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Old 10-20-2014, 09:33 PM   #101
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We're sexual creatures -- saying someone is sexually desirable is a very high compliment indeed.
people do crackheads and pitbull puppies on their front porch too because they find them sexually desirable. they must feel highly complimented.
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:38 PM   #102
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I recently joined a "I'd do Daryl" club in the Walking Dead thread.






I dunno....I just really don't have a problem with the terms....that's all they are. Nothing deeper....and the only "hurt" I can perceive coming from them is in the HOW they are used. If a man is prone to "reducing" women to sexual objects then it doesn't matter WHAT is said. Hells bells, personally I don't want to police the men folk..why? I like to know what they are thinking and the way they choose their wording is a big clue for me, at times.

Sometimes I see pics of men and say those "sexual" comments....usually as a joke. Funny how men usually don't get twisted when we speak of them that way.

To go even further, when they are talking about women with those comments....they aren't even really talking about us. They are talking about their dicks...which is a fave subject for some I have met.
Could that be the underlying issue? They don't even really see "us" but rather what is happening to their body parts in reaction to our body parts?

It's "first base" in man world to me. Men are very sexual beings....and that's not me saying "boys will be boys" because anyone that knows me realizes I would slap down a boy if necessary. Some are more visual than us, don't listen as well and simply don't communicate as well.
If he wants to talk about his dick, then cool beans....just makes it a lot more easier for me to see where he's at....and choose what I do with that knowledge.
it probably comes from the fact that i've seen too much, probably more than i should, and i'm just not very impressed by who or what men would "do" anymore.
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:39 PM   #103
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I think cougar is an exciting and positive term for a woman.
Not in the same league as being called MILF
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:43 PM   #104
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I'm thinking its more of a gender thing. When a guy describes a woman as a cougar its usually not a term of endearment. Yes, cougars are women that are aggressive in there advances toward men -- especially younger men. For reasons unknown some women have convinced themselves that its a good thing to act like a creepy old guy. Its not. Everyone's seen old guys hitting on inappropriately young women. Its not pretty. Most guys don't want to be that guy. When guys see a woman acting like that guy they aren't any more impressed (of course that doesn't mean they won't sleep with her -- because -- well we're guys).

Conversely when a young guy describes an older woman as a MILF his piers will understand that he has complimented the woman in question's physical appearance. A crude compliment perhaps -- but a compliment nonetheless.
the problem people have with the term cougar is that it is a mature and knowing woman who has choices, is desirable, in control and requires lot.

the stereotype of a MILF is someone with low self esteem, desperate, compliant and grateful for anything.
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:13 PM   #105
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people do crackheads and pitbull puppies on their front porch too because they find them sexually desirable. they must feel highly complimented.

What have you been smoking?
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:17 PM   #106
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...

the stereotype of a MILF is someone with low self esteem, desperate, compliant and grateful for anything.
And just why would you assume that a woman younger men would like to fuck is automatically some kind of looser?
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:05 PM   #107
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I think cougar is an exciting and positive term for a woman.
Not in the same league as being called MILF
Actually, if I were a woman I'd much rather be called a MILF -- who doesn't want to be thought of as sexually attractive.
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Old 10-21-2014, 01:17 AM   #108
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You guys are brushing past a lot of context. Or, maybe, just imposing your own personal perspectives onto something that's a bit more universal in its appeal.

It really depends as much on who's using the term, & as applied to whom.

For well over 20 years, before the popular movie American Pie, the title MILF has been used to describe an entire genre of porn depicting the fantasy of an a older woman (read marriage-age, with children) who would otherwise be unattainable. Either for obstacles of marriage, social class/caste, and/or propriety, where-upon the imposed restraints of such conventions have been (as if) miraculously superseded via the power of raw, unadulterated lust. -Or- whatever else you might somehow fold into that as a (very) basic plot device:

"Low self-esteem"? Yeah, sure, I guess so. Why not? But also to include things like revenge, jealously, ambition, romance, maternal-instinct, curiosity?

And, just as is the case with any of a myriad of other types of descriptions and terminology pertaining to the general topic of sexuality, I would strongly suspect its actual inception predates the more wide-spread and commercialized exploitation thereof. Even if that happens to be the most popular or widespread context in which many or even most people originally recall their very first exposure to it.

As for the construct itself, just the basic theme; honestly, I think you at least have to go well into time of Classical Antiquity (both it's literature as well as whatever other types of of artifacts) for a truly original rendition of that.

