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Discussion in 'Fat in the Media' started by happily_married, Sep 21, 2015.
A bit? Haha.
I know the guys I went to school with were afraid. Years later they would admit crushing on me then. It didn't bother me then as I had a lot of things going on my life family-wise that took me away from dwelling on it. Thankfully?
I may also be helpful for the ladies and the guys to remember that many boys in high school are afraid to talk to ANY girl they are crushing on, regardless of size. It's not necessarily just a fat thing. Some of us were petrified of all females.:wubu:
Your last sentence is just adorable!
Exactly! I did quite a few things I'm not proud of now when I was young. I dated a thin blonde girl I didn't even like for a few weeks because I wanted the status. I also had a fat girl friend I dated more or less on the down low. I also did a lot of stupid things not at all related to dating. I like to think I've grown up since. Bottom line -- so long as a person has done some growing up -- I'm not going to hold stupid teenage behavior against them -- and I hope they return the favor.
May not have been the stigma -- it may just have been that they were afraid of talking to girls. I know I never actually initiated a conversation with a female until I was over 30 years old (if girls hadn't talked to me first I would never have had any dates).
I read the OP and the following comments. It saddens me to see the "to little to late" sentiment.
We are all a combination of dark and light. At different times and stages we all reflect our life experiences in ways we are ashamed of. Hopefully as we mature and reflect we attempt to right our wrongs
I have always been the fat guy. I have been called the names and taunted. I have called names and been taunted. Someone found me on Facebook and reminded me of the hurt I caused them 40 years ago. We have had no contact in 4 decades and the pain I caused is still hurtful. I told them I will spend a lifetime atoning for the sins of my youth.
If my response is too little too late why bother. If there is no forgiveness in our worlds, there is little else.
I choose to forgive the wrongs visited on me and ask to be forgiven for my wrongs.
Thank you for allowing my input
This is something we should all try to live by. There is so. much. fucking. judgement. About EVERYTHING in this world. Literally everything. Letting go is hard, but you live a much better life having done so.
An excellent article on apology and forgiveness. It's a wide spread need.
Often, the person who has committed a wrong (or at least felt they did), looks to the other party for forgiveness. That forgiveness can release them from the bad feelings they had about committing the wrong to begin with.
For the person who was hurt however, forgiveness can also be a release. In this video, Marianne Williamson talks with Oprah Winfrey about the power of forgiveness, and how it can also be a release for the person who's been wronged. Now, that doesn't mean you have to have the person who wronged you back into your life. You may not even need them to formally apologize.
So, for those who are on both sides of the fence with regard to this, please take a few minutes to look at this video. Williamson's theories on forgiveness have certainly helped me in my life. Maybe they can help you as well.
Forgiveness is something you do for yourself...not the offender.
I wish my bullies would take the time to apologize to me for the countless years of torment and abuse. It takes a big person to acknowledge your mistakes, kudos to you.
Geez!..WTF is wrong with people on these boards? Why is everyone so damn sensitive?
No one escapes childhood without some scars. We have all been made fun of for something. For being too fat, too thin, too tall, too short etc. People need to learn how to get over it.
When did we become a nation of fucking whiners?
you would think that in a country where people hate personal responsibility, when someone decides to take personal responsibility, others would be more positive and open to it.
but, no. :huh:
The problem many people have in this situation is one of perspective I think.
Let's say for the sake of discussion, you're 40 years old and a 15 year old kid makes a rude or cutting statement to you about your weight, you will probably be angered and shake your head. You'll most likely wonder about what kind of parents they have and if they know their child is acting out in such a manner. Most would probably either say to the kid or silently hope that they grow up and learn from experience how to act. The reason in most instances? Because we don't put much stock in what a dumb teenager has to say. We also as adults realize they are lashing out from a place of insecurity and are looking to find their way, albeit in a misguided attempt when at the expense of another persons feelings. We would feel much different if another 40 year old person said the same thing to us.
Well, the thing to remember for all that hold on to the bitterness and pain from their youth, is that the person you are angry with was just another kid too. What point is there in holding on to anger far into adulthood over the actions of a dumbass teenager that if they said the same thing to you now, you would have a totally different reaction?
I won't speak to the OP's intent over his apology and the reasoning for posting this all here. I'm not in his mind. I will say that we all say and do things as kids that I hope we learn and grow from as adults. I also know that for myself, I won't have an adults anger at someone for whatever wrong they did me when we were kids. Because while I was just a dumb kid trying to figure life out, so were they.
Preach brother Gibson!...lol
There comments can be chucked to them being teenagers.... still holding on to that hurt and dislike into adulthood.. it show a lot about the kind of person you have grown to be. not something appealing.. at least not to me.
I bet your stories and your apology will en-light & inspire many people. Thanks for that.
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