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Old 02-28-2012, 08:55 AM   #1
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Hello all. Any serious advice would be helpful.
I have always been really turned on by skinny girls putting on some weight and gaining some real curves. I am currently dating a very skinny girl, who I plan on marrying. She is about 5'3", and when we started dating weighed 103lbs. Well, she started eating with me and got up to about 110lbs. She looked great. Her little belly was really filling out, and I was more attracted to her than ever. She hated it though. She constantly felt fat. Her jeans were tight, and her little belly would push out against her beaters that she would wear to sleep. I was always positive, telling her how great she looked. That I thought she looked better than ever, but she never believed me. She thought I was just being nice. Since then she has dieted and is back down to 103lbs. She is happy, and I am happy that she is happy, but I was so much more turned on when she was 110lbs. And I think she really enjoyed eating whatever she felt like.
Have any of you been in a simliar position?
What did you do?
What do guys think I should do?
I want her bigger, not a ton, but at least a little. I think it's sort of mean to tempt her with food until she gains, but at the same time we both seemed so much more sexual when she was bigger, and she does love to eat. She just does not want to believe me when I say I loved her body at 110lbs more than ever.
Thank for the advice!
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:47 AM   #2
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Serious advice: we can fantasize whatever we wiil but in reality we can (at times) change ourselves, but even that is a steep hill. As for others, they cannot be changed against their will. Even if with lips they may defer, as long as they live they will be of the same opinion still.

Not my oriiginal words, but wisdom I've found to be solid over many decades.
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Old 02-28-2012, 05:41 PM   #3
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Ahh, grasshopper - it seems your answer was always right in front of you.


Quote:
She hated it though.

Leave her be and let nature take its course - if she never gains, you'll be with a happy woman on her own terms. If she gains and finds peace with it, you'll be with a happy woman on her own terms.

Enjoy being with a happy woman, and BE that guy who loves a woman for being happy as she is - skinny or skinnier.
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Old 02-28-2012, 05:48 PM   #4
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Hello all. Any serious advice would be helpful.
I have always been really turned on by skinny girls putting on some weight and gaining some real curves. I am currently dating a very skinny girl, who I plan on marrying. She is about 5'3", and when we started dating weighed 103lbs. Well, she started eating with me and got up to about 110lbs. She looked great. Her little belly was really filling out, and I was more attracted to her than ever. She hated it though. She constantly felt fat. Her jeans were tight, and her little belly would push out against her beaters that she would wear to sleep. I was always positive, telling her how great she looked. That I thought she looked better than ever, but she never believed me. She thought I was just being nice. Since then she has dieted and is back down to 103lbs. She is happy, and I am happy that she is happy, but I was so much more turned on when she was 110lbs. And I think she really enjoyed eating whatever she felt like.
Have any of you been in a simliar position?
What did you do?
What do guys think I should do?
I want her bigger, not a ton, but at least a little. I think it's sort of mean to tempt her with food until she gains, but at the same time we both seemed so much more sexual when she was bigger, and she does love to eat. She just does not want to believe me when I say I loved her body at 110lbs more than ever.
Thank for the advice!
Jumbo
Let her be. If she's happy at 103 pounds let her be 103 pounds. You don't want a miserable g/f, believe me.

Also keep in mind, there's always pregnancy after marriage.
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Old 02-29-2012, 05:45 AM   #5
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Thanks everybody
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Old 03-02-2012, 11:36 AM   #6
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Jumbo Man

You can't make your girlfriend gain weight unless she wants to mutually
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Old 03-02-2012, 04:36 PM   #7
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Well first you have to tell her about your preference. If she thought that you were "just being nice" then you didn't really make your point.

After that, you really just don't know. She might decide that she is happy to gain weight as long as she's doing it for you. Or she might think you are weird. Or somewhere in between. You've got to be open about it though.
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Old 03-02-2012, 04:43 PM   #8
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And to answer your question about whether I have been in a similar position, the answer is yes. I told my fiance that I liked her the way she was, but that I would like to see her gain weight. She then gained about 10lbs in 3 months. Now she is trying to lose some weight again to train for marathons, but she says that she very much enjoyed the process and will probably do it again in the future. She also said that once she gets pregnant she will have an "excuse".