Cougar; again, same thing: For a few years now, there's been an actual show, starring Courtney Cox, called Cougartown. But, then, on that point, you might well say that the term itself has jumped-the-shark, so to speak.

That is, women in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, ect... who habitually prefer & pursue guys that are 10 or 15 years younger generally don't care what anyone else calls it. Likewise, the type of guys they date, nowadays, do not really have any practical need for any particular term.

However, on the other hand, some women who've just past whatever milestone (25, 30, etc..) & normally used dating exclusively with-in a certain range ARE sensitive to that type of thing. Probably more likely so if they're the type to lie about their age; although, in that type of case, they are obviously not too, too sensitive about it, right?

I mean, it's like some of you think the greasers first began with John Travolta and shows like Sha Na Na. Yeah, maybe you could make an argument like that; you know, from taken from a certain p.o.v. But, I think, maybe it's better that you don't?
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Old 10-21-2014, 03:41 AM   #109
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the problem people have with the term cougar is that it is a mature and knowing woman who has choices, is desirable, in control and requires lot.

the stereotype of a MILF is someone with low self esteem, desperate, compliant and grateful for anything.
I think you have them backwards, at best. I think "milf" is a crude and objectifying term, but I've never heard it used they way you are claiming. If anything cougars MAY be considered desperate, but that is not necessarily the case either. And I've never heard the stereotype you describe applied to the term "milf." It's actually closer to the term "sugar mama" than what you describe, the difference being physical attraction to an older woman vs attraction based off material gain.
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:29 AM   #110
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My wife is seven years younger than me -- I've joked (as have several good friends) that I'm a dirty old man. Its cool to own a term. However, that doesn't mean the term doesn't have negative connotations when used in other situations.
Cougar has you beat...my live in boyfriend is ten years younger than me
He likes it big when I feel dirty with him.

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I think you have them backwards, at best. I think "milf" is a crude and objectifying term, but I've never heard it used they way you are claiming. If anything cougars MAY be considered desperate, but that is not necessarily the case either. And I've never heard the stereotype you describe applied to the term "milf." It's actually closer to the term "sugar mama" than what you describe, the difference being physical attraction to an older woman vs attraction based off material gain.
My boy toy is actually footing most of the bills in my house right now since I'm not working/job-hunting.

My point to anyone that cares to read it?

I am a cougar...as in I tend to gravitate towards younger men....particularly after having one I see nothing wrong with it, the younger men that approach obviously see nothing wrong with it and a man of ANY age can use someone. Plenty of 50 yr old losers out there hoping to find a desperate woman. It's simply your own perception....I don't see the term cougar in a negative light.
Obviously BigMac does.
I don't see MILF in a negative way.....it's an attractive older woman...in a society where "getting older" and being a mom means you somehow "lose something" in the sexual world.

Would I like a man I didn't know to approach me and call me "MILF"? Nope but then I'm a porcupine with strangers and most anything sexual said to me in an opening line from a man is usually not taken well.

It all just depends on a person's personal levels of comfort and self perceptions of a term.
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Old 10-21-2014, 02:17 PM   #111
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MILF seems to be totally just describing that woman as a sex object. I can understand how some women might find it flattering.
The old school child rearing that I grew up with in the 50's and 60's taught me to be more respectful. Growing up with 7 sisters makes it harder to see women as sex objects.
I won't deny that I am kind of weird.
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Old 10-21-2014, 11:40 PM   #112
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What have you been smoking?
i think they call it reality.
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Old 10-22-2014, 12:06 AM   #113
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And just why would you assume that a woman younger men would like to fuck is automatically some kind of looser?
i don't. the term references that kind of woman and makes them into that. you need to look into the MILF stereotype a bit more and maybe actually talk to some young people every once in a while. they'll tell you themselves.

you chose to cut out my statement about cougars because you know it's t the very same dynamic of an older woman and a younger man but the attitude toward the woman involved is totally different as is the power
dynamic. there is no attempt to humiliate a woman's or her family. the cougar issue is all about basic enjoyment of sexuality but the MILF term is about the humiliation of a woman AND her family.

let me break it down to history, language and brass tacks for you. it's an insecure young man who needs to dominate or humiliate who would use that term. and sleeping with someone's mother ( being an MF) has always been perceived as a humiliation which is why it is a curse. and MF is the lowest person because he humiliates the sanctity of someone's home--motherhood, a man's wife. he has been since at least ancient greek times which is one of the places where the curse was used earlier if not earliest. young men today seek to identify themselves to that term to appear edgy and to push the social boundaries of acceptable behaviors for young men much as they did in ancient times. the term MILF didn't exist but the concept did which is why you have things like Oedipus being written. the most subversive thing young scared arrogant boys full of empty bluster feel they can do is talk about defiling someone else's mother and cuckolding their friend's fathers. it's as old as the hills and the meaning is just as old. MILF is just yet another term signifying a weak flawed male's attempt to gain power in the masculine world on the backs of women. it has nothing to do with pure desire of women. if it did why the need to mention her familial affiliations at all? because he is not just "F"ing her but the males in her family too.


