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Old 09-19-2012, 07:34 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor View Post
Black women really like it when you touch their hair, give it a try sometime to a random stranger just to see how much it makes their day.
I'm sorry, but we no longer answer to the term
black, negro, colored, or even African-American.
The preferred term is now "Cornbread Boogaloo,"
and in order to display your political awareness
and willingness to embrace diversity, I suggest
you all individually find an assembled group of
people of African descent, and introduce yourselves
loudly, proudly, and at least 3 blocks away from your car.


Blame Charles Cozart for this one.
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Old 09-19-2012, 08:00 PM   #27
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"If some is good, more is better" applies to all situations. All of them. No exceptions...
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:32 PM   #28
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Make sure you repeatedly point out all their flaws. Go into great detail, in case they haven't gotten your point, and remind them several times. Their gratitude may appear like exasperation but you will be rewarded with an embrace that only looks like a punch in the nuts. Lean back and reap the benefits of your good deeds.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:36 PM   #29
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Shove your opinion into every facet of her life. Make that silly girl see that you obviously know what's best for her! Every girl is a damsel in distress, so you need to be their white knight.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:46 PM   #30
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Pursue her relentlessly and publicly even if it takes years. Then once she favorably responds to your attention, tell her you love her. Share intimate memories and moments with her. Tell her your greatest fears and make her believe that it's real, not like with those other assholes. Reassure her every reluctance. Make her trust you. Make plans with her, and share them with your mutual friends and family. Dedicate special things to her. And then, to show her who's boss, cut off all communication and ignore her pleas to even know whether you're dead or alive because you're the man. Then, when she's finally over you and moved on, invade her safe spaces and dominate them while pointedly ignoring her, to continue showing her who's boss.

Everyone will love you for it, most especially your mutual friends.
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:16 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by sarahe543 View Post
Wear sportswear only if you do not participate in any sports. Lots of it, I mean it looks SO hot, especially man made materials
I do love the way Nylon tracksuits chafe my inner thighs!
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:03 AM   #32
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When meeting your partner's parents for the first time, take the edge off by getting drunk and naked. It'll make everyone laugh and put them at ease. They'll love you for it. This works even better in public settings. Hit on Grandma if she's there, the old gal will appreciate the attention.
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Old 09-20-2012, 07:14 AM   #33
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Are you for real here? Seriously?

Did you not get the gist of the thread? And come on, there's been a freaking movie about black women and their hair. His post wasn't a stretch by any means. And do you even know if this man has a black wife or black kids or a multitude of black friends? I'm kind of confused where all of this came from. I have a sister that is black and her hair is a big deal all the time. I think she would find it funny as hell.

Edit: Theronin23 thinks your kidding. And I thought so at first too, so apologies if you were. But if you weren't, i'm still confused. Haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelocs View Post
I'm sorry, but we no longer answer to the term
black, negro, colored, or even African-American.
The preferred term is now "Cornbread Boogaloo,"
and in order to display your political awareness
and willingness to embrace diversity, I suggest
you all individually find an assembled group of
people of African descent, and introduce yourselves
loudly, proudly, and at least 3 blocks away from your car.


Blame Charles Cozart for this one.

Last edited by Surlysomething; 09-20-2012 at 07:30 AM. Reason: added the edit
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Old 09-20-2012, 07:20 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penguin View Post
When meeting your partner's parents for the first time, take the edge off by getting drunk and naked. It'll make everyone laugh and put them at ease. They'll love you for it. This works even better in public settings. Hit on Grandma if she's there, the old gal will appreciate the attention.
It'll be a great story at the wedding!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
Are you for real here? Seriously?

Did you not get the gist of the thread? And come on, there's been a freaking movie about black women and their hair. His post wasn't a stretch by any means. And do you even know if this man has a black wife or black kids or a multitude of black friends? I'm kind of confused where all of this came from. I have a sister that is black and her hair is a big deal all the time. I think she would find it funny as hell.
I think she was kidding. Giving more bad advice. She said they answer to "Cornbread Boogaloo" FFS lol.
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Old 09-20-2012, 07:29 AM   #35
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I think she was kidding. Giving more bad advice. She said they answer to "Cornbread Boogaloo" FFS lol.
I really hope so.
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Old 09-20-2012, 10:39 AM   #36
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I really hope so.
Surly..... calm down. She's OBVIOUSLY joining in.
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Old 09-20-2012, 10:53 AM   #37
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Default "Best" Advice

I've heard that caffeine counteracts alcohol, so a person who's been drinking needs to make that "last one for the road", coffee.

Really bad advice!
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Old 09-20-2012, 11:18 AM   #38
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Excuse me? Obviously? I didn't see it as obvious and other people that I have talked to privately didn't either. I also edited my comment. So maybe it's you that needs to calm down? Yep.



