Once in the dressing room, Sam pulled off his sweater and (with a sigh of relief) undid his jerry-rigged pants. He avoided the mirror in the dressing room as best he could as he started to tug on the first pair of 38's, the blue ones. With a sinking feeling, he felt them hug onto his thighs as he pulled them up. He gave a slight hop to get them to the top and over his impressive backside - often thought by Sam privately as his best feature, and reassured as such by several girlfriends in the past - then took a shaky breath as he went to button them. Thank god, the button found the hole. But...they were uncomfortably tight. Sam sighed, resisting the urge to groan - remember, you’re in public now, that’s a thing again - and looked in the mirror. He cringed at the sight, his already impressively present belly and love handles being squeezed out the top of the too-tight pants like a burst cinnamon roll tube. It was not flattering, to say the very least.
"Great," he exhaled sarcastically, too quietly to be overheard, then went to squeeze back out of them. Just to make sure they weren't an outlier, he tried on the black pair too - and nope, no cigar.
I just blew past my biggest size, Sam thought, not exactly bitterly - it wasn't in his nature - but definitely a bit disheartened. Wheeee.
Sam looked at the size 40 pants begrudgingly. That number felt like such a milestone - much like his last one, reaching 300lbs. But he was often told he didn't actually look that size, considering his height and decent musculature. With another sigh, Sam tugged on the green pair of larger pants and got them up and buttoned with no issues. Before looking in the mirror, he tugged on the Henley that River had provided. Steeling himself, he checked his reflection.
Oh. Oh, he looked...pretty good. And felt good. The Henley showed off his muscular arms and chest while draping over his belly in a, well, if not disguising way, then at least semi-flattering. Much more so than the Henley’s at Duluth. The pants weren't so loose as to look grungy, and the colors looked good together. Sam inhaled and exhaled a satisfied sigh, this time.
Okay then, he thought. Good enough for government work.
Even taking an extra second to admire the person in the mirror - someone he hadn't seen in months, having stuck to comfy clothes only and avoided reflections telling him of his weight gain while in quarantine - then stripped the shirt off. After checking the button ups were fine - they were - he changed back into the Henley and left the dressing room. "Can I wear these out? And one more pair of these 40's in a black," he asked the dressing room attendant. "Certainly," was the reply he got, as tags were removed and taken to the checkout counter.
River was nearby, studying another mannequin with clearly fake determination. She spotted Sam right away and gasped.
"What?" Sam asked, seeing her widened eyes and immediately thinking the worst. Maybe there was an obvious issue he hadn't seen? Some part of his brain that had atrophied in isolation? But River's hand came away from her mouth to reveal a grin.
"Oh, that looks great! Wow! You look....wow," she said, forcing herself to reign it in a little and looking at a particularly interesting patch of floor to hide her blush.
"Yeah, you were right," Sam grinned back, finding himself blushing a little in response to her enthusiasm. He ignored the tightening in his chest at the sight of a slightly more abashed River - a side she showed almost no one. Most people knew her in town as ferocious, with a polarizing quality to her intensity. But he adored all of it. There was nothing wrong with being who you are, especially when you're as fun as River. "Thanks kid."
After paying, before they could head back the way they came, River asked: "Pretzel?"
"Oof," Sam groaned before he could stop himself. Part of the heavenly aroma floating through the mall was a small pretzel stand that was one of their guilty pleasures. You could only get it at the mall, and with a bevy of toppings, it'd be incredibly easy to top 3,000 calories on the snack alone. But it was so good. "You know I can't say no to that."
"I do know," River said gleefully, leading the way down another hall towards the pretzel shack. Sam laughed, and followed. "They're on me, get whatever you want."
"What if I can't decide between a sweet and a savory?"
"Sounds like you're getting two pretzels," River replied seriously.
"You're going to be rolling me back in there for yet another size up," Sam teased back.
"Good, I want to see you hang that sumo blue ribbon - or uh, gold belt - platinum trophy? - WHATEVER! In your room ASAP," River responded haughtily. Sam laughed harder.
"If you insist, m'lady," he said.
River got her usual - a cinnamon sugar pretzel with cream cheese dip. Sam got a fully loaded sweet pretzel, featuring m&ms, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, marshmallows, fudge, oreo crumble, sprinkles, and more, as well as a savory pretzel with bacon and nacho cheese to dip in.
They sat on a bench across from the shop to enjoy their prizes.
"Can't get this in quarantine," River said as she enthusiastically dipped her pretzel.
"Sure can't," Sam said cheerfully around a mouthful of pretzel. A moment later, a group of teenagers began to strut past the pretzel hut. Already casting around with a critical eye, the clan observed Sam double fisting pretzels, and began to snicker. One of them was quick to point with a finger at his bag from the big & tall store, and several of the snickers turned into full-blown laughs as they stumbled by.
Sam couldn't help it, he let his hands holding the pretzels drop a bit. He sighed. It's nothing he hadn't seen before - as a fat person existing in a public space, it's a pretty consistent guarantee - but the "public" part hadn't been a factor for awhile. He was a bit out of practice in letting it roll off his back. On top of all the clothing struggles of the day, he couldn't help but feel embarrassment over his snack choice take hold.
River glowered after the group, but even she didn't feel the need to engage with a group of asshole teenagers. "That's right, there's people out here," she grumbled. "Why were we so eager to get back to it again?"
Sam gave a crooked smile and nudged River before saying with exaggerated cheesiness, "Why, for this right here, of course!"
"Oh yeah," she said, still a bit grumbly, but returning Sam's smile. "I'm really glad we got to do this. I'm...thank you."
"Me too. I'm glad you came, kid."
He tried not to think about it, but the truth was, even before quarantine, Sam and River hadn't hung out like this in awhile. Back when Sam was single, they'd have been over at each other's places most days, making trips to Pop's, road trips, the whole nine yards. But when Sam started dating Helen, that had changed. He would spend most days with his new romantic partner, and even on his free days, things weren't quite the same. He'd learned from past relationships that it was frowned upon to have your friend of the opposite sex watching TV in bed with you while you were otherwise engaged. Things he'd never really thought about, because it was River. His best friend. But he wanted to be respectful to Helen, and soon, Sam could feel River pull away as well. She normally pushed back, insisting that platonic friends being comfortable with each other was not a threat and the girls should get over it, but she went quiet on the subject within a few months. She still reached out, and they still considered each other their closest friend, but there weren't anymore late night horror movie marathons in Sam's apartment that went until they both passed out, fully clothed, on top of the covers. Most interactions were in a group now.
But Sam did miss her. And there was something in River's eyes when he looked back at her, something deep and emotional and unreadable. She looked away quickly.
"So...Duluth next?" she said finally, licking some cinnamon-sugar off her fingers. Sam took the last bite of his bacon pretzel and nodded.
"They're generous to big boys," he said with a grin. Hell, he could sometimes still fit in an Extra Large of their fleeces! It was the perfect end to the day.