Arby's Bullies

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ChubbyBubbles

Luke's Mommy
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Today was a beautiful sunny day. My husband had off for the day so we decided to take our 2 yo son to the mall. (he loves to pet the puppies at the pet store) We decided to grab some lunch at Arby's since it was over lunch time. We walked in and I instantly noticed a petite brunette point my way and nudge her "boy" friend. :shocked: They both start laughing and snickering...so I ignore it since I don't want to ruin our family time. As we sit down this girl and friend keep staring at me and laughing uncontrollably. Now I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable...and mad. Still I don't say anything to my husband. Finally the pair walk past and just as they are ready to leave the girl says "Just look at her" and bursts out laughing while pointing at ME! The guy snorts in laughter and they both try to contain themselves as they exit. Now I'm PISSED! :mad: Why are they laughing? I'm just your normal 500 pound wife and mommy enjoying a Friday afternoon with her family. Well, my husband hears the comment and before I know it, he's out the door chasing the 2. By the time he reaches them they lock themselves in their car and just smirk at him. Grinning from ear to ear as if to say "F*ck you buddy!" Of course they wouldn't get out and face my husband, they just sat there for a few minutes before pulling away. It's probably a good thing because my husband was fuming!
I don't understand why people think it's funny to make fun of someone to their face?! What gives them the right? It really pisses me off that I have to put up with shallow people more so than not. What's a good way to handle these creeps?
Sorry to vent, but it just needed to be told. Fortunately, I was in a great mood so it didn't ruin our lunch. We had a nice lunch and enjoyed the rest of our day...but if I could have spit right in those creeps faces, I would have had an even better day! :happy:
 

Shosh

Susannah
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Christal,

How awful that this happened to you. I would not give cretins like that the time of day.
I think that if people have to have hate in their hearts towards others based on how much they weigh, then they have real issues with themself as a person.
Christal your purpose in life is to be a wonderful mummy to your baby, and wife to your husband. You are already changing your little corner of the world and adding beauty to it.
Let those people stew in their own hatred, while you focus on all that is wonderful and beautiful in life.

Meanwhile thank you for the lovely message you sent to my My Space page.

Susannah
 

TraciJo67

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Fortunately, I was in a great mood so it didn't ruin our lunch. We had a nice lunch and enjoyed the rest of our day...but if I could have spit right in those creeps faces, I would have had an even better day! :happy:
You handled it exactly as you should have -- you didn't let a couple of ignorant buffoons destroy your day, or even your lunch.
 

LJ Rock

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I feel for you, C.B. I really do. I think anyone's who's ever been laughed at or ridiculed for being "different" in any kind of way knows how painful it is... no matter how old we get or how mature and composed our outward demeanor.

But you know what, as much as I know you would have liked to have confronted them and spit in their face (or worse) I for one am glad you didn't! You definitely walked away from the incident the better person, and I think most of the time such acts of vengeance feel a lot better when played out in our minds than they would if we actually acted them out; vengeful words and deeds bring us down to the level of our adversaries, and make us look and feel just as petty and small as they are. As hurtful and embarrassing as such an attack can be, I think that stooping down to their level can only make one feel worse in the long run.

Good for you for not letting it ruin your special day with your family, and isn't good that we have a place like this to come and vent! :)
 

Dr. Feelgood

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I think this is fairly typical behavior for many late teens/early twenties. It's an age when you don't quite know who you are yet, and there's a strong temptation to let yourself be defined by whatever crowd you run with. So you really, really need to be accepted by the crowd, and you do this by emphasizing your distance from people who aren't part of your group: criticizing them, insulting them, bullying them, all to show that you're part of the "in group" and prevent the "in group" from dealing that same sort of punishment to you. Some people never grow out of it; others look back a few years later and cringe at what they once thought was "cool". You handled them just right: ignoring them shows them their own unimportance.
 

Tina

Older and wiser now
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Stuff like this really sucks and I'm sorry you suffered it at the hands of ignorant, immature idiots.

