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Old 09-08-2011, 02:05 PM   #1
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Default The funniest/most embarrassing moment in the sack?

I think you all know what I'm talking about… Someone ever said something that was supposed to sound romantic or sexy they just came out wrong and made you laugh your ass off? Did something happen at the most inopportune time that just wrecked the mood?

We've all had it happen. I'm just dying to hear the responses! Please share if you dare…
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:38 PM   #2
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-On my knees doing you know what, television is on and "Funny Guy" is showing. The scene where the guy says, "I'm 90% helium" and floats away comes on. I am LMAO hysterically meanwhile trying to focus on pleasuring him. LOL. I had to turn that tv off.

-Doing the deed on the bed and we both fall off the bed. He hits his head on the dresser.
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Old 09-08-2011, 06:32 PM   #3
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Default Porn can really destroy the mood.

My girlfriend and I were watching some skin flick. It always seems like a good idea to enhance the mood or give you new ideas. Typically you stop paying attention to what you're seeing or hearing from the television. This one time I thought our attentions were well on each other when my girlfriend started laughing out, "she's a fucking liar!". I turned around to see what the hell she was talking about. The girl getting drilled on the TV was getting boned in the backside screaming about how good it felt… The guys Dick was about as big as a can of Fosters. The sound of her voice, The look on her face (abject terror)…

The girlfriend and I both had to take a 10 min. break to laugh and watch "How good it felt.".
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Old 09-08-2011, 07:30 PM   #4
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I think we had an oooold thread about this long ago-ish, but mine's simple.

Me and a previous lover found out that a couch in her house had armrests that were PERFECT for her to bend over and everything lined up for effortless doggy-style action. HOWEVER in the middle of this her dog (a loveable pit bull who passed away over a year ago, R.I.P.) moseys on in and proceeds to stick is cold wet nose right up on my buttcheeks. I nearly jumped out of the poor girl, but I somehow managed to shoo the dog away from my hiney and finish the job.
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Old 09-08-2011, 07:37 PM   #5
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I think we had an oooold thread about this long ago-ish, but mine's simple.

Me and a previous lover found out that a couch in her house had armrests that were PERFECT for her to bend over and everything lined up for effortless doggy-style action. HOWEVER in the middle of this her dog (a loveable pit bull who passed away over a year ago, R.I.P.) moseys on in and proceeds to stick is cold wet nose right up on my buttcheeks. I nearly jumped out of the poor girl, but I somehow managed to shoo the dog away from my hiney and finish the job.
The same thing happened with my ex but it was with my (late) cat and he did almost hit the ceiling. I swear that cat was laughing. I know I was.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:02 PM   #6
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-On my knees doing you know what, television is on and "Funny Guy" is showing. The scene where the guy says, "I'm 90% helium" and floats away comes on. I am LMAO hysterically meanwhile trying to focus on pleasuring him. LOL. I had to turn that tv off.

-Doing the deed on the bed and we both fall off the bed. He hits his head on the dresser.
Oops, I meant "Family Guy" haha
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Old 09-13-2011, 01:21 AM   #7
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I was with an ex getting the nasties done. I was between her tiny lil legs (4'11" 140lbs of curvy yumaliciousness) I was beating it up not paying attention to the size/quality of her bed && BOOM!!! The support boards that laid across the rails snapped... We still finished.

With another ex, we were at a town house with our bestie as she was house sitting. We were a lil buzzed && got hot && heavy. We went full force so I set it off. Well I went so rage that I tore the skin that connected from my turtle neck to my wang. There was some blood && a ruined condom... She didn't let me finish cuz she felt bad. She was also 4'11" 160 mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm!!! She was bent over grabbing her ankles, I was standing like I just rode a horse bare back for 9.3 miles. No bueno.

The next day she gave me suck incredible domeskiis that I had an asthma attack && we stole our besties car to go to Sav-On for an inhaler. We finished...

Last one is I feel asleep on my son's mom while she was dome'in me up... She was pissed. It just relaxed the shit outta me I couldn't help it. Like getting scratched or rubbed by someone. Yet again, 4'11" but 95lbs before he was born. See a height pattern here? Lol no happy ending...
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Old 09-13-2011, 03:46 AM   #8
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Once I was whispering about how beautiful she was and really making her feel good. I kept pouring on the compliments and then decided to throw a curveball. It went something like this.

"Your eyes are gorgeous, your hair is flowing, your skin is smooth and you make me want to see the stars, the moon.....*stops*....DA BEARSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"

After I bellowed "Da Bears!" she stopped, did a full facepalm and screamed "RUIIINNEDDDDD!!!"
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Old 09-13-2011, 11:47 AM   #9
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I was beating it up not paying attention to the size/quality of her bed && BOOM!!! The support boards that laid across the rails snapped...
Yeah been there done that!

Its pretty embarassing having your boyfriends mom and his little sister walk in on you, especially when you're on top.
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Old 09-13-2011, 10:06 PM   #10
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Yeah been there done that!

Its pretty embarassing having your boyfriends mom and his little sister walk in on you, especially when you're on top.
It was romantic... I wouldn't let that stop me... I'd have been like "Are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna go grab the video camera!?"
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Old 09-14-2011, 01:51 AM   #11
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One night my ex and I were stoned and having some good times in bed, which was all fine. Afterwards, I got up to go to the toilet and didn't turn the light on. When I tried to climb back into bed in the darkness, I misjudged where the bed was and fell off. That in itself was funny enough, but when I tried to get my balance I put my hand out...and managed to pinch him in the balls. Why my fingers were in pinch position I'll never know, but holy hell it was funny. I ended up falling onto the floor, where I was literally ROFLing.

