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Old 01-06-2012, 11:15 PM   #1
Lalique
 
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Default I hate my body.. want to gain so badly..

I have written the same messages here over the past years, Im so conflicted, so miserable, so sad in my body. I so badly want to gain, but I don`t seem to have the courage..

Im posting this photo only for my own sake. I wish I can come back and see this when I finally made. I want to be a big girl and this year I need to see it happen.

Please forgive me if Im offending somebody with this pic..
Im not posting it for compliments because I hate what I look like...
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Old 01-07-2012, 02:13 AM   #2
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Start by eating. That's the most important part of gaining for someone your size. Eat, eat more, and learn to love eating more, and focus on that and let your body do what it will.

Everyone has to start somewhere.
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Old 01-07-2012, 11:17 AM   #3
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Default This time Im going to make it!

I have a feeling of determination that I never had before. This is my last chance to break free. I you search my post in here I have struggled for so long, going back and forward. Well, this time I have no choice because I feel that the alternative is an end to it all..


Im going to take things slowly. Some days I eat more, some days less, the most important thing is that I cant deny myself food. I always do that and is slowly killing me.

I know I gain quickly when I eat what I want.

So this is the last days of looking like this..
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:42 AM   #4
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Default Good Luck and Enjoy the Journey

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress. Since you said you have wanted to do this for a long time but never had the courage, you will find a lot of support here. Just take it slow. Eat 3 meals a day and pick the most calorie rich foods you would enjoy. Keep high calorie snacks at work and home and be sure to munch on them mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and at night have a nice bowl of ice cream or butter popcorn before you go to bed. You will be on your way to having the type of body you want and hopefully enjoy the journey as well.
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Old 01-08-2012, 11:41 PM   #5
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I really hope you find your own confidence and inner peace cause your own body image is nothing to feel so bad about. There are loads of other women who would dream to look as you do now so whatever you achieve please try to be happy in yourself.

As has already been said, just start eating and enjoy food. You will gain weight soon enough, don't do anything drastic because you still need to be healthy.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:36 AM   #6
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So as someone who is currently being treated for an ED, (eating disorder, not erectile dysfunction), what I notice first about your post is "I hate my body".

I think that the conversation should stop there, because the center of the issue is dissatisfaction and self-hatred, not being fat or being thin. If you want to joyfully, happily gain weight, then I absolutely think you should do that. But it should come from a place of acceptance. So that seems really counter-intuitive because how can you want to change your body if you already like it? Accept yourself now, how you are, as hard as that seems. THEN decide whether or not you want to gain, lose, stay the same, or learn to juggle knives. The thing is, nothing healthy can happen until you're healthy and happy in yourself.

Yeah, I sound like a second-hand self-help book. But it's true. The *only* thing that matters if loving yourself and your body.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:13 AM   #7
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Pretty much echoing what Waxwing said (minus the personal experience). I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference for being fat, but hating your body....that is never good. Good luck on finding a happier relationship with your body.
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Old 01-09-2012, 09:20 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waxwing View Post
So as someone who is currently being treated for an ED, (eating disorder, not erectile dysfunction), what I notice first about your post is "I hate my body".

I think that the conversation should stop there, because the center of the issue is dissatisfaction and self-hatred, not being fat or being thin. If you want to joyfully, happily gain weight, then I absolutely think you should do that. But it should come from a place of acceptance. So that seems really counter-intuitive because how can you want to change your body if you already like it? Accept yourself now, how you are, as hard as that seems. THEN decide whether or not you want to gain, lose, stay the same, or learn to juggle knives. The thing is, nothing healthy can happen until you're healthy and happy in yourself.

Yeah, I sound like a second-hand self-help book. But it's true. The *only* thing that matters if loving yourself and your body.
Beat me to it, and said far better. This is exactly, entirely right.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waxwing View Post
So as someone who is currently being treated for an ED, (eating disorder, not erectile dysfunction), what I notice first about your post is "I hate my body".

I think that the conversation should stop there, because the center of the issue is dissatisfaction and self-hatred, not being fat or being thin. If you want to joyfully, happily gain weight, then I absolutely think you should do that. But it should come from a place of acceptance. So that seems really counter-intuitive because how can you want to change your body if you already like it? Accept yourself now, how you are, as hard as that seems. THEN decide whether or not you want to gain, lose, stay the same, or learn to juggle knives. The thing is, nothing healthy can happen until you're healthy and happy in yourself.

Yeah, I sound like a second-hand self-help book. But it's true. The *only* thing that matters if loving yourself and your body.
I agree. I guess my poor english are making this hard for me to put words to, what I really try to say is that I know I love my body bigger, but I can`t seem to let go of the pressure of being slim.

The few times I have let myself be bigger I have had such a peace. I miss this so much. And I hate that I can`t be strong enough to be what I want to be; free.

maybe this isn`t so much about body size, it is about freedom..

Thanks everyone for replying, I`ll try to be more active in other posts ang get to know you wonderful people
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:36 AM   #10
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Yeah, it's important to know what you like and what you can eat a lot of over the course of the years.

For me, the greatest weight gain foods have been Macaroni and Cheese, and peanuts, blended, with a bit of fructose sprinkled over it and eaten like cereal. Others prefer to nosh at Mickey D's, others prefer ice cream.

Get some fat friends. Log into the foodee board, take cooking classes. Make food a celebration.

Good luck on your gaining.
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