20's dating 30's

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aztecprinc3ss

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I am a 21yo ssbbw and I find guys my age lack certain things like maturity and patience. Guys in their early-to-mid-thirties seem to have the right stuff. Just an opinion, but what does everyone else think? what age appeals more?
 

KHayes666

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I said in a similar thread that most guys in their late teens and early 20's should be focusing on when their next party is, the next hot video game that's coming out, getting their drivers license and waking up for class on time.

They shouldn't be worrying about getting married, having children and paying for homeowner's insurance. Women of any age really that expect young men to act with the maturity of a 30 plus year old is really asking for too much.
 

bigmac

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Early to mid 30s is prime time for dating. I dated women in their mid 30 when I was in my 20s. Spent most of my 30s living with a woman also in her 30s. Then at age 43 I married a 36 year old woman.
 

Deven

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My husband (we're still engaged, but it's become habit to call him that) is 32, and I'm 24. He wants to settle down and enjoys together time with me, and is very future conscious. The guys in their 20's I dated are not like that.

It's also a stark contrast to the same man I knew 7 years ago. He was 24 when we met, I was 17. We weren't dating each other, just roommates (he had a live in girlfriend.) He's matured, and I can see the difference in him now and then.

If a man in his early 30's is what you want, go for it.
 

thatgirl08

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I find that I connect better with guys that are a little older than me. I'm 21 and the last guy I was involved with was 29. Although we joked about the age difference a lot (he liked to poke fun at me for not knowing the cartoons and games and music of his childhood) I felt we connected better because of the age difference. One major thing older guys have that most guys my age don't is independence. I live on my own and haven't lived with my parents in nearly two years and find it really difficult to have a relationship with someone who hasn't made that change yet. It's nice to be able to go to each others places without worrying about parents, and there is also a personality change, a maturation, that only comes with moving away from home. I've come to realize that's a pretty important characteristic to me in a person. It's not a deal breaker but it certainly helps.
 

KHayes666

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This is why I was very resentful of women when I was 18-21.....notice how nearly every single female poster on this thread wants more maturity, independence, stability, etc which is why they gravitate toward older men?

Basically that leaves anyone that lives at home, doesn't have a great job or a lot of dating experience is totally fucked....which for most college aged males means just about everyone.

If everyone likes older men because of the before mentioned reasons then what the hell are 18-21 year olds supposed to do around here? Twiddle their thumbs for 4-5 years until they have the financial ability to move out? In THIS economy? Fuck that

Sorry if I sound defensive and a little angry but like I said, I've been there before. I know what its like to be rejected because of my age and it makes me want to smash my head up against a brick wall when I see college aged girls expecting complete independence from boys who just barely got their drivers license and are putting themselves through school. You know the expression act your age, well some males are doing exactly that and it sucks to see them get rejected for it.
 

CarlaSixx

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I'm one of those that like older men.

Honestly, I feel cougarish when I find myself attracted to anyone under 28. I've just always liked older guys, even when I was younger. And the older I get, it seems the older I'm starting to like. It's not my fault, it's how I was wired.

Now, if some young dude has a problem with that, he can go throw a tantrum somewhere else. Obviously, if they've got a problem with me liking someone else, they aren't mature enough to handle me in the first place.

But maturity isn't all there is.

I value intelligence, life experience, talent, etc. Young people, for the most part, don't have that. At least not in my area. I have been attracted to people in their 20s who were, so it's not like I make it exclusive for older men. It's just a preference.
 

NewfieGal

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I know this is the 20's group but I want to ask a question... if you were a man in your 20's would you date a woman that much older then you? It just seems less accepted when the woman is older... I am 31 and was chatted up by someone in their mid 20s that lives near me and I know that its not a big age gap but it seems less acceptable to be a woman dating a younger man... any opinions?
 

bmann0413

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Honestly, I'd be too intimidated if the girl I'm interested in is much older than I am. I'm kinda immature (yeah, I'll admit to it to her straight up), and I feel as though when I'm not being mature, I'll embarrass her too much.

The youngest I'll date would be 18, since I'm 22. But even then, I'd kinda be feeling like I'm robbing the cradle, even if the age difference is only four years. It's a very perplexing conundrum.
 

Diana_Prince245

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I'm in my 30s. I date guys in their 20s, and I like it. Course I've never really been interested in men older than me, not even in my late teens-early 20s.
 

home

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I guess I know how the women feel. I admit that when I was in High School. I was sixteen and dating a fourteen year old. Back then it was Legal in Canada. That was long ago. And of course. Nothing really happened. After I got to my twenties though. I started to be with older women. I lived with two of them. They were older and both mothers. No, I don't mean in the swear vernacular. I mean they both had children. So, I was in my twenties and they were thirty to fourty. Now, I am in my thirties. I must admit I do feel for the guy who is talking about it. I mean in this economy money is hard to come by. But then again, I have to admit. Once you get there. Once you have the money. The women just come out of left field. And not always the good ones.
 

thatgirl08

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This is why I was very resentful of women when I was 18-21.....notice how nearly every single female poster on this thread wants more maturity, independence, stability, etc which is why they gravitate toward older men?

