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Fat chicks: a magnet for creeps?

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Alzison

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Mar 12, 2011
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So something kind of upsetting happened to me today and I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I had a nice morning, brunch with friends, then went to read outside for a few hours. Eventually, I decided to take a walk and stopped at a nearby used bookstore. The place was very small, and I quickly moved to the back of the store to peruse the fiction section. Immediately after turning the corner of the far bookcase, I was face-to-face with a guy I recognized from the park where I had been reading. I was listening to music and started walking away, but he waved at me to take off my headphones. My thought was that I just wanted to get rid of the guy and do so as quickly and calmly as possible, so I stopped and asked him what he wanted. "I don't want to say this too loud, but I wanted to tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking of this story. I follow you here from the park. And then we have an intimate conversation and- do you get what I'm saying?" I said "well, you just said you followed me here, so I get that that is pretty damn creepy." "No, I'm just sharing this thought I had. It's like... it's like foreplay... I follow you here, we have this intimate conversation and then... 'dot dot dot.' Do you get what I'm saying?" "Yeah," I said, "and it's not gonna happen." He told me he had to "take a leak" and soon left the store and I went up to the front desk to tell them about the dude and warn them not to let him back inside. Pretty much immediately, I took off and got as far away from that neighborhood as I could. OK, I walked a few blocks to a hat store and tried to find refuge in the floppy bonnets. Still!

The following me made me feel pretty violated, not to mention the fact that he admitted it to me as some sort of seduction technique. And it got me thinking. This was a particularly disturbing and upsetting scenario but, truthfully, not a rare one. I've talked to thin friends who are amazed at the volume completely creepy things people say and do to me. It's more than just staring or winking, I've been followed off the train multiple times, passed notes, men have grabbed me, asked me to take them home with me (a serious request), tried to kiss me or ask me to show them my breasts, they call after me and get verbally abusive if I just walk away or try to ignore it. But really, what do these guys think they are going to accomplish by behaving like this? Do you think that coming after me in a subway station and following me up the stairs will lead to me running back to your place to sleep with you? I don't think I get hit on more than my skinny friends or because I'm some exceptionally hot piece, but this latest experience has me wondering if men feel like, because I'm fat, I'm more likely to be receptive to these completely inappropriate and disgusting advances. It's insulting on so many levels and, frankly, couldn't be further from the truth.

A friend of mine, formerly a size 16 (and now much smaller), also made a comment to me about how "fat girls are much sluttier because they are so insecure" and how so many of her fat friends slept around "to feel better about themselves." This was said as if coming from a good place and to explain the way men react to women like me. So clearly, the misconception goes beyond just the creepy men themselves.

Thoughts?
 

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