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A question for ladies with paysites

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jimj

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First let me say that I would never push my wife into doing anything she didn't want to do. That being said, I've recently been thinking a lot about the extra money we could make if we started a paysite. The problem is that my wife has always said no to even posting a regular picture on any website. When I brought up the subject of her own paysite she said she wasn't interested. I don't understand her reluctance because she is very outgoing, loves to dress sexy and loves to show herself of in public. When I look at other ladies paysites it just makes me think about what a great site my wife could have. She's not only a BBW, She smokes, has some piercings and some tattoos. She could attract more than one interest and she's absolutley beautiful. What was it that made the ladies here decide that they were ready for a site and what could I say that might make my wife more open to the idea.
 

succubus_dxb

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Your wife has obviously stated pretty clearly that she is not enthusiastic about the idea- leave it be. It's her body, and something's just aren't worth the money.

I'm confident, smoke, have a piercing and tattoos, and couldn't imagine EVER having a paysite either ;)


That said, I have nothing but good wishes for the ladies that have chosen to have their own sites- good for them. It's a personal choice, and some people are comfortable about it, and some aren't.
 

Cors

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I am not a BBW or a paysite model, but I have done paid alt/fetish/artistic nude modelling in the past. There were a few photographers I enjoyed working with, but I mostly did it because the money was good.

She might be confident, outgoing and have a little exhibitionist streak - in fact, many women do! It doesn't make them suitable paysite models by default and it doesn't mean that they desire to have one either. It takes so much dedication and hard work. If you are not truly into it or into it for the money, you will burn out fast. One needs to keep up a constant welcoming, sexy facade, play up attributes they may or may not actually enjoy, interact with members and promote their site. I am not too certain about this but I think there is a start-up cost too or at least, some sort of a contract she will have to honour. Also remember that her site will probably be found out by her family members, friends and colleagues eventually so she has to be okay with that.

You mentioned that she isn't comfortable with posting regular pictures online. Why is this? You could try asking her to join Dims and hopefully she will feel at home here. She could participate and when she is more comfortable, start posting pictures on the Fashion board, then the Lounge, then the Weight Board if she desires to. At the same time, she could check out the Paysite board just to get a feel of how it is like so she can decide for herself.
 

Fascinita

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You mentioned that she isn't comfortable with posting regular pictures online. Why is this? You could try asking her to join Dims and hopefully she will feel at home here. She could participate and when she is more comfortable, start posting pictures on the Fashion board, then the Lounge, then the Weight Board if she desires to. At the same time, she could check out the Paysite board just to get a feel of how it is like so she can decide for herself.
Man... Cors, I love you, but I'm having a problem with this.

Why is it that when a woman expresses a lack of interest in posing in various states of (semi-)nudity, it automatically means she's "uncomfortable," or that she has to be gently coached/coaxed into joining the online revolution? It works for some people and just doesn't for others.

Please let's not foster an attitude that the only natural thing for anyone to do is to postpicsthx. The thing to do is to do as you damn well please without having to be convinced to do otherwise. In particular I am put-off about the OP's explicit desire to exploit his wife's image, even in the face of her own lack of interest. Why don't we try to convince him to start his own paysite?

When someone's not interested in posting photos of themselves online, the right thing to do is to respect and support that decision. Please let's try to grow up and learn to respect boundaries, OK?
 

collared Princess

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There are so many reasons why she might not want to show pictures..you may enjoy her body and want her to show it off and you cant understand why she would hide such a perfect body.She may just feel cheep or un classy showing her body off, some women do feel strongly about this..I started doing the web site because I wanted to share my assets lol..
You will just have to respect that is the kind of person she is...
 

Starling

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I'm not a BBW, but I have considered doing other paysite-type deals because hey, I could use the money. Then I think about my Dad coming across one of those sites and that kind of kills it for me. Or any Law School I plan on applying to. There could be a million reasons she doesn't want to do it, lack of confidence not being one of them. Also, I think if my husband wanted me to put pictures of myself on the internet for money I'd be fairly upset.
 

SamanthaNY

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First, if your motivation is money - you might want to do more research. I've never heard that people are getting rich by doing paysites. The multi-model sites probably do okay, but it's also a lot of work. To create a quality site with growing membership, some significant ongoing investment is required... a good camera, lighting gear, set furnishings, good photographer, clothing, site design, etc. I may not know a lot about paysites, but I know it takes time, money and skill - you don't just toss some pics up and reel in the $$$.

Man... Cors, I love you, but I'm having a problem with this.
Yes. Problem.

my wife has always said no to even posting a regular picture on any website.
she said she wasn't interested.
Which parts of the above statement led you to believe she *actually* meant "I just need to be convinced - so even though I've said no multiple times, take the discussion to strangers and get their input"? She said no. She meant no. Respect that, respect her, and stop pushing. Your motivations are completely selfish and self-serving - and what's worse... your wife is the one who will pay the price for it. Initially.

