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Old 11-01-2011, 09:18 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
Just to reiterate: The issue for discussion here is whether partners of supersize people should join the chorus of all those who advise/nag the supersize person to lose weight even if the supersize person is perfectly okay with who and what they are? I ask because there are those who wag a finger at us, telling us that if we really loved our partner, then we'd make them lose weight for their own good regardless of how the partner feels.
I don't accept the definition of "partner" allowing for the concept of "making" one do ANYTHING against their will regardless of the intentions. There's a reason the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" exists.

If you're in a relationship with someone, their happiness should be one of the most paramount issues. And regardless of media hype, being obese is NOT analogous to waking up every morning and playing Russian roulette. Even the most hyperbolic fat doomsayers still used the verbiage that being "morbidly obese leads to an increase in the CHANCES of" yada yada yada.

Precious few of us are happy all of the time. I feel safe in saying that ALL of us suffer with SOME body issues from time to time. If you or your partner is happy enough with their big bodies, or at least happier then they'd be doing what it would take to lose weight, then just BE happy and carry on with your lives. As of today, it's still not ILLEGAL to be fat, so tell the haters to F*** off and live your lives as you see fit.

If you truly believe your partner is flirting with DEATH every waking moment because of their size and it's your responsibility to MAKE them loose weight even though they may not want to, you might want to think about what's going on in your OWN head that's making you want to impose your decisions on someone else. The ends don't justify the means.

Is your relationship really healthy if you're so dismissive of your so-called partners feelings? And if you can't live with yourself believing your partner is actively trying to kill themselves with fat, say so an move on. Nobody wins in a negatively co-dependent relationship. You can only do so much to change someone beyond what they want, and I just don't believe it's right to push for more then that. It always ends in broken hearts, hurt feelings, epic resentment and shattered relationships.
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Old 11-06-2011, 08:04 AM   #27
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If my partner wanted to loose some weight for health reasons, or even to feel better, I would gently support her. I definitely prefer that she tries to loose a moderate amount of weight on her own (with my support) than that she would turn to more drastic measures, such as WLS which is very abundant and free where I live.

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That decision is whether or not you are more attracted to the person or the fat. If you decide the fat is more important, do your partner a favor and end the relationship.
I think this is nonsense. As an FA, it is not about fat OR the person, it is about both. You cannot separate them. I could really love a skinny partner as a person, but it would be platonic love, their would be no sexual drive. And it is this sexual drive which differentiates the love for a partner from the love for, for example, family. My sexual preference is an undeniable part of me, but this does not make my love less true.
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Old 11-06-2011, 08:48 AM   #28
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As an FA, it is not about fat OR the person, it is about both. My sexual preference is an undeniable part of me, but this does not make my love less true.
Exactly: you are talking about LOVE. If I understand Dromond correctly, he is talking about something else: a relationship in which one person is more concerned with his/her own pleasure than with pleasing his/her partner. I think both of you would agree that such a relationship is NOT love.
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Old 11-06-2011, 10:05 AM   #29
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Exactly: you are talking about LOVE. If I understand Dromond correctly, he is talking about something else: a relationship in which one person is more concerned with his/her own pleasure than with pleasing his/her partner. I think both of you would agree that such a relationship is NOT love.
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Old 11-06-2011, 12:54 PM   #30
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It's simple. You support what she wants as long as it's healthy. If she wants to stay her current size, you support that. If she wants to lose weight, you encourage her. She's the one who's carrying the weight.
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Old 11-06-2011, 05:46 PM   #31
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Exactly: you are talking about LOVE. If I understand Dromond correctly, he is talking about something else: a relationship in which one person is more concerned with his/her own pleasure than with pleasing his/her partner. I think both of you would agree that such a relationship is NOT love.
Love in what sense? Not exactly a term with a concrete definition. There has to be some consideration of a partner's own pleasure in a relationship, otherwise it's not even a human relationship but becomes something like a religious worship of the other person, like praying to a god: "Whatever my god does is right, and I must thank him/her for it, however it makes me feel."

If physical relations are important to a relationship (and in most cases they are), and if someone is hardwired to find a full figure physically attractive and a skinny figure physically unattractive, then I don't see how it's selfish to acknowledge the reality that a partner's weight loss could ruin physical intimacy. More like realistic.

One may admire, respect, etc. a partner for their non-physical aspects, but when it comes to physical intimacy, the physical component is, I'd wager, pretty crucial.

