A Weird Situation

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BigElectricKat

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So, there's this really attractive woman who works in my building. I sometimes see her walking in the hallway but very often we catch the same train when heading home from work each day. I generally keep my distance because I find myself staring at her. Many times, I will move to a different car just so I don't seem like a creeper.

About a month ago I found myself standing near her waiting for a seat to come open. She started talking to me and over the ensuing weeks, we often will chat. I found that she is very intelligent and well-spoken. When she engages in conversation, she looks me in the eyes and smiles her beautiful smile. She is down to earth and has a great sense of humor and has the most beautiful eyes!

The other day, I learned something about her that makes me pause. It seems that two years ago, she was involved in a hit and run accident and was found to be DUI. She left the scene after striking this guy while he was stationary on his motorcycle. She did not report the accident either. The only way that they were able to apprehend her was that her license plate fell off in the crash. To young man was severely injured and was in a coma for three weeks. They thought he wouldn't survive but luckily, he did. He now lives in a nursing home to the severity and permanency of his injuries. He is partially paralyzed, can barely speak, had a stroken and lost a kidney due to the accident.

This woman, who must have a good lawyer, has so far avoided jail time or even a trial. I haven't seen her since I learned of this information (she's on vacation in Vegas). On one hand, I really like her and wish to continue cultivating a possible friendship. On the other, I am really upset at the DUI thing. Two years ago, my friend and coworker was killed by a "distracted" driver while returning from visiting his parents. He was also riding a motor cycle.

I don't want to say anything to her or let on that I know. But I'm not sure I can look at her the same anymore. I would feel strange bringing it up and indeed would feel similarly if I ignore it.
 

BigElectricKat

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I would just stay away if it were me. Too much drama. Where did you hear the story from? Is it the whole story? If you insist on bringing it up, you should at least hear her side of it too.
The story was on the news and in a local newspaper. I suppose I would wait and see if she ever brings it up.
 

Green Eyed Fairy

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It's one thing to accidentally bump into someone...but dang. to hit him hard enough to put him in a nursing and drive off? You definitely have cause for concern here....
Yes it would be fair to hear her side but no need to ask about unless you really do try to get to know her better/get closer.
 

DragonFly

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I’m going to jump on the other side of the fence. If someone likes the compassion to stop and render aid to somebody that they have hit with their vehicle what kind of partner would they be. That kind of behavior really scares me. I can understand being afraid of what you’ve done and panicking but I would hope that an adult who can hold a job and obviously a conversation and you feel is intelligent would be able to stop And help with something that she has caused. I would want to know if he had received medical attention sooner but things have been different. Yes she was under the influence and drove off but do you want to take that kind of baggage into your life.
 

Skye23

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Two thoughts. Are you absolutely sure its her? Not just her name, but her? I've got a pretty common last name, far less common first name but my hubby on the other hand has multiple people wandering around the same area we live in, with the same name, one of whom even has the same middle initial. He's even had one work at his company - when the guy left they cancelled hubby's email account. He's applied for jobs and been told he already turned down a job with them and they'd never hire him. Of course if her name is very unique, likely not the case.

Second as someone with a family member who struggled with substance abuse - sometimes people do horrible things when under the influence of the substance, but then get help and return to being the wonderful person they were. If it is her, and she had her wake up call and is in recovery then its a slightly different story then if she's still engaging in that behaviour.
 

BigElectricKat

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Two thoughts. Are you absolutely sure its her? Not just her name, but her? I've got a pretty common last name, far less common first name but my hubby on the other hand has multiple people wandering around the same area we live in, with the same name, one of whom even has the same middle initial. He's even had one work at his company - when the guy left they cancelled hubby's email account. He's applied for jobs and been told he already turned down a job with them and they'd never hire him. Of course if her name is very unique, likely not the case.

Second as someone with a family member who struggled with substance abuse - sometimes people do horrible things when under the influence of the substance, but then get help and return to being the wonderful person they were. If it is her, and she had her wake up call and is in recovery then its a slightly different story then if she's still engaging in that behaviour.
First and foremost, I would have never even considered bringing this up if I were not sure. Luckily (or unluckily depending on your point of view), the media outlets in the area are fairly consistent with providing pictures to their articles and several have been published. Sadly, there's no mistaking. And she doesn't have too common a name.

Additionally, I contemplated that very same scenario. People make mistake and should be given the benefit of the doubt in some cases. Heaven knows, that I can't be the one to cast the first stone. And I'm still hopeful that is the case: she did it, it was a wake up call, and hopefully doesn't head back down that dark path that led to this tragedy.

Skye, thank you for your input. It is greatly appreciated.
 

BigElectricKat

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It's one thing to accidentally bump into someone...but dang. to hit him hard enough to put him in a nursing and drive off? You definitely have cause for concern here....
Yes it would be fair to hear her side but no need to ask about unless you really do try to get to know her better/get closer.
I am totally with you on this!
 

AmyJo1976

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I was kind of wondering how you would even bring something like that up if she didn't just come out and tell you? There's no way for you to do that without it being horribly awkward. Example: So...I heard you ran some guy over drinking and driving and then tried to get away? How did you feel about doing that?
 

BigElectricKat

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I was kind of wondering how you would even bring something like that up if she didn't just come out and tell you? There's no way for you to do that without it being horribly awkward. Example: So...I heard you ran some guy over drinking and driving and then tried to get away? How did you feel about doing that?
Right. I realized that no matter how I approached it, it was going to come off in a bad way probably. I'm just going to leave that situation alone.
 

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