Your wife chooses NOT to do a paysite. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her that needs to be fixed. She doesn't need to be more open to the idea of a paysite. YOU need to be open to the idea that your actions are offensive, and you're treating her badly by doing this.
 

jimj

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As I said in the first sentence, I would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. It just surprises me that she doesn't want to because she is the first to admit that she thinks she looks great and loves to show herself off. I didn't mean to make anyone mad.
 

Cors

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Man... Cors, I love you, but I'm having a problem with this.

Why is it that when a woman expresses a lack of interest in posing in various states of (semi-)nudity, it automatically means she's "uncomfortable," or that she has to be gently coached/coaxed into joining the online revolution? It works for some people and just doesn't for others.

Please let's not foster an attitude that the only natural thing for anyone to do is to postpicsthx. The thing to do is to do as you damn well please without having to be convinced to do otherwise. In particular I am put-off about the OP's explicit desire to exploit his wife's image, even in the face of her own lack of interest. Why don't we try to convince him to start his own paysite?

When someone's not interested in posting photos of themselves online, the right thing to do is to respect and support that decision. Please let's try to grow up and learn to respect boundaries, OK?
Thanks for pointing that out, Fascinita (and I love you too). I realise I didn't phrase my response too well. :doh:

She could participate and when she is more comfortable, start posting pictures on the Fashion board, then the Lounge, then the Weight Board if she desires to.
I was thinking that she should check out the community for herself (FA mistake I suppose, some part of me assumes that every BBW will enjoy participating here) and then post pictures of any nature if she wants to and is comfortable with it. I mentioned both reasons because there are people who are fine with pictures of themselves online but just have no desire to, and then there are others who want to share pictures of themselves with others but feel scared for various reasons. If she belongs to the latter group and wants to change that, then she should do it at her own pace. I don't mean to imply that posting pictures online is a "normal" thing and I do not believe in coaxing or pressuring people into doing it at all.

I talked about getting her to check out the Paysite board for herself because many people who are not familiar with BBW paysites might think that a paysite has to be explicit, involve nudity of some kind or that they have to fake or exaggerate a fetish (say, feeding and gaining) to win fans over. This is not the case as most models don't do hardcore, many don't focus on the stuffing and weight gain and there are even successful paysite models who do not show pink parts. Even then, I can respect why many women don't want a paysite at all.
 

Santaclear

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As I said in the first sentence, I would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. It just surprises me that she doesn't want to because she is the first to admit that she thinks she looks great and loves to show herself off.
Why the surprise? Looking great and enjoying being noticed for it don't necessarily mean a woman would want to be a paysite model.

Bottom line is YOU'RE the one who wants that, not her, right? So why not just enjoy being with her rather than trying to control/influence her?
 

SamanthaNY

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As I said in the first sentence, I would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. It just surprises me that she doesn't want to because she is the first to admit that she thinks she looks great and loves to show herself off. I didn't mean to make anyone mad.
And you're negating that first sentence all together by then stating reasons why your wife is wrong ("but... we could make extra money; she's outgoing, loves to dress sexy, could attract interest"), and then asking for input on how to convince her of that.

Bottom line is... you don't accept your wife's answer, or her reasons for giving it. It doesn't make sense to you, so you're trying to change it. You're right - you'd never force her to do anything - but what you would do (and are doing) is second-guess her and come up with 'reasonable' arguments to persuade her that your way is better (you've done nothing wrong if she's changed her mind, right?). That's just a more subtle form of the 'pushing' you said you'd never do.

Are you a bad man? No. Bad husband? I don't think so. I think (hope) you might consider honoring your wife by accepting her answer without further comment (especially those starting with "but"), and immediately dropping this idea. Forever. Unless *she* brings it up.
 

Fascinita

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As I said in the first sentence, I would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. It just surprises me that she doesn't want to because she is the first to admit that she thinks she looks great and loves to show herself off. I didn't mean to make anyone mad.
I'm not mad. As I said, I was put off by your desire to convince your wife to do something you report she's declined to do. And I wanted to express why I see that desire as misguided. This is a public forum and I think it's worth expressing all sides of any issue, so I wanted to make sure that my POV was represented. But I'm not mad.
 

LisaInNC

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Hello...she said no...what part of that are you having a hard time with? I cant believe you would come here to ask us how to convince her she should do something she doesnt want to do.
Hmm I wonder..where can I go for advice on how to convince you to slam your penis in a dresser drawer.
 

altered states

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From a man who's been in a LTR, if you care about the relationship more than the potential cash, just drop it like you never suggested it and maybe she'll forget in 30 years or so that you brought it up in the first place.
 

Aurora

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Playing devil's advocate for the OP here.

I don't think jumping on the OP and saying he's in the wrong for wanting to coax his wife to do a paysite is the right way to help out here. While I do agree that she should choose for herself, there is *nothing wrong* with suggesting and opening someone to new ideas and new ways of thinking. It's only when you get pushy that it crosses the line.