So then the question becomes: what will the relationship be like if physical intimacy becomes unappealing? Is the measure of "love" that the relationship goes on when physical intimacy ends or is performed with no enjoyment? Maybe so, but it seems like it would at least be worth giving the partner a head's up before the weight loss begins, if she doesn't know already.
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Old 11-06-2011, 05:57 PM   #32
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Would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to lose weight, or shall we be ourselves and support her/him to be just the way they are?
I find it puzzling that these are the only two options, and that the question, "Would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to gain weight?" is not a selection.

If the partner is being pressured by mean-spirited "friends" and family members to starve themselves into a skinnier size, and if she is being brainwashed by the media to feel that curves=bad and fuller=uglier, then I imagine that encouraging her towards the opposite opinion might be liberating for her. The urging would not be occurring in a vaccuum, after all, and might introduce her to a viewpoint that she never considered before. In this community, the idea of "curvy=beautiful" being a never-before-considered perspective might seem incomprehensible, but in the wider world, it's certainly possible.
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:09 PM   #33
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I find it puzzling that these are the only two options, and that the question, "Would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to gain weight?" is not a selection.

Well, therein lies the inherent FA predicament. We'd all secretly like the pleasurable aspects of encouraging the weight gain, but (hopefully) in most cases,
the FA settles to take the neutral position where we support our partner in whichever direction they wish to take -- most often their desire is to lose weight, and we remind our BBWs that we like them as they are today.
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:42 PM   #34
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I've always been attracted to fat women. I find fatness alluring, elegant, comforting, and just plain wonderful in every respect. Always have, always will.

The way I always looked at it, if someone is destined to be fat, then a relationship with someone who appreciates her/him that way is a good thing. To be admired, wanted and appreciated instead of being criticized and urged to lose weight even at home simply has to be a good thing.
Exactly right

The biggest problem with FAs is too many have been beaten down into believing the extremely insulting premise that fat people are by default unhealthy; that fat people are simply born 'wrong', and thus an FAs innate desire for them is wrong. I am tired of listening to the apologies, and self flaggellating some FAs engage in as some kind of compensation for the sin of their desire.

It is ridiculous and unnecessary. Lost in all the BS being flung around from the diet/health/pharma industries is genetics (and actual science for that matter).

The reason people of all sizes are suffering from the various ailments in the degree they are today is primarily due to industrial chemicals and food/water "modification".

Fat people and fat women in particular have been with us since humans first began to walk.

What are we're suppose to do? Join the ranks of the marketing pushers and urge our fat mates to try and become something they're not? Are they not already under enough pressure to conform to our culture's assembly line human mentality?

These industry sales people and their medical dupes are only interested in selling more drugs, surgeries, books, and equipment. It's not about health, it's about sales.

You want to be healthy, don't fight your genes, avoid stress, and avoid the ingestion and exposure- as best you can -to industry and pharma chemicals.

As for FAs, we need to stop apologizing and second guessing who we are. We are not freaks, or deviants just because we desire a segment of the human population who are naturally fat.

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Old 11-07-2011, 01:31 PM   #35
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Love in what sense? Not exactly a term with a concrete definition. There has to be some consideration of a partner's own pleasure in a relationship, otherwise it's not even a human relationship but becomes something like a religious worship of the other person, like praying to a god: "Whatever my god does is right, and I must thank him/her for it, however it makes me feel."

If physical relations are important to a relationship (and in most cases they are), and if someone is hardwired to find a full figure physically attractive and a skinny figure physically unattractive, then I don't see how it's selfish to acknowledge the reality that a partner's weight loss could ruin physical intimacy. More like realistic.

One may admire, respect, etc. a partner for their non-physical aspects, but when it comes to physical intimacy, the physical component is, I'd wager, pretty crucial.

So then the question becomes: what will the relationship be like if physical intimacy becomes unappealing? Is the measure of "love" that the relationship goes on when physical intimacy ends or is performed with no enjoyment? Maybe so, but it seems like it would at least be worth giving the partner a head's up before the weight loss begins, if she doesn't know already.
A fellow realist, we need more like you around here Kioewen- excellent

I've noticed that it's a few men who post the, 'anything she does is ok, it's all about her' stuff. I wonder how far one would get if it was proposed to women that they must accept anything that their men do, any changes a man makes to his body is his decision only, and that women must accept this without any consideration to their own thoughts, feelings, or desires- that this is 'love'. I wonder how far that would fly...