I think that she enjoyed gaining the weight because she still felt like she was in control. She didn't gain weight due to some physical or emotional problem or because I was plying her with food against her wishes.

Additionally, if you feel like it improves your sex life, perhaps you should emphasize the parts that are real turn-ons for you (tight clothes, large meals, etc). If you are going to marry this girl you better make sure you are sexually compatable.
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Old 03-02-2012, 06:41 PM   #9
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If it's that important, date a feedee.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:12 PM   #10
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Whatever happens next, may I throw in a suggestion for some body acceptance / size acceptance in the mix for both of you? Both of you are living & dying & obsessing (good n bad) over seven pounds. It might be helpful to have a little more peace about it all, whatever happens, whatever you/she makes happen, whatever you/she can't make happen... Life's kooky that way. We don't have as much control over this stuff as we think sometimes. Just tossin it out there.

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Old 03-02-2012, 07:27 PM   #11
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Whatever happens next, may I throw in a suggestion for some body acceptance / size acceptance in the mix for both of you? Both of you are living & dying & obsessing (good n bad) over seven pounds. Speaking metaphorically. It might be helpful to have a little more peace about it all, whatever happens, whatever you/she makes happen, whatever you/she can't make happen... Life's kooky that way. Just tossin it out there.
Honestly, all I've been thinking about since the OP is---this is about seven pounds. Whether for or against....seven pounds.
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:21 AM   #12
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Honestly, all I've been thinking about since the OP is---this is about seven pounds. Whether for or against....seven pounds.
To be fair, 7 pounds on someone that small is a big difference. Still, the guy needs to think with this head and not his dick. The girl's happy at her current size so don't fix what isn't broken.
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Old 03-03-2012, 10:43 AM   #13
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She should get over it, but it's her decision if she wants to stay "attractive" or get nice and curvy for some fun
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Old 03-03-2012, 10:58 AM   #14
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She should get over it, but it's her decision if she wants to stay "attractive" or get nice and curvy for some fun
Fuck what she wants, tell her to get fat even if it's against her desires because everyone knows that skinny women aren't actually attractive.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:24 PM   #15
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It's her body and she gets to make the decisions about it. That's how it works in the real world. To think otherwise is to live in a fantasy land.

And orange is right. If it's super important to you, date a feedee.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:59 PM   #16
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Honestly, all I've been thinking about since the OP is---this is about seven pounds. Whether for or against....seven pounds.
Yea, same thought was running through my head as well. If she is happy at her weight, then let it be. Whether its 7 pounds less or whatnot
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:32 AM   #17
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Well, I took the advice many of you have given. I just let it be. And guess what, she seems to be gaining the weight back! It is driving me completely wild and nuts at the same time.
One night she'll pig out and eat like crazy, and love it when I rub her belly, and the next she will get pissed if my hands come even close to her stomach, and hardly eat a thing. She is not at her biggest, but she's got to be getting close, and fast too!
I have been consistent in telling her I love the way she looks, that she turns me on as much as ever. She got a little upset when I told her she turns me on more than ever, because it was like I had finally admitted she had put on few.

And yes, I realize 7 pounds is not much, but when it is on such a petite girl it makes a huge difference! Not just in the look of her body, but the way her clothes fit and how soft she is.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do? How did it turn out?
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Old 03-23-2012, 09:02 AM   #18
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I'm coming from a similar situation, but on the other side. I'm not as small as your girlfriend, I'm 5'2 and 133lbs, but I'm certainly not a big person. Recently I was at 137, the highest my weight has ever been. My boyfriend enjoys when I have a little bit of extra softness and loves to play with my tummy or watch me occasionally overindulge myself. However, he constantly reassures me that he would love me at any size, that I'm just beautiful in general and losing or gaining weight wouldn't change that. I have days where I'm ok with him playing with my tummy, where I don't mind him commenting on my softness. Others it's like what you mentioned with your girlfriend, I move his hands or suck in if they stray too close to my stomach, I don't want to be seen without a shirt on, etc. There's a few reasons for this and it may be similar for your girlfriend. 1. Despite a few months of my boyfriend assuring me that any extra weight looks fabulous on me, there's still years of social programming telling me it's not ok, that I need to be thin to be pretty. A constant barrage of media and peers reenforcing the idea that fat is bad is pretty darn hard to overcome and so some days those feelings are going to win out. 2. I've had body issues for a good chunk of my life. The earliest memory I have of having an opinion on my body is being 10 years old and hating my thighs, wishing I could just carve pieces of them off, that I could get liposuction. I was only 10 and I was a pretty tiny kid, not overweight in the slightest, but because I'm not built like a rail I started hating my body. So that's years of my own insecurities I have to overcome. 3. At her size it's quite possible that she, like me, has been called tiny her whole life. When it's something that people have always commented on it becomes part of your identity. It's who you are, and having your size change is terrifying because if you're not tiny, then that's a piece of your identity that's no longer there. it makes you question who you are.