I agree with Cors's last post. Maybe she has a lot of misconceptions about paysites. If she sees the way things work and still has no desire for it, then I'd drop it.

Also, never go about a paysite "for the money." As was stated before, there's a lot of work involved to be successful, and you have to really love what you're doing or it's going to get old quick. Personally I really miss it, and I'm trying to locate photographers in the area so I can step things up a bit. :)

~Aurora
 

Mies

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Hmm I wonder..where can I go for advice on how to convince you to slam your penis in a dresser drawer.

Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hang on to.
Wow! Remind me to stay out of North Carolina.
 
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SamanthaNY

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I don't think jumping on the OP and saying he's in the wrong for wanting to coax his wife to do a paysite is the right way to help out here. While I do agree that she should choose for herself, there is *nothing wrong* with suggesting and opening someone to new ideas and new ways of thinking. It's only when you get pushy that it crosses the line.

I agree with Cors's last post. Maybe she has a lot of misconceptions about paysites. If she sees the way things work and still has no desire for it, then I'd drop it.
My impression is that his wife is neither ignorant or stupid. I took it on faith that she is well aware of what paysites are (since he's no doubt touted their qualities to her already), their impact, and the consequences and benefits of having one. Certainly the basics are there in the name 'paysite', but there's nothing wrong with investigating them. Some of them are quite wonderful to look at... and there's no harm in considering one. But c'mon... at what point is her "no" going to be accepted!? I don't think I'm going out on a limb by guessing she's said "no" at least half a dozen times if not more. WHY is that not enough, and at what point will it be? At some point - and for me, we're waaaay beyond that - it becomes offensive to keep ignoring her decision, and saying "but wait, what about...".

I'm never going to see it as a good thing to "coax" (your word) someone into doing 1) something they don't want to, and 2) what is viewed as porn*. Yup, I think that's a big fat bucket-o-wrong, and I'll say so. Throw into the mix that she's taking risks primarily for HIS benefit, and this is all nothing but bad.

*whether or not paysites are indeed pornography isn't something we should debate here. My wording is such that some people believe it is - that much is true.
 

collared Princess

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I think this post is just an example of men trying to figure out what women are thinking and why..Women tend to get pissed when they feel another woman is being taken advantaged of or being persuade into changing her mind..
I dont think that the OP has done anything wrong. I think He is just trying to figure out the Female mind and how we work..May I suggest the book Men are from Mars women are from Venus..it is a great read and helps you understand the "real" thinking of the opposite sex
 

mossystate

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We live in such a weird time. So many people want the world to know and see eeeeeeverything about them, that, when some are just not into it...well...they must have issues.



To the OP. You know, there are sites out there for men to show off their goods. Since you would have no problems with your wife having a paysite, as you know it would not be about her actually being with the people who look at her........you could find a person to snap pictures of you, no matter if men/women are looking at the pictures. If it is about the money, take off those clothes and do right by the financial part of your relationship.


And, Jim, how many pictures do you have of yourself on Dims. I forgot to look.


* eta....this is NOT about the differences between men and women...*slaps forehead*...this is about respecting the choices of someone you say you love
 

Aurora

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My impression is that his wife is neither ignorant or stupid. I took it on faith that she is well aware of what paysites are (since he's no doubt touted their qualities to her already), their impact, and the consequences and benefits of having one. Certainly the basics are there in the name 'paysite', but there's nothing wrong with investigating them. Some of them are quite wonderful to look at... and there's no harm in considering one. But c'mon... at what point is her "no" going to be accepted!? I don't think I'm going out on a limb by guessing she's said "no" at least half a dozen times if not more. WHY is that not enough, and at what point will it be? At some point - and for me, we're waaaay beyond that - it becomes offensive to keep ignoring her decision, and saying "but wait, what about...".

I'm never going to see it as a good thing to "coax" (your word) someone into doing 1) something they don't want to, and 2) what is viewed as porn*. Yup, I think that's a big fat bucket-o-wrong, and I'll say so. Throw into the mix that she's taking risks primarily for HIS benefit, and this is all nothing but bad.

*whether or not paysites are indeed pornography isn't something we should debate here. My wording is such that some people believe it is - that much is true.
But you must admit, your "impressions" and "taking on faith" are a big load of assumptions. It could very well be true that she thinks paysites are full out, spread eagle, smutty porny porn porn and won't hear another bit of it.

And I said that the OP shouldn't be looked down upon for *wanting* to coax his wife into the paysite world. I think most guys who have a hot gal enjoy the idea of showing her off. I also think that most women enjoy being shown off as well (I know I do!), and that's not just the likes of photos, but just generally dressing nicely and receiving compliments. People like positive attention, at least people who are confident enough to accept compliments.

Now I'm not saying that his wife is stupid, I'm not sure where you got that impression. I'm not saying she's not confident either (of course you can be confident and not want to do porn), it's a big decision.

I guess I just think a person has to have all the pieces of the puzzle in order to make judgment calls.

~Aurora
 
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