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Old 09-18-2012, 10:14 PM   #1
WhiteHotRazor
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Default The Official Thread For Really Bad Advice

To all the BHM's and FFA or whatever the hell you consider yourself that are looking to find love here's some bad advice for you, pick up a crippling drug addiction there's always some woman or man that will have a soft spot and take you in and no matter how much you ruin their life they will always love you.

remember, people tend to like challenges.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:17 PM   #2
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Stalk them. Don't take 'no' for an answer. Hell, dignity is just a word and wearing them down usually works. Usually. Make sure Mom has bail money just in case.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:18 PM   #3
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Honesty is always the best policy, even when a woman asks how they look in that dress they picked up at goodwill.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:22 PM   #4
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First impressions are lasting impressions. Alcohol isn't called 'liquid courage' for nothing. Copious amounts, but not so much that they're mopping up your courage, unless they're a nurse, then Nightingale Syndrome might work in your favor.
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Free me, free yourself
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But those promises I made
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The shackles fall away I'm in your power



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Old 09-18-2012, 10:36 PM   #5
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Default

Hey now, why are you telling my secret? haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor View Post
To all the BHM's and FFA or whatever the hell you consider yourself that are looking to find love here's some bad advice for you, pick up a crippling drug addiction there's always some woman or man that will have a soft spot and take you in and no matter how much you ruin their life they will always love you.

remember, people tend to like challenges.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:37 PM   #6
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Default

If you go home with a random stranger and just so happen to look in their medicine cabinet and see Valtrex, don't freak out most likely it's their roommates.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:37 PM   #7
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Go ahead and have another baby, The world needs more kids dragged up without a father.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor View Post
If you go home with a random stranger and just so happen to look in their medicine cabinet and see Valtrex, don't freak out most likely it's their roommates.
If they have no roommate, it's definitely their cat's. Don't dis the cat, dude/ette.
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Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:56 PM   #9
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Default

When a woman is being a complete JERK (i say this word only to keep my feminist rep in tact on this dumb site) a good way to make them realize their poor behavior is to tell them that "They really are just like their mother" works every time.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:59 PM   #10
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Don't lie to a man and tell him 'size doesn't matter' but at the same time, make sure you have a concrete exit plan. And cab fare home.
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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Old 09-18-2012, 11:12 PM   #11
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At social events a good way to get everyone in a really cheerful mood is to bring up politics and religion, make sure to tell everyone else their opinion sucks and that they're idiots for not thinking like you, maybe even use the word "reprehensible" a few times. They all will come around and everything will completely rock. For extra fun mix in tequila shots.
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Old 09-19-2012, 12:11 AM   #12
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when you don't have a condom, just raw dog it and pull out.

Alternatively, use saran wrap.

Alternatively to that, make sure she does some jumping jacks when the deed is done.

Crisis averted.
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:59 AM   #13
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If you keep a condom in your wallet, the heat of being against your body eventually damages the integrity of the condom. Take a sewing needle and poke some holes into the wrapper for ventilation. Problem solved.
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Old 09-19-2012, 02:33 AM   #14
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Always open surprise birthday presents from your lovers early. Like, super early. They REALLY like it when you do that. *coff coff*
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Old 09-19-2012, 03:09 AM   #15
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Black women really like it when you touch their hair, give it a try sometime to a random stranger just to see how much it makes their day.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:59 AM   #16
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Make sure everyone knows that you are the smartest person in the room.
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Old 09-19-2012, 06:26 AM   #17
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Old 09-19-2012, 06:55 AM   #18
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Teach them the beauty of romantic love. Don't let reason, the word "no" or a restraining order stop you.
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Old 09-19-2012, 07:06 AM   #19
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Always get in the van. Sometimes there really is free candy!
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Old 09-19-2012, 07:55 AM   #20
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Never drive drunk but if you must drive drunk drive really fast so you aren't on the road as long.

Also never try to bribe a cop when he pulls you over for speeding and driving drunk, offer him a beer instead.
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Old 09-19-2012, 09:54 AM   #21
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You can evade public masturbation charges by telling the police that you are a diplomat.

Keep some Ativan on hand if you think you may OD on blow - they totally cancel each other.

If you think your pants are too tight, just make sure that the ass is super baggy. This compensates and looks so sexy.

No no...your small dog is not annoying as fuck. Take that thing everywhere.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:20 AM   #22
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Wear sportswear only if you do not participate in any sports. Lots of it, I mean it looks SO hot, especially man made materials
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:23 AM   #23
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Don't worry--just let the politicians take care of it!
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:58 AM   #24
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When visiting or travelling through Los Angeles make sure to boldly wear blue or red apparel,it's a good way of showing your patriotism to a great American city.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:42 PM   #25
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when riding a motorcycle it is very sexy to wear no shirt, shorts and flip flops, or white sneakers show how TRUELY BAD ASS you are...
as worn by JAX ON SOA
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