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Old 10-09-2011, 10:05 AM   #1
miss_delany
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
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Question ever feel...

I have always found it hard to find a "love interest". It usually ends up being the fact that I am not skinny enough, but recently it's the fact that I am not big enough. I am constantly stuck in this zone of not feeling like I am good enough or up to anyones standards. I am comfortable enough with myself, why can't anyone else be too?

Anyone else been in this position, as I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this.
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:40 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by miss_delany View Post
I have always found it hard to find a "love interest". It usually ends up being the fact that I am not skinny enough, but recently it's the fact that I am not big enough. I am constantly stuck in this zone of not feeling like I am good enough or up to anyones standards. I am comfortable enough with myself, why can't anyone else be too?

Anyone else been in this position, as I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this.
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:52 PM   #3
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You might find this thread, on the main board, somewhat helpful: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=88145

There have been other discussion on here about feeling too big and too small all at once, but that is the most recent, I think. I hope it helps you some.
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Old 10-14-2011, 01:12 PM   #4
gobettiepurple
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Part of the reason for my as of late leave of absence from this site includes some of the themes that you talk about in your post.

I think that everyone will give you some "everyone is different" type of pep talk, which is completely true. Now, I don't know about you, but I have always felt [for me at least, and I am speaking from my own experience and point of view] that this argument has always left me less than satisfied - it seems like a BS sort of statement.

Upon a lot of reflection over the course of the last few years, I think I am starting to realize that its a larger, systemic problem within me, a fracturing and deep seeded feeling of inadequacy that is perpetually reinforced by the constant rejections from jobs, from love, from life in general.

Now, I think that, for a lot of us, a feeling of inadequacy is a natural thing to feel occasionally. Its how we take up this mantel of inadequacy and apply it to our lives that makes us [or at the very least, myself] see inadequacy in everything we do.

In our society, we perpetuate cheap, high calorie foods and yet thin people are put on a pedestal as the epitome of beauty. I think this sense of inadequacy, at least for myself, is the reason I struggle with some of the opinions and topics in the forum. Suddenly, other people's opinions seem to hit very close to home or aggreviate me, because I feel that they are some way directed toward me personally and feel defensive of my inadquecies

I think that my head is starting to spin with all these complex ideas swirling around, however, I would like to at least say that, after all that, that I completely understand your point of view. As somewhat illustrated in the above rant, I feel your pain in this instance - I think that you have to take people with a grain of salt.

A wrong fit is a wrong fit, without judgement, without prejudice and without hateful intentions. Preference is individualized, and with so many variables, it is hard to even generalize it to say you are either too big or too small. You are what you are, and I think you are a great person who should take comfort that as individualized as everyones preferences are, there is one person out there that is on your wave length and is, as I write this, a little desperate to find you
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:16 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by miss_delany View Post
I have always found it hard to find a "love interest". It usually ends up being the fact that I am not skinny enough, but recently it's the fact that I am not big enough. I am constantly stuck in this zone of not feeling like I am good enough or up to anyones standards. I am comfortable enough with myself, why can't anyone else be too?

Anyone else been in this position, as I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this.
I am right there with you. What gives?! I am beginning to think it's not us, just a crappy situation in general. Loneliness sucks.
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