Single for the first time in years..

Sydney Vicious · 10-01-2011, 01:39 PM

And to be honest, I've completely forgotten how to date.

so.. mini back story...

I was with my ex for over three and a half years, and I recently became single again after I found out he had been cheating on me for about three months. I'm still really wavy and in and out between being completely numb, screaming angry, and absolutely heartbroken. I feel almost like it was a total waste, and pretty used as I realized he would go out and cheat and come home acting like nothing happened.

SO

once the healing and whatnot happens, how in the hell does a girl go on a date?! I'm totally lost but I'm determined to not let this stop me from having fun and meeting new, better people.

Help a sister out!

InkedPrincess · 10-02-2011, 11:24 AM

I can relate! After 10 years of being with someone I'm trying to discover the ways of the dating world. Things sure have changed! All the game playing and time wasting is growing old.

I need an instruction manual

LovelyLiz · 10-06-2011, 12:05 AM

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak - what a really shitty situation, SV.

Is your question about dating more about finding dates, or more about what to do on the date?

Sydney Vicious · 10-06-2011, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcbeth

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak - what a really shitty situation, SV.

Is your question about dating more about finding dates, or more about what to do on the date?

Thanks, I'll be ok in time, it's just really strange.

My question is sort of about both! The entire idea of 'dating' just seems goofy haha

mrniceguy33710 · 10-06-2011, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydney Vicious

Thanks, I'll be ok in time, it's just really strange.

My question is sort of about both! The entire idea of 'dating' just seems goofy haha

I feel for you....I'm single for the first time in 30 years and the internet didn't exist the last time I was in the dating scene.

mimosa · 10-06-2011, 09:41 AM

I was with someone for 17 years. The last years were on and off. Until now we are finally divorcing.

I try not to focus on dating. It's just too much pressure to think that way. Instead, I am just getting to know people on a deeper level. Hopefully make a good friend. If something romantic develops, I am open to it. If nothing happens, then its okay. At least I can say I made a good friend.
I know when the right person and right situation come along...it will be a natural thing and it will just happen. In the meantime, its nice to have close friendships. That is satisfying to me.

Pinktutu · 11-19-2011, 04:51 PM

I'm almost done finalizing my divorce after 17 years of marriage and almost 2 years of separation. I'd like to just find people to hang out with and maybe eventually meet someone special and see what develops

Mayla · 12-09-2011, 08:21 PM

I know I'm reviving an old thread here, but...well, my problem is more like I've been single *forever.* So long, that I doubt I'd know how to act properly on a date. Lol! I dunno. It just seems as if it's easier to stay single than it is to date at all, with all the hassles surrounding it.

AmyJo1976 · 12-10-2011, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mayla

I know I'm reviving an old thread here, but...well, my problem is more like I've been single *forever.* So long, that I doubt I'd know how to act properly on a date. Lol! I dunno. It just seems as if it's easier to stay single than it is to date at all, with all the hassles surrounding it.

If you want to be with someone and the chance comes along, go for it girl!! Don't think about what would be easier, think about what would make you happy, that's all that truely matters in the end. I wish you the best of luck!!

Mayla · 12-10-2011, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmyJo1976

If you want to be with someone and the chance comes along, go for it girl!! Don't think about what would be easier, think about what would make you happy, that's all that truely matters in the end. I wish you the best of luck!!

Seriously, I need to pounce on that opportunity (takes Opportunity, ties him up, and keeps him around for safe lovin')

AmyJo1976 · 12-10-2011, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mayla

Seriously, I need to pounce on that opportunity (takes Opportunity, ties him up, and keeps him around for safe lovin')

You don't need any advice, just a little nudge in the right direction

bobsjers · 12-12-2011, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mayla

I know I'm reviving an old thread here, but...well, my problem is more like I've been single *forever.* So long, that I doubt I'd know how to act properly on a date. Lol! I dunno. It just seems as if it's easier to stay single than it is to date at all, with all the hassles surrounding it.

When the right person comes around, you'll enjoy it too much to worry about it. And all the toads you kiss will be worth it when your prince comes.

RockabillyDoll · 01-02-2012, 11:02 PM

Oh honey do I ever feel your pain. Not to mention the confusion. I don't really know how to get back in the game myself. I'll share my horror story. Someone with a handsome face came in and swept me up into a whirlwind romance. Only he cheated on me constantly. The piece of shit fucker was meeting up with women off craigslist and having unprotected sex with them. To boot, he became abusive in all regards. It took alot to get myself away from his clutches. I have been single for 6-7 years now because what he did was so awful. One day, everything he did to me just fell away like shackles that have been unlocked. My good friend Danielle was telling me about dating FA's and that there's nothing like it. I asked her for more info and she told me to check out the forums here and sign up.

