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Old 12-04-2012, 05:26 PM   #1
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Default Does it run in the family? (FA relatives.)

It might sound weird, but I'm fairly positive that having a preference for larger folks has some sort of genetic component. If this seems silly, bear with me for a moment.

My younger brother and I are both FAs. When we were younger and played house we'd take turns stuffing pillows in our shirts and being "the fat one." We played pretend games where a character would grow until they were the size of a planet. At 13 (he was 11) I stumbled across a site for weight gain and inflation art and we spent a lot of time nervously giggling over that, not quite sure if what we were doing was weird. Of course, there comes a point when opposite sex siblings stop discussing these sorts of things with each other, so by the end of my middle school years our preferences became a sort of silently acknowledged secret we shared.

You could argue that this is just about environment if it weren't for the fact that my paternal uncle is also the butt of jokes in our family for his feeder lifestyle. Obviously I didn't know this as a kid, but now my Dad constantly talks about the "chubby chaser gene." Judging by the numerous comments he makes about my mom's "booty" and how she could "stand to gain a little weight," I think he might have gotten it too.

So if you bothered to read all that: Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have relatives who also share this preference? A lot of people don't know too much about their family's personal lives, but my therapist told me that fetishes can run in families so...why not this?

Look forward to reading any stories/responses.
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Old 12-04-2012, 05:40 PM   #2
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My reaction to my dad talking about my mothers booty


But to answer your question...I come from a family of large men and a majority of the women in my family are tiny..so I guess genes might have something to do with it
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Old 12-04-2012, 05:55 PM   #3
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My reaction to my dad talking about my mothers booty


But to answer your question...I come from a family of large men and a majority of the women in my family are tiny..so I guess genes might have something to do with it
My thoughts exactly, lol. My family has always been wayyyy too open about things. My dad once asked me if I had condoms as I walked out the door and offered to give me some if I didn't. I Just...



But anyway, thanks. I think there might be evidence of this in people's families if they look for it.
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:59 PM   #4
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you're welcome.
Never really thought about it before but there is def something to that thought.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:35 AM   #5
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This subject has been visited upon many times but it's always interesting to read people's experiences so I'll just suggest when you're bored to look up similar threads in the index.

Anyway, while some people here say 'no way and in fact my family is actually fat-phobic', others say it's GOT to be genetic. It could be nature, could be nurture.

I only know that I like big guys and average sized guys but especially big guys and that might have something to do with the fact that everyone in my family is fat (going back a few generations) and also really good-looking and all our friends were fat, including my parents' friends while I was growing up so I was around fat and happy people a lot. The weird thing is that none of my siblings (all fat) married fat people, including me. The BHMs here on Dims are cool, but in real life, I've never actually met a fat dude who was also into fat chicks. Most either looked right through me or were outright hostile so my dating pool was at best, average size guys and I'd cross my fingers that they might have a pot-belly at least. My ex husband fell into the latter category.

If I could snap my fingers, I'd like a tall fat guy, because I've never been with either. Maybe I'll have better luck what what I'm most attracted to, but the most important thing is really other characteristics like a sense of humor, intellect, emotional stability and maturity and having some kind of passion for something in life. Also hygiene, because there's just no excuse for being a funky gerbil.

EDT: My mom would now be considered barely plus size but back in the seventies it was definitely considered fat. My father thought she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. I did too.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:11 AM   #6
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As CP said, search through the older posts and you'll find this has been discussed at some length. There are occasionally people with stories like yours, but more who seem to have no other FA in their family. (I'm in that latter category....the closest I could say is that one grandfather was a big husky farmer and his wife was a petite little thing, so potentially she could have been something like an FFA? But neither my mom nor either of her siblings have ever shown signs of that).

But as the saying goes "The plural of anecdote is not 'data'." I don't think anyone has ever even come close to gathering the sort of information that would be required to figure this out.