In a serious relationship you care as much about your partner's needs and feelings as you do your own- which means you do not discount your own.

When a person's needs and feelings are not being met in a relationship, or even considered- that's when you find that person cheats, or that the relationship ends.
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Old 11-07-2011, 02:59 PM   #36
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...

You want to be healthy, don't fight your genes, avoid stress, and avoid the ingestion and exposure- as best you can -to industry and pharma chemicals.

...
Yes!!!

I would add enjoy life by getting out and doing the things you want to do and by eating healthy without counting calories. Too many fat folks undermine their health by shutting themselves off from the world and worrying about the calorie content of their food rather than the quality.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:18 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by kioewen View Post
I find it puzzling that these are the only two options, and that the question, "Would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to gain weight?" is not a selection.

If the partner is being pressured by mean-spirited "friends" and family members to starve themselves into a skinnier size, and if she is being brainwashed by the media to feel that curves=bad and fuller=uglier, then I imagine that encouraging her towards the opposite opinion might be liberating for her. The urging would not be occurring in a vaccuum, after all, and might introduce her to a viewpoint that she never considered before. In this community, the idea of "curvy=beautiful" being a never-before-considered perspective might seem incomprehensible, but in the wider world, it's certainly possible.
^This.

Not that you stand a hope in hell, given the never ending blitzkreig of fat hate, shaming and diet-pushing in the meeja. Always worth a try though.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:36 PM   #38
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I've always been attracted to fat women. I find fatness alluring, elegant, comforting, and just plain wonderful in every respect. Always have, always will.

The way I always looked at it, if someone is destined to be fat, then a relationship with someone who appreciates her/him that way is a good thing. To be admired, wanted and appreciated instead of being criticized and urged to lose weight even at home simply has to be a good thing.

Yet, you wouldn't know that reading all the posts of us FAs having no idea how horrible it is to live in a fat body, how FAs are just users with a fixation on a body type, etc., etc. If you read those posts, you might well think that joining in on asking one's partner to lose weight would be the right and proper thing to do.

FAs can be in a difficult position that way. There are aspects of fatness that can be detrimental. So would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to lose weight, or shall we be ourselves and support her/him to be just the way they are?

What do you FAs out there think?
Given that pretty much everybloodybody else in the world is constantly pushing fat people to lose, lose, lose!!! - I'd say that any fat person who does want to lose will have no problem in finding an endless supply of cheerleaders / thin admirers. So, it would be entirely redundant, hence no, I wouldn't urge a lover to lose weight.

If and when I (ever) start looking for a ltr lover again, I'll be searching for those rare elusive BBWs who are happy as they are, or a feedee who wishes to become a BBW - i.e. someone who will appreciate my FA'ness (and antipathy to diet pushing) as much as I appreciate ALL of her.

As things stand: the minute I hear any serious weightloss / diet talk from an otherwise hot chick I might be interested in, I just take that as a "not-compatible" red flag, and move on. I might mention HAES. Not that I expect it'd do any good (from past experience). I try not to dwell on the fact that almost all BBWs would push a magic "Be Thin Now" button so fast you wouldn't see her move - as it just depresses me. Ho hum.

Also, I'm really sick of hearing people defining / qualifyng what is and isn't love. You read this BS every damn thread on this subject. I, like most adults, know exactly what it is / feels like to be in love with someone. Anyone trying to tell me that if I don't support "X" or "Y" action by my lover / partner then I don't really love them, can go take a long walk off a short pier.
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Old 11-08-2011, 05:13 AM   #39
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading and thinking about the insightful posts in this thread and they truly touch on issues that all of us confront at one time or another. The way I see it is that although the bbw or ssbbw may want to lose weight, at some point in their life, as they have lived 20, 30, 40 or more years, they develop a history and that history is, essentially who they are. What you have been, what you are, but not necessesarily where you want to be in the future. For me, reality is who and what she is NOW. Yes, it can be difficult to support her weight loss, especially when her years of being a bbw or ssbbw tip the scales in favor of the FA almost all the time (unless she takes the WLS road). No woman I have ever dated has been able to lose any more than 10lbs, except one who had WLS. I concur with what the Webmaster said about someone who is destined to be fat--that is the reality I am talking about. The problem can arise if we FA's are not supportive of her weight loss attempts by making known to her what we see as her reality. So if you say to her "I support your weight loss attempts, but I'm not very worried about you losing any significant amount of weight because let's face it, most people don't really succeed with diets" is a not so nice thing to say, but is at the same time, probably a truthful satement, depending on her history. I have observed it is human nature to always be searching for something better or different, a better job, more money, a nicer house, a newer car, a smaller dress size, etc. I believe that the height of human maturity is acceptance in knowing who you are and being honest with yourself. Once that is attained, then effusive joy can be experienced. Yes, it is good to want to be a better or thinner version of yourself, but until you get there, learn to enjoy what you have. I've rambled enough, but in another post I will share what I have experienced with a woman's weight and her enjoyment of intimacy and how the two are related. Thanks for reading all this
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Old 11-11-2011, 08:18 AM   #40
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There's nothing wrong with being fat. I'm surprised that's still so contentious. If a person of good conscience is going to encourage their partner to lose weight, it's certainly not going to be because of the tongue-clucking of Very Serious People who don't know the couple personally and thus don't know what they're talking about.

