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Old 12-18-2011, 08:53 AM   #1
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Default Fat partner -- What breaks? What doesn't?

Most FAs in live-in relationships with fat partners quickly learn that the world wasn't designed for fat people. Stuff doesn't fit. Stuff breaks. Stuff is simply not available.

My engineering mind generally assumes that things are designed to handle about 2X stress, i.e. they won't break until at least twice the load they were designed for. But that is not always the case. Over time, I've had front suspensions collapse, endless frustrations with wheels on roller chairs, toilet seats that just would not hold up, tile floors that cracked and broke, furniture designs that simply could not handle weight, numerous weak links that had to be fixed, etc., etc.

A lot, of course, is weight related. Something that can handle 250 pounds forever may not survive a single 400 pound use. Other stuff seems indestructible. Yet other products seem to always break and you can't even find anything, at any price, that will hold up.

Over time, most FAs who find themselves searching for things that will do the job get pretty good at assessing designs and capacities. Sometimes it's frustrating, as in when you see that just a bit of extra strength would do the job, but no one makes it that way.

Obviously, this affects those with supersize partners the most, but some things are fragile enough to fail even under modest stress.

What's been your experience? Challenges? Frustrations? Ideas? Suggestions?
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Old 12-18-2011, 09:36 AM   #2
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Default Pulled Loose!

At 400+ lbs, I pulled the hand pull handle over the passenger door, completely off, while getting into Mom's Buick Park Avenue.

Hope it's OK to relate my own experience.
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Last edited by imfree; 12-18-2011 at 09:39 AM. Reason: Edited to add info.
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:45 PM   #3
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I find this one of the cutest things about FAs
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Old 12-18-2011, 07:04 PM   #4
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One thing that we go through the fastest is our mattress and box springs. We are about to replace our fourth set in twelve years, we seem to get about three years to a set no matter what they cost. Its height related as much as weight, our bed sits high for under bed storage but that makes it difficult for little short Crystal to climb in. No matter how much we flip and rotate it her side always gets broken, either the heavy wire around the edge of the mattress breaks or her box spring goes. I hope our new house will be big enough that we can lower the bed a bit, I'm tired of buying mattresses.

Other things aren't such an issue, since I'm big too we don't have a lot of little people stuff around to break.
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Old 12-18-2011, 07:20 PM   #5
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Default Me Too

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One thing that we go through the fastest is our mattress and box springs....snipped...
I sleep alone and I still wore out a "good" Serta mattress in just 2 years. I'm looking for a way to fund a bariatric mattress this time!
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Old 12-19-2011, 04:55 AM   #6
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Unhappy

Chairs can be a problem. I have broken two in the last year and it sucks because they were the chairs I use to sit at the computer on. I can't afford those chairs designed for big people but I guess I am either going to have to buy stock in a cheap furniture maker or save up some money and buy something that's made for me.
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Old 12-19-2011, 07:37 AM   #7
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Escapist snapped the passenger car seat in half, so being a bit of a gearhead, I recommended hitting up the salvage yard for cheap replacements. So he and a friend were able to get almost new replacements in only 20 minutes because his mini-van his really popular. I also found this website..http://www.casagordita.com/otherstuff.htm ..that he found very helpful.
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:58 PM   #8
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Wooden toilet seats are the big thing for me. Always crack right through after a month or two although the plastic ones hold up pretty well. Box springs under my mattress begin to squeak and grown after about 6 months. Seems the structure of the box doesn't hold up for us fat guys and girls.

And while it is not a breaking issue, some of the newer model regional jets have tray tables that have a curved edge in front. Brilliant idea for those of us like myself who need lots of belly room. As it stands now, I can no longer lower a tray table on any airliner as it sits at a 45 degree angle on top of my huge gut.
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Old 12-19-2011, 03:10 PM   #9
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My hips have destroyed 2 center consols in the last 2 cars we have owned.The last one has been fixed so hopefully they used stronger plastic,but I doubt it.
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Old 12-25-2011, 09:38 AM   #10
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My hips have destroyed 2 center consols in the last 2 cars we have owned.The last one has been fixed so hopefully they used stronger plastic,but I doubt it.
Front bench seating FTW
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Old 12-25-2011, 11:31 AM   #11
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One thing that we go through the fastest is our mattress and box springs. We are about to replace our fourth set in twelve years, we seem to get about three years to a set no matter what they cost. Its height related as much as weight, our bed sits high for under bed storage but that makes it difficult for little short Crystal to climb in. No matter how much we flip and rotate it her side always gets broken, either the heavy wire around the edge of the mattress breaks or her box spring goes. I hope our new house will be big enough that we can lower the bed a bit, I'm tired of buying mattresses.