I hope maybe this helps.
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:12 AM   #19
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Lille
you hit it perfectly.
the thing that sucks is she doesn't seem to mind a few new curves, and she loves to eat. but she seems so programmed, like a lot of people, that thin is attractive. a lot of the times she doesn't believe me when i tell her how good she looks, mainly because society thinks thinner is better.
i want her happy more than anything, but if i can get her to put on a few and stay happy it would be even better.
thanks
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:56 AM   #20
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Jumbo Man, I have had this experience many times. I think that it is a shock to be one way your whole life, and then look different. If that were to happen to me, I think I would want constant reassurance that my partner liked it. It would help me "justify" it to myself. Then again, I don't think that fat is ugly or gross. Some people just think that way, and you're not going to change it.

So my future wife is currently the biggest that she's ever been. She is 116-118 at the moment. She was 89 in HS and had difficulty keeping weight on. She was about 105 a year ago and has slowly gained since then. I was lucky, because she decided that she wanted to get fat for me. The women in her family tend to get very big as they get older anyway. But even she isn't happy about it everyday. At the moment she is trying to lose some weight temporarily to help her marathoning and she is finding it difficult. She runs about 8 miles a day and eats an excellent diet (she's a nutritionist) and is frustrated that she isn't losing weight. Also, she doesn't view the extra weight as a problem unless she's thinking about athletic peformance.
Also, when she went Wedding Dress shopping with her mother and sisters she asked them if they could tell she gained 10lbs and they all said no. She thinks her gain is very obvious and so she figures that her family was lying to make her feel better. It's frustrating to her that she doesn't know what she looks like to other people. I think that in general women are far more concerned about how they are perceived than men are. Again, she doesn't mind gaining weight for me, but she doesn't want people to think poorly of her. The point is that it is entirely normal for someone to have conflicted feelings over something like this.
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:56 AM   #21
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It's hard when it's the message the media and your peers have been giving you your whole life. All you can do is reassure her that she's beautiful no matter what. And we're always our own harshest critic. I'm slowly learning to love my body and I have fewer and fewer days where I hate on myself, but it's been a struggle and I still have bad days. Just keep supporting her and hopefully she can begin to love herself at any size.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:19 PM   #22
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Lille, I totally agree that we are our own harshest critic. Jumbo, just make sure she knows she is appreciated. I think this advice really applies to anyone in any relationship though. You're not going to convince her overnight that she's hot.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:28 PM   #23
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You need to think about how important this is to you. If it bothers you to think that she will never have the little belly again to the point where it burdens your mind, you need to re-evaluate your feelings towards her. You deserve to have a partner that you are attracted to and she deserves to stay 103 lbs if she wants.

If it's not that important to you, then it's one of those things you are just going to have to put behind you.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:57 PM   #24
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You need to think about how important this is to you. If it bothers you to think that she will never have the little belly again to the point where it burdens your mind, you need to re-evaluate your feelings towards her. You deserve to have a partner that you are attracted to and she deserves to stay 103 lbs if she wants.

If it's not that important to you, then it's one of those things you are just going to have to put behind you.
If she is gaining weight again, it's not that simple. I guess you do have to evaluate whether the relationship will be good for both of you.

If you feel uncomfortable expressing affection around her, then it's going to be hard on you. If she feels that you are a "bad influence" then it's going to be hard on her. But you just can't know how you are going to feel until you get there. Either it will work or it won't.
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Old 03-28-2012, 02:09 AM   #25
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Tuff call, but if she wants to look like a twig then, well, that's all there is to say XD
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