Many fat people presume to speak for all fat people when they really shouldn't. Their experiences, good or bad, are not the archetype for everybody else's. Your results will vary! I understand some of the frustration, because many fat admirers are immature--as are most human beings in general, I'm afraid--and keep clamoring for more, more, more of that lovely FAT...to the point where it starts to sound like a broken record. This rightly breeds resentment in some fat people, but it gets really bad when those people secretly (or not so secretly) don't honestly buy in to the core tenet of fat acceptance.

Being fat is great...if fat is what you want to be. If it isn't, then fat acceptance is a struggle for you and it's reasonable that you will feel frustration when other people behave so positively about it. But that is their right, and the movement belongs to us all. Those who are fortunate enough to love being fat, or to have a partner who loves the same, or both, are lucky individuals indeed and ought to make the most of their abundant source of pleasure--and everyone else ought not to begrudge them that.

So, just to say it again for effect, there's nothing wrong with being fat. There's nothing wrong with encouraging a partner to lose weight, or to gain weight, depending on the circumstances of the relationship and the needs and desires of those in it. The opinions of society at large, or even people within our own movement, are meaningless. But since there are lots of (F)FAs here, and since some folks have made it the elephant in the room, let me explicitly affirm that, yes, there's nothing inherently wrong with encouraging a partner to get fatter, no matter what he or she already weighs. If there's ever something wrong with it, it's the result of an external factor.

Now, as to that inescapable criticism about how dreadfully "unhealthy" it is to be fat, let alone to get fatter--with all the unsavory insinuations of unethical behavior on the part of people who encourage their partners to stay fat or get fatter--I guess what we need to do is split it into two parts. The first part is the fact that people almost never bring up the health angle out of a face-value concern for anybody's health--even their own. They usually do it to build moral standing for themselves and whatever opinions they wish to assert. To that extent, the health question is a total nonissue. The second part is that the question of health, as it pertains to fatness, is mostly irrelevant anyway. Health is when your own body doesn't get in the way of what you want to do with your life. If we accept, for the sake of avoiding argument, that being sufficiently fat is in some ways unhealthful for some people in some cases, then I fail to see how that in any way casts an intrinsic pall on the glory of being fat or gaining weight. We are complex creatures, often possessed of competing desires. I wouldn't mind some physical hardships in the name of being fat. Part of being a mature adult is knowing yourself well enough to know what you want, and, when it comes to being in a relationship, knowing your partner well too. Let folks weigh their competing interests and choose for themselves what they want more. Let them be the judges of how much sacrifice they are willing to make in order to be as fat as they would prefer to be, or to eat like they would prefer to eat. Let them decide how much sacrifice they are willing to make to accommodate their partner's sexual needs.

And let's not the rest of us chastise people for deciding to get fatter, stay fat, or encourage the same in a partner. Except for abusive relationships, it's really not our place.

So, then, my answer to Da Webmaster's thoughtful question, after so much ado, is: "I wouldn't encourage me or my partner to lose weight without a good reason. Fat admiration is a part of my sexual orientation, and it's a beautiful aesthetic property of the human body besides. Weight loss is not something I want to pursue--for myself or my partner--unless some competing interest makes weight loss preferable to maintenance or gaining. Since nothing like that has come along yet, and since both me and my partner are enjoying getting fatter, and are not all that fat in an absolute sense, I continue to encourage us both to gain--not in a vacuum, but as a natural outgrowth of eating what we like, living how we like, and nurturing a healthy sex life. My partner feels the same way."
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Old 11-13-2011, 03:04 AM   #41
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I've always been attracted to fat women. I find fatness alluring, elegant, comforting, and just plain wonderful in every respect. Always have, always will.

