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Old 07-28-2011, 12:17 AM   #1
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Default Darker aspects of fat fetishism.

I wanted to open up a dialogue to see if any one is interested in the darker aspects of fat fetishism. Please respect that this thread may be offensive to those that are against this and please do not participate if this is you.

The first subject I would like to bring up is fat humiliation.

Does anyone here enjoy this? By humiliation I mean using taunts, teasing or actual physical experiences such as forced exercise to see how fat and/or unfit a fat person is, having them wear badly fitting clothes in public or maybe degrading a lover for eating too much (obviously whilst liking it too).

Do any of the BBW/BHM enjoy the thought of being chastised by someone like a gym intructor or doctor? Even just for role play?

Do you have any experience or desire to do any of this?
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Old 07-28-2011, 01:30 AM   #2
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I have experience with all of the above. It's enjoyable for me only when done with a willing partner, knowing that he is also turned on by it.

I wouldn't at all say that any of that is "dark" because the other person is getting off on it. I've been asked to do all of those things; I've been encouraged to name call and had a BHM show off how small his clothes were and tell me about experiences where he got winded climbing a flight of stairs or being unable to find clothes that fit.

The key thing for me in those situations is that I was enjoying the fact that he was turned on as well, both by having gained weight AND by showing off to an FA. I think exhibitionism can play a part with this fetish and so some people love showing those things off to an equally turned on partner.
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Old 07-28-2011, 01:56 AM   #3
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I hadn't really considered the exhibitionism aspect of it, but I suppose you're right. A lot of it is about showing off your fatness and the effects that fatness can bring.

I wouldn't really consider it as dark, I just believe some people would. It goes against the fluffy fat admiration that we see a lot. It certainly is a bit darker than that.

What about people who would enjoy this from someone who wasn't an FA? Would anybody here like that? Or do any FA enjoy seeing fat people humiliated by circumstance or someone else if they didn't know the if the person enjoyed it or not?
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Old 07-28-2011, 02:39 AM   #4
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I can't speak for other FA, but I personally can't get turned on if I see somebody being unhappy or uncomfortable.If a fat person hates being fat, is angry or frustrated over a limitation, or is embarrassed by something like not fitting in a booth, it's not a turnon.It has definitely happened to me where I'll see a fat guy and think his body is sexy, and then see him be unable to move as quickly as he wants, or get winded too quickly while exercising, and it's immediately not hot anymore.

In other words, if the fat guy isn't getting off on being fat, neither am I.
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Old 07-28-2011, 06:05 AM   #5
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I've chatted with people who--at least theoretically--get a charge out of non-FA humiliation related to being fat....fantasizing about things like shopping in a store and asking for a larger size to be brought to the change room, only to be told there is no larger size, or going to the beach and finding that they couldn't walk back up the sandy slope without help. However, I don't know if they'd really enjoy anything like that in reality, or just the fantasy of it.
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Old 08-07-2011, 06:18 AM   #6
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Humiliation is definitely a turn on for me. Public humiliation less so because it reminds me too much of actual negative experiences I've had although I don't rule it out completely. I like to be teased, degraded a little.. someone telling me I'm getting too fat, eating too much, being called a pig, etc.

As I've gotten older and gotten more involved in the fetish I've gotten more into "concepts." Initially the hottest thing you could say to me was you're so fat, I can't wait until you're 500 pounds but as I get more into the fetish the hottest thing you could say to me continues to get darker and more conceptual.. more complicated scenario, more thought and emotion behind it. As an example, being called a pig is hot but the concept of being tied up in someones house and treated like an animal is hotter (to me, at least.) Do you guys know what I mean?

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Old 08-07-2011, 11:50 AM   #7
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Old 08-07-2011, 04:22 PM   #8
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I'm not into humiliation or any of that, for the most part, but definitely cool with it if my partner wants it. Tying someone up and shoving cake in them until they're crying in pain is something that I would never do unless it's turning them on, in which case it would be pretty fucking hot, I think.
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Old 08-11-2011, 02:18 AM   #9
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Humiliation is definitely a turn on for me. Public humiliation less so because it reminds me too much of actual negative experiences I've had although I don't rule it out completely. I like to be teased, degraded a little.. someone telling me I'm getting too fat, eating too much, being called a pig, etc.

