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thatgirl08

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Ugh, I don't know. It's still just really awkward for me. I'll be elbow deep in the middle of some tangle and my phone goes 'blrr*beep*' I'm I'm thinking omg WHO the hell is texting me right now?!?! It may just be an age thing. It's still not in my radar of dexterity.
Hey, to each their own! It probably is partially age although I know plenty of people my age who actually hate texting and I also know people who are your age & older - such as my parents - who text nearly as much as I do!

I do call people if I have a pressing question or if something is too complicated/long of a story but everything else I text.
 

thatgirl08

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I don't think it's fair to imply people who end up cycling back to home for a spell didn't take risk, work hard, or sacrificed, but I agree with the rest of your post.
You're right, that absolutely does not imply that.. I think the difference is in the "cycling BACK home" as opposed to never attempting to leave. It's not even that I think that there is something wrong with people my age who don't try to leave home - their is DEFINITE perks to living with your parents.. it's just that those people & I have different priorities. That doesn't make them (or me!) wrong .. it just makes us incompatible to an extent. I'm not saying I automatically rule someone out, romantically or for friendship, solely based on that.. I just find that I naturally tend to gravitate towards people who are more independent.. I usually end up connecting better with people, friendship wise even, who are older than me. Two of my closest friends are 23 and 29. My other best friend is the same age as me but is also my roommate. It's also possible for someone to live at home and be nearly as independent as I am.. emotional independence is the biggest thing for me. I can deal with financial dependence to an extent (you still gotta be working if we're going to be dating!) but if someone is still very emotionally reliant on their parents or if they constantly look to their parents to make their decisions for them or for permission to do things, we simply are not compatible. I dated someone about a year ago who was three years older than me, who even paid a little bit of rent, like $200 a month, and had his own car and everything and therefore was somewhat financially independent (although clearly it costs much more than $200 to live on your own) but he couldn't fix a meal or do his laundry or make a single decision without his mom. It was incredibly frustrating. I also dated someone who was 17 when I was 18.. I was just starting college and he was a senior in high school but we were incredibly different. My parents had a very hands-off approach even when I was like 14 or 15. Some people might venture to call them irresponsible, although my parents always made sure I did well in school and provided everything I needed financially. I lived with my dad at the time I dated this guy and didn't have to ask for permission to do anything. I came and went as I pleased, just let my dad know where I was. I paid no rent but was entirely responsible for all of my other expenses.. I'm talking like, at the end of high school I was buying my own groceries and making payments on my car etc. Despite being only a year difference, his parents wouldn't even let him drive more than 15 minutes from his house, they didn't want us staying out past dark and they were entirely uncomfortable with my parents approach to parenting (or lack there of, possibly) me. It was like.. two different worlds. My parents hadn't been that up in my business since I was in junior high probably. It just made it so difficult because his parents didn't like me or my parents whatsoever. They saw me as a loose cannon and irresponsible. I saw them as smothering him. It in large part crushed the relationship despite the fact that I was in love with him.

My current boyfriend is turning 29 in a few weeks, and I just turned 21. We joke about the age.. sometimes he mentions toys or cartoons from the 80s I've never seen, and he pokes fun at me & my friends pictures and comments from high school on Facebook (so weird to think social networking didn't even really exist when he was in high school!) But overall, we're so much closer in maturity. He has a nice car, he owns his own house and has a full time job (and therefore money to blow on the occasional night out.) Those things are nice, but whats more important is that although he loves his family and enjoys spending time with them, he is able to take care of all his day to day shit without them. It's also a relief to go to a guys house without his parents being there. It's nice to sleep over each others places all the time and not have to worry about anyone giving a shit etc.

Okay so I might be rambling here, but I hope I'm explaining myself better?
 

