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Old 08-13-2015, 05:57 AM   #251
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Originally Posted by lucca23v2 View Post
oooo I didn't think of that.. all 145 issues of The Walking dead... that is a way to go...
I think you just need to make sure to lay things out to make sure to lead the reader in the direction you want them to go ...
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:48 AM   #252
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It would be a good way to keep those nerdy types I like in bed... have to think ahead.. give them something to read..lol
It would also serve as a device for quality control: any man in bed with you who can think about reading probably needs to be mainlining testosterone.

OTOH, if you're truly into nerds, you might consider a tattoo of Immanuel Kant's Critique of Pure Reason... in the original German, of course.
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:01 AM   #253
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It would also serve as a device for quality control: any man in bed with you who can think about reading probably needs to be mainlining testosterone.

OTOH, if you're truly into nerds, you might consider a tattoo of Immanuel Kant's Critique of Pure Reason... in the original German, of course.
But then you'd risk actually attracting Kantians. There's no room for the categorical imperative in the bedroom. I'd take my chances with a tattoo of Bentham's principle of utility, though

Speaking of philosophy and things another human being might find funny:

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/77
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Old 08-13-2015, 04:07 PM   #254
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:

Speaking of philosophy and things another human being might find funny:

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/77
Ok, this one I have to share with my politics and history hubby who is also a long time tabletop RPG player...

BTW: He giggled like crazy

Last edited by Xyantha Reborn; 08-14-2015 at 06:25 PM. Reason: it got a laugh
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Old 08-13-2015, 06:38 PM   #255
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Old 08-14-2015, 05:53 PM   #256
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Something written by Steve Martin:

Schrodinger's Cat
A cat is placed in a box, together with a radioactive atom. If the atom decays, a hammer kills the cat; if the atom doesn't decay, the cat lives. As the atom is considered to be in either state before the observer opens the box, the cat must thus be considered to be simultaneously dead and alive. -ERWIN SCHODINGER'S CAT PARADOX, 1935

Wittgenstein's Banana
A banana is flying first class from New York to L.A. Two scientists, one in each city, are talking on the phone about the banana. Because it is moving in relationship to its noun, the referent of the word banana never occupies one space, and anything that does not occupy one space does not exist. Therefore, a banana will arrive at JFK with no limousine into the city, even though the reservation was confirmed in L.A.

Elvis's Charcoal Briquette
A barbecue is cooking wieners in an airtight space. As the charcoal consumes the oxygen, the integrity of the briquette is weakened. An observer riding a roller coaster will become hungry for wieners but will be thrown from the car when he stands up and cries, "Elvis, get me a hot dog."

Chef Boyardee's Bungee Cord
A bungee cord is hooked at one end to a neutrino, while the other end is hooked to a vibraphone. The neutrino is then accelerated to the speed of light, while the vibraphone is dropped off the Oakland Bay Bridge. The cord will stretch to infinite thinness, the neutrino will decay, and the vibraphone will be smashed by the recoiling bungee. Yet an observer standing on the shore will believe he hears Tchaikovsky's second piano concerto performed by Chef Boyardee's uncle Nemo.

Sacajawea's Rain Bonnet
Lewis and Clark are admiring Sacajawea's rain bonnet. Lewis, after six months in the wilderness, wants to wear the rain bonnet, even when it's not raining. Clark wants Sacajawea to keep wearing it and doesn't want to have to deal with Lewis, who conceivably could put on the bonnet and start prancing. However, an observer looking back from the twenty-first century will find this completely normal.

Apollo's Non-Apple Non-Strudel
Imagine Apollo running backward around the rings of Saturn while holding a hot dish of apple strudel. In another universe, connected only by a wormhole, is a dollop of vanilla ice cream. The vanilla ice cream will move inexorably toward the wormhole and be dumped onto the strudel. Yet wife swapping is still frowned upon in many countries.