As I've gotten older and gotten more involved in the fetish I've gotten more into "concepts." Initially the hottest thing you could say to me was you're so fat, I can't wait until you're 500 pounds but as I get more into the fetish the hottest thing you could say to me continues to get darker and more conceptual.. more complicated scenario, more thought and emotion behind it. As an example, being called a pig is hot but the concept of being tied up in someones house and treated like an animal is hotter (to me, at least.) Do you guys know what I mean?
You know it's refreshing to see a female admit this, I see a lot of guys admitting to it but good to see a lady so open about it. Seems like its kind of a taboo thing for alot of people, and like we SHOULDN'T be turned on by these things as females.... I don't hear it expressed very much in the community (Unless you count the paysite board that is)

As for me, it depends. There are certain times it can be hot. I couldn't want to be degraded in public either, or be embarrassed about trying on clothes or working out etc. I had to go through that enough as a kid/teen and it wasn't fun then and wouldn't be fun now lol. However some kinky fat talk during intimacy with your partner is hot to me. Outside of the bedroom not so much, for me anyway. If my partner were to tell me 'Don't eat that unless you want to get fat you piggy' while we were out at dinner I would probably hurl my food at him....but during sex completely different story. ::shruggs::
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Old 08-11-2011, 02:47 AM   #10
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For me, it depends on the situation and the true feelings of my partner. When there's a sexual/affectionate undertone to the teasing, and it's done intimately, I adore it. But public humiliation or being mocked by someone who genuinely has contempt for me is nothing short of traumatizing. I could never go to a doctor or gym and get off on people's disapproval, knowing that it's real.

When it turns them on though, and they genuinely desire me beneath their admonition, it's incredibly erotic. It plays into my submissive side and makes me feel like someone's girl or pet.

I've never tried any hardcore roleplaying though, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about the kind of dark fantasies that disguise that adoration, or are solely a blend of contempt and sexual fervour. The idea turns me on, but ideas are almost always an entirely different experience in reality.
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Old 08-11-2011, 04:47 AM   #11
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My parter and I are into role play humiliation and we incorporate real life experiences into our role plays so they have a "real life" feeling and for the most part, are real and it gets us both crazy. She loves being told how naughty she is for having let her self go and gain weight, and for overeating and not being able to fit into her clothes anymore and I love whispering these degrading comments in her ear and being more vocal as well. She enjoys being spanked for eating like a piggie when we go out for a nice dinner and she'll even tease me at the table while we are eating by telling me how fat she feels as she continues to eat fattening foods and will sometimes ask me to reach under the table to feel how fat her gut is--all of which creates a spike of build up that when we get back home, we are like two wild animals that have just broken out of a cage. We also do diet role plays where she blows her diet and gets scolded and spanked for her lack of will power and this scene creates peak arousal for both of us, in part, because she really does go on diets in the hope of loosing some weight, but she can't resist temptation and ends up blowing her diet, calling me to tell me and then that forms the basis of another fantastic role play. This works for us and has definitely become more intense the more we do it and we can't imagine life without this element anymore.
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:24 AM   #12
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Em, I wouldn't call this aspects of fetishism, just aspects of human sexuality. There's an incredible variety of fantasy scenarios that get people going, and often they have no idea where they come from, or why they can be so fascinating.

In almost all cases, though, there is a very strict separation of fantasy and reality. The fantasy stops when the sex play is over, and it stays in the bedroom. It's clearly understood that it's a fantasy to indulge in, and other than a bit of potential embarrassment and blushing if it's brought up between partners outside of those confines, there are no repercussions.

What you are talking about is very different insofar as it is not just some fantasy concept that's unrelated to real life. It's quite the opposite. Something that is the bane of many fat people's existence can have deeply sexual components, but the very nature of it also makes it a total minefield. It is actually not as uncommon as one might think, but it's usually baffling even to those who seek it and enjoy it.

The danger is that thrill and hurt are so very close, and the borderline can shift in an instance. Which means that partners must be extremely clear in understanding what goes and what doesn't, which is especially difficult here because of reluctance to talk about it and because of the sheer inability to understand even one's own views.