Before I moved, my husband and I went to one of our favorite little restaurants (friends who joined us at the restaurant the day after our wedding know of which one I speak), because they make the best fried chicken we've ever had. We walked in and to the right was a booth with a thin blonde women and what looked like her kids, ranging from maybe kinder to teen. She was staring at me. I noticed it, looked away and then looked at her again. She was still staring. The entire time we stood there waiting to be seated, I bored holes into her by staring, unblinkingly. I was still staring at her when the owner came to seat us, but I could see that my staring at her made her uncomfortable. I was more than fine with that.

Were what happened to you would have happened to me, what I would do would depend upon what kind of a mood I was in. It would range anywhere from saying nothing to making some kind of a cutting remark back. So much depends upon circumstance, and for so many years I was dumbfounded at such behavior and could only think of what to say after. Today, after many years, I can usually, if so inclined, come up with some kind of slice and dice remark on the spot that will shut them up. Sometimes staying silent and not playing into it is the best thing, but it's also something that can then burn you up later, when you wish you'd have said something or reacted differently. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do.

I'm rambling now, but really, I just want you to know that situations like this so often have more to do with the thing lacking in the idiot who behaves that way than it does you. For what that may be worth.
 

Lamia

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People are so rude and stupid sometimes I wonder why they haven't been beaten to death by an angry mob yet. I understand what you went through and I just want you to know that I support you. I would have linked arms with you had I been there and sang the Fat Chick Anthem. "Oh say can you see?...nope cuz I gouged out your eyes you rude, hateful, piece of crap..."

This springs to mind a particularly uncomfortable situation I went through back in Nov. I was in a resteraunt with my mother and boyfriend. It was the local eatery of our small town. This pre-teen girl kept staring at me. She was with her family, which is a family we know. We know everyone in town. I stared at her for a bit, but she just kept staring. My mom glared at her. I just ignored her and tried to eat and have conversation. My mom was so upset she had tears in her eyes I wanted to die. I felt just like I was in high school all over again. Here I was a grown woman reduced to that fat, teen girl who used to race down the halls to hide in the art room. My poor fiance kept going..."what?" he had no idea what was going on. I wanted to cry I felt so stupid and just....exposed and vulnerable.

I find out when we get to the car that this girl is the offspring of a boy who made my life a living hell in school. He was in the resteraunt too. I didn't mention this while we were there because my fiance has said many times that he'd like to beat the guys ass. It's better as the other poster said to avoid conflict and just leave.

We are moving back to the area. I am moving from Columbus Ohio, where I have never been made to feel like this on any level. It makes me kind of nervous. Home is a community full of people who hate fat, but my family is there.
 

AnnMarie

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Been there, sorry you had to go through it. It always shocks me in a comprehensive way just because I can't even imagine thinking those things and acting that way toward another person. It's just .... I don't know.

You handled it well, and I don't blame your husband... it's hard to watch people disrespect someone you love and not try to defend them.

And how RUDE to do that in front of your child... disgusting.
 

prettysteve

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Mrs Christal : I wish I had been there.Me & my Homeboys would have body slammed them and made a Arby's Roast beef sandwich out of all of them. By the time me and my homeboys were done with them they would worship the ground you and your hubby walked on.:eek: Next time you have to deal with some BBW-haters just give me a jingle and I will have my entourage leave the D.C. hood and come to your rescue. :doh:
 

ChubbyBubbles

Luke's Mommy
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Next time you have to deal with some BBW-haters just give me a jingle and I will have my entourage leave the D.C. hood and come to your rescue. :doh:
Awww...you are so sweet to want to come to my rescue! Well, you and your D.C. Homeboys! Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face! The world needs more guys like YOU! :D
 

