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Old 05-20-2012, 06:11 PM   #26
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-A Southern Story #11 - Meeting Emily

Hi, how are you? I've heard a good bit about you from my sisters, but for some reason we just kept missing each other, didn't we? Kinda crazy, the two of us in a town this small, never running into each other, isn't it?

Anyways, I've heard all about you, bur you don't know anything hardly about me, so let's go there. I work at a vet's clinic a few towns over. Hey, maybe that's why we haven't actually met! I've been working late the last few months, and when I get back here, I make a quick stop at Mickey D's or KFC or something, then I get home; no socializing with anyone, really.

You know, I'm just now realizing that that's all I've eaten the past few days. Fast food, I mean. Sundays we all meet up as a family for dinner Mama cooks, but I don't think I've had anything home cooked since then. Probably not healthy, but then, it's not like it could hurt any more than the two hundred extra pounds I'm walking around with anyway.

What worries me a little is watching Chelsea and Tori doing the same thing. I mean yeah, with our family history, it was pretty much inevitable they'd blimp out sooner or later, but this fast?

I mean, when I started gaining, it was something like five, ten pounds a year, now they're gaining like twenty per year. Well I say that, I don't have the actual numbers, but looking at them, it's gotta be something like that. I'm a little worried about Elizabeth, too, but she was gaining like that before the fast food places came in. I mean, they've probably had a little to do in how fast she's blowing up, but I think even if they didn't come here, she'd still be creeping up on 300. Plus there's no way in heck she's going to stop eating like she is.

I do not understand that girl. I mean, I get she's kind of stuck in a teenage rebellion phase, but it's almost like she's TRYING to get huge. If you ask her about it, she'll tell you she isn't, then she'll go to the fridge for ice cream and order herself an extra large pizza. Her butt's been inflating like a beach ball!

And you know, for all the talk of how disgusting fat girls are, she's definitely not got a problem there. Guys are practically lining up to go out with her. I think it's because all her fat goes straight to her ass. Guys like a big butt. Apparently, that still applies when the rest of the package is upsized a bit, too.

On the other hand, it might just be because of how her clothes are fitting. She hasn't broke down and bought the next size up, and let me tell you, you can tell. I mean, her favorite pair of stretchy shorts? If she's moving around, they wedge up her crack. EVERYTHING'S on display for the men to see, cellulite and all. But they like it, so that's how that goes.

Still, I wonder how they're gonna react when she gets as big as me or Laney. They like it the way it is, but what about when she gets bigger. That's what happened to Laney, you know. Her husband liked how the fat went straight to her tits, but when she started getting a spare tire, he was out of there like a rat outta a cage.

And of course, all this is making Tori furious. She's so used to being the sexy one in the family, she has no idea how to deal with it. So far, she's turned to food for comfort, which I can understand. Been there, done that. And look where it landed ME! Three hundred and forty-five pounds of pure blubber! And she's not helping herself, the way she's been dressing, either.

The thing about Tori is, having been the sexy one for so long, she still tries to wear sexy clothes all the time, like she used to, but it's not the same anymore. She used to wear belly-shirts all the time, but now they just show off her love handles and you can actually SEE the seams pulling apart on her short shorts. And she's realizing how hard it is to find sexy plus-size clothes, too. I actually saw her a few weeks ago, using a pair of scissors to turn a normal shirt into a deep, and I mean DEEP, cut V-neck.

She's trying to step up her sexy factor by wearing less and less clothing, trying to compete with Elizabeth, and you know, it's sort of helping, but it's also kind of sad. And then she's using food to cope, so you can just imagine the weight she's piling on. I really kinda feel sorry for her, but how do you help with this kind of thing? Give her a three layer cake? Yeah like that'll help her fit back into her old short shorts.

What else. . . Oh, did you hear the news about Chelsea? The local high school just hired her to be their new cheer coach! It's kind of her dream job come true. You know she was head cheerleader back in high school, right? No? Well she was, and she absolutely LOVED it. Anyways, the school remembered her, and asked her just a few days ago if she was interested.

Only worry is that she might have to do some demonstrations for the girls, teach them new stunts, that kind of thing, and she's not exactly in the same shape she was in high school. She can't touch her toes, how can she expect to be able to do a toe-touch? She was saying something about going on a diet and exercise program, try to get in shape for it.

My only comment on all this is, have you SEEN the girls on the squad? Okay, head cheerleader is Holly Bates, she's a bit older, a senior who's been on the cheer squad since junior high. Only this year, she's fifteen pounds heavier, that's got to throw off her balance a bit. Doesn't help most of it went to her boobs; there's a good chance of her popping out in the middle of a game! The rest of the squad's not much better off, either. I'm thinking if Chels can't do a stunt, I'm pretty darn sure they won't be capable of it either.

What do you think about all this? Ah, you know what, I almost forgot, I have a dentist's appointment at 5:30, and I got to get moving. Been nice getting to know you, we have to do this again sometime soon!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 05-20-2012 at 11:07 PM.
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Old 05-20-2012, 06:11 PM   #27
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A Southern Story #12 - Chelsea's Concerns

Welcome to Grandmother's Buttons, how may I help y-- Woah, hey what are you doing here in Grandmother's Buttons? Sorry, it's just it's not too often we get men your age in here, it's mostly just older and middle-age women!

Ah, never mind all that; how you been? I haven't seen you since Christmas; how's life been treatin' ya? Ah, good, good, hey, did you hear the good news? I'm cheer coach! Oh, Emily told you?

Oh that's right, you finally met Emily! What'd you think, ain't she just the sweetest person in the world? She tells it like it is, but she's just so nice about it you can't possibly get mad at her!

Anyways, back to where I was, this seriously is like a dream come true for me! No, you don't understand, I've been wanting this since I was in tenth grade. And it's finally happening!

We started about two, three weeks ago; looking good so far. Well, I say good, but there's a bunch of really basic stuff they're having WAY too much trouble with. Like pyramids, for example. Pretty common thing, three girls pick one girl up in the air, you must have seen it. I'd say it was one of the first things I ever learned as a cheerleader. Anyway, the lightest girls on the squad are supposed to be the ones on top, for obvious reasons. Problem is, the lightest girls really aren't that light! I'm really not being mean,it's just a fact, they're all at LEAST ten pounds overweight.

You don't believe me? They've had to order a whole new set of uniforms this year, exactly because of this! You should have seen the girls trying to cram themselves into the old ones! Course, I can't say much, I do the same most every morning with normal clothes. They should be coming in in a week or two, we ordered slightly large, just in case, but something tells me we won't have any problems!

All this kinda reminds me of one of the girls I cheered with in high school, Kathleen Rouprich. She was a bit older than the rest of us, and up until her senior year, flat as a board, skinny as a reed, but the summer between junior and senior year, she blossomed, and when I say that, I mean she REALLY blossomed, wide hips, double D's, the whole package and then some. But she was so used to being the girl on top of the pyramid, she tried to get up there, nearly broke her neck when the rest of us couldn't take the weight! She had a hard time keeping up that year, 'cause she wasn't used to the extra weight.

Thought it was the funniest thing ever at the time, but I can totally relate to that now. Kind of embarrassing, the first day, I tried to show them a toe touch and landed flat on my butt! Too scared to try and show them anything since that fiasco. I'm just too fat to be a cheerleader, now, sad to say.

I went on a diet before all this started so I'd be able to show them, and I actually lost ten pounds, but then came Elizabeth's birthday, and next morning, I woke up, there they were again; don't you just HATE when that happens?

Yeah, don't you hate when that happens? You work your butt off, starve yourself and lose a tiny bit of weight, then the minute you give yourself a break and indulge, it's all back. Happens every time, doesn't it? Well, for me, anyway. It doesn't take much, either! It's like you go off your diet, eat ONE PIECE of cake, and BOOM, you gained it all back PLUS five pounds!

So anyway, I've started all over again, and so far, three pounds lost, but I'm a little worried since Tori's birthday is coming up soon. Don't want a repeat of Elizabeth's birthday all over again!

Laney's lost a little weight recently too, I'm kind of waiting to see if this happens to her, too, I'm kind of betting yes, but I'm giving her the shadow of the doubt. At the very least, maybe the weight will stay off longer.

