Are FA/FFAs and potential SOs too selective?

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Green Eyed Fairy

Funky Faerie Queene
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i'd laugh at anyone complaining someone is too picky - desperate's far more common than delusional
Amen......my agreement is probably why I cringe whenever I see these thread titles pop up on my User CP..........

I have spent too much of my life taking crap off of other people- and I'm far from the only person with this problem.

Picky and alone seems mighty shiny to me right now...... ;)
 

Observer

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Originally Posted by frankman
That's at least two black men not driving their own car.That could be construed as a clear sign you guys don't have your sh!t together.
It could also be construed as evidence that they are smart enough to refuse to pay outrageous parking fee charges and fortunate live in a city with reasonably reliable public transportation.

Back in my grandfather's day monied business executives and professional men with perfectly good Packards and Buicks in the garage still rode the good old Pacific Electric red cars to work in downtown Los Angeles berfore WW2.

Why?

It was convenient. In 1919 trolley companies comprised America's fourth largest industry, behind Agriculture, Railroads an Steelmaking. There was no shame in using public transportation - a car was a luxury for most. But after the flash depression of 1922 things changed rapidly and trolleys began a long period of decline. The busses that replaced them were not nearly as accomodating and those who could afford a car with which to commute tended to use them. By the end of the Korean conflict the transition was complete except for cities like New York, Chicago and London.

I've only been to NYC once in my nearly seven decades of life in America. After seeing the wall to wall taxis four deep at the intersections and the costs for garaging a private car there I can readily understand why workers there don't commute like we do here in California.

In recent years public transportation has seen a revival - and using it should not be a stigma. I know at least a half dozen people who rely on them. Last fall my own car was out of commission, so on a lark I decided to try the Metro-Link and connecting buses rather than renting a car. I was surprised how easy it was to make a sixty mile trip with two connections.

All that said, I don't think it would be classy to use public transit for a first date. :)
 

frankman

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It could also be construed as evidence that they are smart enough to refuse to pay outrageous parking fee charges and fortunate live in a city with reasonably reliable public transportation.

[...]

All that said, I don't think it would be classy to use public transit for a first date. :)
I thought I put a :p there...

Wait a minute, I did put a :p there!
 

bigmac

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What you're saying overall isn't completely off base Bigmac, but I think you are not accounting for a person's potential... or the ability of the "less desirable" to make themselves more desirable in other ways such as how they dress, their personalities or the variables of what a potential suitor seeks. Some people are attracted to the "geeks", they may be people in a "higher class" of potential mates... there are infinite combinations of how people of varying "quality" might interact. Saying that someone must settle for someone at some level of desirability is almost asserting that there is some sort of caste system that exists as to the level of a person's desirability. I think the variables are too great to make such a blanket assessment as to how "realistic" a person can be in finding a potential S.O. I still think it comes down to one's desire to find someone up to their standards... to make themselves more desirable if they have the inclination to do so... and as I said earlier, there will need to be some compromise because I don't think there is such a thing as "the perfect mate".

Good post. I'll concede that I didn't address the personal potential issue. Yes, its true that people cab improve themselves. Indeed the desire to learn and achieve (and I'm not talking just money) is one of the attributes that make a person desirable in the first place. However, in the calculus of mate selection I still think that potential needs to be reduced to its present value (i.e. discounted for the not insubstantial possibility that a person will not fulfill his or her potential, and for the time, effort, and money that will need to be invested to fulfill said potential). In this respect a medical school graduate is worth more in the romantic market place than a biology grad with a good GPA and MACT score. Of course potential will mean more to those younger than I who have time to invest in their mates success. Unfortunately, for those of us over 40 -- as a former GF told me before she dumped me for an investment banker -- a some point potential is just not enough.
 

Mini

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I don't think I'm asking for too much when I say I want a reasonably tall girl who isn't fucking crazy or stupid. However, I know that most of my difficulty in dating stems from my own flaws - shy, shit job, off-putting personality, etc. - than from my expectations. I know it's going to be a fairly rare person who can put up with me in the long run.
 

Angel

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I don't think I'm asking for too much when I say I want a reasonably tall girl who isn't fucking crazy or stupid. However, I know that most of my difficulty in dating stems from my own flaws - shy, shit job, off-putting personality, etc. - than from my expectations. I know it's going to be a fairly rare person who can put up with me in the long run.
5'8 3/4" tall
not crazy
genius level IQ

shy in person until I feel comfortable with someone. online, not so much.

able to over look anothers personal flaws

I'm very rare. One of a kind. Unique.

I think we have a match!!! (Did I mention I'm playful and funny sometimes?)


Now, do you sleep with your sunglasses on?

Do you talk in your sleep? Specifically, would I be startled awake by comments such as are posted at Dimensions? (LOL)

Ummm... you didn't mention age. Could a fat bellied SSBBMILF do it for ya?


No. This is NOT a personal ad. Mini knows I'm kidding. I hope!


Seriously. I consider myself to be very selective. I think that it is wise to be so, especially when desiring a long term relationship. My "list" isn't based upon appearances, finances, or the number of initals that follow a man's name, but moreso based upon his character and integrity and upon his acceptance of my being a SSBBW and upon my health needs. (I may decide to explain further at a later time.)

 

Victim

Oasis is JUST A BAND.
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I don't think I chose who I married, I think Fate made the choice for me. Theresa is a perfect match and we just had our 20th anniversary. She is God's gift to one man, and I'm still wondering what I did in another life to possibly deserve such a prize.

If the day comes that I lose her, I'll look out into the world including the women of DIMS and see absolutely nobody that can even come close to a match.

I don't mean this to be negative to the women of DIMS or anyone else, but it is true.
 
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