Jim Dandy's Bucket of Goo
Jim Dandy is placed in a three-dimensional maze. His pants are tied at the ankles and filled with sand. Every time he moves to another dimension of the maze, he must review the movie Titanic, first with one star, then with two stars, then with three, while never mentioning its box office take. If he completes the maze, he will then be able to untie his pant-legs, and the spilling sand will form a bowling trophy that Jim Dandy may take home.

The Feynman Dilemma
A diner says to a waiter, "What's this fly doing in my soup?" And the waiter says, "it looks like the backstroke." Yet if the same scene is viewed while plunging into a black hole at the speed of light, it will look like a Mickey Mouse lunch pail from the thirties, except that Mickey's head has been replaced by a Lincoln penny.

George Hamilton's Sun Lamp
George Hamilton is dropped into an empty rental space next to a tanning salon on the dark side of the moon. There is no way into the salon except through an exterior door, but if George exits, it could mean dangerous exposure to deadly gamma rays. George could open his own tanning salon by tapping the phone lines from next door and taking their customers. And yet George is cooked when he exits the rental space while using a silver-foil face reflector.
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Old 08-14-2015, 07:03 PM   #257
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Happy 70th B'day to a literary giant...here's a giant picture...
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Old 08-15-2015, 05:21 AM   #258
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I made her her own comfy warm bed.. but does she sleep in it no.. she decides she is going to sleep in my bed.. no big deal I have a queen sized bed.. but instead of having her own space, she decides she is going to nestle up behind me.. (I sleep on my side) and stretched out so that she has all the space and I have the edge of the bed.. WTF??? SMH.. and she is not even my dog! She belongs to my niece. The life of a dog.. I wish I had it (except for the sniffing of other dog butts)

I couldn't do anything but laugh and move her..
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Old 08-16-2015, 10:03 AM   #259
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these women... lol
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Old 08-16-2015, 03:35 PM   #260
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Default I love Patrick Stewart..

As if anyone needed more reasons to love Patrick Stewart...

http://www.starz.com/originals/blunt...362777c9b202f2
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Old 08-17-2015, 07:36 PM   #261
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My new manager ends all of our talks and her emails to me with "That would be great" I have officially nicknamed her Lumbergh...
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Old 08-17-2015, 08:46 PM   #262
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Look at him! I laughed a lot!
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:08 AM   #263
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Look at him! I laughed a lot!
My face when somebody somebody shows me hot cookie-dough brownie!
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Old 08-18-2015, 01:42 PM   #264
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My Signet is a pigglet. He ate half a bagel...little brat...

He eats Everything!!!!

Ugh...but also lol
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Old 08-18-2015, 06:11 PM   #265
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I have had so much to drink at this rum/tiki night i cant figure out how to lovk the stall door!

Ive never been this tispy (cuz stomach stuff) and i have to say it, and everything else, is HILARIOUS.
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Old 08-18-2015, 06:16 PM   #266
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Ohhh have fun!! I tried to rep you but could not. Locking the stall door is excessive anyhow.
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Old 08-18-2015, 11:06 PM   #267
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Xyantha = adorable drunk! Make sure to drink plenty of water and get some protein when you wake up!
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Old 08-19-2015, 04:57 AM   #268
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I'm thinking today's posts from Xyantha could be interesting too!

(But I hope the drinks don't stir up your digestive issues too much.)
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Old 08-19-2015, 05:05 AM   #269
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I have had so much to drink at this rum/tiki night i cant figure out how to lovk the stall door!

Ive never been this tispy (cuz stomach stuff) and i have to say it, and everything else, is HILARIOUS.
I'm realizing this is not your first stall door related post. I think there is more to explore here. Deep... seated issues?

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Old 08-19-2015, 05:58 AM   #270
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Screw you!! Bathrooms are HARD lol!!!