MILF is just another backward juvenile twist on sexual relationships between men and women. it's no accident that the word juvenile comes from Juvenal and ancient roman satirist who wrote in misogynistic immature tones about the relationships between men and women.
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Old 10-22-2014, 12:32 AM   #114
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Originally Posted by Yakatori View Post
You guys are brushing past a lot of context. Or, maybe, just imposing your own personal perspectives onto something that's a bit more universal in its appeal.

It really depends as much on who's using the term, & as applied to whom.

For well over 20 years, before the popular movie American Pie, the title MILF has been used to describe an entire genre of porn depicting the fantasy of an a older woman (read marriage-age, with children) who would otherwise be unattainable. Either for obstacles of marriage, social class/caste, and/or propriety, where-upon the imposed restraints of such conventions have been (as if) miraculously superseded via the power of raw, unadulterated lust. -Or- whatever else you might somehow fold into that as a (very) basic plot device:

"Low self-esteem"? Yeah, sure, I guess so. Why not? But also to include things like revenge, jealously, ambition, romance, maternal-instinct, curiosity?

And, just as is the case with any of a myriad of other types of descriptions and terminology pertaining to the general topic of sexuality, I would strongly suspect its actual inception predates the more wide-spread and commercialized exploitation thereof. Even if that happens to be the most popular or widespread context in which many or even most people originally recall their very first exposure to it.

As for the construct itself, just the basic theme; honestly, I think you at least have to go well into time of Classical Antiquity (both it's literature as well as whatever other types of of artifacts) for a truly original rendition of that.

Cougar; again, same thing: For a few years now, there's been an actual show, starring Courtney Cox, called Cougartown. But, then, on that point, you might well say that the term itself has jumped-the-shark, so to speak.

That is, women in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, ect... who habitually prefer & pursue guys that are 10 or 15 years younger generally don't care what anyone else calls it. Likewise, the type of guys they date, nowadays, do not really have any practical need for any particular term.

However, on the other hand, some women who've just past whatever milestone (25, 30, etc..) & normally used dating exclusively with-in a certain range ARE sensitive to that type of thing. Probably more likely so if they're the type to lie about their age; although, in that type of case, they are obviously not too, too sensitive about it, right?

I mean, it's like some of you think the greasers first began with John Travolta and shows like Sha Na Na. Yeah, maybe you could make an argument like that; you know, from taken from a certain p.o.v. But, I think, maybe it's better that you don't?

ha! i read this after i posted. i guess we were thinking along similar lines.
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:44 PM   #115
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i don't. the term references that kind of woman and makes them into that. you need to into the MILF stereotype a bit more and maybe actually talk to some young people every once in a while. they'll tell you themselves.

you chose to cut out my statement about cougars because you know it's t the very same dynamic of an older woman and a younger man but the attitude toward the woman involved is totally different as is the power
dynamic. there is no attempt to humiliate a woman's or her family. the cougar issue is all about basic enjoyment of sexuality but the MILF term is about the humiliation of a woman AND her family.

let me break it down to history, language and brass tacks for you. it's an insecure young man who needs to dominate or humiliate who would use that term. and sleeping with someone's mother ( being an MF) has always been perceived as a humiliation which is why it is a curse. and MF is the lowest person because he humiliates the sanctity of someone's home--motherhood, a man's wife. he has been since at least ancient greek times which is one of the places where the curse was used earlier if not earliest. young men today seek to identify themselves to that term to appear edgy and to push the social boundaries of acceptable behaviors for young men much as they did in ancient times. the term MILF didn't exist but the concept did which is why you have things like Oedipus being written. the most subversive thing young scared arrogant boys full of empty bluster feel they can do is talk about defiling someone else's mother and cuckolding their friend's fathers. it's as old as the hills and the meaning is just as old. MILF is just yet another term signifying a weak flawed male's attempt to gain power in the masculine world on the backs of women. it has nothing to do with pure desire of women. if it did why the need to mention her familial affiliations at all? because he is not just "F"ing her but the males in her family too.


