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Old 06-25-2012, 01:01 PM   #1
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Thumbs up 40's Confessions and Observances

Man, I know what i'm about in my 40's. There's no denying it.

I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin and pretty much don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Including my family.

Ha.
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Old 06-25-2012, 03:12 PM   #2
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Every other board has one....why not one here too, eh? OK, I'll play along, and I even have something on my mind that is really probably best on this board.

When I hit forty I agreed with myself to give up vanity. I just figured that I was at an age where trying to gain other’s approval of my looks or style or status symbols was just more apt to be foolish than useful.

I’m nearly half way through my forties, and I still struggle with that one. Those brain chemical rewards for that sort of approval still sing their siren song…. Not that there is anything wrong with enjoying it when someone does toss a bit of admiration your way, but the problem is that it feels so good. It makes it so tempting to modify my behaviour in hopes of getting another scrap of praise—and the whole point of trying to give up vanity was to avoid that sort of action.

Anyway, last few weeks, it has been really hard in that regard.
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Old 06-25-2012, 04:47 PM   #3
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Every other board has one....why not one here too, eh?
Umm...you don't have to post anywhere, right? It's not like people are jumping to this area of the site so I thought I would start something. So much for that.

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Old 06-26-2012, 05:44 AM   #4
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I was not trying to be snarky--sorry if it came over that way (and you'll notice that I carried on to actually contribute to the thread). I honestly meant the words as written...just thinking out loud, as it were.
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Old 07-25-2012, 11:29 AM   #5
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Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?

Sometimes it does, but those times are mostly when I'm feeling more accepting of myself - or when I already have the approval of others, usually for something I've done, rather than something I am.
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Old 07-27-2012, 10:13 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by fat hiker View Post
Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?

Sometimes it does, but those times are mostly when I'm feeling more accepting of myself - or when I already have the approval of others, usually for something I've done, rather than something I am.
I think life is a lot easier when you aren't searching for it, that's for sure.

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Old 07-28-2012, 10:57 AM   #7
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Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?
I think the answer depends mostly on the person. For myself I reached this point somewhere in my late teens or very early 20's. For others it comes in varying points in your life I think. For some, like my mother, I don't think it ever fully went away for her. Whereas my father I think was born not giving a good damn what anybody else thought. So I guess that's a roundabout way of saying that no two people will hit that 'magic' point at the same time.
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Old 06-12-2013, 10:34 AM   #8
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Funny this...just this weekend I listened to Oprah's commencement address at Harvard, and she said something right up this alley. She said that every single person she had ever interviewed, from regular people to CEO's to George Bush to Beyonce, everyone always asked her (in some form or another0, after the interview was over, "Was I ok?".

Which in a weird way I find kind of comforting!
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Old 06-13-2013, 11:19 AM   #9
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Pride gets in the way. Your life is much easier if you give up on it.

Seeking people's approval is a foolish game. People are fickle and you can lose their approval as fast (or faster!) than you get it.

Trying to be liked by everyone is also foolish. Be true to yourself and let others decide whether they like you or not. Those who don't like you, fuck 'em. They don't matter.

Those are a few things I've learned.
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Old 06-15-2013, 04:48 PM   #10
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I have to confess being in my 40's and being a BBW has really given me a sexual high. I can't explain it but I am enjoying myself. I have been the scared most of my life because I am over weight, my younger sister is much smaller but who gives a shit...lol. I enjoy eating and my passion are to eat while being intimate with someone.I have observed my family not really wanting to hang out with me because I like FOOD and I will somehow embarress them at a restraunt when I order my food.. I get my desert and leave them there I know they talk about me but o well more for me.
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Old 06-21-2013, 06:55 AM   #11
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I have to confess as I near ending the time in my forties (will be 50 in Sept) that I never thought that it would be such a decade of change. I changed jobs twice, have studied new things, overcome injuries and personal struggles and am in the process of re discovering who I am once again. My life over the past two years has been about rehab myself from two car accidents, my husband from angioplasty surgery, my son from a rollover accident resulting in two herniated discs and many trips to ER before surgery could finally be performed. Moms terminal cancer and managing her care, her affairs and household. And now training in one job and working a second to make ends meet. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted and would be doing for my life's work. But it was not to be and as I walk through this I have discovered that no matter your age you need to be prepared to embrace change whether good or bad and that you will question yourself many times. However I have discovered my strength and that stubborn spirit telling me that I must move forward and embrace whatever comes my way. I may not know where I am going or who I will become, but I know that I have what I need to find those answers.
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Old 07-07-2013, 05:50 AM   #12
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I turned 40 last October and, at first, I truly thought nothing of it. It seemed to me that I had a more difficult time when I turned 30. As the year has gone on, I have noticed small, almost imperceptible shifts in my outlook. I spent most of my 20s married (and I had no business being married...I wasn't even a fully-formed person, for Pete's sake!) Spent most of my 30s sowing wild oats (so many men, so little ACTUAL connection and emotional growth!) And now, at the end of an almost-three-year man boycott, I'm feeling like myself...maybe for the first time. I feel so...aware. Aware of my strengths and my faults. Aware of what I actually need to thrive, and what I don't. Mostly, aware of my own power to make my life happy...alone. Which, ironically, makes me ideally suited to sharing said life with someone else.