Other things aren't such an issue, since I'm big too we don't have a lot of little people stuff around to break.
Maybe this would help someone else. I toss and turn a LOT... like once an hour, all night, every night. In a mattress with springs or a cushioned memory foam top, this is hard on the bed.

I had used beds for my entire life up until 2010. At that time, I did a ton of research on the best bed for my weight, needs, etc. I couldn't afford it back then and ended up with a traditional mattress and box springs. Despite it being a supposed good quality bed, I experienced sagging within a year.

Last August, I had the chance to purchase a new bed with my partner. I put the research to use. We got a split queen box spring and a latex foam mattress and a separate memory foam topper.

The split box spring SUPPOSEDLY distributes my heavier weight to just my box spring and limits stress on the structure as a whole. The latex supposedly lasts longer than any spring mattress. The memory foam is for added comfort but, from what I've told, needs to be replaced every 1-2 years.

So far, the only issue we've had is the bed itself... which, of course, has broken. I tend to keep storage boxes under the bed for safety since I broke my first bed in 1999. The supports under the bed have come loose (has happened on every bed I've owned) so we plan to prop it up on the storage boxes for the time being.

As far as other things... I break toilet seats yearly. My knees are weird and hips are always sore so, without being graphic, to get an angle to clean myself requires some twisty perching and, over time, that snaps the toilet seat off the hinges and/or cracks it up front.

I live in constant fear that I'll break through a floor or a stair or the shower/tub. The rental we have now just feels not sturdy and creaks/bends with every breeze. I can live with the embarrassment of breakage, I'm just terrified of getting hurt in the process.
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Old 12-26-2011, 08:50 AM   #12
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As far as other things... I break toilet seats yearly. My knees are weird and hips are always sore so, without being graphic, to get an angle to clean myself requires some twisty perching and, over time, that snaps the toilet seat off the hinges and/or cracks it up front.
Elongated toilets can really help with this. Even with extra bumpers under the seat, my wife used to regularly snap the (metal) hinges on toilet seats before we installed an elongated toilet. Now, it rarely happens. (I believe it's the squirming to fit on the small seat that breaks the hinges.) If you're a renter, this may not be an option, but keep it in mind for the future.

There are also special toilet bumpers which extend slightly down into the bowl, sometimes called toilet seat stabilizers. They supposedly keep the seat centered, and prevent it from shifting sideways when you move. You can install them yourself on any seat. I haven't tried them, but they might help prevent hinge breakage.
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Old 12-26-2011, 12:51 PM   #13
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Default Fat partner -- What breaks? What doesn't?

I read the posts and was sorry to hear of the bed frame problems you have been dealing with. We at Size Friendly Furiture by Amish Crafted have made some adjustments just for you. We have over 75 beds and frames to choose from and all have the following modifications.
Size Friendly Modifications include:
Extra Frame reinforcement
Slats are dovetailed into Side Boards
Solid Hardwood Side Boards
Additional Legs on Slats
Height increase or reduction based on you!
Any headboard with drawer platform
Available in Twin, Full, Queen and King.
Send me an email at sizefriendly@yahoo.com and I will direct you to where you can see these great products.
Hope I can Help
dennis
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Old 12-26-2011, 03:29 PM   #14
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We don't generally allow commercial messages or links, but I have to say that I am a big fan of Amish craftsmanship myself.
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Old 12-26-2011, 05:24 PM   #15
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My ex and I broke our bed one night. We were having a good time and it just crashed onto the floor with no warning.

The worst part was we lived in an apartment above her parents and her step dad wasn't fooled by our lame excuses as to why the bed broke.
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Old 01-03-2012, 03:14 PM   #16
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My persistent problem is chairs, particularly chairs with arms. It is less embarassing for me to ask for a chair without arms at the start, rather than hear the sound of the chair arm cracking while I am using it. The sad part is the number of public places that do not have any chairs without arms. I purchased a very sturdy folding chair, that i keep in my car. If I am visiting a relative or friend and either know they do not have a good chair or discover that fact while I am there, I just bring my portable in from the car and say flat out it will be best if the let me use this in the long run. The moment of awkwardness when I bring it in the door is far shorter than that of embarassment when I have collapsed something else. I am who I am and I try to accept responsibility for what side effects my size causes.
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Old 01-03-2012, 03:34 PM   #17
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Broke a king-size bed with a boyfriend while house and cat-sitting for my best friend and her husband while they were visiting his folks in Sweden. We didn't even stop..ha ha ha too much fun....