Digestive issues are not what woke me up ironically - instead it was my jerk-face 4 month old kitten. I'm actually surprised I am not in more pain, but a lot of what sets me off is fillers/soy/preservatives, and all their ingredients were fresh and yummy. I don't know that we will retain our membership though...it just isn't worth it for how many tastings they have, and they are all pretty much the same format. I mean, it was awesome the first few times, but now I would rather save that money and just buy booze to drink at home.


Edit: I tried to find a funny bathroom scene on youtube to visually show how you have to balance on one leg, use the other leg to keep the door closed, while holding your purse in one hand and gathering toilet paper with the other. It is an athletic feat, I tell you!!!

But instead all I got was kinky and gross bathroom scenes. I was not aware bathrooms were such a...thing.
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Old 08-19-2015, 06:54 AM   #271
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...I tried to find a funny bathroom scene on youtube to visually show how you have to balance on one leg, use the other leg to keep the door closed, while holding your purse in one hand and gathering toilet paper with the other. It is an athletic feat, I tell you!!!
I've um...heard that if you put the purse around your neck, it leaves an arm free to hold the door closed. Of course this only works if it's not a clutch.

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But instead all I got was kinky and gross bathroom scenes. I was not aware bathrooms were such a...thing.
Neither was I until I saw some of the thread titles that pop up with the most recent posts on the paysite boards. Or read some of the fantasies in the sexuality thread. All I can say is there's something for everyone.
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Old 08-19-2015, 03:42 PM   #272
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I've um...heard that if you put the purse around your neck, it leaves an arm free to hold the door closed. Of course this only works if it's not a clutch
I guess you can put the clutch in your mouth.. if there is that much alcohol in your body, I am sure no germs will live long enough in your mouth from holding the clutch there as you pee.

Hypothetically of course.... it is not like I have ever done it myself...
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Old 08-19-2015, 03:53 PM   #273
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If you have a female friend around, she'll likely stand and hold the door for you. It's the first instance where going to the bathroom in groups has made sense to me. Last time I went out drinking with a friend, the bar bathroom was extremely busy so she just suggested we go in the same stall. I was pretty drunk so I didn't care...but I never realized how different a world bar bathrooms are
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Old 08-19-2015, 04:27 PM   #274
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dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!dwesterny keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by Xyantha Reborn View Post
what sets me off is fillers/soy/preservatives, and all their ingredients were fresh and yummy. I don't know that we will retain our membership though...it just isn't worth it for how many tastings they have, and they are all pretty much the same format. I mean, it was awesome the first few times, but now I would rather save that money and just buy booze to drink at home.
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There are a lot of good mixed drinks you can make so easily with fresh ingredients. I have no clue why people use those crappy syrupy mixes. My favorite was the store selling "Dirty Martini Mix" which I assume is just olive brine with no olives in it. I like Hemingway Daiquiris (no sugar/syrup same as he drank them) or mint juleps are actually quite tasty. For something stronger I go with dry gin martini but those get me in trouble.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xyantha Reborn View Post
instead all I got was kinky and gross bathroom scenes. I was not aware bathrooms were such a...thing.
Please see internet rules 34, 36 and 46.
Rule 34
Generally accepted internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject.

Rule 36
If it exists, someone has a fetish for it. No exceptions.

Lastly

Rule 46
There is always furry porn of it.


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Old 08-19-2015, 05:43 PM   #275
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
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I was maintaining one of my credentials by doing those stupid online courses. This is a legit, word for word transcription of the question.

You are about to start an interview. How should you put the candidate at ease?

a) "Good morning Rebecca. I'm the owner of the hotel. Please have a seat. I don't want to waste your time so let's get started. I expect you to answer all my questions promptly and honestly."

b) "Lovely to meet you Rebecca. I own this hotel. Can I take your bag for you? And would you like some water - it can get a little dry in this room."

c) "Hi Rebecca, nice to meet you. You're wearing a crucifix. I'm very glad to see that - I'm a Christian myself."

Omg. WTF? lmfao...
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