Since the potential for damage is great, it's crucial to be upfront about the fantasy. That goes for most fantasies between partners, but it's especially important here.
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Old 08-11-2011, 05:20 PM   #13
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As for me, it depends. There are certain times it can be hot. I couldn't want to be degraded in public either, or be embarrassed about trying on clothes or working out etc. I had to go through that enough as a kid/teen and it wasn't fun then and wouldn't be fun now lol. However some kinky fat talk during intimacy with your partner is hot to me. Outside of the bedroom not so much, for me anyway. If my partner were to tell me 'Don't eat that unless you want to get fat you piggy' while we were out at dinner I would probably hurl my food at him....but during sex completely different story. ::shruggs::
Yeah, I feel pretty much the same way. It's all about context. I don't enjoy anyone that isn't my partner saying these things to me and I don't enjoy when my partner says them at an inappropriate time. I'm not necessarily against them saying it at dinner if were out on a date alone together like as foreplay.. but I wouldn't want that announcement made at a family dinner party by any means. Humiliation isn't hot if I'm legitimately hurt or embarrassed by something.
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Old 08-11-2011, 05:37 PM   #14
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Yes, certain aspects of it are appealing, but as most have mentioned - it's all about the time and place. If I'm with an FA who I know likes and respects me, but while we're doing it he wants to call me fat names, or tease me that I'm getting too fat, or while I'm eating something taunt me about it (even the random "fattie" comments from a sexual partner, it's hot to me depending on how it's really said, if it's really observed) - ALL GOOD. It's a hot component shared between two people.

Just randomly subjected to it, without feeling safe and comfy with the person, understanding where their head is.... no, I wouldn't want that or enjoy it at all. But I'm not going to judge someone who is, everyone's got their things.
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Old 08-12-2011, 05:42 AM   #15
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As I have grown more comfortable with my size and also grown older, what people might think about my weight really is not of concern to me. Given this comfort level, I am more open about even mocking myself a little. For instance, whenever I go into a restaurant, I openly ask for a table vs. a booth and say to the waitress: "I'm too fat for a booth, could I have a table please?". I find saying those words in public now to be a bit of a turn on. I have often asked friends to switch from a booth to a table after seated because I am squeezed in with a similar comment. And when a friend or associate who I have not seen for a while comments on my bigger size or pats my belly (it has happened quite often) with the comment "My your looking healthy", I also find that a bit of a turn-on as well.

And yes, I even am turned on by my doctor's comments. When I have my annual physical, I look find I look forward to the doctor commenting on how I have gained more weight instead of losing it. When she presses on my stomach to examine my inner organs and says "You really should lose some of this", I bit of a thrill goes through my brain. I always pledge to lose weight before the next examimation but then find myself putting on some more pounds instead and looking forward to her gently scolding me about my gain.

I find it very curious and refreshing in a sense that after spending most of my life dreading what people think, I now actually enjoy "a little humiliation" and openly embrace it. I don't know why that is exactly, but it has made for a much more enjoyable life.
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Old 08-12-2011, 05:56 AM   #16
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I'm sorry I hadn't noticed the thread had been added too. Very interesting comments though. I've found as I've got older and more into this the senarios that I crave seem to get darker and more bizarre. Like thatgirl08, it started off very simple but over time has got considerably more dark.
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Old 08-12-2011, 08:33 AM   #17
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Yes, certain aspects of it are appealing, but as most have mentioned - it's all about the time and place. ...
I think almost everyone agrees on this. But again, it's a very delicate issue. In essence, one wrong word at the wrong time has the potential of doing serious damage, even if people know each other quite well.

For fat people, getting turned on by fantasy scenarios as described can very quickly turn into something damaging and negative. And FAs may find themselves either bewildered if a) they participate to please but really aren't ever sure where the boundaries lie, or b) they are into it themselves, but fear it may be thrown back at them and they're being accused of being objectifying or hateful rather than true FAs. FAs are being taught to be extra respectful and sensitive about fat people's feelings, and so playing out scenarios where an FA does the exact opposite requires a large leap of faith no matter where and what.

