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An Unusual Question

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CAMellie

Gabriel Spencer
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Pardon me if I've posted in the wrong section, but I have an unusual question.

I never got a chance to show my mother the outfit I bought to get married in...and I still plan on wearing to our wedding. My question is: Would it be in any way, shape, or form tasteless, or tacky, for me to wear the outfit to my mother's memorial service?
I have always been a stretch pants and t-shirt kinda person so fashion do's and don'ts are NOT my thing. If it is genuinely NOT the thing to do then I will go buy a different outfit.

This question is real and heartfelt...please be honest.

Thank you,
Melanie
 

Pitch

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Honestly, I would suggest buying something new. Not for courtesy or taste's sake, but you will have a heavy head to hold up during your wedding if you remember just where you wore your digs.

And if one considered social constraints? Neither event needs to be awkward for you, your family or fiancee. I vote for a new outfit.
 

CAMellie

Gabriel Spencer
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Honestly, I would suggest buying something new. Not for courtesy or taste's sake, but you will have a heavy head to hold up during your wedding if you remember just where you wore your digs.

And if one considered social constraints? Neither event needs to be awkward for you, your family or fiancee. I vote for a new outfit.
Thank you for your honest advice. I'll order something else tomorrow.
 

randomjenerator

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First, I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

Second, I think it is quite dependent on the individual. I think if you, personally, felt comfortable wearing them to both then you should. It could even be seen as a simple way to remember or honor her by wearing it to both.

I think it really depends on how you feel about it. If it would make you feel too sad on your wedding day, then a new outfit is in order. If you think otherwise, I say go for it.
 

CAMellie

Gabriel Spencer
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First, I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

Second, I think it is quite dependent on the individual. I think if you, personally, felt comfortable wearing them to both then you should. It could even be seen as a simple way to remember or honor her by wearing it to both.

I think it really depends on how you feel about it. If it would make you feel too sad on your wedding day, then a new outfit is in order. If you think otherwise, I say go for it.
Thank you for your condolences...they are much appreciated. I'm going to go ahead and get something else to wear to my mom's memorial. I think that, if I were to wear my wedding outfit to the memorial, the outfit would then be associated with sadness. I appreciate your input. Thank you.
 

moore2me

Lions don't need to spank
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CAMellie,
You have my sympathy in the untimely death of your mother. It is very sad when a person who is loved so much has to leave this life too early.

As far as your mom not seeing your wedding dress, I have some advice that helped me when my father died. The person handling dad's funeral, told us that if there was anything we didn't get a chance to tell dad (he died suddenly & family was not there) - that we could write down what we wanted to say and bury it with his body. I also imagine that pictures or descriptions of a special dress or other important event that mom never saw could also be left with in a casket.

If there is to be no casket, you could either have the messages cremated with your mom or burn them yourself. This is not a strange or unusual idea. I have a friend who is Chinese. When her father died, her mom had her burn several important things the widow wanted her husband to have with him. Most of things burned were paper and were burned so that they could rise up to the heavens. It was an intimate affair handled by the family.

Again, my condolences in your mom's death.
 

PamelaLois

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As far as your mom not seeing your wedding dress, I have some advice that helped me when my father died. The person handling dad's funeral, told us that if there was anything we didn't get a chance to tell dad (he died suddenly & family was not there) - that we could write down what we wanted to say and bury it with his body. I also imagine that pictures or descriptions of a special dress or other important event that mom never saw could also be left with in a casket.
CAMellie, I am so sorry for your loss.

I was just going to suggest this ^ , take a picture and put it in the casket with mom. My dad died about 18 months ago. His casket actually had a special drawer in the lid where we could put special remembrances. We each put something in the drawer, but had it not been there, we would have just put the things in the casket. I think wearing your wedding outfit to the funeral would not be a good idea. That outfit needs to be worn to a joyous occasion, and should be remembered for that alone. My prayers are with you.
Pam
 

Shosh

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Mellie I am so sorry to hear that your mother has passed away.
You have suffered so much loss over the years.

I am sorry that she will not get to see you walk down the aisle on your wedding day.:(

Are you familiar with the wedding tradition, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?
Maybe on your wedding day you could put something of your mother's into your floral bouquet or pin it to your dress etc.

Do you have anything like a brooch or something that was your mother's, that you could wear on your dress on the day, that you will hold close to your heart?
Or maybe you could wear a necklace that was your mother's on your special day?

You could even sew a small square of your mother's clothing on the inside of your dress on the lining, maybe near your heart, and that way a part of her will be close to you.

My sincere condolences.
 

KuroBara

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geralyn holmes,
I'm very sorry for your loss. I also recommend placing a photo in the coffin. I agree the outfit itself should really just be linked to your wedding day. Again, my deepest sympathies.
 
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