The way I always looked at it, if someone is destined to be fat, then a relationship with someone who appreciates her/him that way is a good thing. To be admired, wanted and appreciated instead of being criticized and urged to lose weight even at home simply has to be a good thing.

Yet, you wouldn't know that reading all the posts of us FAs having no idea how horrible it is to live in a fat body, how FAs are just users with a fixation on a body type, etc., etc. If you read those posts, you might well think that joining in on asking one's partner to lose weight would be the right and proper thing to do.

FAs can be in a difficult position that way. There are aspects of fatness that can be detrimental. So would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to lose weight, or shall we be ourselves and support her/him to be just the way they are?

What do you FAs out there think?
If you love someone, you do what it takes to keep them healthy (number 1). Don't try to over correct a situation because of what society is trying to push down our throats. However, if its not working for either party..then its time to change or move on to another with the wisdom you learned from the past relationship.

Both parties need to understand and accept their own philosophy (number 2) before they attempt a relationship. Don't enter into a relationship bullshitting because those holes will just get bigger as time goes on. If you have a habit of losing interest in a person because their look changes...then that person should not get into a serious/long term relationship because its a waste of time. Likewise, if someone likes you for who you are but you don't your current state...don't waste their time either.

Bottom line, if you happen to realize that a person hasn't gotten to know you and is pushing for intimacy...you should question their motives. They may even believe their own bullshit so you still have to look at their pattern and how they react to things to see them.

Personally, I support my loved ones to be whatever they want to be. Unless, they want to be a black hole.
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:07 AM   #42
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It seems as if there are actually two components to the question.

The first is the troublesome one. It's a recognition that supporting fatness as an abstract concept is different than supporting a fat person. I'm powerfully drawn to a plenitude of flesh. That's how it is. But to speak of the experience of being fat as neutral or positive in this specific context seems disingenuous.

Taking this from theory to experience. When my wife and I got together, her fatness was the physical quality that drew me most strongly. She's lost forty, forty-five pounds over the twenty-three years of our relationship. I don't like it, but I feel good about it. Or the other way round.

I do not believe this would have happened if I had joined the chorus of people who bug her about her weight. That chorus is a source of stress, and stress exacerbates food issues. Telling someone to gain or lose weight or exercise more or less or any such badgering is something I don't do, and don't like.

The only time I'd be willing to tell someone they should lose weight would be if I were genuinely concerned for their welfare, and they were in complete denial. I haven't done this over fatness, but I have done it over drug, employment, and relationship issues.


What I do? I say, "Listen. I'm only going to say this to you once, and I'm only going to say it because if I don't I'll feel like a crappy person. You don't want to hear it, I don't want to say it, it'll never come up again. BUT..."

And it never comes up again.

That's my two cents.
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Old 11-21-2011, 08:38 AM   #43
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It seems as if there are actually two components to the question.

The first is the troublesome one. It's a recognition that supporting fatness as an abstract concept is different than supporting a fat person. I'm powerfully drawn to a plenitude of flesh. That's how it is. But to speak of the experience of being fat as neutral or positive in this specific context seems disingenuous.

Taking this from theory to experience. When my wife and I got together, her fatness was the physical quality that drew me most strongly. She's lost forty, forty-five pounds over the twenty-three years of our relationship. I don't like it, but I feel good about it. Or the other way round.

I do not believe this would have happened if I had joined the chorus of people who bug her about her weight. That chorus is a source of stress, and stress exacerbates food issues. Telling someone to gain or lose weight or exercise more or less or any such badgering is something I don't do, and don't like.

The only time I'd be willing to tell someone they should lose weight would be if I were genuinely concerned for their welfare, and they were in complete denial. I haven't done this over fatness, but I have done it over drug, employment, and relationship issues.


What I do? I say, "Listen. I'm only going to say this to you once, and I'm only going to say it because if I don't I'll feel like a crappy person. You don't want to hear it, I don't want to say it, it'll never come up again. BUT..."

And it never comes up again.

That's my two cents.
Good post. Except that I am sure that you will find a (ss)bbw that will tell you she had genuinely concerns about her weight, and that the FA in her life was in complete denial.

