One Day at the State Fair
SSBHM, ~BBW
SSBHM, ~BBW
I had joined my businesswoman wife on a business trip to Raleigh, North Carolina and our visit just happened to coincide with the North Carolina State Fair. She had a free day between meetings and suggested that we spend the day grazing around the fairgrounds. She reminded me of all the fattening fried foods usually found at fairs -- fried twinkees, Snickers, cheesecake, ice cream, mac and cheese, you name it. Plus the giant turkey legs and barbeque and foot long hot dogs ...
She had me at fried twinkees!
You see, I'm fat. Not just a little bit, but a quarter ton of blubber, actually more than that. When we met, she was the fat one, 250 pounds of beauty, a big busty girl with an awesome booty too. And she was tall -- 5'10", the same height as me -- so she carried it well. I was a comparatively scrawny 175 pounds then but broad shouldered and big boned, just the kind of body to pack more pounds onto, a lot more pounds.
I loved being on top of her big sexy bod and the lovemaking was great. But over twenty years of marriage we had definitely switched places! I was up to 200 pounds at the time of our marriage with a respectable pot belly, moobs, and love handles. But over time, I had averaged over 15 pounds of gain annually (and more like 20 pounds over the last few years), whereas her annual gain was only about four pounds.
The result was that she was a beautiful 330 pounds, which when spread over her long frame produced an Amazonian beauty who still turned men's heads. I, on the other hand, had long since crossed the 500 pound mark and hadn't been able to climb on top of Hilda in three or four years. In fact, I climbed on the scale for her before we left for Raleigh and the read out was a whopping 561 pounds! Fortunately, she had insisted over the years that I continue to get exercise so that I could still get around OK even with all my vast tonnage (I could actually walk about a mile before getting overly tired).
After a big breakfast at the hotel buffet and a similarly sized mid-morning snack at a nearby diner, we caught a cab to the fairgrounds and arrived around 11:30, just in time for lunch. We caught a ride on a tractor-pulled trolley that dropped us at the edge of the midway where all the food vendors were located one after the other. The smell of all the Italian sausages and fried foods is offputting to many, but it was such a sweet aroma to me and immediately made me hungry. And Hilda's appetite, which was normally restrained nowadays, seemed to get pretty amped up too!
We decided to get a little protein first and quickly found the vendor selling the huge turkey legs. We went to sit down at a nearby picnic table and I made the mistake of sitting down first on the end of an empty bench, sending the other end flying into the air under all my weight and sending me toppling to the ground! Fortunately, since it was a little before the lunch rush not too many people viewed the affair and there were only a few chuckles and comments like "what a fatty." Hilda laughed hardest of all and told me "you just don't realize how big you are, do you?" Then she and a couple of fair workers struggled to help get me to my feet. Fortunately, I had kept a strong grip of my turkey leg during my spill so it didn't hit the pavement (and I was even able to take a few bites while on the ground!).
Once finished with the turkey leg, I spotted the tent run by the state agricultural college which was offering some delicious-smelling barbecued chicken and pork. While I sat at a table, in a folding chair that looked like it would collapse under my weight, Hilda went and fetched me a chicken breast plate and a pulled pork plate. The barbecue tasted as good as it smelled and it was all gone in about 10 minutes. Then, the ag school's dairy department was running an ice cream operation right next door and Hilda fetched us both double-decker cones. It was the perfect top-off to the barbecue and turkey legs!
After that, we had to sit for about fifteen minutes before moving on down the midway. But when we got going, we did so in earnest! In the course of about 90 minutes, we snacked on a veritable cornucopia of fried junk food -- Mac and Cheese (delicious), Twinkees (wondrous), Snickers (even better), cheesecake (OK), funnel cakes (a State Fair classic), fried Cola (a new and outstanding treat for both of us), and finally some fried ice cream to cleanse our pallets. Fortunately there were picnic tables everywhere so I could rest my legs at each stop and I had a remarkable amount of energy by the time we finished our eatscapade.