I'd do what she did, but the "unemployment diet" doesn't sound too good to me! I like my job here, thank you very much! The pay's not great, but it's enough to pay to pay rent and keep me fed, so I'm happy enough.

Speaking of jobs, have you talked to Elizabeth lately? She just got a job working as a secretary at the law office. Gotta wonder how long THAT'S gonna last her. I mean, I love the girl, but she just is NOT secretary material! Does she even OWN any nice skirts? Well doesn't matter if she does, she'll have to buy some new ones with the way she's been blowing up.

Yeah, Mama FINALLY decided she was going stop paying for Elizabeth to stuff her face 24-7 at Macdonald's, so she didn't have any kind of choice but to find somewhere to work. Williamson & Crawford had an opening, so that's where she went. This is gonna be fun, seeing her try and adjust to suddenly having a job.

If you see her, ask her about it, alright? Should be pretty interesting to hear her thoughts on the matter.

Hmm? Oh, Tori's doing good, she said you talked to her a couple weeks ago? How'd that go? She bore you to death with all her gossip? Oh, I kid, but really, what did y'all talk about? Ah, that sounds like her, vain as always. Everyone's a blimp, except her that is!

She FINALLY broke down the other day and bought a new bikini, extremely revealing, as usual, so she's clearly still delusional, and you know, she SAYS it's a size bigger, but I tell you, she looks like she's about one pound from busting right out! She can say all she wants to the contrary, but she really cannot hide how fat she's gotten!

Not that she's trying too hard, she still thinks she's skinny, at least by comparison. Looks that way anyway, she's still acting like she's the hottest girl in town and don't tell her I said this, but she's been looking kind of slutty as of late. Not that she IS a slut, I'd never say that about her, but she's kinda dressing like one. . . I just hope she gets a hold of herself before she gets a bad reputation. . .

Uh oh, better get back to work, boss is staring at us! I'll talk to you later, alright? Alright!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 05-20-2012 at 11:15 PM.
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Old 05-22-2012, 07:44 PM   #28
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A Southern Story #13 - Elizabeth at the Pool

HEY, what you doing here? You do any swimming? Oh, what am I thinking, of course you do, why else would you be at the town pool? Myself, I've never been much of a swimmer, I mean I CAN, but really, why waste the time? No, I'm out here just to drive Tori even crazier than she normally is. Hold on, you got to let me explain, and this. is. GOOD.

Okay, so, Tori's used to having guys lined up all along the block for her, but lately, business has been slow for her in that area. Oh, there's still guys, for sure, but –and this is the good bit– guys have been banging down our door, asking ME out!

I guess it's true, guys like a girl with an ass, and I got more ass than three normal girls combined! Can you say "ego boost?" No, I am NOT bragging, it's a fact! OKAY, MAYBE I'm bragging just a bit, but give me a break, this is totally new to me!

Anyways, that's what I'm doing out here in this ridiculously tiny bikini, making Tori insanely jealous. There is absolutely no way I would wear this stupid thing otherwise; it's freaking uncomfortable as can be; how on EARTH can those girls who wear these deal with having a wedgie all day long? And my tits are just pouring out at the sides!

I will never understand why women do this to themselves! I mean, yeah, it's hot, but it's freaking UNCOMFORTABLE! As much as it sucks though, it's all worth it, just to see her reaction! She has been just FREAKING OUT!

What? Don't look at me like that, it's fun watching her squirm! Plus, you should see the ways she's dealing with it! She's dressing all slutty, THEN, when THAT doesn't work, she starts eating like a pig 'til she pops out her way-too-small clothes, it's hilarious! Oh, you just gotta see it, I can't hardly describe it. Tell you what, just drop by the house sometime, she'll probably be there and you'll see EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm evil, but it's just so much fun! Plus, it's kind of payback for all those years she nagged me about my weight.

Chelsea said she already told you this but you might as well hear it from me; mama sat me down a week or two ago and told me she was done giving me an allowance, and that from now on I'd have to earn all my spending money; she didn't throw me out the house or anything, but horror of horrors, I have to keep a nine-to-five job, which is, of course, the pits, but I'm making the best of it.

I got a job at the law firm doing secretary-type stuff, setting up meetings, organizing files, that kind of thing. I'm pretty terrible at it, but, you know, I have a feeling they won't fire me as long as Mr. Crawford's son, Shep, still has a thing for my ass! He doesn't know I know because I haven't said anything, but I've noticed him staring out the corner of my eye, and it's like every time I bend over, I can FEEL him staring. On an entirely unrelated subject (or is it really - you decide), I seem to drop things a lot at work.

Hey, I like the attention, gimme a break, alright?

I'm still looking better than Tori, especially with the way she's been dressing. Does she really think that walking around town wearing skin-tight yoga pants and a V-neck tank top, making fun of fat girls like she's still skinny herself will somehow trick people into thinking she's really still skinny? ESPECIALLY when she's eating a cheeseburger at the SAME TIME?

If I wasn't enjoying it so much, I'd probably feel sorry for her. The best part is, she believes it herself! I don't know HOW she's managed to convince herself she's still in shape, but she's done it. Sort of, I mean, she knows she's gained weight and she'll tell you herself, but then she says she could "totally get it under control in no time!" And maybe it's true, if she put some effort into it that is, which she never will. Not really. But hey, whatever makes her feel better, right?

She TRIED jogging the other day, you know that? At least that's what she called it; she got all dressed up, short shorts and a sports bra, everything just hanging out there for everybody to see. Wearing a shirt over her bra would make her overheated, duh! Yeah, you can guess how THAT went.

She actually did better than I expected; she jogged all the way to the end of the driveway, started walking, made it about two, three more blocks, then turned around, walked back, collapsed on the couch and didn't move the rest of the day. Got to say, I was impressed!

CHELSEA'S actually been doing better than Tori with the dieting thing; she's been trying to be a good example for the cheerleaders –not that it's working– but she's actually been keeping to her diet and walking every day for the past week. Not walking, like, a long ways, but doesn't matter, I've never seen her do that; normally she's off her diet by Wednesday her first week. She says she's already lost a bit of weight, and I GUESS you can sorta see it, but it's not that much, really, and besides, I'm betting it'll all come back after Tori's party next Friday, she really can't control herself at birthday parties. Still, with the whole cheer sponsor thing, she's getting loads more exercise than the any of the rest of us.

I never got into cheerleading myself, too much work, and you don't really get anything out of it that I can see. Why dress up like a slut once a week and bounce around in front of a crowd? Seems pointless to me; I mean, I guess the girls who do it get something out of it, and congrats to them, but I just don't see it. I'll just stay in the bleachers, thank you very much! Eat myself a bowl of nachos, maybe a hamburger or two. Much easier. Much more comfortable.

Then again, It might be because I never had any school pride, I told you that much first time you met me. What's to be proud of, really? We're a slightly crappy school in the state with the crappiest educational system in America, is that really something to be proud of? We're not even good at sports, so we can't even brag about THAT!

Well, I guess we still have probably the fattest cheerleaders in the country! I'm only half joking; seriously, have you SEEN those girls!? I went to one of their first practices, and that was just hysterical! Them bouncing around, trying to do toe-touches, somersaults, and just landing on their fat asses! Well at least they got cushion, ha! I'd wish them luck in losing the weight, but (A) I seriously do NOT see than happening, and (B) watching their fat selves trying all that is going to be absolutely HILARIOUS, it might just make going to the games worth the effort!

Chels may be setting an example for them, but I see them around town, and you better believe they are NOT getting thinner! I saw Holly the other day, and that girl was just pouring out her bra on all sides! Hmmm? Who's Holly you ask? Holly Bates. Head cheerleader, you'd recognize her if you saw her, she's got reddish hair, couple of freckles. . . HUGE tits.

I thought Emily had told you about her? Well she's at the house with Tori a good bit; they're kind of friends, so I see her pretty often, and she's pretty much always shoving one fattening thing or another down her throat, same as Tori. And Laney was saying the other day she drops by Dunkin' Donuts every morning and buys herself a box with three apple fritters. I don't see the rest of the squad too much, but when I do, it's usually at some restaurant or another.