MILF is just another backward juvenile twist on sexual relationships between men and women. it's no accident that the word juvenile comes from Juvenal and ancient roman satirist who wrote in misogynistic immature tones about the relationships between men and women.
Talk about over analyzing an issue!!! When guys get together they talk about women -- young guys -- middle age guys -- old guys. The word of the day young guys use to describe an attractive somewhat older woman is MILF (it actually doesn't matter if the female in questions is actually a mother). Tomorrow they'll use a different word. However, what will not change is the fact that guys will always notice attractive women.

There is no evil plot to degrade women. Indeed most women enjoy being noticed.
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:59 PM   #116
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Talk about over analyzing an issue!!! When guys get together they talk about women -- young guys -- middle age guys -- old guys. The word of the day young guys use to describe an attractive somewhat older woman is MILF (it actually doesn't matter if the female in questions is actually a mother). Tomorrow they'll use a different word. However, what will not change is the fact that guys will always notice attractive women.

There is no evil plot to degrade women. Indeed most women enjoy being noticed.
seems like you need to start analyzing something
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:10 PM   #117
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seems like you need to start analyzing something

Where do I get a grant to start my MILF study?
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:45 PM   #118
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...

you chose to cut out my statement about cougars because you know it's t the very same dynamic of an older woman and a younger man but the attitude toward the woman involved is totally different as is the power
dynamic. there is no attempt to humiliate a woman's or her family. the cougar issue is all about basic enjoyment of sexuality but the MILF term is about the humiliation of a woman AND her family.

...
I'm all for enjoyment of sexuality. I hope everyone young and old have fun and satisfying sex lives. If certain women find that satisfaction with younger partners more power to them.

My issue is actually more broad. It has to do with what I like to call Thatcher Syndrome (after the late Prime Minister). The idea held by some women that being a successful powerful woman requires the emulation of some of the worst stereotypical male behaviors.

With respect to sexuality -- to extent that being a cougar includes emulation of creepy old guy behavior -- I feel the word has a decidedly negative connotation. That said its entirely possible for an older guy to meet and date younger women without being creepy. The same is true for older women and younger guys.

As I mentioned earlier I believe the gender difference here is linguistic. It seems that when women use the term cougar when talking among themselves the term is positive (the female equivalent of guys saying another guy is still a stud). However, when guys use the term when talking among themselves the term is negative (the male equivalent of women talking about that creepy old guy).
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Old 10-22-2014, 11:46 PM   #119
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no disrespect to the people who think otherwise but the equivalent of " i'd do her" is not really a compliment.
The phrase "I'd do her" does not express that a woman is desirable. It expresses that the man is doing a woman a favor by having sex with her. A woman who has any self-respect would never put up with a guy who would "do her" out of pity, like he is doing a favor for her.






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Old 10-23-2014, 06:44 AM   #120
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The phrase "I'd do her" does not express that a woman is desirable. It expresses that the man is doing a woman a favor by having sex with her. A woman who has any self-respect would never put up with a guy who would "do her" out of pity, like he is doing a favor for her.







When you put it THAT way Emory then I don't like it either!
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Old 10-23-2014, 09:45 AM   #121
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I personally feel that any terms we use can be taken out of context depending on the person who is receiving and the giver.. some people can be disrespectful no matter if they were using the word "nice" in a sarcastic way. It depends on the person, the way they are using the term and if the person they are talking to truly wants to know how they mean these terms all we have to do is ask if they are alright with those terms. Each person has a right to love who they want whether they be thin, fat, tall, short and etc.. some people even get offended being called "skinny" my own mother did when she was living and she would tell people so.. I think we all must remember to use respect no matter what terms we are using because feelings can be hurt sometimes and we don't even realize it. I truly hope I have not gotten off track here, I just know myself how things we say to another can be taken wrong so we need to be careful no matter what we say. If a woman is comfortable being called a cougar than so be it, or MILF or GILF.. what one thinks is wrong or offensive another may not see it that way because of the way they are thinking. (What it boils down to and what I am trying to say is we don't all think the same way or do things the same way but we always need to respect others)..
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Old 10-23-2014, 11:06 AM   #122
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Well put, Ohio...And you are attractive nio matter what term we choose to employ.
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Old 10-23-2014, 11:28 AM   #123
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Well put, Ohio...And you are attractive nio matter what term we choose to employ.
Thank you bbwbud.
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Old 10-23-2014, 04:25 PM   #124
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Cougar has you beat...my live in boyfriend is ten years younger than me
He likes it big when I feel dirty with him.
This is so full of win. I will try to rep this post until the end of time.
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