airplane seats because he has a fat...well, you know. It's a win-win situation!

Again, welcome to the boards! I look forward to many great conversations with you.
__________________
.

ripley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 04:13 PM   #8
dreamer72fem
hmmm....
 
dreamer72fem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: sw michigan
Posts: 934
dreamer72fem is a member of the 500 clubdreamer72fem is a member of the 500 clubdreamer72fem is a member of the 500 clubdreamer72fem is a member of the 500 clubdreamer72fem is a member of the 500 clubdreamer72fem is a member of the 500 club
Default

Hey there....welcome to the boards.
Stacey
__________________
Who needs a big girl hug???
www.youtube.com/dreamer72fem
dreamer72fem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 04:56 PM   #9
johnlucas
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 18
johnlucas has said some nice things
Post Clearing up misunderstandings

Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaNY
Hi John Lucas. Welcome to the boards. I read your impressively long intro with interest.
Thanks for the warm welcome everybody. And before things get out of hand I'm gonna clear up some misunderstandings, OK? Want us to be on the same page.

Quote:
johnlucas: I study as a hobby the self-image issues facing different social groups & often I use the Fat Acceptance movement as an example to other maligned groups
================
Your dedication to furthering causes is admirable. But I must admit that a red flag went up for me when I read this sentence. I don't think I personally want to be pointed out as an example to any other person or group. I just want to be part of the norm. When you use "us" as an example - aren't you further separating us out? I think that might be what we're fighting against to begin with. Just a thought.
Thank you SamanthaNY for the compliment. When I said that above I meant that I show people who feel badly about themselves on whatever self-image issue they face the progress of THIS movement as a standard showing how everyone can overcome & defeat complexes on self-image imposed by self & society.
No need for red flags here.

I want to show them YOUR success so that they know THEY can be equally successful in conquering their issues.
I'm not AT ALL implying that fat people are irregular or abnormal. Don't get me wrong. In reality I'm showing the common thread between people's differing issues with their appearances. I believe ALL groups & types should learn from each other to gain better understanding about others AND themselves. Forums are EXCELLENT resources for learning about how people feel. You get the straight-from-the-heart stories from people's personal experiences & I think that is valuable.

People only know about their own dealings. To learn from someone who has different experiences in life can broaden the horizons & hopes of that learner.

Yes, all humans have common threads but NO there are things that only people of that type can intimately understand. I am a man & I cannot know exactly what women go through. We are both human beings & there are things we have in common that I CAN relate & understand but at the same time there are things that a man knows only and a woman knows only.
To bridge the gap we must learn from each other.

This is what I've done lurking & reading various forums on a variety of issues. And I STILL have much learning to do. But I have learned a lot reading the experiences that are not my own.

I am & have always been skinny. 6 foot tall. 145 pounds. I CANNOT understand in detail what a fat person goes through growing up. I can see some of it from afar & relate on being ostracized because we've ALL had experience with that but what do I REALLY know about the life & struggles of someone growing up in this society who is fat?

For me to just disregard & ignore someone else's challenges will ENSURE that the discrimination & ostracization NEVER goes away.
I'm black. And there are white, asian, etc. people who want to understand just what challenges black people go through. Do I erect a barrier forbidding them from learning about my kind & the lives we live?

How CAN we be one, how CAN we be all together, all normal if barriers exist to understanding each other? Barriers & walls only build distrust & misunderstanding.

I believe by telling other people of your movement I am NOT separating you out and acutally bringing you more IN. They will see what you have in common & how some of the same themes pop up in their struggles.
The success & progress of this movement can help other people in starting theirs. Whether it be a national one or a personal one.

Quote:
johnlucas: fat people must participate in ALL of the aspects of the dating scene.
When YOU are in control, that's when you have overcome.
====================================
I think we already do that. Not sure where you're going with this one, but the flags are waving again.
SamanthaNY, some may have it under control but there are plenty of posts here as we speak with people having difficulty feeling comfortable with admirers or suitors. A lot of distrust no doubt caused from the residues of the social stigma placed upon large-sized people. They can't tell if the people are being genuine in their admiration or are just putting them on. Or in some cases looking to exploit them. Still some confusion here. That's why this group exists, right?
The battle is not won yet.