Huh? Oh yeah, that's where Laney's working now. No, the KFC turned her down, but something opened up at Dunkin' Donuts, so that's where she went. Now it's just a wait to see how long it takes her to pack on all the weight she lost when she was unemployed! Oh, don't even pretend, you know as well as I do it's gonna happen, it's just a question of when! She knows too, just ask her! She's just sort of accepted it.

Best thing to do in my opinion, I accepted it YEARS ago and look how happy I am! I know I'm a pig and I expect to get even huger; I'm up to 212 as of last Saturday, and expect to be past 225 by Thanksgiving, most likely by a lot.

I figure, why lie to yourself? Or other people, I mean, especially once you get to my size. What's the point of lying, you know I'm a fatass, you can SEE it, plain as day; my fat ass is on display for you right now, so why pretend my ass ISN'T fat? And I love food too much for it not to get fatter, so I just expect that too! Besides, if there's guys who like it –and believe me, there are plenty— why should I TRY and lose it? Work with what you got, and what I got is a massive ass.

And now, if you'll excuse me, my massive ass requires a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken, and who am I to argue? See you later!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 05-25-2012 at 11:13 AM.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:35 PM   #29
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A Southern Story #14 - Laney's New Job-

Hey, what's up? Where've you been lately?

Obviously, not anywhere near Dunkin' Donuts, else I woulda seen you! You should drop by sometime, we'd love to see you!

No, I didn't get the job with KFC, still not sure why, but then I heard they had an opening at DD, so I snapped it up quick as possible. I haven't really been working there too long though, just a few days.

So how've you been? I've been pretty awesome, as you can see, that unemployment "diet" worked wonders for me! I was out of a job about three months, I lost twenty pounds! Almost all of it came straight out of my tits, sad to say, but still! Twenty pounds!

Of course, working where I am, I'll probably gain it back, plus ten more, in record time, but at the moment, I'm just happy to be under three hundred again, however long it lasts! Ah, stop trying to be nice, you know as well as I do the chances of me staying skinny when I'm surrounded all day with donuts are uhh. . . let me do the math here. . . NONE!

On the other hand, getting fat again will get my tits back where they were. Why is it when I lose weight it comes out the ONE place I'm totally okay with being big? I LIKED my tits! Scratch that, LIKE my tits, I don't really have the right to complain, now do I? They're pretty definitely still there, they definitely still qualify as big tits, but it's just. . . Not AS big, you know? Okay, to clarify: before I lost weight, I was a 40G bra. Now suddenly, I'm all the way down to a 38DD; I haven't been a 38DD since freaking ninth grade! It's just disconcerting is all. Of course, like I said a little while ago, with me working at Dunkin' Donuts, I'll probably back up to my old size in no time flat!

Not that it really matters, I really don't care much one way or another, it's like I'm always saying, you can't escape destiny, and mine and every woman in my family's is to end up a fat little piggy. Still, nice to have a reprieve from having to carry all that weight around, even if it IS only for a little while!

Chelsea's been trying pretty hard to do what I did, losing weight I mean, and, you know, it's WORKING, but not really. She's losing weight, but she then she gains it right back, her weight's just been yo-yo-ing like crazy. She keeps losing five pounds, then gaining back eight, losing three, gaining two, that kind of thing. Right now, she's on the best streak she's had so far, twelve pounds; she sent out a proud email to the whole family about it yesterday.

I wish her luck, but at the same time, I'm kind of doubting it'll go much further. If it does, good for her, she's worked for it, she's earned it, but. . . You know me; you know how I think; I just really don't think any of us can escape getting fat for too long. Doesn't help her case that even WITH losing weight, she's already most of the way there. Don't tell her I said that though, I really don't want to hurt her feelings, and besides, if any of my sisters are going to lose weight, my money would be on it being her.

She's got more of a reason to get skinny than any the rest of us, you know; she's really focused on setting a good example for the cheer squad, to help them lose weight –God knows they need it– but let me tell you, that's not working at ALL. No one's broke the news to her about this because it'd absolutely crush her, but her girl's are paying absolutely NO attention to the diets she put them on. She's trying to inspire them, but it's not working, and once she realizes that, I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell of her sticking to her diet. Oh, she might keep it going for a little while longer, manage to keep her weight down for a couple of weeks, maybe even a few months, but without a reason for keeping skinny, there's just no chance of it lasting; she just has too big a sweet tooth to keep away from candy, we all do.

It's like a family curse, or something. Every freaking one of us, same thing, over and over again. We get fat. We go on a diet and shrink down a bit. We struggle for a little while to keep the weight off. We blow right up again, faster than ever. It's always the same. It's like an endless cycle of failed diets.

Actually, I take that back, I can't say it happens to ALL of us. But that doesn't count, 'cause the ONLY one of us that's never been through that whole "yo-yo diet" bs is Elizabeth, and you know without me saying, that that's ONLY because she's never even been on a diet!

I SAY my size doesn't matter to me, but I gotta admit, it does bother me at times. That girl though, she really, one hundred percent, does not care one way or another, how huge she gets. I have to say, there are times that I kinda wish I could be like that; it seems more relaxing, less stressful, you know?

Theeenn I try squeezing my fat self into my pants and *poof* I snap out of it.

Changing the subject, did you hear the gossip about Lauren Mink? You know the one I'm talking about, right, Tori said how she pointed her out to you at the Christmas festival, she was the dirty-blonde haired girl, fat ass, big boobs, and that WAY-too-short blue skirt. She was with her little sister, Carly? Yeah, that's the one! I don't know how she could wear that skirt, it was WAY too cold!

Oh hush, 60 degrees may be warm for you yankees, but down here, that's chilly. Besides, the temperature was only one of the MANY reasons she should not have worn that skirt, I mean you SAW how that thing fit her, it only barely covered her butt cheeks!

But this isn't about that, well, I guess it sort of is; I just heard she's PREGNANT! Oh you don't know I just cannot WAIT to tell Tori about this; they were real good friends back in high school, but they haven't really kept up.

This is just karma you know. Lauren was a major bitch at the time, you can't even imagine! This is just ONE example, but when she and Tori were friends, she used to hang out at our house ALL the time, and this was just about the time I was first getting fat, I mean REALLY gaining, right after my husband divorced me. It was a dark time for me, and that what does that skinny little bitch say to me to help me through it all?

"Oh, well I'm sorry about all that, but I just heard about this diet you might try, you really need to try it, you've gained like fifty pounds since the divorce and you'll need to lose weight if you're going to find another man."

WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH THAT WAS JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! Scrawny little slut, I wanted bad to beat the everliving CRAP outta that woman. Still not really sure why I didn't, it would definitely have been justified!

Sorry, I know you probably don't care about all this, but I just could not keep something that juicy to myself for long! Ooh, it's going to be so much fun watching that bitch's belly blow up like a balloon!

I think everybody always kinda knew this would end up happening to her. That ridiculously short skirt she had on when you saw her? That was the rule, not the exception, that girl was SUCH a skank! It was always just a matter of time.

I always wondered what Tori saw in her, I guess she just made Tori look like a good girl by comparison. Not that Tori's NOT a good girl, but let's face it, she's not exactly a perfect little angel either. But I'm not about to badmouth my own little sister!

Let's see, what else's been happening around here. . .

Well, so Emily's been talking about leaving the vet clinic, where she is now and starting up a bakery here in town, over in that empty building by the courthouse. Have you tried anything she's made yet? nO? Oh my, you have GOT TO. Mama taught Emily how to cook, and she learned really well; I think she may even be a better cook than mama! I think that actually may be why the two of them are so big; you know what they say, "never trust a thin cook!" Well, they ain't thin, that's for sure!

Anyways, her boss at the vet's been a real pain in the ass lately, constantly on her case about little things that really don't matter, and she's just about sick of it. That crappy little cafe that used to be by the courthouse just closed down, so she's thinking about taking over it and setting up shop there. They already have ovens, stoves and all that, so it'd be just perfect for her to set herself up a little bakery.

Sure she'll have to compete with all the fast food places around here, but having eaten more than my fair share of fast food, I can compare the two, and without a doubt, she stands a fair chance, just so as long as people know her place exists. Awareness is going to be absolutely key here.