For what it is worth, there are at least three contributors to those things that seem to have been part of us 'forever.'
- Our actual genes, passed down in reasonably predictable ways
- epigenetics, meaning which genes are turned on, much of which is inherited but which does have a more individual or random component than the genes themselves.
- influences in the womb and while we are really small, that are in place before we have much sense of self and at ages that we can't really remember when we are older. It seems that a fair bit of sexuality may actually be set this way. Some of these may 'run in the family' (you get exposed to similar environments), but particular events can happen to give different overall experiences.

So at the least, it is complicated.

But on the plus side, for you, it sounds like nobody in your family is going to give you too hard of a time for dating a big guy!
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:01 AM   #7
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I beleive it runs in my family.

Mom is an apple shaped BBW and was 5'9" before she started shrinking.

My ex wife was a 5'2" BBW , about 235 at her heaviest with an hourglass shape. My GF is 5'11 and 400 ish with an apple shape.

My brother's ex wife was 6'2" and was over 500 at her heaviest with an apple shape . His finace is 5'3 and I'd guess under 250 with an hourglass shape.

Not only do we prefer BBWs but we appear correlate certain heights with specific shapes.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:59 AM   #8
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Thanks for your input guys. Always good to hear people's experiences and thoughts on this.

It's true, until someone does some long, generations long case study of a family like mine we'll never know. (And no offense to us FAs, I don't think that's high priority on most scientist's agendas, lol.) I think, like most things, it's probably a combination of nature and nurture.

And sorry if I didn't look through old topics thoroughly enough...I didn't mean to post about a subject that had already been covered.

As an aside, my Dad still makes fun of my brother and me for our preferences all the time and he's actually said some rather horrible things. But at the end of the day he still tells us that people of any size can be beautiful and that he's dated women from 90 pounds to 250 pounds. So I guess that makes him more understanding than a lot of parents (at least with this issue.)
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:01 AM   #9
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Doesn't run in my family, and I've got a big family. In my group of cousins including siblings there are 10 of us & they're all married, none of their spouses are plus-sized

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Old 12-05-2012, 03:14 PM   #10
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I learned that my German great grandmother was a BBW, my dad told me the story about how when Elvis was on TV back in the early 60's and she saw him gyrating his hips on TV ran over and shut it off, he said it was feat for her. Not that he was against BBW's or anything but I never met her or saw a pic of her so I never knew.
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:21 PM   #11
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I learned that my German great grandmother was a BBW, my dad told me the story about how when Elvis was on TV back in the early 60's and she saw him gyrating his hips on TV ran over and shut it off, he said it was feat for her. Not that he was against BBW's or anything but I never met her or saw a pic of her so I never knew.
I chuckled at the Elvis bit. And yeah, it's interesting to learn new things about your family history.
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:26 PM   #12
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Oh HELL no! You'd think by the way my family acts, I'm the only woman on earth that would find a big guy attractive. EVERY time, and I mean EVERY time my mother starts bitching about someone I'm with, she says these EXACT words...."And what is with this....FAT fetish you have?" She still talks about how I date fat guys....and what is my problem...blah blah blah blah blah

LOLOLOL It's even more hilarious because it's not like anyone in my family is skinny. I have been in the BBW community for years and it would flip my mom out that I would go to "those" clubs or talk to "those" people. My sister and I would just laugh. Hell, we had a great time at "those" places with "those" people."
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:44 PM   #13
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It's funny you posted this because we're always trying to debate that - especially with my brother but I am positive it runs in my family! My dad died when I was 4 but what I can see from pictures he was a husky guy. My whole family is big but I think we just feel comfortable with other bigger people... my sisters boyfriend is a big husky guy, my boyfriend isn't too big but he's fluffy. My brothers wife is a pretty big girl, and his girlfriends before he got married were also very big (especially in the chest area! LOL)... my other brother is dating this other very big girl right now. So I would assume that my family is a bunch of FAs lol.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:30 PM   #14
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My preferences are pretty much the opposite of my dad. On the other hand, he's very hands-off with any relationships I get into, which I have endless respect for.
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:22 PM   #15
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I don't think it ran in my family.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:06 PM   #16
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Lets see, my ex was 185 lbs when I met her and topped out at about 340. My wife was 410 lbs when I met her -- she's about 330 now. My brother's wife is extremely thin. My mom had a very athletic build when she was young, was fairly plump in middle age, and is now rather small. My uncles (mom's brothers) all married big girls -- my oldest uncle's wife is very fat, the next uncle's wife is moderately fat, my youngest uncle's wife is just plump. These uncles are from the Puerto Rican side of the family so it might be cultural.
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:14 PM   #17
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I think a lot of the males in my family like curvy women, but only my brother is in the same boat as I am. But he likes thinner women more.