Quote:
johnlucas: I'm proud & happy of this movement & when I talk to other groups such as flat-chested women, short-heighted men, small-genitaled men, anorexics & any other group that feels ostracized or not desired in society, I use you all as an example of people summoning & pooling their own strength from within & rebelling against what some society said should be.
===============================
Oh, stop now. Flat chested women? Small genitiled men? You "talk" to groups of these people? Do they pay you for this? Or do you just corral hapless () un-well-endowed mall shoppers? Maybe you have a mailing list of anorexics - that I can believe, but the others? Pull someone else's legs, mine are long enough. But again, I'm not sure Fat People want to be portrayed as poster children for any one else's social challenge. Just my opinion.
You don't believe me, do you? I've set off your cynic guarddog it seems.
I admit I'm an unusual person. Most people don't bother studying stuff like this & I think that's the problem. I want this world to have a better understanding of each other & each other's challenges. Self-image issues I believe are the root of a lot of problems that face the world. The insecurities become poisonous to civilization I believe. I'm trying to figure out TANGIBLY not just philosophically how to solve them.

YES. I DO talk to & study these groups.
In this forum here below I just recently counseled a woman who sought out my opinion in a Private Message about getting breast implants. A flat-chested woman who was uneasy with her appearance.

BreastTalk Community Forums
http://forum.breasttalk.co.uk/category-view.asp
She wanted an alternative MALE viewpoint on the issue.
I told her that she should try celebrating her form & find the beauty within it.
Told her my opinion would be to NIX the surgery.

I do this on my own free will. No payment for this whatsoever. Like I said I'm committed to trying to beat these issues. I want to get to the bottom of them because what I'm seeing in the culture disturbs me. Plastic surgery EVERYWHERE & treated as normal??? Shows like "The Swan" & "The Biggest Loser"??? That *stuff* (keeping it clean) makes me SICK.

You wanna see my first post to a forum of small-genitaled men? (possibly the hardest group to crack the image complex on)
My first post to Measurection.com
http://www.measurection.com/forums/s...rt=&PHPSESSID=

I have found studying this group of people that they have EVEN MORE difficulties than the difficulties faced by fat people. And if you don't believe me read that site. They have an EVEN STEEPER hill to climb in getting to self-acceptance & celebration.

And because I wasn't small-genitaled I had to learn what they faced in society by reading their experiences. I joined that site YEARS ago & just studied before I finally posted this month.
If you read that post you will get my long history of how I fell into this peculiar hobby.
I'm just curious about why things are the way they are & that's what motivates me.

Quote:
johnlucas: And they can understand because everybody knows the hell fat people have been through in society.
==============================
They do? Isn't that exactly what size acceptance is based on? That everybody doesn't know? That they don't get it?
They may not know your PERSONAL hells but they can't NOT know how maligned fat people are in society. And some may have contributed to it. Either as bystander or enacter or victim we all know that fat people aren't valued as they should be in this society.
They WILL understand in DEPTH once they read your experiences.
Which is why I'm baffled at your defensiveness when I mentioned that I relate the existence of your movement to other groups in order to help them.
They can see people similarly maligned take their own power & resist the negatives of the culture that wishes them to subexist. I'm telling them YOUR story to bring them hope. 'Cause you all's story is a story of hope.

Quote:
johnlucas: They will understand what I am trying to do.
====================================
Okay, cuz I'm still not quite sure.
Well then let me say it again. I want EVERYBODY to feel loved, valued & accepted as who they are. I want to end the image complexes that threaten to cripple the human race. I don't want to see people in pain. I want people to be carefree in society secure in the knowledge that they belong. I want to end the prejudices & stigmatization facing certain social groups. I'm trying to put up a counter to the virtual inevitability of exclusionary eugenics. Eugenics that seek to "weed out" the "undesirables". I want civilization to step up & accomodate all types of people. I want plastic surgery (the precursor to exclusionary eugenics) not to be as normalized as it is in society going back to its role as repairer of true defects/disfigurements rather than this vanity "I'm not good enough" surgery we see today. I want different types of people in leadership roles. I want plentiful media representation of all the types we are. I want to expand the notions of beauty. I want to break down the barriers that divide us all.
Utopian perhaps but that's what I'm trying to do & it's d*mn sure better than just accepting things the way they are now.