She could probably do some catering for small parties and such, that'd be just free publicity. Who knows what all could happen here? Okay, tell me truthfully, if she DID get this place up and running, you'd buy food there, wouldn't you? Sure you would, it's a more personal deal than otherwise! I gotta go, but if she does decide to go with this, we'll be sure and let you know personally, all right? Okay, bye!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 05-25-2012 at 11:21 AM.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:38 PM   #30
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A Southern Story #15 -Tori's Reaction-

Hey, how you doing?

Me, not so great, but I don't really want to talk about it, so let's talk about something else! How about. . . Chelsea! Have you seen her lately?

I gotta say, she's looking pretty good, all things considered, this is probably the furthest she's actually lasted on a diet ever before, she said the other day she was all the way down to 198, which for her is more than thirty pounds, so she's FINALLY gotten back down under 200, which is a really big deal for her! Now if only the cheer team she's coaching would follow her example, things'd be great!

She tried putting the whole squad on a diet, but she left it up to them to monitor their own diet, which was just a recipe for disaster. I highly doubt even one them ever even considered trying to stick to a diet. because let me tell you, that squad has not lost one pound yet!

Now I can't speak for all of them, but I can fully guarantee you that some of them have actually gained weight. I'm pretty good friends with Holly, the head cheerleader, and we hang out sometimes. She's actually mature, where most of the rest of the girls are really immature and super annoying. She's actually 20 because the school kept holding her back, and I'm guessing that has a lot to do with it.

Anyways, we were talking the other day, well, actually we were tanning, and munching on some pizza because we both felt like we were starving, and then, like right after we open the third one, she goes "I really shouldn't be doing this."

I'm thinking she means tanning, so I'm like "What?"

And then she says "Last Friday, before the game, I could barely squeeze my tits into my uniform."

That's saying something because, and I don't know if she knew this, I don't think she did, but just so happen to know for a FACT that the school actually bought those uniforms a bit bigger than how the girls measured, just in case of this, just in case any of them gained weight, and hey, here she is, getting bigger, just like they were worried would happen. So I looked Holly over to see just how bad it was; I had a really good view, 'cause she was dressed in her bikini and sure enough, she was looking kinda chubby. Maybe a little fat even, I don't know, it was hard to tell, but she definitely had a muffin top going on.

And she's not the only one on the squad like that, I was talking to the second-in-command, Kaitlyn, and she was saying her ass would be hanging all the way out the bottom of her cheer skirt now if it weren't for her bloomers, and how even THOSE were getting tough to get on. From the look of her, I'd believe all that in a heartbeat.

She looked like a sausage the way she was packed into the clothes she had on, and if you've SEEN how she looks squashed into her cheer uniform, you'd know it was true too. She's not helping herself either, judging by the pint of ice cream and the box of Oreos she had sitting in her buggy. Pretty sure THOSE weren't on the diet Chels put them on!

The rest of the girls aren't any better, but I don't talk to any of them much, so I can't really say anything for sure. What I CAN say for sure is that they've invested a LOT of time and money at the KFC, and that they haven't even tried a pyramid for weeks, almost definitely because there is no WAY they could do that. They'd probably all get a hernia.

I got to wonder how much Holly weighs now, I bet she'd probably tell the truth if I asked her. But then she'd probably ask me back, and I haven't been by a scale in a LONG time, let me tell you! I don't know what I weigh, and I'd really prefer NOT to right now! Maybe after I lose a few pounds. Which will be SOON, just you watch!

Laney's doing good, she's loving her job at Dunkin' Donuts, and let me tell you, you can TELL! Woman's got to be eating like three dozen donuts a day the way she's been gaining! I'm almost willing to bet you a hundred bucks she's back up over three hundred by now! Well, maybe not THAT big, but she's definitely getting close! Let's just say her boobs are back up to their normal size!

Wish MY boobs would do like that, I mean, they aren't slacking, don't get me wrong, but a G-cup? MAN that's huge! I got DD's, which is, I mean, pretty big, but compared to THAT?

But hey, I still have it going on; guys like a nice round ass too, and as you can plainly see, I got PLENTY of that! Getting more, as of late, which is worrying, but I've got it under control, I think, it's not gonna get TOO much bigger, I don't think.

Besides, it's nowhere near as humongous as Elizabeth's, but I really can't imagine getting that fat. God, I don't think I could HANDLE being that big even.

I mean, she just sits around and eats like all day, and I don't know how she can force herself into her clothes! I have no clue what she weighs exactly, I probably don't WANT to know, but she's GOT to be like three hundred pounds the way she looks!

And the weirdest part of it all is, she's been getting way more guys after her than I am. I really just do not get it. Look at me, okay? Would you say I'm hot? Be one hundred percent honest, don't worry about my hurting my feelings, am I hot?

Okay, so then explain to me, why are all these guys ignoring me and chasing my SISTER'S fat ass? I mean I get it, some guys like a big butt, but when it's attached to my sister, who's the size of a freaking MANATEE, you'd think they'd back away!

It just doesn't make sense! Here I am, a skinny, hot chick, and they pass me over for my disgustingly fat, whale of a little sister? Okay, maybe not "skinny" anymore but relatively thin! Okay, a slightly chubby hot chick, but even THAT'S exaggerating my size!

I mean, what is it? I've tried dressing sexy, and believe me, it gets results, but still she gets more attention; it just doesn't make sense! Every night, she's got a date, and I'm sitting alone at home with Ben & Jerry's, which, let's be honest, isn't helping my case in the slightest, but it makes me feel better! And you know she's probably stuffing her fat ass at some all-you-can-eat buffet. I just don't get it!

But don't get me started on that, what else is new. . . Do you by any chance, remember Jessica Busby? She was one of the girls I introduced you to at Christmas, I think. No? I didn't introduce you? Well I meant to. Still, you must have seen her. Seriously, there was no WAY you could miss her, considering how much SPACE she took up.

She was the disgustingly fat, really tan one with the really long hair and big, big, BIG butt. The one squashed into those ridiculously tight stretchy jeans and super tight, super low-cut tank top. Yeah, that girl! Well, she just got engaged! It's even MORE surprising if you actually could see her now, you'd never BELIEVE the ridiculous amount of weight she's gained since Christmas and you remember she was then, probably like two hundred, two hundred fifty pounds. And now she's even BIGGER! Gotta be something like three hundred fifty at LEAST!

Tell me, how does a beached whale of a woman like THAT land a man and a girl as hot as I am stay single? Do they even MAKE wedding dresses that big or are they going to have to sew her one out of a circus tent?

Okay, I'm getting upset. This is what I specifically did not want to talk about at the start, let's change subjects, okay? What do you think about Emily starting up a bakery out here? Good idea, no? I think so, and she's getting ready, she's trying to get everything set up there before she quits at the vet, but she's nearly done. She's been practicing all her recipes lately, so I think she's probably put on a pound or two, but it's not noticeable on her, it just kind of blends in.

Not so much on me, but you know I can't resist when she shares with me, which believe me, isn't helping me at ALL. I've been trying to get exercise more, though, balance out a little bit. I've actually gone jogging twice this week, which is, I know, nowhere near what I need to be doing, but better than nothing. Like I said, my ass has gotten a LITTLE bigger, but I'm really close to getting under control.

I'm sorry, but I gotta go, it was nice talking to you; see you soon!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 05-25-2012 at 11:28 AM.
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Old 11-18-2012, 06:48 PM   #31
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Southern Story#16: Chelsea's Rant

Hey, how've you been? Good, I hope?

Awesome. I'm doing decent, I guess. . . Things with the cheer squad have been pretty crazy lately, so that's been taking up a lot of my time. Oh, they're a good bunch of girls, they're smart enough, nice enough, but. . .

They can be. . .

frustrating. . .

Okay, no, no no no, I'm sorry, but no, I just can not do it anymore, I am THROUGH trying to pretend and act all nice about these STUPID, STUPID girls! They are CRAZY!

Oh, you don't even KNOW, okay? So I do all this stuff, try and set a good example for them; I've lost FIFTY pounds to try and set an example, FIFTY! And what's their response? They just ignore me and do their own thing!

It was the first week, when I was first having all those problems with them because they couldn't do even the most basic stunts, I put them all on a diet so they'd lose weight and get in good enough shape to do this stuff. I was on one, too, so they wouldn't feel alone or anything, but NONE of them stuck to it. Of the seven of them, three have gotten too fat for their uniforms, WHICH, if you remember, were a size LARGER than they actually needed!