gangstadawg

the wanderer
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Oct 25, 2005
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Today was a beautiful sunny day. My husband had off for the day so we decided to take our 2 yo son to the mall. (he loves to pet the puppies at the pet store) We decided to grab some lunch at Arby's since it was over lunch time. We walked in and I instantly noticed a petite brunette point my way and nudge her "boy" friend. :shocked: They both start laughing and snickering...so I ignore it since I don't want to ruin our family time. As we sit down this girl and friend keep staring at me and laughing uncontrollably. Now I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable...and mad. Still I don't say anything to my husband. Finally the pair walk past and just as they are ready to leave the girl says "Just look at her" and bursts out laughing while pointing at ME! The guy snorts in laughter and they both try to contain themselves as they exit. Now I'm PISSED! :mad: Why are they laughing? I'm just your normal 500 pound wife and mommy enjoying a Friday afternoon with her family. Well, my husband hears the comment and before I know it, he's out the door chasing the 2. By the time he reaches them they lock themselves in their car and just smirk at him. Grinning from ear to ear as if to say "F*ck you buddy!" Of course they wouldn't get out and face my husband, they just sat there for a few minutes before pulling away. It's probably a good thing because my husband was fuming!
I don't understand why people think it's funny to make fun of someone to their face?! What gives them the right? It really pisses me off that I have to put up with shallow people more so than not. What's a good way to handle these creeps?
Sorry to vent, but it just needed to be told. Fortunately, I was in a great mood so it didn't ruin our lunch. We had a nice lunch and enjoyed the rest of our day...but if I could have spit right in those creeps faces, I would have had an even better day! :happy:
well here in the hood we have a saying. dont start no shit there wont be no shit unfortunatly alot of peeps have not gotten the message. if i was your husband i prolly would have cracked there windshield. seriously talk shit then run is a hoe ass move.
 

ChubbyBubbles

Luke's Mommy
Joined
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I can't even imagine thinking those things and acting that way toward another person. It's just .... I don't know.


And how RUDE to do that in front of your child... disgusting.
I can't imagine being that cruel to someone either...especially right to their face...and for NO reason at all!
As for my son, my husband and I raise him to respect and love ALL people...whether fat, disabled, of a different race/nationality, etc. It's very important to me that I instill this in my son not only because he is my heart, but because he is our future.
 

sugar and spice

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I am so sorry this happened to you. The same type of thing has happened to me too, more times then I can count over the years. I usually react or not, according to what mood I'm in. One day I was going to my car in a parking lot of a drug store and a group of about five teen age guys were hanging out there. They saw me and started laughing and making comments, especially one twerp in particular. Well I tried to ignore him but finally I could stand it no more so I stopped and turned on them and yelled "HEY ASS HOLE" and when he turned to look at me I said "I see you know your name". All of his friends started laughing and pointing at him. He didn't like it very much either, but I doubt it stopped him from doing it to someone else. I have also been known to say to jerks staring at me in restaurants "this is just a snack" It totally takes them off guard. Most of the time if I can, I just ignore them though. My husband is protective of me too he would have definitely reacted the same way yours did. I'm really happy you have a supportive husband and wonderful son who love you and in the long run thats the best revenge.:)
 

ChubbyBubbles

Luke's Mommy
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Thank you all SO MUCH for your support! Reading all of your comments have touched me and made me realize that I shouldn't let people like that get me down...especially when I have so many wonderful friends here at DIMS! :wubu:

Thanks again for accepting me for who I am!

*BIG HUGS*
~Christal
 

Sandie_Zitkus

In Rememberance
In Remembrance
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Living in Texas is - as I like to call it - like living in the fat peoples homeland.

I only had one incident like this - and Wayne got in his face and he was too shocked at being confronted by an irate husband to say anything back.

I'm sorry this happened to you. But you didn't let it spoil your day. Good for you. :)
 

IwannabeVERYfat

ready to be fattened up!!
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so sorry this hppened to you. I would have reached inside the car, pulled them out,and beat the living **** out of them, then I would get mad
 

Matt

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mortalmadmatt,
I know it's sometimes good to be a better person and walk away but this is the sort of situation where I wouldn't be able to help myself from beating these people within an inch of their lives. Maybe it's a little extreme but there's no other way to deal with these idiots.
 

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