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Old 05-13-2012, 06:36 AM   #1
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Default Shallow battle: Short Men vs. BBWs

Shallow battle: Short Men & BBWs

Is it more shallow for many men to discriminate against BBWs, or more shallow for many women to discriminate against men who are shorter than a specific height, in regards to dating and mating?

Specifically I would love to hear if any Big and Very Beautiful Women would date, and be seen in public with a man who is shorter than she is?

Thank you for responding :-)
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Last edited by pjbbwlvr; 05-13-2012 at 06:44 AM. Reason: Clarification of thread.
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Old 05-13-2012, 06:39 AM   #2
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Personally, I think the height thing is more shallow.

But... I see a lot of short men in relationships with all types of women. It's the BBWs who get shunned where I am.
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Old 05-13-2012, 09:34 AM   #3
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I think they're two sides of the same coin: the nineteenth-century fantasy of the strong, dominant, aggressive male/fragile, helpless female. I don't think it's a conscious decision, in many cases: nobody sits us down in infancy and tells us this is how it ought to be. Instead, we pick it up subconsciously from the way others react to, and around, us. That's what makes it insidious -- it's so ingrained that we don't think about it and never realize how ridiculous it is.
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Old 05-13-2012, 10:55 AM   #4
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It's not shallow to simply not be attracted to somebody for any reason. The 2 men in my life I've been most attracted to were both 5'8 or 5'9. And this board is full of men attracted to women of 300 and 400 pounds and beyond.

Nobody should be called shallow for having a sexual or aesthetic preference, which isn't even within your control.
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Old 05-13-2012, 01:40 PM   #5
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I don't know how you could really qualify one as more shallow than the other. Maybe if you happen to fall into one of those categories and you feel that people aren't attracted to you because either you're a short man or a BBW then you might find that more shallow but it's all subjective. I don't think there can be a definitive answer. As a shorter (5'9) man I can say that I am often attracted to taller women some BBW and some not. In some cases they've been attracted to me as well and in some cases they haven't. I'm sure my height has been a factor in some of the instances where they haven't but it could just as easily be my personality, physical appearance or anything else. At the end of the day if someone is going to qualify a physical trait such as height or weight as a dealbreaker then that's their right to do so. In my opinion it's better to be honest with a person about your preference than to lead them on and use them when you aren't really attracted to them. If I strike out with a few tall women because I'm short rather than investing myself in something fake then I consider myself lucky. I would imagine the ladies here feel the same about men who aren't attracted to BBWs. I don't think it's shallow if I don't float someone else's boat so to speak. We're all different and so are our tastes in a mate. That's one of the nice things about the world.

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Old 05-13-2012, 01:45 PM   #6
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I am 5'11"... to answer your questions... yes and yes... shorter men rock! Trust me!!
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Old 05-13-2012, 02:58 PM   #7
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I'm 5'8 and one of the hottest guys I was ever with was 5'2 so height doesn't matter to me.

I'm not entirely sure it's all about preference because I have no preference either way for short, average or tall. Except for the one guy noted above, I've been with men at or slightly above or below my height. It'd be nice to try a tall guy though.
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:22 PM   #8
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I think everyone has a preference on height, weight, hair color or lack of hair, body art, etc. I don't think that makes you shallow to be aware of what you're attracted to.
I'm 5'4" so there aren't many men shorter than me but for a while I was seeing a BHM that was my height and there were other characteristics that made him attractive to me. However, if he had a bad attitude about his height then I wouldn't have dated him because that isn't attractive on anyone.
Height isn't something that attracts me one way or the other. Besides, aren't we all basically the same height once we're lying down?
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Old 05-13-2012, 04:52 PM   #9
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Default Sweet!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedheadinNJ View Post
I think everyone has a preference on height, weight, hair color or lack of hair, body art, etc. I don't think that makes you shallow to be aware of what you're attracted to.
I'm 5'4" so there aren't many men shorter than me but for a while I was seeing a BHM that was my height and there were other characteristics that made him attractive to me. However, if he had a bad attitude about his height then I wouldn't have dated him because that isn't attractive on anyone.
Height isn't something that attracts me one way or the other. Besides, aren't we all basically the same height once we're lying down?