I HATE the phrase: "That's just the way it is." I don't believe in that & I don't accept that.

Quote:
johnlucas: That will improve human relations & reduce the tensions between us if we achieve this.
=============================
Wouldn't that be lovely? Sounds a little too simplistic though.
You're a bit cynical but that's OK. Gaining understanding ALWAYS improves things. Knowledge is advancement. When people went out on that limb & did what was thought to be impossible doubters existed then too. The doubters learned. Solving the self-image complex is only the beginning, SamanthaNY.

Quote:
johnlucas: My name is John Lucas, soldier to repair the human mosaic, an admirer of women in general, & dedicated admirer of the Big Beautiful Woman.
Thanks for making through my long-winded ramblings & more to come!
====================================
Again, welcome to the boards, John Lucas. It's a great group of folks, and I hope you become an integral part. I hope you'll take some time to enjoy yourself here, have some fun. Take a break from the soldiering for a bit. Ever seen a dog in a hat?
Thanks again, SamanthaNY. Put away your red flags. You'll soon find out that I am very genuine. This is my real name & I always post with my real name & my real thoughts.

And trust me every topic I put here is not gonna be this heavy-handed. I like to have fun too.
But when I first come to a forum I always Introduce myself telling all why I'm here to join you.

No, never seen a dog in a hat.
Only in a tux.
John Lucas
johnlucas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 05:20 PM   #10
ThatFatGirl
Why am I still here?
 
ThatFatGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I'm lost.
Posts: 3,553
ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default Saint John Lucas

Why don't you start all over again and tell us about YOU...

Did you take a chubby girl to the prom?

Have you ever actually gotten a woody over a fat girl herself.. you know, the person?


What compels you to try to be a savior to so many? This is a hobby for you?

Do you really think you're qualified to offer counseling to strangers over the net? What is your professional background? Hours of Montel, Sally, and Oprah don't quite cut it.
__________________
"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti."
- Sophia Loren



Fleeting Fancies
ThatFatGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 05:27 PM   #11
ThatFatGirl
Why am I still here?
 
ThatFatGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I'm lost.
Posts: 3,553
ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.ThatFatGirl has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

P.S. - Welcome to the Boards...
__________________
"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti."
- Sophia Loren



Fleeting Fancies
ThatFatGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 05:58 PM   #12
johnlucas
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 18
johnlucas has said some nice things
Question what's up with all this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatFatGirl
Why don't you start all over again and tell us about YOU...

Did you take a chubby girl to the prom?

Have you ever actually gotten a woody over a fat girl herself.. you know, the person?


What compels you to try to be a savior to so many? This is a hobby for you?

Do you really think you're qualified to offer counseling to strangers over the net? What is your professional background? Hours of Montel, Sally, and Oprah don't quite cut it.
Wow, very strange.
Why is everybody so defensive around here?
I'm just a regular man offering my perspective, OK?
Like everybody else.
If you take that stance then nobody should go to support groups like these for feedback or counsel. We should only share these issues with psychologists & psychiatrists. Professional people. Qualified.

Yeah, I like large women. Strike that. I LOVE large women. There's this big girl at work who turns me on who comes in every morning. And I've even vouched for her to her boss about her qualifications on the job because I felt she was getting shafted. She was supposed to be a supervisor. (it worked out in the end though)

No, I WOULDN'T hide the fact that I love fat women from anybody & I've told many people in the open about this.
I wouldn't pull the date in secret/deny in public routine.
Is that verification enough for you?
Is this part of some hazing ritual I'm going through here?

I didn't go to the prom so I can't answer that question outside of yes I WOULD have taken a fat girl & *believe me* not out of pity.

A savior? I'm just trying to help people. Is that wrong?
Should I just be callous & not care about anybody but myself?

I remember having a short friend who now that I look back on it years later had some serous issues with his height. Knowing what I know now I coulda gave him some advice to help him overcome that.
I'm not short so I had no way of knowing the depths of his complex. I only heard him talk about it pejoratively from time to time & he drunk heavily often. He said on occasion that his sister got the good genes.
He was ALSO fat as well & took after his short & stout dark-haired mother (he basically looked like the male version of his mother) while his sister took after their leaner taller blonder father.

