Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > FA/FFA forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-21-2016, 11:51 AM   #51
fuelingfire
 
fuelingfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 414
fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I think that if there was a 300 lb woman in the room with them taking part in the converation, some of the harsher things would have been reworded. It would have helped if they had some fat friends.
__________________
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
fuelingfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2016, 11:53 AM   #52
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Not that romantic/sexual partners don't enter into it, but I think more broadly there is a praise / prestige / privilege factor that matters at least as much to many people.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2016, 12:33 PM   #53
fuelingfire
 
fuelingfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 414
fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

And the FA is challenging the status quo.
__________________
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
fuelingfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2016, 08:19 PM   #54
y2kboris1
 
y2kboris1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Warwick RI/Bristol CT
Posts: 31
y2kboris1 can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Not that romantic/sexual partners don't enter into it, but I think more broadly there is a praise / prestige / privilege factor that matters at least as much to many people.
Exactly Tad. It's almost as though some of them have an entitlement mentality. They think that since they've worked out to maintain their fitness that now they're entitled to pretty much choose whoever they want their partner to be (within reason). I think it's important to caution everyone in those moments; for both genders to remember they're not owed anything by anyone, for any reason, and just cause one group of individuals has a particular set of standards doesn't mean those standards can be universally applied to everyone.
y2kboris1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-2016, 07:46 PM   #55
Leem
Leem
 
Leem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 424
Leem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

I felt that there was some "skinny privilege" going on in the video discussion. Somehow they felt that guys should not prefer the heavier girl and were put out by the idea even going so far as to say you can make a poll say anything(which is true to some extent). They also clearly looked down upon and considered women who are heavier as lesser people to be treated as such. Even though they gave lip service to the idea that it was ok to be heavier it was clear in their body language and facial expressions of how dare a fatter woman be preferred, "she is unhealthy".

I also felt that two of the girls used the fit argument to put down fat girls, not recognizing that fat girls can also be healthy and at times are healthier than some skinny girls. Their are a lot of issues to discuss in these two videos but I feel that one of them is the argument that only thin is healthy and that has been proven to not be true.

The ironic part is that the skinny girl felt attacked by one article when fat people are bombarded with negativity every day. Somehow it was detracting from her and how dare an article imply that men prefer someone heavier and then that is somehow a put down for the skinny woman. While I have not read nor even seen the article it is very telling that she felt put down, when it sounds like they were just reporting an informal poll and some how this means that there is skinny hate, one article =skinny hate. Crazy.
Leem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 05:21 AM   #56
y2kboris1
 
y2kboris1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Warwick RI/Bristol CT
Posts: 31
y2kboris1 can now change their title
Default

I never necessarily agreed with their conclusions. I was just using the videos to prove a point that indeed some girls use the jealousy thing as a form of animosity against bigger women. I think Kittykitten first said it but then Tad nailed it. Some people really see society as a pecking order, and that people need to fall in line, which has a very entitlement mentality connected to it. That was mainly the point I was making with the vids but I fear the vids may derail the thread. Back to my original point; people shouldn't feel entitled to a particular body type just because they happen to have another particular body type that mainstream society deems more attractive. You should take each person on a case by case basis cause you just never know.
y2kboris1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 08:04 AM   #57
fuelingfire
 
fuelingfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 414
fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

It depends on the view point. From a sociological standpoint, what you are saying is correct and what they believe is awful.

From the ecology perspective, this is how species function. The most beautiful mates are the ones who will attract the most partners and be able to be more selective. Just like for most species, the most powerful male has the choice of who to mate with. This is very simplified, and there is no right or wrong judgment in this paragraph.

I suspect, in relation to the thread topic, it comes from frustration of seeing societal normal being violated and not knowing what to think about it. They give a knee jerk reaction, which often leads to saying terrible things. I would equate this to not really thinking through what this means. Thin women should not see fat women as something to fear. Those videos were usually speaking in absolutes, should thin women have to gain weight because of what a pole said?

I can give two other areas where I have witnessed similar reactions. This is not meant to change the topic.