Sweet! Height difference can certainly be adjusted for, when lying down!
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Old 05-13-2012, 10:52 PM   #10
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Lets face it living in the world is tough today everyone is so judgmental and about just about everything you're too tall, short, fat, thin, old young etc...it hs hard to be anything outside of societal "normal" these days... its tough being a bbw but i can imagine it must be tough being a shorter male cause they're supposed to be "big and tough"... well I'm only 5'3 but i would take a man a foot shorter then me who was awesome then a 6'2 jerk who you'd like to punch once again just my own 2 cents worth
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:08 AM   #11
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Default Just to add...

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjbbwlvr View Post
"Is it more shallow for many men to discriminate against BBWs, or more shallow for many women to discriminate against men who are shorter than a specific height, in regards to dating and mating?...if any Big and Very Beautiful Women would date, and be seen in public with a man who is shorter than she is?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
"It's not shallow to simply not be attracted to somebody for any reason...Nobody should be called shallow for having a sexual or aesthetic preference, which isn't even within your control."
Yeah, I would agree. A mere preference, even if it's hard preference or "deal-breaker," does not qualify one as shallow. It just means you're certain about what you want, when it comes to certain things...in certain a context.

No, shallow is when you discount the person on the whole, like as though you don't even see them. Or you totally discount their other positive traits in light of some attribute or another or the lack thereof. Where you don't even want to try to get to know a person or learn more about who they are because how they fail to match up with this pre-determined criteria. Obviously, in certain contexts (e.g, if you were screening job applicants), it's perfectly appropriate to "be shallow" in order to narrow your selection down and so as to not waste too much time at the expense of the most qualified candidates. But, wherever, it necessarily comes at some cost...
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:32 AM   #12
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I remember one particularly lovely hug in which a Lady, taller than myself, did lie her head on my shoulder as we shared a tender hug.
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:15 PM   #13
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Default The thing is...

As you try to examine and reflect-upon your criteria, you will tend to become more conscious and conscientious with respect to it. It, in turn, will become something more explicit, both for you and as you try to explain it to others, an expression or extension of yourself as opposed to something that's otherwise outside of you. Instead of saying "Why can't I be attracted to this type of person instead of that one?" you will find yourself seeing in your preferences more directly what those qualities represent for you. They will tend to manifest, more, a guide toward what it is you really want & how to get it (if I want to attract quality x, I have to, first, demonstrate y) as opposed to being an obstacle
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:48 PM   #14
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I just wanted to add... I don't even think height is noticeable when a person carries themselves with confidence and some people just have such a *spark* in them and/or amazing chemistry that you think you would always choose whatever body-type they are as "ideal".

This has been my experience.
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:28 PM   #15
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Quote:
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I just wanted to add... I don't even think height is noticeable when a person carries themselves with confidence and some people just have such a *spark* in them and/or amazing chemistry that you think you would always choose whatever body-type they are as "ideal".

This has been my experience.
I would agree with this.
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:31 PM   #16
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Neither is shallow. People are entitled to dating preferences. I do have a preference for taller men. My current lover is over 6" and I'm 5'4". But I also have a MUCH STRONGER preference for nice teeth. He definitely doesn't have nice teeth. I think he has about 4 teeth left. But, I've been in love with him since I was 19 and this is our time to be together, finally, for however long it may last. So I don't care about the teeth at all and don't even think about it.

Would I date a guy who was shorter than me? Sure, if I were on the market and he wasn't hung up on it. And I wouldn't date anyone I wouldn't be seen in public with.
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Old 05-14-2012, 05:09 PM   #17
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I think when someone discounts every positive thing about someone just because they're short or fat is shallow.

Like a lot of the women here... There's plenty of well dressed, greatly employed, hard working, family-oriented men in the city who happen to be 5'5" or less. And those are traits the women scream and beg for. These men show interest and the women go "you'd be perfect and I'd date you if only you were taller."

I'm sorry, but that IS shallow.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:04 AM   #18
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I have a tendency to date short men. It's not that I have anything against tall men but I always seem to date a short guy. I'm around 5"5" and most of my boyfriends have been somewhere in the vicinity of 5'8", with the exception of the last bf who was 6'4". He was an anomaly though.