We got to get away from this concept that the other person, is in denial simply because they do not share our views, or do things we are uncomfortable with.

Because, they are a lot of people out there that label us as being in denial just for registering for Dimensions or donating to NAAFA.
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:01 PM   #44
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Let me change that. I don't pull that one if the other person is in a state of serious denial; I pull it if I think the chance I'll be heard seems good enough to balance the chance of giving offense.
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Old 11-25-2011, 12:48 AM   #45
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I'm a ssbbw and I have health issues. Now my dr assures me (like they all do) that losing weight and or WLS will make these problems go away. If I were involved with someone, I would expect them to worry about my health but support whatever I chose to do in regards to my weight. Pushing someone to lose or gain never works and in the end they usually resent that person.
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Old 12-03-2011, 02:52 AM   #46
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Just to reiterate: The issue for discussion here is whether partners of supersize people should join the chorus of all those who advise/nag the supersize person to lose weight even if the supersize person is perfectly okay with who and what they are? I ask because there are those who wag a finger at us, telling us that if we really loved our partner, then we'd make them lose weight for their own good regardless of how the partner feels.
This discussion assumes no POV on the part of the FA about the issue of health and size--or perhaps passively assumes mainstream thinking (that underneath the nagging, it's still probably a good thing for people to try to lose weight). I wonder what FAs really think?

That is: I've always wondered what the percentage of FAs who (for instance) really believe in HAES precepts are. Not as any kind of PC test or anything--we're all getting through this life as we can--just curious .
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Old 12-03-2011, 09:04 AM   #47
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I've always been attracted to fat women. I find fatness alluring, elegant, comforting, and just plain wonderful in every respect. Always have, always will.

The way I always looked at it, if someone is destined to be fat, then a relationship with someone who appreciates her/him that way is a good thing. To be admired, wanted and appreciated instead of being criticized and urged to lose weight even at home simply has to be a good thing.

Yet, you wouldn't know that reading all the posts of us FAs having no idea how horrible it is to live in a fat body, how FAs are just users with a fixation on a body type, etc., etc. If you read those posts, you might well think that joining in on asking one's partner to lose weight would be the right and proper thing to do.

FAs can be in a difficult position that way. There are aspects of fatness that can be detrimental. So would it behoove us to gently urge a fat loved one to lose weight, or shall we be ourselves and support her/him to be just the way they are?

What do you FAs out there think?
In my view it depends whether you love them or lust after them, or whether you love them more than you lust after them or not. If you truly love somebody, you don't encourage them to do things which will harm them - there is no escaping that. If you tell somebody you love them who is plainly unhealthy and incapacitated through being superfat, and you encourage and assist them in being that way then you lying to them about love or you have never experienced love, which is a universal medicine for all ailments. In the case of healthy fat people, that is people who are not incapacitated or disabled because of their weight, I see no wrong or harm in admiring their form. In my case, my wife, I certainly lusted after her fat body and that was what got us together in the first place - then I developed love for her and worry that she is perhaps a little too heavy. What brought this home to me, was carrying a 20 inch CRT monitor half a mile home from the shop - after 200 yards I was puffing and panting and thought OMG my wife is carrying around 3 or 4 of these all the time on top of what I weigh. These FAs who lust after impossibly fat women and encourage them to eat more and more, they are demons in my view - all they are doing is harm. Perhaps an education for them would be a special suit with pockets all over for 500 lbs of lead weights - they could try wearing it for a couple of days.
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Old 12-03-2011, 02:32 PM   #48
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In the case of healthy fat people, that is people who are not incapacitated or disabled because of their weight, I see no wrong or harm in admiring their form.
I think you mean something more like "encouraging their size" here; I can't imagine any FA saying that a woman over a certain size should not be ADMIRED.
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Old 12-03-2011, 05:08 PM   #49
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I think you mean something more like "encouraging their size" here; I can't imagine any FA saying that a woman over a certain size should not be ADMIRED.
No, I wrote exactly what I mean.
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Old 12-03-2011, 05:31 PM   #50
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No, I wrote exactly what I mean.
Please clarify: Are you saying that if a partner is incapacitated or disabled because of their weight that it is wrong to admire their body which is as I understand it, their form? Specifically, is it wrong, to you, for someone to admire or be aroused by or love someone who is incapacitated or disabled?
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