Literally five minutes after finishing the fried ice cream, we heard an announcement over the PA system that the Big Belly Contest would begin at 2 p.m. Hilda looked at me and I looked at her and we both knew that I was made for that event! Fortunately, the tent where the event was being held was situated at the edge of food midway so it was a short walk for us on our bloated bellies. When we walked up to the entrance to the tent, the attendant literally gasped at how big I was and said "no offense dude, but I think we've got our winner here."
"No offense taken" Hilda said, "where do we sign this fatty up?" The attendent showed us in and led me over to side where the contest announcer was sitting. His reaction was much the same, then he quickly scurried off for reasons unknown to me.
The competition began twenty minutes later and ten of us big guys were paraded up on stage, ranging from some pretty scrawny 250 pounders up to me and a couple of other guys who looked like they may have been in striking distance of my weight. I guessed that one was about 450 pounds and the other might have been as much as 500 pounds, but it was hard to tell. We had all taken our shirts off and most of the guys' bellies were already hanging over their waistbands, but I didn't like that look and always wore slacks big enough to fit around my belly, so I had pulled my waistband down under my overhang and tightened my belt all the way to keep my slacks from falling down to my ankles.
The announcer introduced each of us and had us put on a little show, lifting and dropping our bellies, bouncing our moobs up and down, etc., which got a lot of applause from the audience. It was hard to tell, but I thought I and the "500 pound guy" got the most applause. My floppy moobs seemed to get a lot of attention, with one lady in the audience yelling that they "must weigh 50 pounds each!" Another lady yelled "can you reach your dick under all that blubber?" I could see Hilda in the audience laughing uncontrollably and I got a kick out of it too!
Then an attractive young fair attendent wearing a very revealing bikini went from man to man with a 72-inch measuring tape. It was more than sufficient for everyone, even 450 pound man, until she got to 500 pound man and me. She had to get the woman who was taking tickets up on the stage to help her and wrapped the 72-inch tape around as far as it would go and the ticket taker took a 36-inch tape to measure the gap. 500 pound man turned out to have a 77-inch waist, then when it was my turn they measured my waist at 80 inches for the win! A girl got on either side of me and started jiggling my moobs and belly rolls and the audience went wild!
I won $250, which I figured could fund another run down the food midway for Hilda and me. But then, the announcer came up on the stage with a man who looked like he might be in management. Manager man apologized for the trouble and went into an explanation that the fair's side show fat man had taken ill suddenly and wouldn't be available that night. I got a big grin on my face contemplating what he would say next and waved Hilda up to the stage to join us. When she arrived, manager man finally got to the point and asked if I could come back at 6 that night and fill in for the fat man until 10 -- "we don't know where to find anyone .... uhm ... of your size (then Hilda said "anyone as fat you mean") on such short notice and you'd be doing us a huge favor and we' be willing to pay you $100 an hour for your trouble ... and ..." Hilda interuppted him and said "he'll do it!"
The act required me to wear a glorified jock strap that covered only my private parts (which no one could have seen anyway!), parade around the stage a little, and sit on my ass so that the audience could ogle and hurl insults at me for four half-hour acts beginning on each hour. I hammed it up for them as I imagined a fat porn star might, shaking my moobs and belly liberally and I even enlisted Hilda into the act. They found a bikini that would fit her sexy curves and she slapped me on the ass, played with my titties, and wobbled my belly up and down. My favorite was when she would lift my floppy hooters and fondle and kiss them, then put them into my mouth since they were that big! With techniques like that, the audience fell in love with her and she got lots of catcalls from the guys, while I even got a few marriage proposals from the women in the audience (to which Hilda yelled back "he's mine, all mine!" and flashed her big wedding ring). All in all, I think the audiences definitely got their money's worth from the two of us!
We were both exhausted when we arrived back at our hotel around midnight, but had experienced quite the fun day at the fair. We went to bed immediately and before drifting off Hilda nibbled at my double chin and said very sexily "in a couple of hours I'm going to wake you up so you can take care of one of the items on my bucket list." "What's that" I asked. "To be ***ed by a side show fat man!"
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