When they got back, I told them, of course, and they laughed and said it was okay. She's a BBW too and they broke the bed before that one. We still laugh about it and it's been over ten years.
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:22 PM   #18
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I've been party to several bed breaking.

I've come up with very basic but effective way of modifying wooden beds. First replace the wooden ledges upon which the slats rest with larger harder stock (the factory wood is usually very poor grade) -- 2x2 oak or Douglas Fir works great. For extra strength put some carpenter's glue on the new ledges before you screw them to the side rails. If your bed has less than six slats you'll need some more. Once you have 6 to 8 slats connect two sturdy boards to the slats' under side -- this creates a semi-ridging system that transfers and defuses forces, and keeps the slats in their proper place.

Any old school wooden bed frame can me upgraded in an afternoon with one trip to the local lumber yard and a few very basic tool (wood saw, drill, screw driver).

None of the three beds I've upgraded has broken -- even with 700 plus pound of activity.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:24 PM   #19
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Default Bed Upgrade

Bed upgrades are a great idea. At 440+ lbs, I am my bed's limit, all by myself! I'll upgrade mine, if I should ever be blessed with someone to lay down beside me, by fabricating supplemental supports and deploying them midway on each bed rail. Total cap. of 800+ lbs sounds good to me.
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Old 01-26-2012, 02:05 AM   #20
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One thing that we go through the fastest is our mattress and box springs. We are about to replace our fourth set in twelve years, we seem to get about three years to a set no matter what they cost. Its height related as much as weight, our bed sits high for under bed storage but that makes it difficult for little short Crystal to climb in. No matter how much we flip and rotate it her side always gets broken, either the heavy wire around the edge of the mattress breaks or her box spring goes. I hope our new house will be big enough that we can lower the bed a bit, I'm tired of buying mattresses.

Other things aren't such an issue, since I'm big too we don't have a lot of little people stuff around to break.
My boyfriend and I also had this problem with breaking beds and mattress problems.

Solution: We each have our own bed. Two full sized beds pushed together.

It's more comfortable and we both sleep better. Our dream is a king sized tempurpedic bed though
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:06 AM   #21
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My boyfriend and I also had this problem with breaking beds and mattress problems.

Solution: We each have our own bed. Two full sized beds pushed together.

It's more comfortable and we both sleep better. Our dream is a king sized tempurpedic bed though
As a bit of an update, our bed frame broke last week so our mattress and box springs are on the floor right now. Somehow the center bar became disconnected from the bar at the head that holds the side rails together without us noticing and when we both were at the head of the bed looking out the window the head bar snapped in two. We bought a kingsize bed a few years ago and will never go back. That was one issue during our recent house hunt, finding a bed room big enough to fit our big bed and furniture.
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:11 PM   #22
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I had a BBW girlfriend break my brand new bed, the first night I had it.

No no no, not like that - she ran and jumped on it from the kitchen...

We broke the arm off the couch like that.
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:28 PM   #23
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I can't recommend this bed frame enough for those of you who break frames. It's rated to 1950 pounds, and it is amazing. Doesn't make so much as a creak. It's pretty tall, so if you use both a mattress and box spring on it, you'll be up pretty high. It's a platform style, though, so you can use it without the box spring.

The link below is to the queen size version, but it comes in twin, full, queen, and king. I highly recommend it.

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden...2/product.html
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:46 PM   #24
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Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Fat Brian has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Thank you, now that we are suddenly in the market for a new frame I will check these out.
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:45 PM   #25
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Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Isa has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley View Post
I can't recommend this bed frame enough for those of you who break frames. It's rated to 1950 pounds, and it is amazing. Doesn't make so much as a creak. It's pretty tall, so if you use both a mattress and box spring on it, you'll be up pretty high. It's a platform style, though, so you can use it without the box spring.

The link below is to the queen size version, but it comes in twin, full, queen, and king. I highly recommend it.

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden...2/product.html
Thanks for the link and review. I'm dealing with the broken frame issue right now.
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