I would date someone my height but maybe not shorter than me...but, it's hard to be shorter than me lol
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Old 11-22-2012, 09:17 AM   #19
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1- I think trying to say which is more shallow is just silly, with more odds of hurting someone that coming up with anything constructive.

2- All the same, thanks to all the women who supported the potential appeal of not-so-tall guys. At 5'8" I'm not especially short, but short enough to have had more than one experience of a woman scanning the room, looking right past me, before locking in on a taller friend. The way I always described it was "Height in a guy is like bustiness in a woman--few people make it a requirement but lots of people have it as a preference, and the people who say it doesn't matter at all are usually the ones who have it."

3- In all honesty I've found the height thing less an issue in dating (compared to, say, being a chubby nerd with glasses) than professionally. There is still commonly a height incline as you look up the managerial ranks. People do associate height with power, at least in men (there are studies to support that....haven't seen any to say how this interacts with women). Then again, I think a lot of BBW have noticed a similar issue.
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Old 11-22-2012, 10:59 AM   #20
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The fact that I am literally repulsed by skinny and muscly men is not shallowness it is my sexuality, it's just the way I am.
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:22 PM   #21
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I do admit that I am mainly attracted to tall men. At times I do feel shallow dealing with friends who give me the 'beggars can't be choosers' speech, but I think everyone has a preference when it comes to attraction.

Oh to answer the question I did have a date with someone shorter (online he said he was 5'9 but ended up being 5'5). It ended badly, not because he was short or lied, but because he kept trying to stick his hand up my dress T_T
I was not embarrassed at all by his height....just the fondling
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Old 11-22-2012, 09:17 PM   #22
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I like tall men as a rule, but it's never stopped me from dating shorter men.
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Old 11-22-2012, 10:36 PM   #23
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Shallow battle: Short Men vs. BBWs
I want to see this battle! Kiddy pool? Pudding? Jell-O?
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Old 11-23-2012, 07:45 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjbbwlvr View Post
Short Men vs BBWs
Quote:
Originally Posted by liz (di-va) View Post
I want to see this battle! Kiddy pool? Pudding? Jell-O?
It's not quite Marvel vs. Capcom, but it'll do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandasaur View Post
Oh to answer the question I did have a date with someone shorter (online he said he was 5'9 but ended up being 5'5). It ended badly, not because he was short or lied, but because he kept trying to stick his hand up my dress T_T
I was not embarrassed at all by his height....just the fondling
Yep, I'm only 5' 9", and this one girl I met on a bbw dating site around ten years ago said she was only 5' 10" (at least that's what it said on her profile) but she was closer to 6' tall instead, maybe even 6' 1" ... we dated a few times but I had a hard time looking up to her all the time and we eventually parted ways. It's the stupid ass "tradition" of the guy having to be taller than the girl I guess, I suppose I just couldn't get past it.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:44 PM   #25
joswitch
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There's nothing wrong with dating who you prefer / are attracted to.
There's nothing wrong with extolling the positive side of that either.

There is something wrong with being an asshole about it.
E.g.s putting down those who are not your "type", assuming your preference is the only legit preference...

Equally, if you happen to have a "majority attractive characteristic" that's fine but there's no need to be an asshole about it, to those who don't happen to have that. E.g. I am aware that I probably get more indications of interest when I'm out and about than an otherwise identical short bloke might, but I also know that's the genetic / nutritional lottery and not some indication of my being "superior" or some bullshit. So I don't get up myself about it.

I would just like to take this moment to say how very pleased I am for a couple that I know: a good friend of mine who is a thoroughly smashing bloke and v. short chap (just over 5') who has found love with another friend who is a lovely lady (and happens to be 6' tall)! Good for them! yay!

Edited to add:
I would have no problem dating a BBW who happened to be taller than me! That would be aces (although we'd need a huuuge bed).
When I lived in my tiny caravan, in which I had to sleep diagonally, short, more-or-less triangular girlfriends fitted best.
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Last edited by joswitch; 11-23-2012 at 01:46 PM.
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