Most of the women in my family are curvy. Some are big as well.
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Old 12-06-2012, 07:10 PM   #18
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... I've never actually met a fat dude who was also into fat chicks. Most either looked right through me or were outright hostile so my dating pool was at best, average size guys and I'd cross my fingers that they might have a pot-belly at least. My ex husband fell into the latter category.

If I could snap my fingers, I'd like a tall fat guy, because I've never been with either. ...

Every time I talk about this I get flak but here goes again. Its been my experience that most BBW events are not very welcoming to fat guys and also that many fat women are not at all interested in fat guys. So its not at all surprising that many fat guys don't pursue fat women. Its self-preservation, rejection sucks, therefore, you avoid the demographic that has rejected you.

Its really ironic but fat guys get treated better by thin women. Its been my experience that thin women (probably because they have more experience and in many cases better self-esteem) are much more diplomatic when it comes to rejecting guys. Conversely, I've seen fat women blow off fat guys without doing anything to sugar coat the rejection (and this is at BBW events that are supposed to be size friendly).
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:29 AM   #19
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as far as i can tell i'm the first in my family, which makes it every bit as awkward as you might imagine.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:36 PM   #20
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It can be genetic, but it doesn't mean it will manifest in all family members. It does not run in my family for sure.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:37 PM   #21
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Every time I talk about this I get flak but here goes again. Its been my experience that most BBW events are not very welcoming to fat guys and also that many fat women are not at all interested in fat guys. So its not at all surprising that many fat guys don't pursue fat women. Its self-preservation, rejection sucks, therefore, you avoid the demographic that has rejected you.

Its really ironic but fat guys get treated better by thin women. Its been my experience that thin women (probably because they have more experience and in many cases better self-esteem) are much more diplomatic when it comes to rejecting guys. Conversely, I've seen fat women blow off fat guys without doing anything to sugar coat the rejection (and this is at BBW events that are supposed to be size friendly).

Oddly enough I've had the same interactions but reversed. Thin/average guys are usually the ONLY guys that flirt with me, like ever. Despite the fact that, when I was single, I used to attempt to talk to their bigger counterparts. It's like fat guys, and I'm not even talking guys in the 300s but once they hit say 215ish, go out of their way not to flirt or even be seen talking to me. It's like they HAVE to break the stigma of "I'm a fat guys so I belong with a fat chick" thing that society seems to think. They have this "Don't be seen talking to the fat girl!" attitude. I find they tend to blatantly ignore me, even once they know I have a boyfriend and am not interested in them at all. Just an odd phenomenon I've noticed and that makes me pretty sad

Oh and to answer the thread, I think I might have one cousin who's an FA. His gf now wife went from like 160 to probably about 280 in their time together and he's very much in love with her. It's really cute. He's the only example I can think of from my family. I don't think my younger brother is at all, ditto my parents.
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Old 12-08-2012, 06:31 AM   #22
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Every time I talk about this I get flak but here goes again. Its been my experience that most BBW events are not very welcoming to fat guys and also that many fat women are not at all interested in fat guys. So its not at all surprising that many fat guys don't pursue fat women. Its self-preservation, rejection sucks, therefore, you avoid the demographic that has rejected you.

