"All the nice girls love a bastard!"

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veil

boston based bluestocking
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i think a lot of the "women go for bastards" is a rephrasing of "nice guys finish last," neither of which i personally believe.

yes, i have female friends who always go for the alcoholic jackass--but not because he's a bastard. you see, he's a sweet man deep down inside and only love can save him!

i also have male friends who go for the self destructive dramatic types--again, they think that through thought, word or deed they can SAVE their beloved.

honestly, this kind of thinking--for men or women--is actually far more selfish than it is self sacrificing. it hinges on the concept that YOU and only YOU can save or damn your partner. it turns the drama from whatever their issues are to one's own need for approval.

i personally would rather have neither the nice guy nor the bastard--give me a well-rounded (tee hee) self aware guy, who probably has issues but sees & works on them with as much effort as i exert on my own.

AAAANYWAY this comic is still funny to me:

 

Bearsy

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I've been tinkering with my persona recently and I've tried acting slightly cold with the women in my life. Not specifically mean, but just cooler... sort of backhanded compliments here and there.
I've found it actually has had a positive effect and I've been receiving a good bit more attention from the ladies I've been brash to.
I guess it's true.
 

TraciJo67

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hobos are nasty... We used to have a homeless guy who would come in the receiving doors and take a shit on the parquet mosaic in the lobby at least once a week.
Well, that guy was nasty, at least.

My experience with "hobos" (you know, actually working with them) is that they are people (you know, like you and I) who simply lack, or lost, basic coping skills and no longer have the resources or ability to get their lives back on track without a lot of help. A significant percentage of them, by the way, are war veterans.

But yeah, it's easier to consider them non-people and to just piss on them or, marginally better, to just look through them as we step around them. Doesn't require any kind of empathy, a working conscience, or humility.
 

joswitch

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ha, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

when life gives you nothing but shit... make more shit!
Exactly! lolz!

And I can see that POV.... something like this...

"I got no food, no home, no money, nowhere to wash, everyone looks down on me... but THEY got a damn parquet mosaic floor in that nice warm lobby they won't let me sleep in! Damnit! .... oh wait... I got a nice '**** you!' for them right here!"
 

stldpn

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Well, that guy was nasty, at least.

My experience with "hobos" (you know, actually working with them) is that they are people (you know, like you and I) who simply lack, or lost, basic coping skills and no longer have the resources or ability to get their lives back on track without a lot of help. A significant percentage of them, by the way, are war veterans.

But yeah, it's easier to consider them non-people and to just piss on them or, marginally better, to just look through them as we step around them. Doesn't require any kind of empathy, a working conscience, or humility.
seriously, I understand that hobos are people. I also understand the reason that many hobos are hobos not just because they have substance abuse issues or a traumatic past but because they have anti social tendencies. And as much as you might want to excuse it. Some of it really is sheer petulence that amounts to me taking the time to go to them and ask them not to sleep (and if it were just sleeping that would one thing but you do know what a bum's nest looks like right?) and shit behind the dumpster I'm responsible for maintaining, so of course, unable to comply with a reasonable request they decide to shit on my lobby floor over and over again..

I can't have pity for individuals like that... and if they don't understand why I shouldn't be responsible for cleaning up their bottles, boxes and carts their issues with society in general are what landed them in that position in the first place.
 

stldpn

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.... and I thought I was kinda joking about "hobo vengeance" ... Now I see the motive!

Yeahhh... god forbid anyone should sully a place where "decent" people throw away their garbage! That would be awful! /sarcasm

Serious note - you get a shovel and a hose and you get paid right? You're not doing this clean-up for free, surely?

This reminds me of all the hassle live aboard boaters get on the river... recently one verrry, verrrrrry rich resident who lives about half a mile away complained to the EA about boaters being moored on a designated free mooring in the middle of nowhere, (certainly not in view of her palatial mansion with extensive grounds) for longer than the nominal (but arbitrary except for the height of summer) 24hrs*.... I had to explain this to my non-river friends, who could not comprehend the pettiness involved....

"It's like this - these people have SO MUCH - and it just burns their asses so badly that anyone else have just a little... How dare other people have anything! These interfering **** want it ALL!"

(*and no, no-one was messing the place up)


Also, today I found out that the local council serves lawyers' eviction notices to homeless people living in tents, in the bushes, in the borough.... Before sending the plod to drag their tents away! Yeah! Way to go! STAMP on the little guy! Woo! /sarcsasm
seriously how is it my fucking fault that they don't have their shit together? I pay my taxes. Then I turn around and pay property taxes to counties and cities. I go to work. I give a cash donation to the local Catholic shelter.