FatAndProud

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It's basically all been said above, however, I feel the need to add my $0.02! :p

I find myself gravitating toward 40-somethings. Whether it be for romantic interests (mostly) or friends. I enjoy someone who can be engaged in in-depth conversation and can be worldly/cultured. Of course, younger folks can be all that...but I find it easier to spot in older people. I like videogames and all that...but I don't think I'd want a romantic partner to be into them...I've seen the 20-something that plays videogames 22 hours per day and ignores his woman lol

Besides, everything about an (much) older man turns me on lol Don't get me started! From the gray hair to the burly beard to chest hair! :p I just like the sense of responsibility an older person assumes. I'm not one to drink much or party. I like being able to rely on someone with a solid career, solid mindset, and responsibilities. It's not fun being the only mature one. I graduate in 4 months with my BS as a certified Anatomic Pathologists' Assistant. I can't imagine dating a guy who works at Burger King that has "plans" of going to community college and majoring in communications or something. I know that's shallow, but I've worked very hard for what I want. I'd expect the same from a partner. I don't want a sugar daddy - that is not the issue. I want someone to be my complement.
 

CarlaSixx

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I'm sort of in the same boat as F&P.

I like them older for many reasons, and the aged like wine thing is pretty hot :)

But I want an equal. Most guys my age are pretty immature, and most want to have some level of control over their partner. I want my partner to be on my level, and to be mature. I've been through more things in my life than most people my age would understand, and the older ones get it. Plus, a lot of my personal morals and beliefs go better with an older crowd, so I gravitate more towards them.

Is that really a crime?

I like to put it as: I'm looking for my second in a power couple. That whole "partner in crime" shit is for the immature ones. Besides... I did my share of crime almost 10 years ago. I'm past that crap now. I need more stability than that.
 

KHayes666

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:O :D In my defense for the texting hate, it also occurs to me that I probably get a a much higher rate of stupid random texts than most people do. I have a sister in law on the west coast who sends me a lot of inane crap via text. She so sensitive that I don't want to hurt her feelings but once she sent me a picture of a chimpanzee in an Elvis costume with the caption "Yankees Suck" written underneath. I really should deactivate texting altogether but if I deactivate it she'll call, so in that respect I can totally relate to you Diana.
It gets worse on facebook, I don't envy the fact she has your number. My condolences friend lol
 

seavixen

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I have always (in general) gotten along better with people older than myself, regardless of gender or romantic interest. This has been true since I was a child; I think I've just always been sort of an old person - lol.

That said, I ended up marrying a guy who's less than a month older than I am. Ultimately, it doesn't have anything to do with age - just maturity level, personality, values, attraction, and the all-important connection.

Prior to a few years ago, I had been physically attracted to VERY few younger men. As I get older, younger men are... well, not so young. Thus, I find a lot of younger men attractive, both physically and in terms of maturity levels - simply because I'm still the same as I was ten years ago. I have the same tastes, basically. As weird as it is for me to think, "Oooh, that guy's cute!" and then realize that he's a handful of years younger than me, there's not really anything I can do about it. It freaked me out for awhile, but I'm kind of used to it now.

Age just seems to get more and more meaningless every year, for me. I mean, Keanu Reeves is approaching 50 these days. Still totally hot. Then again, so is Henry Cavill, and he's 28 - younger than me. That's the way it goes.

And, just to cover a few things that have been said - I actually find nothing wrong with "living at home" when it's done for practical reasons. There's a difference between responsibly building a strong foundation for one's future, and just being lazy, emotionally immature, and so forth - the things that are associated with living at home. Moving out with nothing, and with no real reason (as in, from a happy and supportive home life, without saving to some degree and establishing oneself to a point) just seems silly and unnecessarily risky to me. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but I'm all kinds of practical that way. I also feel that a person should pay rent when living with their parents past a certain age, in order to build up to the responsibility of living alone, and also to avoid becoming increasingly dependent.

Oh, and texting - I like texting, because I HATE talking on the phone. Hate it. Loathe it. Detest it. If someone's texting me and I'm busy doing something else, they can just wait. Screw 'em. It's a lot easier to ignore than a ringing telephone.
 

KHayes666

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I text a lot because its easier for me. I work a lot and I can't call while I'm at work so texting is all I can really do.

I stopped texting while driving a while ago but for the most part I do it because its much more convienant for me
 

MillyLittleMonster

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Older people are so much attractive.
Talking from experience here from what I've had so far but I've noticed I get hit on by older women a lot more than teenage girls, and they are so much attractive, they don't come with all that drama bullshit either. XD

I'm currently dating someone who is younger by almost 3 years (will be 4 next week) and I don't feel attracted anymore, perhaps its because I'm turning 21 and I'm maturing and no longer finding younger people attractive.

And when ever I'm out I constantly see older women and teenagers and the older women are 100% more sexy.
 