1. I eat a plant based diet (or vegan, though I am not really vegan) so no meat or dairy. I have been since 2010. I try not to bring it up to people, due to very strange reactions from them. One of the most recent was a nurse who upon finding out my diet, told me she was eating a grapefruit, what a grapefruit was, and that I should be able to eat grapefruit… I have no idea why, I didn’t ask what she was eating or what a grapefruit is.
2. If you are Caucasian, ask yourself what it means to you to be white. I recently read this in a political article, but I felt mildly stumped. Most other races have no problem doing this. White people have a problem doing this because they (we) just think of white as being the norm, which doesn’t need explanation.
__________________
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
fuelingfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 09:43 AM   #58
y2kboris1
 
y2kboris1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Warwick RI/Bristol CT
Posts: 31
y2kboris1 can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
It depends on the view point. From a sociological standpoint, what you are saying is correct and what they believe is awful.

From the ecology perspective, this is how species function. The most beautiful mates are the ones who will attract the most partners and be able to be more selective. Just like for most species, the most powerful male has the choice of who to mate with. This is very simplified, and there is no right or wrong judgment in this paragraph.

I suspect, in relation to the thread topic, it comes from frustration of seeing societal normal being violated and not knowing what to think about it. They give a knee jerk reaction, which often leads to saying terrible things. I would equate this to not really thinking through what this means. Thin women should not see fat women as something to fear. Those videos were usually speaking in absolutes, should thin women have to gain weight because of what a pole said?

I can give two other areas where I have witnessed similar reactions. This is not meant to change the topic.

1. I eat a plant based diet (or vegan, though I am not really vegan) so no meat or dairy. I have been since 2010. I try not to bring it up to people, due to very strange reactions from them. One of the most recent was a nurse who upon finding out my diet, told me she was eating a grapefruit, what a grapefruit was, and that I should be able to eat grapefruit… I have no idea why, I didn’t ask what she was eating or what a grapefruit is.
2. If you are Caucasian, ask yourself what it means to you to be white. I recently read this in a political article, but I felt mildly stumped. Most other races have no problem doing this. White people have a problem doing this because they (we) just think of white as being the norm, which doesn’t need explanation.
So Fueling basically what you're saying is you think thin privilege exists? I have no doubt that social hierarchy plays into the psychology of why some people think they deserve a better mate. People think they deserve certain things for a lot of convoluted reasons: sometimes it's they make a lot of money, sometimes they're very athletic, smart, etc. Sometimes they just lucked out on the genetic lottery and are more fundamentally attractive, but it all goes back to the pecking order. I think it has more to do with the psychological makeup of individuals. If you teach someone from the moment they're born that as long as they adhere to some arbitrary standard (idk in this case for women they stay between 100-120 lbs) they'll be considered more attractive and find a partner easier. When it dawns on them that's not really the case some do become outright hostile, but in my own learned experience being thin doesn't just automatically get me stuff. Even at my thinnest/ most physically fit moments in life it never really changed the rate at which women were interested in me, only how they chose to deal with or interact with me. That was made obviously clear to me by my recent encounters at my gym.
y2kboris1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 10:05 AM   #59
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I would absolutely say that 'thin privilege' exists -- in varying degrees depending on your local setting/micro-culture.

I think that is part of why you get so much of women comparing the diets they are on and men comparing their exercise regimes -- they are confirming that they deserve that privilege.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 10:33 AM   #60
y2kboris1
 
y2kboris1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Warwick RI/Bristol CT
Posts: 31
y2kboris1 can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
I would absolutely say that 'thin privilege' exists -- in varying degrees depending on your local setting/micro-culture.

I think that is part of why you get so much of women comparing the diets they are on and men comparing their exercise regimes -- they are confirming that they deserve that privilege.
Tad if that is the case then wow. Talk about something laced with dark sardonic humor, but also incredible tragedy. My own personal philosophy in life has always been if you work hard, physically, intellectually, in school, work, your personal life etc; your efforts will be rewarded. My parents always taught me the world doesn't owe anyone jack-smack and if you want something you need to go out and earn it. I'm starting to wonder though what the difference is, or more precisely the conflation is between why some people feel as though they're entitled to something, and yet others learn to be more humble in their dealings? To me this type of thinking seems so alien cause my friends and I grew up in a kind of very conservative and religious setting so our parents taught us the importance of valuing others over material gain or status, but still. Do you think it's associated with personality type?
y2kboris1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 03:22 PM   #61
fuelingfire
 
fuelingfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 414
fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

In the last 5 years the use of terms like “privilege” and “entitlements” has become buzz words with a negative connotation that have been used to elicit emotional responses. I dislike using them in my vocabulary. This is part of why I am not outright saying yes.