Perhaps this led to what could have been a secret depression that caused him to drink a lot. Then again perhaps he just liked to get drunk but maybe if I knew what I know now I could have offered some hope for him & to help him not beat up on himself so much.

Studying the issues is what I termed a hobby. Is that a problem?
I called it a hobby because I'm not doing this for a school paper or an article in print or even getting paid for my time studying the subject.
So YES I would call it a hobby.

Trying to help people from the knowledge I've picked up in my hobby is NOT a hobby. The hobby is the studying.

I've found myself mesmerized by many heavy girls who I worked with & crossed paths with. I'm attracted to many types of women but one of these types is DEFINITELY the BBW.

You know I think I'm learning something else right now.
I've seen this in Measurection.com, the site for small-genitaled men.

Some of the men there seem similarly defensive or resentful toward the WOMEN who post there. As if the woman is an outsider & encroaching on their turf. Even heard some go so far as to say that they would rather not hear from women at all on that site. And no these weren't the gay guys.

I think it's the same theme. Distrust. I get the feeling some of you think I'm trolling this site. Do these posts I put up look like a troll to you???

I've read recently some of the guys here post about the friction between Fat Admirers & Big Beautiful Women. The women are sort of resistant & defensive towards the presence of the FA's to the bewilderment of the FA's.
Like I posted in the top of this thread.
The BHM who got a little antsy & distrustful when the FFA, Female Fat Admirer fancied him.

In case you're wondering, NO, I don't just see you as walking parcels of fat.
What did I say? I said women, didn't I? And if I only saw you as parcels the quality of my posts would not be the same.

I'd just be coming here drooling & talking like a caveman. Or like Homer Simpson "Faaaat...ARGHGHGHGLLGHGLLL."

But no you didn't hear that from me so what's with all this third degree?
I know there are some people out there who misled you in the past but it benefits nobody if you instantly distrust every newcomer to the scene.

If you don't like my unusual interest in studying the self-image subject I'm sorry but this is of interest to me. I want to understand it for myself. And hopefully end some of it.

And if you think the boundaries of my knowledge end with the talk shows then you obviously didn't read all the way through.
That's was my entry into this interest.

Are there any LESS hostile people on this forum I can talk to?
God!
John Lucas
johnlucas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 06:29 PM   #13
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Thanks for the reply, John. I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of being studied, by you or anyone else. Flags are still waving for me, but I suppose we'll see how things progress.

Btw, I hope you'll ask for our permission before you share our posts with another, unrelated board. Yes, these are public posts - but...

Quote:
I HATE the phrase: "That's just the way it is." I don't believe in that & I don't accept that.
A word of caution here. Your enthusiasm and passion could possibly be viewed by some as a tad overbearing. Personally, I tend to bristle when new people come in and try to dictate how they think things should be. Your mileage may vary.

I hope you have fun here.
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 06:31 PM   #14
GWARrior
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,918
GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!GWARrior has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnlucas

Are there any LESS hostile people on this forum I can talk to?
God!
John Lucas
Some people just enjoy being hostile.

However, Im not one of them. Welcome!
GWARrior is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 06:46 PM   #15
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

...*blinks*...
mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 07:10 PM   #16
johnlucas
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 18
johnlucas has said some nice things
Talking No, no, no

Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaNY
Thanks for the reply, John. I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of being studied, by you or anyone else. Flags are still waving for me, but I suppose we'll see how things progress.

Btw, I hope you'll ask for our permission before you share our posts with another, unrelated board. Yes, these are public posts - but...


A word of caution here. Your enthusiasm and passion could possibly be viewed by some as a tad overbearing. Personally, I tend to bristle when new people come in and try to dictate how they think things should be. Your mileage may vary.

I hope you have fun here.
NOW I understand the misreading!
No, no, no.
I've NEVER shared or posted anybody's POSTS from here, no.

I just talked about the movement in general.
The fact that it exists, that's all.
People are not aware that there's any Fat Acceptance movement & I simply verified its existence.

I would never do nothing like that.
And I'm no dictator.
Just see how I post in the future. How's that?