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Surly..... calm down. She's OBVIOUSLY joining in.
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:03 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
Excuse me? Obviously? I didn't see it as obvious and other people that I have talked to privately didn't either. I also edited my comment. So maybe it's you that needs to calm down? Yep.
Haha. That'll teach me to refresh an old page before I hit reply.

-------------

Always suspect someone of throwing a race-based hissy fit in a sarcastic thread.

Try your best to take someone's comments in a negative way. Bite their head off too, they will fall over themselves in an attempt to apologise and you can proceed to arse-rape them to your heart's content.

Never ask someone what they mean. Who knows more what they intended to say than strangers?
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Last edited by Sasquatch!; 09-20-2012 at 12:05 PM. Reason: --- added for clarity
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:18 PM   #40
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You're really not trying to school me on thread etiquette, are you? Haha.

Please say no.


Quote:
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Haha. That'll teach me to refresh an old page before I hit reply.

-------------

Always suspect someone of throwing a race-based hissy fit in a sarcastic thread.

Try your best to take someone's comments in a negative way. Bite their head off too, they will fall over themselves in an attempt to apologise and you can proceed to arse-rape them to your heart's content.

Never ask someone what they mean. Who knows more what they intended to say than strangers?
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:34 PM   #41
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The only way to gain respect is by kicking people in the balls. Do so on a regular basis.
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:40 PM   #42
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:42 PM   #43
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Hahaha! Where's that from?
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:43 PM   #44
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Hahaha! Where's that from?
The TV show Psych, I believe.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:50 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelocs View Post
I'm sorry, but we no longer answer to the term
black, negro, colored, or even African-American.
The preferred term is now "Cornbread Boogaloo,"
and in order to display your political awareness
and willingness to embrace diversity, I suggest
you all individually find an assembled group of
people of African descent, and introduce yourselves
loudly, proudly, and at least 3 blocks away from your car.


Blame Charles Cozart for this one.
BAHAHAHAHA!! Cornbread boogaloo!!
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:06 PM   #46
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Getting all up in a woman's business while she has PMS is sure to win you bonus points in every aspect of your relationship together.
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:07 PM   #47
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If you haven't started smoking already you should really start now,those tv ads with the bodybags are all a buncha propaganda, fuckin liberals trying to push their agendas on everyone...and if you hadn't heard,all the cool kids are doing it duh. Plus it makes your clothes smell so good and the public is really accommodating to your habit unless you live in Europe or Nashville.
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:17 PM   #48
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If you haven't started smoking already you should really start now,those tv ads with the bodybags are all a buncha propaganda, fuckin liberals trying to push their agendas on everyone...and if you hadn't heard,all the cool kids are doing it duh. Plus it makes your clothes smell so good and the public is really accommodating to your habit unless you live in Europe or Nashville.
I loooove the smell of stale cigarette smoke and unwashed clothes. It's so retro!
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:33 PM   #49
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lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default Where My Boogaloos At!?!?

Hello Surly,
I did "get" whitehotrazor's post, and was merely riffing on it, for the exact reason that I appreciated it. As a woman with hip length dreadlocks, or locs, I know what it's like to have people touch my hair without asking (and even asking can be odious, because a polite person will feel obligated to say 'yes'). Also, the post contained the type of insight which points to him or her having more than a superficial acquaintance with black culture. So yes, to me it was rather obvious that razor, if not black, had at least met enough black people to have encountered this issue, if not made the gaffe his or herself. Actually, this didn't make me angry or pissy, it made me comfortable enough to share a joke I wouldn't share with a room full of random internet folk. This is the BHM/FFA section of DIMS, my old stomping ground. I got comfortable, and I'm going to stay comfortable.

As for taking offense, you might have done well to do two things:

1. If you were pming anyone at all, you could have sent one to me, asking for clarification. You didn't. Why not?

2. You could have taken a look at previous postings that I've made in the forums. Would have taken a bit more time, but it's something I've done in order to better ascertain what someone may have meant by their comments. If you look at my past postings, you'll see that I'm not a shit-stirrer by any means, that I like a good joke on nearly any subject, and that I think before I post.

And yes, if Sassy wasn't, then *I* am trying to school you in forum etiquette.

Lastly, I tried to make my comment so incredibly over the top that NO ONE would doubt for a moment that I was joking. I even referenced the comedian who had come up with the original routine. I see that I will have to work harder in the future.
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Last edited by lovelocs; 09-20-2012 at 03:36 PM. Reason: format and line breaks.
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:15 PM   #50
djudex
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djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Gods be damned I wish this rep system worked like I need it to work!
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