I have been on a couple dates with a great guy who asked for my number after having met each other through a mutual friend. While it didn't go any further than 2 weeks of really wonderful dates, it really helped my confidence and gave me the boost I needed. I don't like playing mind games. I like straight forward honesty.

I started pole dancing a lil over a year ago at Brassy Butterfly here in Portland, OR and that has helped me sooo much with a lil bit of everything really lol. It's helped my self0image and my confidence level quite a bit. Take care of you first and foremost! Take the time to heal yourself first, there's really no rush. I would tell some of your friends that you're looking to start dating again and to have them keep their eyes open for you

. I know I did! It's like having a look-out doing the scouting for you

Also, go do things that you're interested in or want to try. I've learned that if you do the things you like to do/want to do, the chances of meeting someone with similar interests increases ALOT! In all the best ways

Good luck darlin!!
xoxo
Laurelei

10-01-2011, 01:39 PM	#1
Sydney Vicious Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Washington Posts: 322	Single for the first time in years.. And to be honest, I've completely forgotten how to date. so.. mini back story... I was with my ex for over three and a half years, and I recently became single again after I found out he had been cheating on me for about three months. I'm still really wavy and in and out between being completely numb, screaming angry, and absolutely heartbroken. I feel almost like it was a total waste, and pretty used as I realized he would go out and cheat and come home acting like nothing happened. SO once the healing and whatnot happens, how in the hell does a girl go on a date?! I'm totally lost but I'm determined to not let this stop me from having fun and meeting new, better people. Help a sister out! __________________ Locals only bars. ONLY Locals only bars.

10-06-2011, 09:41 AM	#6
mimosa Fluffy Goodness ;-) Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 3,588	I was with someone for 17 years. The last years were on and off. Until now we are finally divorcing. I try not to focus on dating. It's just too much pressure to think that way. Instead, I am just getting to know people on a deeper level. Hopefully make a good friend. If something romantic develops, I am open to it. If nothing happens, then its okay. At least I can say I made a good friend. I know when the right person and right situation come along...it will be a natural thing and it will just happen. In the meantime, its nice to have close friendships. That is satisfying to me. __________________ “Are we just going to sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting?” ― Wolf (Hoodwinked) Last edited by mimosa : 10-06-2011 at 09:44 AM.

11-19-2011, 04:51 PM	#7
Pinktutu Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Fairfield, California Posts: 50	Single I'm almost done finalizing my divorce after 17 years of marriage and almost 2 years of separation. I'd like to just find people to hang out with and maybe eventually meet someone special and see what develops __________________ <3 Karlene

01-02-2012, 11:02 PM	#13
RockabillyDoll Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 12	I have a war story too! :) Oh honey do I ever feel your pain. Not to mention the confusion. I don't really know how to get back in the game myself. I'll share my horror story. Someone with a handsome face came in and swept me up into a whirlwind romance. Only he cheated on me constantly. The piece of shit fucker was meeting up with women off craigslist and having unprotected sex with them. To boot, he became abusive in all regards. It took alot to get myself away from his clutches. I have been single for 6-7 years now because what he did was so awful. One day, everything he did to me just fell away like shackles that have been unlocked. My good friend Danielle was telling me about dating FA's and that there's nothing like it. I asked her for more info and she told me to check out the forums here and sign up. I have been on a couple dates with a great guy who asked for my number after having met each other through a mutual friend. While it didn't go any further than 2 weeks of really wonderful dates, it really helped my confidence and gave me the boost I needed. I don't like playing mind games. I like straight forward honesty. I started pole dancing a lil over a year ago at Brassy Butterfly here in Portland, OR and that has helped me sooo much with a lil bit of everything really lol. It's helped my self0image and my confidence level quite a bit. Take care of you first and foremost! Take the time to heal yourself first, there's really no rush. I would tell some of your friends that you're looking to start dating again and to have them keep their eyes open for you . I know I did! It's like having a look-out doing the scouting for you Also, go do things that you're interested in or want to try. I've learned that if you do the things you like to do/want to do, the chances of meeting someone with similar interests increases ALOT! In all the best ways Good luck darlin!! xoxo Laurelei

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10-02-2011, 11:24 AM	#2
InkedPrincess Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Branford, CT Posts: 4	I can relate! After 10 years of being with someone I'm trying to discover the ways of the dating world. Things sure have changed! All the game playing and time wasting is growing old. I need an instruction manual

10-06-2011, 12:05 AM	#3
LovelyLiz Master Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,278	I'm so sorry for your heartbreak - what a really shitty situation, SV. Is your question about dating more about finding dates, or more about what to do on the date?

12-09-2011, 08:21 PM	#8
Mayla Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Grew up in the Midwest area. Posts: 49	I know I'm reviving an old thread here, but...well, my problem is more like I've been single forever. So long, that I doubt I'd know how to act properly on a date. Lol! I dunno. It just seems as if it's easier to stay single than it is to date at all, with all the hassles surrounding it.