I lost fifty pounds, they found them! And of COURSE, they couldn't admit they needed larger uniforms either; noo, that'd be the DECENT thing to do; they just lied about it and kept them closed with safety pins! I didn't even know there were any problems until Holly's boobs came bouncing out in the middle of a game! Then, a week later, the other two ripped theirs sitting along the sides during halftime!

How did they manage this, you ask? They were eating nachos! Yeah, that's right, Kaitlyn and her friend Katie ate FOUR bowls of nachos apiece and 'cause of that, their stomachs was swoll up so much that when they stood up, their uniforms just freaking ripped apart! And the other girls aren't any better, they're MAYBE two pounds from busting apart at the seams! There is ONE GIRL, JUST ONE who is NOT super close to busting out and do you KNOW WHY THAT IS? IT'S BECAUSE ALL OF HER FAT STICKS TO HER FAT ASS; SERIOUSLY THAT IS THE ONLY REASON!

Ugh, I'm so sorry I lost my temper just now, it's just that. . . UGH! This whole thing's just so IRRITATING!

I really shouldn't be taking this out on you, I'm sorry. Thanks for listening though, you don't even know how much I needed that right now; I've just been keeping it all balled up inside me, and thanks for being so understanding, most guys would've run off!

All this stress isn't doing me ANY good; you know I've already gained back nine of the fifty pounds I had lost? I'm back into the one-eighties, and it's all these stupid cheerleaders faults!

No, yeah, you're right, I need to relax a bit; it's not MY fault they're stupid, I just need to breathe a minute, focus on something else. Like Laney, it's been too long since last time I talked to her; how's she doing? What? Oh, I no, I can't go visit her when she's at work, I couldn't resist the urge to get a donut, and then I'll be back where I started in no time.

Well, maybe I should stop in sometime; once can't hurt, and maybe I could get like a bagel or something like that, something not ridiculously fattening. How's she doing? Last I saw,she was looking GOOD!

She hasn't gained back all the weight, has she? Ah, well that sucks, wait, Tori said what now? Oh, well I don't know if you've noticed, but Tori is just the WORST at guessing weights. Tori's notorious for thinking people are fifty pounds heavier than they are. Knowing it was HER speaking, my guess is Laney's gained back some of the weight, but probably not ALL of it. I'll have to go see her sometime soon, get the real story.

So what else did she say? Did she tell you about Jessica's wedding? Well the reception's a public event, so just know that you're welcome to come if you wanted, heck, any one of us'd be happy to escort you as a friend if you're worried you'd feel awkward or something, but you're welcome no matter what, the more the merrier! It's not for a while, but we'd all love to see you there!

I don't know why Tori was acting so mean about Jess, jealousy, I guess? Anyway, Jess is an absolutely wonderful and beautiful woman, I mean, yeah, Tori wasn't lying, she really IS big, but she's not three hundred fifty pounds! She told me herself right after she got measured for a dress, she's two hundred seventy! See, that's what I was saying; that's how far off Tori's estimates of weight are!

Hmm? Oh, yeah, Elizabeth's doing great, she really is having the time of her life! It's like she said, she's got dates every night of the week, and she is just LOVING it. At least once a week, a boy takes her to the all-you-can-eat buffet and she nearly closes the place.

She's still working at the law office, but from what I've seen whenever I go in there, I'm fairly sure she's just there as eye candy. Like I told you, she's really NOT secretary material, but Shep Crawford's been eying her for months now. But she gets a paycheck, so I suppose she does SOMETHING or other.

Emily's just about totally moved into what's going to be her new bakery, she's announced she'll be quitting the vet next Friday and they'll probably be opening the week after that! You'll have to try something, I PROMISE you won't regret it. She's been practicing for when she opens, so she's been cooking a cake for every meal. Which, as you can clearly see, is NOT good for my diet!

Elizabeth takes most of it, but I make it a point to elbow her out the way so I can get a piece or two. No matter how full I am, I just can't resist, her cooking is THAT good.

Really, once this bakery is a real thing, you just HAVE to stop by! You'll probably get addicted and end up a fat blob like the rest of us! Ha, no, I kid, but believe me, it IS that good. Oh god, I hope for the sake of my already oversized figure that she won't give us a family discount! But you know, of course she will. I'll probably be five hundred pounds by Christmas! God, could you just IMAGINE?

Actually, you've seen mama, probably not too difficult after that, but still. The rest of my sisters are on their way to that, but I'm pretty determined not to go that road. I've lost fifty pounds once, I can do it again, it's just a matter of will-power, which I have.

You know what? What you were saying earlier? You're right, It'll be okay, me going to go see Laney now. I've been putting it off for too long, and I could always get myself a bagel or something too, I'm a little hungry. Actually, you know what, I've stuck to the diet all the last few days, I can afford a donut I think, just one. Just this once.

This was good thanks, okay, see you later!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 11-19-2012 at 07:52 PM.
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Old 07-12-2013, 06:19 AM   #32
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Default A Southern Story: Shopping with Tori

A Southern Story #17: Shopping With Tori


Oh! Hey! Uh. . . Didn’t really expect anyone to be here, what’s up?

Ha, shoulda known, I’m here for the same thing. Least I know I’m not the ONLY procrastinator in this town, putting off shopping for the Jess’ reception ‘til the last minute!

Oh shut up, you got nothing to worry about, you’re a guy! No one’s going to be off in the corner going all ‘she looks like freaking TERRIBLE!’ You guys got it EASY. We LADIES get stamped with the slut label over freaking nothing!

That’s actually why I’m here. I had asked Elizabeth to pick one up in my size, only yeeeaaah, bad idea. You know Elizabeth’s sense of humor. She came back with this massively slutty thing, I’m talking like Marilyn Monroe low cut, two sizes small, not even long enough to cover my ass, and then, when I called her out on it she was all ‘Don’t look at me, all those extra donuts must be catching up to you!”

Can you even believe that girl? I mean yeah, I’m not skinny anymore, but like she can even talk, at least I'm TRYING not to be a blimp, I mean, have you SEEN her lately? Chick’s getting HUGE! Like, have you SEEN her lately? Oh, trust me. You’d remember. She’s the 220lb. pig, waddling around town with her massive ass gobbling up her booty shorts, her gigantic gut hanging down out her shirt!

Okay, you mind if I go on a quick rant right here? Okay, so it’s like, all of a sudden, that’s TOTALLY okay for a girl her size! It’s like everybody in town’s just gone and decided that being fat as a cow’s not that bad. You know what I’m talking about, right? Okay, how the hell have you not noticed? You blind? Seriously, like, do you have eye problems???

Examples? Ummm. . .

Okay, I told you about plenty about Lily already, uh. . . OOH, okay, so you know Treppendahl’s, the grocery store? Okay, so you’ve seen that one cashier, the short one, reddish hair, and the uh, ginormous jugs? HA, course that would be what you remember. Yeah, that’s my cousin Cheryl. Okay, so, do you remember how she looked when you got here? That’s alright; I got a picture here in my purse from a family reunion, about three years ago. Okay, so she’s like 19 here, and you notice anything different? Liiiike, maybe, FORTY POUNDS? We didn’t take pictures at the last one we had, like four months ago, but you couldn’t hardly tell it was the same girl she’s porked up so bad!

And the worst bit is she was like, one of the skinniest AT the reunion! I swear, at this point I am literally the only girl in town who gives a crap that they’re getting fat! Only, it’s like I can’t do anything to STOP it, I keep on trying to stick to diets, but stuff keeps getting in the way and people keep giving me food and crap, like they’re trying to keep me from losing weight!

Okay, example, I WAS gonna go on one, starting today, but then it turned out Emily was doing the refreshments, and I mean, I’m not about to insult my own FAMILY, even IF they’re making me fat as the pigs l. WHICH, I want to say, they ARE. I love them and all, but I’d just be lying if I said they weren’t some seriously fat chicks.