(usually they greet me with flowers when I arrive to new forums *sigh* )
an embattled John Lucas
johnlucas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 07:19 PM   #17
Miss Vickie
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,988
Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Welcome, John.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I think some of the problem you're facing is the perception that you're talking down to us, as though from some higher place. Maybe that's not your intention, but that's how I read your post, initially, and I have to admit it raised my hackles a bit. Having comeone come in, an outsider, if you will (and not even a fat one who's experienced what we have experienced), telling us what to do/how to be/ etc is a little irritating to some of us. You haven't lived in a fat body -- or had a tiny penis (I suppose), or been a woman with small breasts, large labia or any of the other groups you've tried to help -- and so it feels weird, at least to me, to have you tell me how I should act, as a fat woman, in relationships, something I've had 40+ years of experience DOING.

And I have to ask, what as an amateur "studier" of fringe groups, qualifies you to help us? And why do you think we need help? See what I mean? It just feels a little ... um... pedantic to me, I guess. Some guy coming in, admitting he's an amateur but that we're his hobby and he wants to help us. It just rubs me the wrong way, which is unfortunate because I suspect you are actually a very caring individual. I just can't get past the feeling that I'm being talked down to, or set up, or something.

I think we're pretty receptive to new people here, John. It's just that having someone come in who wants to "study" us and "help" us makes us feel less than the wonderful beings we are. And it probably makes some of us think less of you. Why not get to know us as people? That's how you get chicks, you know, not by studying us.
Miss Vickie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 07:29 PM   #18
Jes
is oddly aroused
 
Jes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 12,553
Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

The JohnLucas doesn't like his eggs runny!

Hi, Hasselhof!
Jes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 07:38 PM   #19
saucywench
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes
The JohnLucas doesn't like his eggs runny!

Hi, Hasselhof!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 07:55 PM   #20
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

*looks around*

who is bashing the large labia??..huh?..huh???..HUH??!!??

Let my people go!!!!

Vickie..great post
mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 08:39 PM   #21
Tina
Older and wiser now
 
Tina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 15,215
Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Large labia, Vick???

I confess, I couldn't bring myself to do anything beyond a light scan of his post.
__________________
"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
Tina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 08:56 PM   #22
johnlucas
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 18
johnlucas has said some nice things
Unhappy hold on, hold on, hold on

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Vickie
Welcome, John.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I think some of the problem you're facing is the perception that you're talking down to us, as though from some higher place. Maybe that's not your intention, but that's how I read your post, initially, and I have to admit it raised my hackles a bit. Having comeone come in, an outsider, if you will (and not even a fat one who's experienced what we have experienced), telling us what to do/how to be/ etc is a little irritating to some of us. You haven't lived in a fat body -- or had a tiny penis (I suppose), or been a woman with small breasts, large labia or any of the other groups you've tried to help -- and so it feels weird, at least to me, to have you tell me how I should act, as a fat woman, in relationships, something I've had 40+ years of experience DOING.

And I have to ask, what as an amateur "studier" of fringe groups, qualifies you to help us? And why do you think we need help? See what I mean? It just feels a little ... um... pedantic to me, I guess. Some guy coming in, admitting he's an amateur but that we're his hobby and he wants to help us. It just rubs me the wrong way, which is unfortunate because I suspect you are actually a very caring individual. I just can't get past the feeling that I'm being talked down to, or set up, or something.

I think we're pretty receptive to new people here, John. It's just that having someone come in who wants to "study" us and "help" us makes us feel less than the wonderful beings we are. And it probably makes some of us think less of you. Why not get to know us as people? That's how you get chicks, you know, not by studying us.
*sigh*
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
If that's how I'm comng across that's not my intention.
I posted those links from current threads just relating a few of the obstacles still facing fat people in regards to acceptance.

I was not telling people what they should or should not do.

See this one?
"How do you convince him he's hot?"
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ead.php?t=5766
The woman wanted some advice on how to help a fat man she liked understand that she really liked him. The man still caught up in society's stigma doesn't trust her motives. That's all I was saying. He thinks she may be putting him on or making a joke of him. "LoveBHMS" said right in her post:

Quote:
He never believed me. Never 'thought of himself as gorgeous'. Was not used to a woman telling him how attractive he was. His lack of confidence was so sad...he was the most wonderful man ever. It ended and i'm miserable.

How do other ladies deal with a man that doesn't believe you when you tell him how amazingly hot he is? How do you deal with the greater and greater frustration of admiring somebody that does not think you should admire them?
I was just pointing out some obstacles still to overcome in this struggle that's all.