Its really ironic but fat guys get treated better by thin women. Its been my experience that thin women (probably because they have more experience and in many cases better self-esteem) are much more diplomatic when it comes to rejecting guys. Conversely, I've seen fat women blow off fat guys without doing anything to sugar coat the rejection (and this is at BBW events that are supposed to be size friendly).
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Oddly enough I've had the same interactions but reversed. Thin/average guys are usually the ONLY guys that flirt with me, like ever. Despite the fact that, when I was single, I used to attempt to talk to their bigger counterparts. It's like fat guys, and I'm not even talking guys in the 300s but once they hit say 215ish, go out of their way not to flirt or even be seen talking to me. It's like they HAVE to break the stigma of "I'm a fat guys so I belong with a fat chick" thing that society seems to think. They have this "Don't be seen talking to the fat girl!" attitude. I find they tend to blatantly ignore me, even once they know I have a boyfriend and am not interested in them at all. Just an odd phenomenon I've noticed and that makes me pretty sad
From my experience you're both right.

It resembles the like poles of a magnet repelling each other (... while the opposites attract). Both fat men and women have mostly been conditioned by negativity, making defenses almost automatically go up, often producing less than graceful social responses.

You've mentioned the underlying social expectation that fat people should settle for each other - and don't we all want to defy society's negative expectations?

Also- the self-esteem issues with being fat ... if you already have them yourself ... do you want to deal with them in a partner? (The 'we're in the same boat' philosophy doesn't seem to do much for relationships in the making ....)

Last but not least - because of the defenses .... many fat women and men might not fully notice if someone is really interested, and react in a way that seems rejecting.
I know I'm frequently guilty of the latter - friends have pointed out to me that 'so-and-so seemed really in to you ... what did you tell him..?' making me notice in hindsight I hadn't responded at all or been rejecting because I doubted what was going on.


To the title theme of the thread - if many people in your family are fat, then you're almost naturally going to have a more accepting environment. What's frequent is the norm in any social context...
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:13 AM   #23
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From my experience you're both right.
To the title theme of the thread - if many people in your family are fat, then you're almost naturally going to have a more accepting environment. What's frequent is the norm in any social context...
True...but I have three body-builders and two personal trainers in my family and my FA brother is a jock, lol. I have an aunt who actually ended up marrying a really large guy, but there's barely anyone in my family who even qualifies as overweight.
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Old 12-08-2012, 09:23 PM   #24
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I have both suspicions and confirmations on this topic.

As far as my mother's side goes: my grandmother was always very large. She's slimmed down in her older age but when I was too young to know any better, I once straight up called her fat. But it always had me wondering if my grandfather was an FA or if he just happened to marry a chubby woman. He wasn't the nicest man, so conversations like these weren't ever really possible.

My older cousin (son of my mom's sister) married a woman that went from about 180lbs to maybe 300. They're still happily married. Again, not sure if they're in a WG/feederism relationship or if that was just marriage doing what it does best.

When my younger cousin (daughter of my mom's brother) was barely 5-years-old, she stuffed Easter candy in her pants and pretended it made her fat. She also took a special interest in my large stuffed bear that had an especially large belly. But she's now in college and dating a really skinny guy, so maybe I was reading too deep into it.

As for my father's side: my grandmother really started to put on weight in the past ten years or so, but at a recent gathering, she kept going on and on about how the women in my grandfather's "magazines" were bigger than she was. It was very "T-M-I" but also quite telling to someone that is fascinated by the nature of attraction and how deep it runs.

So yeah, I guess my one confirmation would be my dad's dad, who apparently has BBW magazines (my grandmother can't be much less than 300). But not wanting to talk to my family about things like these, I guess I'll never know for sure. Lots of conjecture.

But I want to say I have at least three FA's in the fam. It's got one FA at the VERY least, that's for sure.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:56 PM   #25
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I don't believe FA-ness runs in my family, but I never really asked. I don't ask my family a lot about their sex lives (well not since I took that Human Sexuality class a few years back).
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