Thin attractive people have more options available to them. Some people are assholes. Some people have an inflated ego. Fat hate exists. You can mix and match these with each other.

I exercise because I like how it feels. I enjoy pushing myself. I have been exercising daily since probably the age of 12. I feel like something is wrong if I go three days without working out. I assume it has to do with endorphins. The fact that it helps my body look the way society says is attractive is more of a bonus. I don’t really feel I get an advantage over other people because of it.

Is what you guys are referring to is a woman who is obsessed with loosing that last 10 pounds because the number on the scale mean something to them? I think the last few post make more sense in that context.
__________________
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
fuelingfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 03:27 PM   #62
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Boris -- I read one time (but long ago, cannot point to it, and it was anecdotal, so I can't swear that it is true ....) that a traveller in Tibet was amazed to see that one exercise that young monks went through was to sit outside, meditating, in the cold Tibetan weather, barely dressed, and draped in a wet sheet. The idea was that they would learn to control their body to the extant that they could stay warm despite those conditions.

This story went on to note that the young monks would compete to see who could dry their sheet the most quickly.

As I said, I don't swear that this story is true, but all the same I consider it a gorgeous illustration of human nature. No matter the setting on context, people compete. Sometimes in productive ways, sometimes in harmless ways, sometimes in destructive ways -- but even if we were to all agree that competition was bad, you just know that somebody would want to show that they were less competitive than everyone else ...

Even in your childhood community, there was probably people who always got to church early to get the pew at the front, or people always brought the best food to a pot-luck, or people who always had their lawn taken care of just so, and so on. And I would be shocked if you and your friends didn't know who the fastest runner was, the better batters at baseball, the one whose birthday parties were always just that little bit fancier -- and if there was not some degree of pride or prestige involved in such things.

But really, I'm just droaning about what Dr. Seuss illustrated so ever much better. Go to the 45 second mark of this video then watch it through.


(and yes, I'm totally flaunting my knowledge of childhood culture )
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist

Last edited by Tad; 11-23-2016 at 03:28 PM. Reason: Changed the video link to a better one
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 03:45 PM   #63
happily_married
Happy to be part of Dims!
 
happily_married's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 843
happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
I almost feel like this analogy might give the thin athletic view point. A woman work very hard to achieve this body that meets society’s view of beauty. Then she sees an attractive guy go after a girl who clearly doesn’t care about taking care of herself. This would be like a woman who worked hard to gain a million dollar wealth, only to see an attractive guy who wants to be with a poor person. It would be a head scratcher.
I definitely think there's something to this idea. If you talk to a lot of people who are fit they will often repeat a narrative along the lines of "I worked hard to get the body I have and I want someone who has put in an equal amount of effort..." and I think that's fair if that's something that's important to that person. And a lot of those same people will also agree people should date who they want and not judge negatively someone who is fit but wants to be in a relationship with a fat person. And then there are those who are mystified. And I've definitely encountered them over the years. The bigger issue though is not their anti-fat bias (that's just a symptom) but on a larger scale it's more likely an inability to understand someone else's point of view. Just go to HP and you'll see most of the threads there are defined by people who are unwilling or unable to see something from a PoV that is different from their own. So it should not come as a surprise to us to observe this human flaw as it applies to fit people disapproving of other fit people who date fat people.
happily_married is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2016, 11:26 AM   #64
y2kboris1
 
y2kboris1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Warwick RI/Bristol CT
Posts: 31
y2kboris1 can now change their title
Default

I'm not saying I've never observed people being competitive as part of normal human nature, part of everyday life in suburban America, but it just mesmerizes me how vitriolic some people can be in their judgements against others (especially when they absolutely DO NOT know the other person, their situation, and what they're about). The nights at Planet Fitness the girl scowled at me I imagine were similar to what BostonBBWluv experienced in the bank that one time. I've had nights where it was outright scowls, and then some girls will give me a telling smirk. I work for now during school at a local grocery store and in line sometimes girls will still flirt with me and it's obvious from the way I square against my workspace that they can see my wedding ring (yes I am married now). Yet these girls continue to flirt with me even after I clarify I am taken; a flash of the hand maybe? I'm not obscenely gesturing them, I'm trying to clarify that I'm taken, but they still don't care. It's like our entire generation is in moral decay.
y2kboris1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:25 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.