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BBW modeling made me feel like crap

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AbbyJoyful

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Don't know why I open this topic - maybe to warn other women who consider BBW/fetish modeling, maybe just because I want to share my story and what could happen when you do BBW modeling.

I used to hate my body, when I was younger. Finally I ended up visiting BBW parties, looking at pictures of hot BBWs like PlumpPrincess, Mandy Blake and Beccabae. Step by step I started to like my own body and I learned to love it eventually.

When I met my ex, it got better and better. He loved BBWs and told me almost every day how beautiful I was. He made great pictures of me and told me all the time I should do BBW modeling for BigCuties. I liked the idea very much, and after months of consideration, I took the plunge and mailed BigCuties. They were interested in me for some guest modeling, but not to be a "real" BigCutie. I was disappointed and thought, well, I'm just not pretty enough. I knew my face wasn't that pretty as the other girls on BigCuties, and also I wasn't that young anymore (most guys seem to be interested in teenage girls or women in their early 20s, not in someone almost 30 lol)

Still I wanted to do BBW modeling and I searched for various options. Eventually I found a great company that design websites for BBW. So I mailed them, and a few months later my own paysite was in the air. How proud I was!

I started to promote my site in BBW communities and forums. I arranged some members, but not very much. I didn't receive much positive respons on my promotion comps, very often I didn't receive respons at all. I started to doubt, what did I do wrong? Other BBW models got lots of comments, and lots of people looked at my topics, but almost no one responded.

Finally I ended BBW modeling for another reason (some people found out about it and it got me in trouble) but I felt like absolute crap. Worthless, ugly, old, not good enough. I thought before I was pretty, but that changed a lot. I can't stand myself anymore when I look in the mirror. I feel a bit depressed, and ugly most of the time. I learned a lot from my very short adventure in BBW-paysite land, but NEVER EVER again :eek:
 
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