Basically that leaves anyone that lives at home, doesn't have a great job or a lot of dating experience is totally fucked....which for most college aged males means just about everyone.

If everyone likes older men because of the before mentioned reasons then what the hell are 18-21 year olds supposed to do around here? Twiddle their thumbs for 4-5 years until they have the financial ability to move out? In THIS economy? Fuck that

Sorry if I sound defensive and a little angry but like I said, I've been there before. I know what its like to be rejected because of my age and it makes me want to smash my head up against a brick wall when I see college aged girls expecting complete independence from boys who just barely got their drivers license and are putting themselves through school. You know the expression act your age, well some males are doing exactly that and it sucks to see them get rejected for it.
The economy is tough for everyone regardless of age or gender. Despite the economy I was still able to find a job (at times, more than one), go to school, buy a car, and move out on my own at the age of 19. It's possible. Is it easy? Absolutely not. It's been a lot of sacrifice. My friends who live at home have ten times as many clothes in their closet and all the newest gadgets and they can stay up til 3AM on a Tuesday getting drunk because they don't have to work the next morning like I do.. but they also don't have the independence, the freedom, the life experience and the maturity I do. I couldn't be with a guy who was working some dead end job and living with his parents, even if he was only 19 or 20. I'd be willing to make an exception about living on his own and such if he was in college (especially if he was living on campus rather than commuting) and had a plan for what he was going to do with his life. It's not that I think less of those who are not in the same place as me, it's just that those are two incompatible lifestyles. In my experience it's really frustrating for me to try to explain to people who haven't gained that same independence yet why I can't do certain things, why I can't spend as much money, why I have to be home early sometimes, or why sometimes I'm just too tired and want to veg out and do nothing. It's appears to be equally frustrating for them because I'm a drag. I just couldn't imagine the disparity in lifestyle leading to a successful relationship.
 

Blackhawk2293

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This is why I was very resentful of women when I was 18-21.....notice how nearly every single female poster on this thread wants more maturity, independence, stability, etc which is why they gravitate toward older men?

Basically that leaves anyone that lives at home, doesn't have a great job or a lot of dating experience is totally fucked....which for most college aged males means just about everyone.

If everyone likes older men because of the before mentioned reasons then what the hell are 18-21 year olds supposed to do around here? Twiddle their thumbs for 4-5 years until they have the financial ability to move out? In THIS economy? Fuck that

Sorry if I sound defensive and a little angry but like I said, I've been there before. I know what its like to be rejected because of my age and it makes me want to smash my head up against a brick wall when I see college aged girls expecting complete independence from boys who just barely got their drivers license and are putting themselves through school. You know the expression act your age, well some males are doing exactly that and it sucks to see them get rejected for it.
I'll probably sound quite crude to some here but...

18-21 year old men are meant to fuck like there's no tomorrow and go for the girls that aren't expecting commitment, independence, stability etc... and yes there are such girls, I knew quite a few wild and wonderful ladies in my 20s. My friends and I used to call this rule the "4 F's"... "find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em, forget 'em". I think a lot of people in their 20s expect too much too soon and get trapped in a belief that if they're not on the road to be married by 25 then they're doomed to an eternity of being alone or becoming a eunuch or something and I've seen quite a few of my friends (guys and girls) get trapped in bad relationships because of it.

I do agree with some of the girls in this thread that independence does go a long way in the 20s dating scene because independence means privacy and privacy means there is better opportunity for intimacy. I mean come on guys, there are just some things you can't do in your parents' house.
 

CarlaSixx

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**snipped**

I do agree with some of the girls in this thread that independence does go a long way in the 20s dating scene because independence means privacy and privacy means there is better opportunity for intimacy. I mean come on guys, there are just some things you can't do in your parents' house.
:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:

Hello! There's one hell of a big bonus!

lol.

:happy:
 

KHayes666

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I do agree with some of the girls in this thread that independence does go a long way in the 20s dating scene because independence means privacy and privacy means there is better opportunity for intimacy. I mean come on guys, there are just some things you can't do in your parents' house.
Not if you're good enough and have their schedules down pat. They're not home 24 hours a day you know :)

I get your point but for the most part what bothers is me is all these women don't even give the 18-21 year olds a chance to prove themselves. Sure they have absolutely no experience but they have to start somewhere. I remember reading in a similar thread years ago how some women don't want to be that "babysitter" type but my counter is some of them that were dismissed without getting the chance later went on to have successful relationships while some of their older dismissors (is that even a word?) are still single.
 

LillyBBBW

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Haha! You just remeinded me of the story of Mary Magdalene Collier, the woman found naked in a 16 year old's closet while moms was at work. Mom came home early and called police.



A thread about this on another board I belong to got closed down. lol The story sticks out. Ok granted the boy was only 16 and not 19 but still... Nobody wants to be this woman. It's a tall order.
 