This is absolutely not a scenario where one can assume anything. It must be thought through, and it must be openly discussed with a partner so that it is abundantly clear what goes and what not. This is not a situation to be coy or vague.
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Old 08-12-2011, 09:08 AM   #18
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I think almost everyone agrees on this. But again, it's a very delicate issue. In essence, one wrong word at the wrong time has the potential of doing serious damage, even if people know each other quite well.

For fat people, getting turned on by fantasy scenarios as described can very quickly turn into something damaging and negative. And FAs may find themselves either bewildered if a) they participate to please but really aren't ever sure where the boundaries lie, or b) they are into it themselves, but fear it may be thrown back at them and they're being accused of being objectifying or hateful rather than true FAs. FAs are being taught to be extra respectful and sensitive about fat people's feelings, and so playing out scenarios where an FA does the exact opposite requires a large leap of faith no matter where and what.

This is absolutely not a scenario where one can assume anything. It must be thought through, and it must be openly discussed with a partner so that it is abundantly clear what goes and what not. This is not a situation to be coy or vague.
Very very well said. I have been reading this thread with wide eyes and open mouth. No judgement -- it simply didn't even occur to me that such play existed. Personally, I would lose my shit if anyone close to me made hurtful/humiliating comments about my size (that's just me). And, to each their own, so it's all good. But reading this, I got to wondering -- how would I feel if I had a partner that was into this and wanted my participation? Could I? Would I? I don't know. But I do know that if I were to tread, it would be carefully. I would need to be very clear on what was expected, welcomed, and not. As Webmaster said, I think this could be extremely damaging (for someone such as myself).

Really interesting though. This thread has me thinking...
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Old 08-13-2011, 07:49 AM   #19
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I too find this thread fascinating and an enjoyable and interesting read. I agree with everything that has been said, particularly with the notion that if the "negative" comment is said by a stranger or with the clear intent to humiliate, it is not a good thing. But if done by two willing partners as part of foreplay or a loving relationship, like BostonBBWLuv described, I find that to be incredibly hot!! I would love to have a relationship like that where we could continously tease each other about being fat and gaining weight. Just the thought of it turns me on immensely.
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Old 08-20-2011, 06:11 AM   #20
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Although it has taken probably 15 years to get into, explore and come to terms with it, I am absolutely into humiliation & teasing.

Like some of the posters here who find the whole thing unthinkable, I was shocked at one time to find this was appealing to anyone... gradually, exploring thru gentle fantasy play with trusted partners, the taboo seemed to evaporate. Now I feel like I own it, it is mine, and I no longer fear it.

Teasing has morphed and grown into more elaborate role playing, and I've found it really does add another level to my sex life.


Great thread, I'm really enjoying it!
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Old 08-20-2011, 02:31 PM   #21
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I have a question for the women who posted about enjoying humiliation. Do you enjoy being fat ? Is there any sexual aspect to your size or did you intentionally gain weight ?

The reason I'm asking is that it seems like that if you really didn't enjoy being fat that the humiliation would feel justified. In other words, it seems like the humiliation would only be fun if you possibly secretly enjoyed being fat.

Also, is the humiliation only size based or can it be about anything and have you engaged in any other total or partial power exchange activities ? Crystal has made some comments that lead me to believe that she would be interested in D/s, M/s, O/p dynamic but doesn't really know the terminology to ask for it. She told me she wanted me to control her once and on a different occasion that she wanted me to be disappointed in her when she didn't do something during the day. I'm not a controlling type so that would be really new for me.
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Old 08-20-2011, 03:56 PM   #22
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I have a question for the women who posted about enjoying humiliation. Do you enjoy being fat ? Is there any sexual aspect to your size or did you intentionally gain weight ?

The reason I'm asking is that it seems like that if you really didn't enjoy being fat that the humiliation would feel justified. In other words, it seems like the humiliation would only be fun if you possibly secretly enjoyed being fat.