IC the reason why you don't respect a property owner's rights is because you don't own property.

If you owned a piece of property and gypsies came in and started parking on it. And they trashed it. Started dumping their waste tanks on the ground etc. It would piss you off.

If you were moored up and someone you didn't know entered your boat. Would you call the cops? He's just sitting there shitting on the deck... He didn't do anything to you though. Would you be pissed that someone had so little respect for themselves and others that they would expect you to clean up after them? Because that's what a lot of homeless people do. If you want to live outside of the bounds of society you shouldn't expect special consideration. If I have to follow the law, you do too. If people don't like the rules maybe they should do something about them that doesn't indicate a complete disregard.

The motive had to do with the fact that the guy was selfish prick.

PS At the time I was a doctor and a member of a clinic. And seriously, wtf is wrong with you if you really think that I should take time out of my day to clean up after someone who does nothing but take advantage of my business?
 

TraciJo67

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seriously how is it my fucking fault that they don't have their shit together? I pay my taxes. Then I turn around and pay property taxes to counties and cities. I go to work. I give a cash donation to the local Catholic shelter.

IC the reason why you don't respect a property owner's rights is because you don't own property.

If you owned a piece of property and gypsies came in and started parking on it. And they trashed it. Started dumping their waste tanks on the ground etc. It would piss you off.

If you were moored up and someone you didn't know entered your boat. Would you call the cops? He's just sitting there shitting on the deck... He didn't do anything to you though. Would you be pissed that someone had so little respect for themselves and others that they would expect you to clean up after them? Because that's what a lot of homeless people do. If you want to live outside of the bounds of society you shouldn't expect special consideration. If I have to follow the law, you do too. If people don't like the rules maybe they should do something about them that doesn't indicate a complete disregard.

The motive had to do with the fact that the guy was selfish prick.

PS At the time I was a doctor and a member of a clinic. And seriously, wtf is wrong with you if you really think that I should take time out of my day to clean up after someone who does nothing but take advantage of my business?
You absolutely, completely, but unsurprisingly missed my point altogether.

You generalized about "hobos" based on the actions of one (presumably) homeless man who, as I mentioned in my initial post, was clearly something of an ass.

I own property. I'd be plenty pissed if someone broke into my house and took a dump on the floor. Hell, I'd be pissed at the breaking in part, even if they did so in order to BRING me a plasma TV, brand new furniture, AND they'd hired a maid to clean the place up. This wasn't -- at all -- about property ownership and ownership rights.

It was, and is, about ugly generalizations.
 

WillSpark

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So, ladies, the nice ones, do you find any of that arguement above this attractive?

If not, I suppose that disproves the thread, huh?
 

stldpn

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You absolutely, completely, but unsurprisingly missed my point altogether.

You generalized about "hobos" based on the actions of one (presumably) homeless man who, as I mentioned in my initial post, was clearly something of an ass.

I own property. I'd be plenty pissed if someone broke into my house and took a dump on the floor. Hell, I'd be pissed at the breaking in part, even if they did so in order to BRING me a plasma TV, brand new furniture, AND they'd hired a maid to clean the place up. This wasn't -- at all -- about property ownership and ownership rights.

It was, and is, about ugly generalizations.
I actually responded to joswich who did in fact address property rights in his post (ie those rich bastards on the river who ask boaters to follow rules god forbid we take into account the huge impact fees those "rich bastards" probably pay just to live on the river) about how incredibly insensitive it was for me to tell that drunk piece of shit to move his nest and his elimination activity off my property.
 

Wanderer

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Lost my first girlfriend to a guy with anger management issues I could see from a mile off... because he reminded me of my father in that respect. But then, it was pretty obvious even at the time.

See, when my first girlfriend and I got together, we were both social outcasts. She had a scar on her chin and wore out-of-style clothes and liked Brtiish TV shows. I read a lot, wore out-of-style clothes and liked British TV shows. We BOTH wore glasses. And we soon discovered that my kisses, even as chaste as she insisted on being, could curl her toes.

And then we got caught. Right in the middle of one of our "secret" kisses (which was a secret only because nobody was trying to find out), we suddenly discovered they'd finally replaced the light bulb in one floor indicator of the darkened elevator. Suddenly, all the people who'd been trying to figure out who was kissing knew entirely too well.