So now diet’s starting the day after the wedding, assuming there’s no leftovers, which there won’t be, considering how morbidly obese every woman in town is getting.
So I’ve got ONE day of letting myself act like a hog, then I’m going cold turkey, no more junk food. But that means I gotta be prepared for tomorrow, know what I mean? I can’t go getting like, a dress that’s gonna pop off after a Diet Coke and a piece of pie, I gotta get something with a little ROOM, know what I mean?

Oh wow, I can’t believe I’m saying this, this is like, so bad. It’s all just like, promotion for Emily’s bakery, you know, I’m just eating it all so people see how much I’m enjoying it so they want to go there too. But at the same time, like, I’m still eating like a cow.

OH yeah, I am like, freaking OUT right now; I don’t even know what I’m gonna buy, like, how do I know if I look, like, slutty or something? I need like. . .
HEY! You’re a guy, think you could do me a favor and help me out? Come on, please please please? OH MY, thank you, like, SO much! Okay, we gotta go by the food court first, I figure if I got a full stomach when I try on the dress it’ll fit better when I’m eating tomorrow. There we go!

Thank you SO much for doing this, it means a lot, really. Okay, what do they got here. . . Wendy’s, that’ll work, I’ll just get like, what’s the biggest thing they have here. . . Hot ‘N Juicy burger sounds good, I’m gonna take that, you want anything? Okay, yes, I’ll have that, and can you get me a medium Frosty to go with it? Yes, that’ll be all, thanks!

Ugh, I cannot believe I’m gonna eat this, like, can you even IMAGINE how many calories are in this? This is like, SO bad. I just gotta keep telling myself it’s all for Emily. . .
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

PHEW, Okay that was AMAZING, next time I have a cheat day, I’m gonna have to remember this! Okay, so now, dress time! OOF! Okaaay. . . Whew, you’re gonna have to give me a minute, I can’t stand up just yet. WAY more food than I needed. I’ve been slowly building up to this like, all day, just snacking constantly. I actually ate on the drive over here too, at Pizza Hut. Have you tried that, I think it’s called like, the PANormous personal pizza? Stupid name, but that meat lover’s hit the SPOT! But oof, I think I overdid it just now, give me a few minutes.

Crap, don’t you HATE it when this happens? Like, you’re just eating, enjoying a good meal, then you finish up and you realize just how much you ate, and you can’t move right, and all you can do is lean back and hate yourself for a few seconds? Ugh, see, THIS is the problem; I am WAY too familiar with this feeling! I can blame my sisters all I want, but ultimately, you know it’s MY fault I’m here, ‘cause that dress Elizabeth got me, that would have freaking FALLEN OFF of me when we first met, but now it’s like, I’m packed in so tight I can’t breathe and I got fat hanging out all over.

But, I’m being for real; this is the last time I eat like this, after tomorrow. It’s gonna be that, then no more. I’m going on a diet as soon as I wake up after the party, and that’s gonna be IT. No more stopping for donuts every morning, none of that, I’m going COLD TURKEY on the junk food. Soon as I get stopped doing THIS to myself every other day, eatin’ ‘til I’m too fat to move, I’ll start losing again, get back to where I was, no time flat.
Oof, yeah, I can move again, just, like, walk really slow, alright?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

So these are the options! I’m leaning towards THIS one because, I mean, it shows off my hot ass, and the color’s good and all, but I’m worried about my boobs. Does my cleavage make it look like I’m a whore? No? Okay good, ‘cause I know they’re pretty much out there on their own. Totally not my fault; it’s getting hard to keep ‘em hidden if you know what I mean!

At least I’m trying though, you should see some of the dresses my friends are going with, like, no joke, compared to them, It’s gonna be like I’m wearing a parka. Elizabeth’s is pretty awful too, you should see it. Oh no, really, just you wait, if I tell you, it’s gonna spoil it!

Oh my word, I cannot even stand to look in that mirror, I am such a PIG! Like, I cannot hardly believe that’s actually ME, standing there, looking like I’m six months preggers! Ugh, I seriously need to get control of myself!

Aww, you’re sweet. Lying out your ass, but sweet. It’s okay, it’s not TOO bad, I don’t think, and just imagine how this is gonna fit once I drop all this weight! Yeah, this is it; I’m definitely going with it, thanks for your help! I’ll let you get on with your shopping now, I’ve kept you long enough; see you tomorrow!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 07-12-2013 at 07:44 PM.
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Old 07-12-2013, 09:01 PM   #33
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A Southern Story #18: Tori's Drunken Rant

Hey, good looking! Thanks again for your help last night, you’re a life-saver, for real.

So you seen everything yet? Awesome,let me show you around, starting. . . by the snack table! Haaa, told you how I was going whole hog, like, literally, an’ I MEANT it! Ha, like you couldn’t even tell, my tummy’s poppin’ out like a big ole beach ball under my dress! Here, have you a whisky, it’s good, trust me! I’m not gonna say EXACTLY, but I may have had. . . a few. Haaa, not tellin’ HOW many, though, you gotta guess that for your OWN self! And you gotta try that barbecue over there, it’s like heaven stuffed inside a pig!

NO, NO, you keep right here right now, go over there LATER! ‘CAUSE I WANNA GO WITH YA! . . .And, like, Holly’s over there. . . naw, it’s stupid. . . it’s just like, we were friends and I was like, trying to give her some advice and. . .

Okay, for real, look at her. That girl is WAY too big, up top and uh, everywhere else! To be struttin’ around here wearin’ that Marilyn Monroe outfit, it’s just an accident WAITIN’ TO HAPPEN. So I told her that and she was all ‘ugh, are you calling me FAT?” and I was like ‘uh, not tryin’ ta be mean or nothin’, but yeah, definitely! Like, as a friend, you’re waaay too fat for THAT!”

So of course she went all “Uh, well, Marilyn Monroe was plus sized, you know” and I told her flat out,I was like, “ Uh, girl, if Marilyn Monroe was plus-sized, then you’re definitely, like, plus, plus, PLUS sized!”

So now she’s all pissed off, and I am too, I mean, I was just trying to be a good friend n' HELP her, and she gets all mad at me? Uh, not cool! NOT TO MENTION I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT! She keeps going out there and dancing, and every time she either has to stop after like, five seconds and tuck her tits back in or they completely fall out, n' she’s not exactly sober neither, so you can figure which one it is!

At least she’s not over here; we got that chocolate fountain, yeeaaahh! I got something n’ for real, you gotta try this! Emily made this strawberry shortcake, you just go and dip it in the fountain, and it’s like, the greatest thing EVER, like for real, here, I’ll show you how it works! Gimme that cake!

AW NO! This one’s all MINE. You make your OWN! OH MY, this is amazing! You don't even KNOW, I love chocolate fountains! Whoever invented them, I want to kiss them on the mouth! It’s like, you just take something already delicious, then you make it ten times as good! Like, anything on this table, try it, just like, grab something AT RANDOM and dip it in, it’ll be worth it, I PROMISE you. No for real, anything, it’s ALL good, trust me, I’ve tried it all at LEAST once! Here, let me do it. . .

Umm. . . oh, YES, jelly donut! Oh yeah, this was one of the best ones. . . Oof, getting’ kinda crowded down there in my tummy! Gotta get all this out overeatin’ stuff my system before tomorrow, right? Oh yeah, like I told you last night, that’s definitely, like, without a doubt, happening, the last time I eat too much, like, ever, ya know?

But the rest of what I said, like, you know how I told you how I needed to dress sorta kinda not-slutty? Yeah, I’m definitely the only one here who even REMEMBERED that! Look around, like, I swear, these girls are totally shameless!

Holly’s like, totally normal around here ‘n she’s got her popping out o’ her top prolly every thirty seconds! Okay, yeah, you’re right she’s PROLLY worse than most of them, but still, like, not even by that much! Okay, lil’ stuff, like, uh, look around, every single woman’s got an obvious panty line! Well okay, there’s a couple of ‘em don’t, like Lily, but I already know in HER case it’s cause she’s not wearing panties!

Most of ‘em are totally about to rip out those dresses any minute now, and OOH, you missed it, a couple of ‘em already DID! Oh god, it was hilarious! You remember I told you last night about my cousin Cheryl? ‘Member how I said she had these gigantic tits? Well, found out tonight she’s been getting’ an ass on her, too! She was here for like, ten minutes, went out on the floor, started grindin’ up on some guy, she bent over, and all of a sudden her fat ass tore through! Hah, guess she got some of my side of the family’s ass along with wherever them boobies came from!