HeavyDuty24

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Texting is for people who have nothing better to do? Lol okay. I prefer texting because its more convenient for me not because I have no life. Actually its the opposite.. I'm often in situations where a phone call is impossible - in a crowded restaurant with friends, at work, doing homework in the library or hanging out with my boyfriend. It's easier, and less intrusive, to send a text to someone than to make a phone call.
I do agree with this, sometimes texting is more convient. It's just easier too sometimes it's hard to get those phone calls in.
 

HeavyDuty24

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More people are living at home for longer, because it's hellishly expensive to move out. Living at home doesn't mean you have no ambition, drive, independence or worth. Often it means you're still studying, you're saving money, and/or you have a good relationship with your family.

There's a big difference between someone living at home who's working, contributing to the running of the house (both financially and physically, with chores and such) and is actually an independent person, and someone who's slacking off, unemployed, not studying, staying home to play video games and expects others to clean up after them. The first, I'd date. The second, I wouldn't. It's not about where you live, it's about how you do it.

A lot of guys in that age bracket aren't emotionally independent. They don't know how to take care of themselves or their environment. It's not a turn on to go into a house that's never been cleaned and is covered in pizza boxes and the rubbish bin has become an entity that's asking for voting rights. For those guys stuck in the party mode, they don't exhibit great relationship signs.





It's perfectly reasonable for someone to reject advances from anyone, at any time. No one is owed anything.



Oh yes, the 'nice guy' dilemma. These aren't nice guys - they're entitled guys. They expect to get the chance to date the girl, simply because they want to, like the girl doesn't have the choice. She may not like them that way. She's allowed to not want to date them. How do you know she hasn't thought about it and decided against it?

There are plenty of people out there who make the same relationship mistakes over and over, and fall for type again and again with no success (I still have friends in their mid 30s that do this), but until THEY want to change their dating habits, it's not going to happen. No one owes anyone else a date, "just to see" if it'll work.



You take far too much pleasure in other people's misfortune. There's no guarantee you would've had a successful relationship with them or that your life won't go to hell. No one owed you a date, no one owed you a relationship.

IMO, rejections and failed relationships are important learning tools, because they help you understand yourself better and how you can be a better you. You learn more about what is important in a relationship, what's important in a date, what you will put up with and what you won't. You learn to improve yourself, not so that you can score better, but so that you can be a better person.

One reason some girls like older guys is because the older guys can provide the girls with stuff the younger guys can't - alcohol, gifts, nights out. Those girls aren't ones you want to have a relationship with, because they're just out for what they can get. Some girls like older guys because they're might be more reliable, more stable, more ambitious, more interested in doing things. Some girls like older guys because they have daddy issues and find security with older men.

Sitting around and being negative about all the people who have rejected you only makes you bitter, and bitter isn't attractive. Everyone has their preferences, and there's nothing wrong with someone else not finding you attractive. I don't find everyone attractive, so why would I expect that everyone would want me? I don't. But I know there'll be an overlap between the people I'm interested in and the people interested in me to find someone that I'll be able to have a relationship with.

I personally am not interested in dating someone that much younger than me, because chances are, we'll be in very different life stages. I'm at the wanting to settle down into a committed relationship point, not the dating around casually, let's see what happens point like we tend to be in our early 20s. I'd like more kids, and I've only got a few years left where that's an option to me, and someone who's ten or more years younger than me might not be in that place, where they're ready to do that so soon.

Once again great post Penguin i wish i could rep.
 

HeavyDuty24

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Older people are so much attractive.
Talking from experience here from what I've had so far but I've noticed I get hit on by older women a lot more than teenage girls, and they are so much attractive, they don't come with all that drama bullshit either. XD

I'm currently dating someone who is younger by almost 3 years (will be 4 next week) and I don't feel attracted anymore, perhaps its because I'm turning 21 and I'm maturing and no longer finding younger people attractive.

And when ever I'm out I constantly see older women and teenagers and the older women are 100% more sexy.
Older women are more attractive in the sense of they know what they want, there more comfortable with themselves and who they are, and they are more mature, and that is very sexy. I mean i still like younger women and women around my age to but older women just have those factors i mentioned above that can make them more appealing. Younger women can too although it's more rare. There are still alot of younger mature and stable women out there too.
 

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