Well, you know the old gag as well as I did. If a boy and a girl, both social outcasts, are seen kissing, the GIRL is going to become more popular, since everyone figures... you can say it with me if you want... "she must be easy". (She wasn't, of course -- she wouldn't even let me kiss her on the lips -- but it drew attention to her DD bustline as well.)

Inside of a week, I got the "I think we should see other people" speech.

Inside of a month, she'd found someone, and I quote her, "less mature". (She wanted more danger in her life, and strong, supportive types didn't feel dangerous enough.)

These days, thankfully, she's married (to someone that isn't the bastard she left me for) and doing fine. But it was still annoying.
 

escapist

Belt Buster!
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Lost my first girlfriend to a guy with anger management issues I could see from a mile off... because he reminded me of my father in that respect. But then, it was pretty obvious even at the time.

See, when my first girlfriend and I got together, we were both social outcasts. She had a scar on her chin and wore out-of-style clothes and liked Brtiish TV shows. I read a lot, wore out-of-style clothes and liked British TV shows. We BOTH wore glasses. And we soon discovered that my kisses, even as chaste as she insisted on being, could curl her toes.

And then we got caught. Right in the middle of one of our "secret" kisses (which was a secret only because nobody was trying to find out), we suddenly discovered they'd finally replaced the light bulb in one floor indicator of the darkened elevator. Suddenly, all the people who'd been trying to figure out who was kissing knew entirely too well.

Well, you know the old gag as well as I did. If a boy and a girl, both social outcasts, are seen kissing, the GIRL is going to become more popular, since everyone figures... you can say it with me if you want... "she must be easy". (She wasn't, of course -- she wouldn't even let me kiss her on the lips -- but it drew attention to her DD bustline as well.)

Inside of a week, I got the "I think we should see other people" speech.

Inside of a month, she'd found someone, and I quote her, "less mature". (She wanted more danger in her life, and strong, supportive types didn't feel dangerous enough.)

These days, thankfully, she's married (to someone that isn't the bastard she left me for) and doing fine. But it was still annoying.
Ouch, well all I can say is sometimes people are just drawn to the warm end of the pool where they feel they can have more excitement. Guys snake other guys girls all the time by pumping there emotional state higher than the guy they are with. I've done it, I've seen it done, and I've had it done too me. Its not always on a conscious level, sometimes the other guy really is just funnier or whatever. When your actually together and they mean to do it...uh yeah, BASTARD! Granted there are plenty of people who believe that unless there is a ring on it, it ain't yours yet. I wonder how Gene Simmons feels about that :p (for those who don't know: the lead singer of KISS doesn't believe in marriage).
 

veil

boston based bluestocking
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Ouch, well all I can say is sometimes people are just drawn to the warm end of the pool where they feel they can have more excitement. Guys snake other guys girls all the time by pumping there emotional state higher than the guy they are with. I've done it, I've seen it done, and I've had it done too me. Its not always on a conscious level, sometimes the other guy really is just funnier or whatever. When your actually together and they mean to do it...uh yeah, BASTARD! Granted there are plenty of people who believe that unless there is a ring on it, it ain't yours yet. I wonder how Gene Simmons feels about that :p (for those who don't know: the lead singer of KISS doesn't believe in marriage).
doesn't believe in marriage, oh YEAH? well then how does he explain wedding rings?? huh? HUH? :p

 

Wanderer

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Ouch, well all I can say is sometimes people are just drawn to the warm end of the pool where they feel they can have more excitement. Guys snake other guys girls all the time by pumping there emotional state higher than the guy they are with. I've done it, I've seen it done, and I've had it done too me. Its not always on a conscious level, sometimes the other guy really is just funnier or whatever. When your actually together and they mean to do it...uh yeah, BASTARD! Granted there are plenty of people who believe that unless there is a ring on it, it ain't yours yet. I wonder how Gene Simmons feels about that :p (for those who don't know: the lead singer of KISS doesn't believe in marriage).
Eh. I loved her, don't get me wrong, but she was never that into me anyway. Admittedly, I was doing my level best to get carried away with her (though I still consider my sister unkind for calling me her "stalker", since most of my social contact with her was by phone... and she wasn't shoving me away in the elevator, thanks), and she knew her dad hated me, not to mention she wouldn't even allow me to kiss her on the lips... so it's not like I lost a LOT when she left. But she WAS my first girlfriend, so it DID hurt at the time.

Nah, we had one of those "mature" breakups. You know, the nice, polite, quiet ones where you act very grown-up while your stomach ties itself in knots and your heart breaks. (Issues? Naaaaah...)
 
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