‘N SHE’S NOT ALONE! I swear this town’s gone totally stupid about how fat they are, like, I bet you at least 98% of the girls here are obese, at LEAST that, and the ones that aren’t, they’re from out of town! AN’ THEY DON’T EVEN CARE! Hell, s'almost like they’re out there TRYIN’ to turn into hogs!

Like, have you SEEN the bride? ‘Member how, way back when, I told you she was like, way humongous? Well, if you see her, she’s even BIGGER! I know, hard to believe, but just wait 'til ya see— HEY, there, she’s over there at that table, stuffing her face, even got people BRINGING HER FOOD. I swear, she’s not even gonna make it to eating the cake before she rips that wedding dress WIDE freaking open! I swear I’m the only person here who thought to leave some slack for how much I was gonna eat!

Aand there it is, Holly’s tits are hangin' out AGAIN! You think by now she’d figure it out n' stop going out on the dance fl. . . WAIT a second, Holly’s not at that table anymore!Hurry up, let’s get some of that barbecue! *oof* Okay then, edit, let’s walk SLOWLY to the barbecue. Little help here?

Oh yes, I feel it when I’m trying to walk! I swear, this should be like, an Olympic sport, drinking a little then stuffing yourself and trying to walk like, a certain distance, ‘cause this is seriously like, phew!

Okay, whew, we made it! Listen at me, breathin’ like I just run a marathon, THIS IS WHY I’M DONE AFTER TONIGHT! UGH, I’m out of shape!

Phew! Well, what you waitin’ on, grab yourself a plate and get you some of this! And, uh, grab me one too, would ya? I know, I really shouldn’t, but like, this is my last chance to eat good food! There’s a chair over here, would you be awesome and bring that over here, too so I can sit and still be able to reach the food? Aww, you’re awesome!

*OOF* Whew, now I’m here, don’t think I’m gonna be movin’ much at ALL the rest of the night! Heh, not sure I could, even if I WANTED to, so full right now! But it’s my last night, so I gotta get me all the barbeque I can cram into me, even if it hurts!

Aww heck, the whisky’s on the other end o’ the table, could I get ONE more TEENSY WEENSY favor out o’ you? Could you bring the bottle over closer? No, I want the whole bottle, and a glass, I’m done, I’m sittin’ here the rest of the night, might as well get fucked up at the same time!

‘Right now, I taken up all your time here, 'n now I'm stuck here, but your not, so get your butt out there and PARTY!!! I'll see ya later, so friggin' GO already!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 07-13-2013 at 10:06 PM.
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Old 07-15-2013, 12:44 PM   #34
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A Southern Story #19: Elizabeth at the Reception

Hey! Glad you showed up! Didnít see you at the wedding, and I know you donít really know Jess, so I wasnít really sure youíd show.

Saw you over there talking to Tori, and I feel for you. Sheís. . . not entirely sober, you might have noticed. She talked your ear off, didnít she. Ha, yeah, thatís how she is when she gets like that.

Letís head over by the food so I can have some more snacks. Girlís gotta keep her figure, am I right? The tableís right over. . . okay no, that one has six girls already clearing it off, so weíll have to go over. . . dangit, that oneís surrounded too, so. . . There we are, that oneís open! And by open, I mean thereís only two girls working on it.

Better hurry, though, thatís Jenna and Carrie over there. Shouldnít bother us too much, but you can tell, just by how they look, theyíre big eaters. Funny thing is, Carrie used to be like Tori is. Back in high school, she was ragging on me CONSTANTLY, making fun of me or being big. And look where she is NOW, got an ass bigger than one of those big old exercise balls. Not that Iíve seen one of those since like, senior year of high school, since, I think youíve noticed, Iím not EXACTLY a fitness nut! Even dancingís too much work, thatís why Iím over here, sticking to snacking!

Yeah, thatís one of the most awesome things about this party, thereís, like, twenty different refreshment tables, piled up to the sky with freaking amazing food. Thatís what happens when the brideís creeping up on three hundred pounds! And Emís totally outdone herself with what she brought! Like, here, try this! Good, isnít it? Yeah, you SAVOR that, because youíre not getting anymore. This platter, all mine. You want one, walk over there and try to take one from some OTHER table! That is, if you can get past all the girls swarming around it

! Hey, Tori said something like you helped her pick a dress?

Heh, high five; that was a nice choice for her. Not as hilarious as the one I picked out, definitely a little more roomy than it could have been, but still, not bad, not bad! Sheís probably spent the whole time going on about how sheís Ďtotally starting a diet tomorrowí isnít she?

Ha, figured as much! And you know, I bet you fifty bucks sheís actually going to do it. . . until about lunch, anyway! Anyway, she kept totally raving about how you were such a big help last night, but then I saw the dress. Itís like, does she seriously not notice how her back fat is pouring over the top? I mean, I got that, too, but Iím doing it on purpose!

Oh and I found out, Iím not the only one around here doing that! I actually heard Callie at the drug store Ė Huh? oh, sheís the one over there by the DJ booth with that big old plate loaded down with foodó she was saying something about how her boyfriend told her he liked her fat so she was stuffing herself like crazy! Heh, looks like itís working, too!

I can tell you from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, that is the ass of someone with a more than healthy appetite! Iím thinking sheís put on at least. . . eight pounds since I heard her say that? Straight to the ass, obviously, that thingís not going to be fitting in movie theater seats for much longer, I can tell you THAT from experience, too, I havenít been able to sit comfortably there for about twenty pounds now! But I figured out how to get around that, just bring one of those foldout chairs with you into the theater and set it out in the stairway, and youíre set.

Sheís not the only one either, thereís some others, I swear, they no WAY theyíre not trying! Like Kalynn over there, by the chocolate fountain, about to pop out the top of her green dress. Laney told me sheís by the Dunkin Donuts twice every day for the past two weeks, both times ordering 18 chocolate covered, and I KNOW I see her in Macdonaldís at least every other day. She was in front of me just yesterday, ordered two meals, super-size and a shake. And Iím not even going INTO how fast sheís been gaining!

Faster than me, thatís for sure. I think Iíve hit some kind of plateau, been at 219 for a few weeks now. And trust me, itís NOT because I been slacking off on eating, itís just my bodyís gotten used to how much I eat, so now itís just keeping me at this weight. Which sucks because now Iím gonna have to specifically try and eat more, which is kinda difficult considering how freaking much Iím eating as it is!

Itís natural, I guess, happens to a girl, but I gotta get past it! Laneyís actually plateaued recently, too, but sheís way bigger than I am, like a little over a hundred pounds bigger. Oh yeah, sheís gained about thirty pounds since sheís got a job at Dunkiní Donuts! It turns out, shocking though it may be, fattyís got a weakness for donuts, especially if theyíre cream filled! Sheís not around right now, but Iím telling you, sheís almost as big as Emily now! But sheís stopped gaining, for the most part at least.

Chelseaís picked up the slack, though, let me TELL ya! She told you how she lost fifty pounds to be a good example for the cheerleaders, right? Well, soon as she realized the cheerleaders were telling her they were sticking to their diets, then pigging out at MacDonaldís, she said screw it and went back to eating how she wanted, and let me tell you, itís only been like, what, two months, and sheís gone from about 150 back up to 172, and look at her over there by the chocolate fountain! She might actually have gained a bit, just in the last week since she told me she was at 172!

They should be cutting the cake pretty soon. Good, Iíve actually been holding off on the refreshments, not completely, of course, just not gorging myself on them like I normally do. I figure if I hold of a bit, I can eat that much more wedding cake and ice cream. Everyone else is eating like crazy, so I figure thereís gonna be WAY more cake than they can handle. I mean, just take a look around you, most of them are hanging around refreshment tables, their bellies so full they look preggers! They GOTTA be reaching full capacity. More cake for me! And thatís a LOT.