Maybe not so much for him, but I didn't mean for it to happen! I swear!
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Old 09-14-2011, 06:08 AM   #12
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This was a while back before I found out I'm lactose intolerant & allergic to gluten.

Anyway, he was going down on me and I was having some digestive problems from dinner. I had to fart really bad, but I clenched my butt cheeks as hard as I could and held it in for a while.

That is, until I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had an orgasm and let one rip at the same time.
It was so embarrasing. I was glad he was drunk though, I'm hoping he didn't remember.
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:58 AM   #13
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This was a while back before I found out I'm lactose intolerant & allergic to gluten.

Anyway, he was going down on me and I was having some digestive problems from dinner. I had to fart really bad, but I clenched my butt cheeks as hard as I could and held it in for a while.

That is, until I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had an orgasm and let one rip at the same time.
It was so embarrasing. I was glad he was drunk though, I'm hoping he didn't remember.
ROFL!!! My guess is that if he does remember, it would make him laugh, not think any less of you.

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Old 09-15-2011, 07:43 PM   #14
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I have never farted during the act.

I save it for the traditional "dismount, roll over, fart, and a fall asleep" post-sex routine.
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Old 09-15-2011, 07:43 PM   #15
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Some years ago, when my grandmother was still alive and over for a visit, she got confused as to which door was the bathroom, and which was my bedroom, (the doors were right close) and just kinda walked in during shenanigans.

Luckily, he was doing something that kept him largely under the covers, so it was easily masked.... either that, or my grandmother just pretended not to notice.
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Old 09-22-2011, 07:52 AM   #16
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The first few times I had sex, my partner had two or three orgasms and I realized that I was unable to finish. I just couldn't finish for the life of me. I think she was worried, so about the fourth time we had sex I felt the jolt at the bottom on my cockles, I was so excited because I was going to finish! When I finally did, I let out the most awkward cackle. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so loud and obnoxious that she kind of pushed me back off of her and looked at my puzzled. Looking back, it was really awesomely hilarious.
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Old 09-22-2011, 08:11 AM   #17
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One time I farted. Another time I started my period, but it was embarrassing for me because I was only 19 and the guy was a new guy I was dating and he was totally unsuspecting.
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Old 09-22-2011, 08:37 AM   #18
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I queefed during sex with my ex. I burst out laughing, swearing up and down that I did not fart! I thought it was hilarious, he giggled but then wanted to get back to business. I almost couldnt cause i was laughing too hard.
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Old 09-22-2011, 07:07 PM   #19
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One time, someone got lubricant and toy cleaning solution confused in the dark. That was not good.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:34 PM   #20
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I queefed during sex with my ex. I burst out laughing, swearing up and down that I did not fart! I thought it was hilarious, he giggled but then wanted to get back to business. I almost couldnt cause i was laughing too hard.
Haha god, I hate queefing for this reason. Like I know it happens to everyone at some point and its so NOT a big deal but I can't help laughing every time.

The most embarrassing thing to happen to me is when I elbowed my (now) ex-bf in the face. It was our first time together and we had just started taking each others clothes off, he was getting up to a grab a condom and I was trying to position myself differently and smacked him right in the nose. I kept apologizing.. he was nice about it but I could see his eyes watering!

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Old 09-23-2011, 12:23 AM   #21
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I queefed during sex with my ex. I burst out laughing, swearing up and down that I did not fart! I thought it was hilarious, he giggled but then wanted to get back to business. I almost couldnt cause i was laughing too hard.
I find it hilarious when that happens. It usually happens during doggy if you get the right angle, so it's not my fault that it happens. My ex would sometimes make it happen on purpose, which would have me in fits of giggles.
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Old 09-24-2011, 03:48 AM   #22
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Another time I started my period, but it was embarrassing for me because
This happened to me a couple of times. Aunt flo comes early sometimes, LOL.


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One time, someone got lubricant and toy cleaning solution confused in the dark. That was not good.
Ouch, that must have been rough. Not in a good way though, huh? LOL.
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Old 09-24-2011, 10:00 AM   #23
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One time I farted. Another time I started my period, but it was embarrassing for me because I was only 19 and the guy was a new guy I was dating and he was totally unsuspecting.
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This happened to me a couple of times. Aunt flo comes early sometimes, LOL.
This happened to me once, you should have seen . . . well not the period, but the girl I was with started hers. I was confused, after the deed was done I went to the restroom to clean up and realized I had blood on my penis. I was worried I tore something important fear not ladies, my penis is intact.
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Old 09-24-2011, 03:03 PM   #24
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haha speaking of blood, i was with the fb one night and i was at the very end of my period, so i didnt think it would be too messy. we did lots of naughty things, including anal (fuuunnn!) as soon as we finished, he went to clean up his junk. he came back and asked if he had hurt me, cause he saw blood! poor guy thought he tore up my butt.
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Old 09-25-2011, 02:42 AM   #25
SerenityValkyrie
 
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Mobile, AL
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SerenityValkyrie can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesSerenityValkyrie can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
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As a Freshman in college, I started dating this Japanese guy and we both decided to have sex for the first time. We were both our first time partners so it was pretty special until...when he stuck it in I couldn't feel anything, then I asked, "Are you in?" He replies, "He's not fully erected, I'm trying to wake him up." He still stuck it in even though it wasn't fully erected and the whole time I was laughing. I could not believe my first time would turn out like that
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