And this one:
"Dating someone because of or despite their size"
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ead.php?t=8449

The comments in here reminiscent of what big breasted women feel when a person dates them solely for their features. The inverse talking about size being settled for in favor of personality. A variety of comments all throughout the post on the issue from a range of perspectives on the issue.

I read a post earlier which I did not link from FA's who felt blocked out for stating their preference. How they didn't want to scare off the woman. Being an FA was almost a repellant. It was similar to the story of the FFA above.

I was just saying these kinds of things were still issues. That's all.
And that once those were gone the movement will have fully succeeded in its goals.
I was just relating. I never said ALL FAT PEOPLE WILL DO THIS & ALL FAT PEOPLE WILL DO THAT.

I was just introducing my history of what led me to this group. Just a little background. Trying to display my understanding of some of the phenomena.
Like I ALWAYS do everytime I enter a new forum.
I'm not gonna always be talking like this on every issue.

We all study each other just by posting here. We get insight on people's thoughts & feelings. Studying people comes naturally. Everything you say registers into people's understanding. They learn about you the more you say.
It's not like I'm turning you into a Nat'l Geographic special. No, that's not my purpose.

Yes, I DO want to understand some things that go on in a fat person's development. Fat camp & stuff like that. Issues with clothing styles. I wanna learn. But that's not my whole purpose here.

The fact that I DON'T have a small-penis & that I'm NOT a woman & that I DON'T have small-breasts, large labia, etc. makes it all the MORE important for me to learn. How can acceptance come about without understanding?

Why SHOULD I be an outsider? Do I HAVE to be fat to post here?
Are skinny people not accepted here?

See? Everybody misunderstands. I DID NOT SAY the people were my hobby. I just said STUDYING THE ISSUES was my hobby.

You distrust me & I don't know why.
I came here to learn, OK? And see if I can add another perspective to the table like everyone else. If someone comes to me seeking help then I'll give my views but I'm not gonna be overbearing dictating to everybody what to do & what not to do.

If you all think I was talking down to you, that's not what I was doing.
And that greet with flowers thing was just a gag.

I just got here. I will learn about you as people as we go along & post together like in every forum. And you will learn about me a person too & not this scary ivory tower outsider people seem to think I am.

I don't know how you all got that from my post.
When I learned about issues from different groups of people I was better equipped to help those who needed advice.
In a now-defunct site SallyLiplady.com, which celebrated large female genitalia & social issues related to that, a girl was panicked about how her boyfriend would see her. I posted on that site for the pics & the commeraderie of the community. With a helping of understanding the issue & the prejudice. She liked what I said on there (webmaster Sally put my letter to her on front page of site) & asked me my viewpoint in private. And I related my views to her & she felt better about herself.
But I wasn't going around trying to advise those who didn't need it.

And I'm not gonna do it here.
All I'm gonna do is read, learn, say a few words to enrichen the discussion & if someone wants me to elaborate to them personally I'll do that.
And certainly wasn't telling them what to do.

I said so many times in that intro how proud I am of you all. You are strong people. I admire you all. And I think the movement is beautiful that's why I tell so many people about it (not your posts, just the existence of the movement). You overcame a steep hill placed by society & are overcoming everyday. Nobody can tell you you are worthless. Nobody can break your spirit. I admire that, everybody. That makes me happy.

Well I guess I'm gonna be the misunderstood one around here so I better get used to it.
To those who understood what my intro was about, thank you.
Apologies for offending anybody who misred my intentions.
John Lucas
johnlucas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 08:58 PM   #23
SoVerySoft
No fat no flavor
 
SoVerySoft's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 11,225
SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.SoVerySoft has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina
...I confess, I couldn't bring myself to do anything beyond a light scan of his post.

Likewise...
__________________
"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best --" and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. - A.A. Milne
SoVerySoft is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 09:13 PM   #24
grey1969
On Timeout
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 121
grey1969 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesgrey1969 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

Welcome back Vince........................ Uh, I mean welcome John
grey1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2006, 09:21 PM   #25
ScreamingChicken
One of 50,298
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,542
ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!ScreamingChicken keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Well, no one can accuse this place of being boring, that's for sure.
ScreamingChicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:55 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.