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Old 01-10-2013, 10:36 AM   #26
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Of course its a performance... Ok, after you are with someone for a while and have developed a relationship then it turns into the beautiful act of love making yada yada yada but if you are into that person and u want to be able to reach that level with said person then you better preform... cause I dont give a shit how great your personality is if you are a shitty lay and dont bring it in the bedroom you are not getting the chance to be in that great relationship that only follows great set up sex...then after that you can tone it down...not every at bat is a home run but you make sure the first few times up you are Barry Fucking Bonds
hmmm actually "performing" with some people could be the worse thing that can be done. i think what makes things stick is when someone is real and can give and honest piece of themselves. since it's not such a big deal to have sex where lots of people can manage to give someone an orgasm it's the connection they're after. i know a lot of people who've had a decent to great sexual experiences and an orgasm, or two or three with a technically astute partner but wasn't at all interested in ever seeing the person again because there was no emotion and nothing special to bring them back unless it was to mark time and have their maintenance done well until they found what they really wanted.

plenty of people don't have had head splitting sex the first time out but feel emotionally close and were willing to take the time to get to know one another's bodies better. but people who won't give someone the time of day just because their high points weren't hit right off the bat is probably not into that person anyway. nobody has to spend all of that time convincing someone or getting their attention if that person is actually interested in them.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:17 PM   #27
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Of course its a performance... Ok, after you are with someone for a while and have developed a relationship then it turns into the beautiful act of love making yada yada yada but if you are into that person and u want to be able to reach that level with said person then you better preform... cause I dont give a shit how great your personality is if you are a shitty lay and dont bring it in the bedroom you are not getting the chance to be in that great relationship that only follows great set up sex...then after that you can tone it down...not every at bat is a home run but you make sure the first few times up you are Barry Fucking Bonds
Fonz, from what I've read about the effects of steroids, I don't think Barry is swinging much of a bat when he tries to get around the bases in the bedroom. He's probably not a hall of famer there, either...
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:17 PM   #28
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:23 PM   #29
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it may not be a performance, but your performance in bed sure counts a lot on how the relationship will progress.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:42 PM   #30
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it may not be a performance, but your performance in bed sure counts a lot on how the relationship will progress.
everyone wants to have good sex but on it's own it's just not enough. could be for someone just starting out who is just anxious to have sex but after you've had it you want everything that goes with.

actually more than anything it's the anxiety and the trying too hard that tends to make it bad sex and makes people have performance anxiety. i think that is the point i was trying to get at. a really good experience doesn't equal stress.
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Old 01-12-2013, 08:04 PM   #31
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Fonz, from what I've read about the effects of steroids, I don't think Barry is swinging much of a bat when he tries to get around the bases in the bedroom. He's probably not a hall of famer there, either...
Steroids shrink testicles, not penis' so I think he's safe either way.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:04 AM   #32
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Steroids shrink testicles, not penis' so I think he's safe either way.
That's a little nuts.
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Old 01-14-2013, 06:59 PM   #33
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I see what some are saying, if I am very much in love with the person, I put in more energy into the sex. I guess you can say that one performs his or her best when he or she really wants to impress that person. Sex is surely the best when you are really digging that person. Then it's like the chicken or egg question, is my performance good and natural because I like that person? Or is it that I like this person so much therefore my performance is good?
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:01 PM   #34
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I see what some are saying, if I am very much in love with the person, I put in more energy into the sex. I guess you can say that one performs his or her best when he or she really wants to impress that person. Sex is surely the best when you are really digging that person. Then it's like the chicken or egg question, is my performance good and natural because I like that person? Or is it that I like this person so much therefore my performance is good?
Exactly
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:26 PM   #35
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I see what some are saying, if I am very much in love with the person, I put in more energy into the sex. I guess you can say that one performs his or her best when he or she really wants to impress that person. Sex is surely the best when you are really digging that person. Then it's like the chicken or egg question, is my performance good and natural because I like that person? Or is it that I like this person so much therefore my performance is good?
it's great to want to please someone and be in love but you also need to ask yourself if that other person is so much more important than you are in your own mind that you are not able to relax and be truly intimate so that you don't have to focus so much on performance. can you just enjoy being together, have the flow of that work and know that will be enough and satisfying to the other person? does a person have the ability to be in the moment and enjoy what comes without all the planning choreography and faux sexual certainty? or is more important to focus on technical competency or potential rejection? in other words, can they just relax,enjoy it and believe the other person wants them too? the writer is just saying "it's alright, i want you".

i think what the writer is saying is that "performance" is for a fast car, a machine or the stage and not for two people who are trying to be truly intimate. anybody can do sex but not too any people are able to do intimacy--which is what the writer is asking for. the writer is asking to put the stress and the worry aside because you are already what the writer wants. you are already enough whether you can give the an orgasm or not, whether you have the moves or not. i think that's really affirming.
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