Bring on 41!
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Old 02-23-2014, 07:56 PM   #13
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my observances...

if you love yourself, people who enjoy your qualities will be attracted to you. i have always been a big girl and owned it. it is just a state of being, not who i am as a person.

one of the lessons i have learned is that friends come in multiple levels...from the people you work with that you consider your friends but may not hang out with outside of work to the kind you have your entire life. friends come and go throughout your life. make efforts to keep the ones that you value deeply, but know when to let others go gracefully.

my confessions...

sometime i think some of the women. on here don't like me...because i am secure in my own self and don't have esteem issues.

i got married late in life after a wild and stupid youth. i knew i would only do it once and i was going to wait for the right guy rather than settle and end up divorced or miserable. (universe finally sent him my way at the ripe old age of 39...married almost 4 years and still blissfully happy)

i mean i know i am in my forties...but somehow in my head i don't think of myself as that old...until of course someone calls me m'am.
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Old 02-24-2014, 10:52 PM   #14
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My body doesn't heal as fast as it used to, and the gray whiskers in my goatee are growing more numerous. However, I do find myself thinking like the spry young college graduate with time to burn.
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Old 02-25-2014, 02:32 AM   #15
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I am finding that at 41, I am more daring than ever. I am interested and willing to experience new things.
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Old 03-31-2014, 01:58 PM   #16
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Lately, all of the men that have hit on me have been in their 20's. Nothing against younger men, but I am 41. I find that the age range is too big to cross. There are experiences as a child and teen that i lived through, that a 25 year old won't understand. They have a totally different refernece point than I do.

Are there any other BBWS going through this as well?

Maybe this should be a thread on it's own..
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:04 PM   #17
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Oh yeah. I'm living in cougarland for sure. Haha

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Originally Posted by lucca23v2 View Post
Lately, all of the men that have hit on me have been in their 20's. Nothing against younger men, but I am 41. I find that the age range is too big to cross. There are experiences as a child and teen that i lived through, that a 25 year old won't understand. They have a totally different refernece point than I do.

Are there any other BBWS going through this as well?

Maybe this should be a thread on it's own..
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:15 PM   #18
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Oh yeah. I'm living in cougarland for sure. Haha
lol.......it is crazy.. If it were 35 year olds.. I wouldn't mind too much... but 25? My oldest neice is 25! And I practically raised her!
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:21 PM   #19
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Lucca;

See, I read this:

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Originally Posted by lucca23v2 View Post
I am finding that at 41, I am more daring than ever. I am interested and willing to experience new things.
Then I read this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucca23v2 View Post
Lately, all of the men that have hit on me have been in their 20's. Nothing against younger men, but I am 41. I find that the age range is too big to cross. There are experiences as a child and teen that i lived through, that a 25 year old won't understand. They have a totally different refernece point than I do.
and I'm thinking there are all sorts of new experiences you could be having

Sorry for teasing, but seeing those two posts back to back, I couldn't resist. Also to add: good to know that some younger guys have such good taste!
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:28 PM   #20
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[QUOTE=Tad;2061383]Lucca;

and I'm thinking there are all sorts of new experiences you could be having

Ahhh.. yes I know.. I guess it is a mental thing. There are some young guys that seem to be old souls and have my same point of reference, but I don't know..

Maybe I need to be more daring and experience something new.

Awww.. thank you for the compliment.
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Old 04-02-2014, 07:50 PM   #21
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I confess I'm getting close to leaving my 40s. 10 weeks to go.
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Old 04-04-2014, 09:52 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
I confess I'm getting close to leaving my 40s. 10 weeks to go.
*holds on to Dromond's leg* DON'T GO!

You'll have to squeeze in a whole bunch of wacky things to pack out the rest of your time in the 40s.

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Old 04-04-2014, 11:36 AM   #23
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Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
*holds on to Dromond's leg* DON'T GO!

You'll have to squeeze in a whole bunch of wacky things to pack out the rest of your time in the 40s.
I don't wanna go! Sadly, Father Time doesn't give me any choice in the matter...
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:40 PM   #24
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dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!dharmabean has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I'm turning 38 in a month. I don't feel connected to those in their 30s and I'm not quite old enough to sit at the adult 40s table. I feel really disconnected...

anyone else go through this nearing the 40s?
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Old 04-04-2014, 07:15 PM   #25
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Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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I sure did. Come hang with us. After I turn 50 I won't be leaving this board, ya know.
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