Also, is the humiliation only size based or can it be about anything and have you engaged in any other total or partial power exchange activities ? Crystal has made some comments that lead me to believe that she would be interested in D/s, M/s, O/p dynamic but doesn't really know the terminology to ask for it. She told me she wanted me to control her once and on a different occasion that she wanted me to be disappointed in her when she didn't do something during the day. I'm not a controlling type so that would be really new for me.
That wouldn't necessarily have anything to do with humiliation. To me that's more a punishment/reward situation. Both the punishment for being bad, and reward for being good can take any form you both agree on.

As for humiliation in general. I think we could spend lots of hours trying to dissect it and still not understand it. No point in trying. I have tried to figure out why guys who are into humiliation often want it to take the form of dressing like a woman and being called a little bitch. I only kind of understand it. Gives me headaches trying to figure it out too.

As for fat humiliation, I don't think it matters one iota whether the person likes or hate being fat. These things are what they are.
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Old 08-20-2011, 04:27 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
That wouldn't necessarily have anything to do with humiliation. To me that's more a punishment/reward situation. Both the punishment for being bad, and reward for being good can take any form you both agree on.

As for humiliation in general. I think we could spend lots of hours trying to dissect it and still not understand it. No point in trying. I have tried to figure out why guys who are into humiliation often want it to take the form of dressing like a woman and being called a little bitch. I only kind of understand it. Gives me headaches trying to figure it out too.

As for fat humiliation, I don't think it matters one iota whether the person likes or hate being fat. These things are what they are.
Yeah, the bolded part was kinda disjointed from the rest of the question, more about the other aspects of BDSM stuff. I know for a fact she is not into any form of humiliation.

Last edited by Fat Brian; 08-20-2011 at 04:57 PM.
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Old 12-06-2013, 02:12 PM   #24
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Default Interesting thread

I've never really thought of myself as being into any form of humiliation. However, over time I've come to learn that it's more interesting than I thought.

Two key words: Comfort and Intention

I believe that your partner has to be comfortable with, for example, being fat to be humiliated about it at all and as our webmaster has so poignantly stated that there is an extent that varies with regard to their level of comfort and your partner herself may not even be sure where that is, so you must be very very careful.
This level of comfort may take years for an individual to cultivate. I remember dating a bbw who was once a plus size model and she was still getting used to the idea of being "fat" instead of just curvy. After some time and a lot of reassurance I remembered just how hot it was for her to grab my hands and place it on her belly which previously had been a no touch zone. I think that took a lot of confidence on her part. I believe my constant enthusiasm for her larger curves didn't hurt either! .
On the other side, as the FA, I believe your energy about the context of the humiliation is crucial. I think for a BBW to even consider allowing you to role play any type of humiliation fantasy would require a large amount of trust. This is where intent comes in. If you truly love and admire her "fat" then it would have an energy of praise behind your behavior towards her and she will sense that. This positive vibe takes time and her sense of your enjoyment of her will have a positive bias if any; sometimes this may be so strong that she will trust you not only to enjoy her "fat" but that she may become open to some darker sexual fantasies such as humiliation. If you truly hated her for being fat for example I believe very few women would allow you to get this far and if you did I'd see this as very damaging and abusive. Outside of that, with the right amount of trust and genuine positive intent to enjoy your partner in all aspects it can be very rewarding sexually for both partners.
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Old 12-07-2013, 02:31 PM   #25
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As somebody who has always been sort of into humiliation myself, I just had to comment here!

Ever since I was a little kid I have had fantasies of imaginary friends getting playfully teased about their weight and being poked in the belly and such so I guess it is something that has always been there for me. That said, people making even slightly negative comments about my size to me tends to make me go rather off the deep end and do me some considerable psychological damage. But being teased by a partner? That is hot to me but it has to be quite gentle and with love and affection rather than anything negative. It is the intention that makes all the different between 'this is hot' and 'this is traumatising'.

As far as humiliating other people is concerned I do find the idea hot but again, only if it is very gentle teasing and if my partner feels the same way. I would never tease somebody that I didn't have a strong bond of love and adoration with.

I think the key thing for me is that it is a fantasy. I like reading stories about characters getting embarrassed or humiliated but I wouldn't enjoy that in real life and watching anybody else talk to someone I care about that way would make me angry and certainly not turned on!
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