Especially since. . . Oh itís awesome; so Emily told me, Jess gave into her morbid obesity cravings and ordered THREE separate wedding cakes, the smallest of which is a full double-decker. And with the way everyoneís plowing through these refreshments, Iím thinking thereís going to be hardly any leftover refreshments and a LOT of wedding cake. And since thereís that much cake and theyíre pretty decent friends, Emilyís set out a deal, she gets to take home half of whatís left, and all of the other refreshments. Ha, Iím thinking good luck to Tori and her diet when thereís half a cake and a buffet of desserts laying around the kitchen tomorrow morning!

Not that sheíll GET all of it. Nah, she probably wonít even get MUCH of it since Iím trying to get past this slump Iím in, after all. Gotta keep my hot booty nice and huge, try and get past this plateau Iím at! And let me tell you, thatís gonna take a LOT of eating!

So for real, Iím not really eating much until I can get to that cake. I mean, not much by MY standards. Iím eating, obviously, but only like, one of everything, which is NOTHING compared to literally any other chick here.

Ooh! Theyíre wheeling out the first cake! Sorry to ditch you like this, but I GOTTA be at the front of the line, so talk to you later?

Last edited by Britt Reid; 07-15-2013 at 07:15 PM.
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Old 07-16-2013, 09:07 AM   #35
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A Southern Story #20: Emily's New Job

Oh, hey! I was wondering if you’d be stopping by here any time soon!

Oh, not that I was expecting you to drop by like it was some kinda responsibility you had or anything, it’s just I know you were at the reception and that’s where most of my business has been coming from! I’m sorry I couldn’t come and say hi, but I was busy in the kitchen trying to make enough refreshments to keep the tables full. And that was some work, let me tell you!

But it was WORTH it, everybody’s been saying all these super nice things, and you wouldn’t BELIEVE how much business I’ve gotten from people who said they were coming because of the food they had there! It’s been what now, three months since the reception, I STILL have people coming in and saying that! I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time for much else! I’d hire a helper, but I kinda feel like doing it all on my own, it’s a more personal kind of thing, like every cookie is like a small gift from me personally, know what I mean?

Ah, course you don’t, it’s stupid, I know. It’s okay, though, because I just love baking, so I’m not really working, I’m just doing what I love. What is it they say, ‘If you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life?’ aah, something like that.

Only real problem I’ve been having is that I don’t really have time to cook home meals, so I’ve been living off fast food and a LOT of the stuff I’m baking. Heh, pretty obvious, isn’t it? Oh, don’t even act like you can’t see it, even on a woman my size, you can’t miss the 40 pounds I’ve put on since I’ve opened this place up!

It’s not like it’s a big DEAL or anything, I mean, it makes it harder to do a lot of stuff, but hey, what can ya do? Aww, pfft, exercise WHERE? Not like there’s a gym around here or anything! Besides. I don’t think they even MAKE exercise clothes my size! Preetty sure they DON’T. Not that, you know, I’ve checked lately, but considering I can hardly find normal clothes my size, I think it’s probably a pretty good assumption!

Hmmph, it’s not like a gym would last long around here, even if one tried to start up! Tori’d sign up for a membership, then probably never go back, so that’s maybe ONE whole person in this entire town that’d pay to be a member. The rest of the women around here, I think have resigned to the fact, like I have, that they’re gonna get fat and nothing they can do is going to stop it. Heck some of them, they’re flat out TRYING to get fat!

Elizabeth’s definitely one of that bunch. She’s eating pretty much constantly and keeps complaining how she’s leveled out recently and how she’s trying to get past the plateau, but honestly, I’m not seeing much difference. She’s been at more or less the same weight since before the reception. Maybe five pounds heavier, but definitely no more than that.

But she’s not the only one doing it anymore. There’s a couple others around her. I’m not going to go into details, but there’s this one girl, Shelley Gates, comes in here every day and buys a dozen cookies. I mentioned this to Laney and apparently she does the same thing with buying 18 donuts on a daily basis. I asked her about it one day and she told me how she’d realized all her weight went straight to her boobs, and how it was like an all-natural breast enlargement, so she was trying to gain a little weight.

Let me tell you, she’s gained a LOT more than a ‘little weight,’ girl’s gained at least thirty pounds in the past few months and the way she’s headed, she’ll be getting a LOT bigger before much longer! And don’t tell anyone I said this, but she’s wrong about it ALL going to her boobs. I mean, maybe it was, right at first, but she’s got a good sized gut growing on her now.

Uh, what else. . . Oh, Laney’s doing fine right now, she actually got promoted to manager at the Dunkin’ Donuts, which is nice. She’s been adjusting to suddenly having a desk job, sitting around all day. She’s got kinda mixed feelings about it, though, she keeps saying she gets jittery sitting down all day, and complaining how she’s gained 25 pounds just since the promotion. I don’t know what she’s complaining about, I’d love to weigh only 326 pounds! This gut is a little more than I want to be carrying around with me everywhere I go! But, you know, I don’t think it’ll be going away anytime soon. Big as it is, I think it’s gonna be with me the rest of my life, no matter what I do to try and get rid of it.

Um, and Chelsea’s alright, I guess. She’s still in a bit of a funk from all that junk with the cheerleaders. She’s gained back all that weight she’d lost and then some, told me last week she was up to 236, eight pounds heavier than ever before, and just between you and me, she LOOKS it, especially when she’s walking around the house in her underwear. We got the Christmas festival coming up before too much longer, and at this rate she’ll be waddling around at 250 by then! It’s not helping that she comes in here every couple days and buys stuff, I mean, none of this stuff is exactly ‘low-calorie!’ She keeps saying she’s basically given up on being skinny, but she’s still searching online for workout clothes her size, so I’m not sure she’s really telling the truth about that.

Tori’s STILL not giving up hope she’ll get skinny sometime soon. I don’t know what it’s going to take for her to get the message that big as she is, even if she manages it, she’s not going to get rid of it fast. She keeps going on these crash diet she says are proven to work really fast, but she usually only lasts about two days on it, then completely trashes whatever progress she might have made. Not that she MAKES any progress, she’s getting fatter than ever, but I guess it’s good she keeps trying?

But she’s gotta get it through her head, if she’s gonna lose any weight, she’s GOT to be in it for the long haul. She told me just the other day, at Sunday dinner, she was weighing at 197. She’ll be weighing over 200 pretty soon, I think, much as she tries to deny it. Not that she’ll admit it when it happens, though, I know her well enough, she’ll try to lie and cover it, act like it hasn’t happened. Go on another diet, MAYBE lose a little weight on that one since she’s got that number hanging over her head, but trust me, it won’t last long and she’ll be back to stuffing her face and acting like she’s still skinny. Not that she’d stop just because she’s over 200, I think it’s just like a habit now, she probably can’t even stop herself from doing it anymore.

She’s had two boyfriends in the past few months, and let me tell you, they did NOT help her lose weight, that’s for sure. I mean, it’s not like they’re were being straight up and encouraging her to get even fatter, but they definitely ruined her diets pretty regularly. They always fed her a LOT whenever they went out on dates, like, way too much. Like, I told you how most of her diets would last about two days? That’s because Wednesday was always ‘date night,’ and she’d go out all proud of how she was sticking to her diet, then come back looking pregnant, whining about how she’d totally ruined her diet and how now she’d have to start a new one next Monday.

I’m gonna be honest, it’s almost getting annoying, with her gaining weight constantly and STILL making comments about how I’ve put on weight, I’d tell her off, but I don’t want to make her feel bad. Elizabeth actually LIKES it whenever Tori makes a comment about her, gets all proud about it. Me and Laney just ignore it; it’s not a problem for us since we’ve been dealing with that kinda crap for years, but I’m kinda worried about the way Chelsea’s been taking it. She’s been kinda sensitive about the whole thing since the whole incident with the cheer squad, and Tori being mean about it isn’t helping.

Umm. . . Aside from that, nothing’s really been going on in the family! So, what would you like to purchase? I recommend the double layer cheesecake, I can tell you for a FACT that it’s one of the best things here. You doubt? Oh, come on, you think I haven’t sampled EVERY SINGLE THING HERE, at least a dozen times? You think I’m not an expert taste tester? Need I remind you I’m 385 pounds? Hmmph. Yeah, don’t even PRETEND I don’t know what’s good here!

Ha, you have a good day now! Come back soon!

Last edited by Britt Reid; 07-16-2013 at 10:49 PM.
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