Blackhawk2293

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Not if you're good enough and have their schedules down pat. They're not home 24 hours a day you know :)

I get your point but for the most part what bothers is me is all these women don't even give the 18-21 year olds a chance to prove themselves. Sure they have absolutely no experience but they have to start somewhere. I remember reading in a similar thread years ago how some women don't want to be that "babysitter" type but my counter is some of them that were dismissed without getting the chance later went on to have successful relationships while some of their older dismissors (is that even a word?) are still single.
I never had the experience of having to evade my parents like that because I left home on my 19th birthday and moved 400 miles from them. But that's a long story in itself.

Anyway, I can understand your point too about not being given the chance to "prove yourself"... although I absolutely hate that term! Sure 18-21 year old guys have something to prove... but so do women of that age group. What each gender have to prove is different of course but 20s is like the proving age. Whether that is proving that you can hold a job, keep a relationship for more than 2 months (something I still fail at! LOL!!), be good in bed, graduate from college or whatever. I think that both genders have really unrealistic expectations of each other at that age and so thus where the conflict is.
 

KHayes666

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I never had the experience of having to evade my parents like that because I left home on my 19th birthday and moved 400 miles from them. But that's a long story in itself.

Anyway, I can understand your point too about not being given the chance to "prove yourself"... although I absolutely hate that term! Sure 18-21 year old guys have something to prove... but so do women of that age group. What each gender have to prove is different of course but 20s is like the proving age. Whether that is proving that you can hold a job, keep a relationship for more than 2 months (something I still fail at! LOL!!), be good in bed, graduate from college or whatever. I think that both genders have really unrealistic expectations of each other at that age and so thus where the conflict is.
It all works out in the end.

Like I said, some of us who suffered through our late teens and early 20's with being rejected and passed over end up in successful long term relationships while others who never gave us the chance are still single in their late 20's and early 30's. Karma does indeed work sometime.

Oh and congrats on the people that got the hell out of dodge when they were 18-19, some of us weren't so lucky and had to make due for a few years. If a woman thinks a guy is a second class citizen because he's 19 years old and still lives with his parents, she's no better than any male who points out negatives on a woman's body.
 

thatgirl08

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Oh and congrats on the people that got the hell out of dodge when they were 18-19, some of us weren't so lucky and had to make due for a few years. If a woman thinks a guy is a second class citizen because he's 19 years old and still lives with his parents, she's no better than any male who points out negatives on a woman's body.
The thing is that luck had nothing to do with it. Taking risks, working hard and sacrificing did. Just because a woman isn't interested in dating someone doesn't mean she thinks he's a second class citizen. I dont know about everyone else but I'm sick of hearing about how women are supposed to act or feel about men. Rejection is a fact of life and doesn't make the person doing the rejecting a bad person. Women are allowed preferences too.
 

KHayes666

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The thing is that luck had nothing to do with it. Taking risks, working hard and sacrificing did. Just because a woman isn't interested in dating someone doesn't mean she thinks he's a second class citizen. I dont know about everyone else but I'm sick of hearing about how women are supposed to act or feel about men. Rejection is a fact of life and doesn't make the person doing the rejecting a bad person. Women are allowed preferences too.
Luck has a lot to do with it maybe just not in ways you are thinking about. What if an 18 year old kid found a good job and moved in with her b/f who was paying half the rent and the b/f got hit by a truck? What if the 18 year old kid got hit by a bus and had to move back home because she couldn't afford medical bills and rent at the same time? What if the 18 year old loses her job or the b/f loses his job? Sure its risk taking to move out but luck is one of the reasons why it works out for some.

Second part. Depends on why they did the rejecting and how they acted toward that person later. I agree on your last point too, women are definitely allowed preferences and I also think its karma when men reject a girl and end up single as well. An ex friend of mine broke up with his g/f because she wouldn't let him touch her and 5 years later she was married to another guy who had the patience meanwhile my buddy still cruises bars to pick up girls. It goes both ways and I didn't mean to sound discriminating toward women at all. Now if a woman was being hit on by an extreme psychopath or someone they didn't connect with at all, its perfectly reasonable to reject the advances.

No, what I'M talking about is a situation that a lot of guys are familiar with. You know, your female friend bitching and complaining endlessly that they "can't find a good b/f" and go on one bad date after another plus you gotta listen to her about each disaster till 3 in the god damn morning. Then when you say that you yourself would make a good b/f they give the old "Like you but not that much" speech then continue to date losers, abusers and other lowlives. THAT'S when karma comes into play when you're finally given the chance by someone else and meanwhile your "friend" who passed you over is still single. Ask any guy who's been there and wanted to throw the keyboard or phone out the window because a girl they wanted won't stop bitching about how awful guys treat her yet won't give them a chance.

I'm friends with some women who've rejected me in the past and I respect them greatly....others not so much. I get a good laugh every now and then when I hear some get evicted or their unemployment was cut off or their baby daddy is in jail again or they got stood up on a date.
 
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