Article "I Gained 70 Pounds During COVID. Here's What Happened On My First Day Back In The Office

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Tad

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From the Huffington post. I was linked to this from elsewhere, and thought it was a pretty decent article -- quite body neutral, which is rare enough in main-stream media.

 

waldo

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Good read, thanks for posting.

Telling sentence: "I still love fat people and fat bodies."

The line in the article that stands out for me is:
"While visiting a college as a high school senior, a cute guy asked for my phone number, but when he called he wanted to know how much I weighed because, he told me, he “likes a woman he can climb.” "
So often (like almost always), FAs are only painted in a negative light in these types of articles, shows, etc. Like did she never have an at least somewhat positive encounter with an FA that she could share to balance it out!? No wonder everyone thinks we are a bunch of totally tactless freaks! Now certainly many FAs (both closet and non-closet) treat fat women like garbage. SOme don't know any better (they are totally socially inept) and some just don't give a fuck. They see these fat women as just a 'hill to climb' and get their jollies, then move on. I fully realize that these kind of early experiences with FAs really scars these young women and turns them against all FAs. But just like any other distinct group, we are not a monolith, and perseverance is warranted. I continue to maintain that they (fat people) will never have a truly fully satisfying relationship with a guy/girl who is not an avowed FA. Everyone deserves to be with someone who thinks they are the bomb!
 
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Tad

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Two lines that jumped out at me were:
But despite these convictions, I was exhausted, and existing in a smaller body was much, much easier.
But whether I eventually lose the weight I gained or not (and if I do, I will miss you, massive boobs!), I have to do my best to accept my body where it is every step of the way.

I wonder how many other people are like this, where it isn't that they ever minded being in a fatter body, and even saw some of the pluses of it, but simply hate how society treats them, or alternatively lose and fight to stay thinner just for the ease of existing? And then I wonder how the effects of covid maybe makes some of them re-evaluate those feelings?
 

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Many paragraphs of this article feel like I could've written them myself - thank you for sharing the read Tad.

The line in the article that stands out for me is:
"While visiting a college as a high school senior, a cute guy asked for my phone number, but when he called he wanted to know how much I weighed because, he told me, he “likes a woman he can climb.” "
So often (like almost always), FAs are only painted in a negative light in these types of articles, shows, etc. Like did she never have an at least somewhat positive encounter with an FA that she could share to balance it out!? No wonder everyone thinks we are a bunch of totally tactless freaks! Now certainly many FAs (both closet and non-closet) treat fat women like garbage. SOme don't know any better (they are totally socially inept) and some just don't give a fuck. They see these fat women as just a 'hill to climb' and get their jollies, then move on. I fully realize that these kind of early experiences with FAs really scars these young women and turns them against all FAs. But just like any other distinct group, we are not a monolith, and perseverance is warranted. I continue to maintain that they (fat people) will never have a truly fully satisfying relationship with a guy/girl who is not an avowed FA. Everyone deserves to be with someone who thinks they are the bomb!

waldo - I think you vastly overestimate the general public knowledge regarding the existence of FAs. Especially since the scene the writer references in the article happened some 20+ years ago - meaning in the still early days of the internet. Chances that a high school senior in those days had ever heard the accronym "FA", let alone what it meant and that a corresponding sub-culture existed are somewhere <20%. So a 18-year old in say 1998 responding with incredulity to or assuming a prank in a blunt FA encounter sounds not judgemental but plain realistic.

General awareness of the diversity also of sexual preferences has increased tremendously in the meantime, and the respective age-group will be likely to file such an encounter accordingly. Nevertheless, fat admiration/acceptance has never - unfortunately - really succeeded in penetrating the lingo, accronyms and concepts beyond the specific subculture. Like BBW is much more likely to be spelled out as "beautiful black woman" than "big beautiful woman".


Two lines that jumped out at me were:

I wonder how many other people are like this, where it isn't that they ever minded being in a fatter body, and even saw some of the pluses of it, but simply hate how society treats them, or alternatively lose and fight to stay thinner just for the ease of existing? And then I wonder how the effects of covid maybe makes some of them re-evaluate those feelings?

In my personal case, that definitely was one consideration for maintaining a half-way acceptable weight despite never being close to what would qualify as "thin". Physically the only difference I feel in times when I'm 35 pounds lighter is that of being less strong and powerful but in turn being more agile on stilettos.
So not having to constantly fight even more negativity, prejudices and discrimination simply for not fitting the societal size standard for women always was one factor that kept me from completely giving in to my eating lust and love of all things fat. As well as - also as the author here writes - to have more clothes shopping options, not be limited to strictly plus-size brands and offers.

But apart from these conscious deliberations regarding my size staying within the "acceptable" weight range was not that much of a chore me since I've always had a life with a lot going on, moving around - so turning very sedantary never was on the cards regarding neither life circumstances nor personality. Plus - I was taught good old-fashioned healthy eating habits at home that became second nature combined with a stomach that never could take some very rich foods (deep fried - my life-long enemy) - both certainly contributed to keeping my size within reason.

Regarding Covid19: my personal public&media-opinion-radar is currently telling me that the pandemic has brought a bad backlash to all things body positivity and fat-phobia is going stronger than ever. Not least because there seems to be some correlation between (real) obesity and Covid19 related risks. And this correlation is being used to put ever more societal pressure on fat people and to justidy open discrimination. Even rougher times are coming for the fat community imo.
 
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Many paragraphs of this article feel like I could've written them myself - thank you for sharing the read Tad.



waldo - I think you vastly overestimate the general public knowledge regarding the existence of FAs. Especially since the scene the writer references in the article happened some 20+ years ago - meaning in the still early days of the internet. Chances that a high school senior in those days had ever heard the accronym "FA", let alone what it meant and that a corresponding sub-culture existed are somewhere <20%. So a 18-year old in say 1998 responding with incredulity to or assuming a prank in a blunt FA encounter sounds not judgemental but plain realistic.

General awareness of the diversity also of sexual preferences has increased tremendously in the meantime, and the respective age-group will be likely to file such an encounter accordingly. Nevertheless, fat admiration/acceptance has never - unfortunately - really succeeded in penetrating the lingo, accronyms and concepts beyond the specific subculture. Like BBW is much more likely to be spelled out as "beautiful black woman" than "big beautiful woman".

In my personal case, that definitely was one consideration for maintaining a half-way acceptable weight despite never being close to what would qualify as "thin". Physically the only difference I feel in times when I'm 35 pounds lighter is that of being less strong and powerful but in turn being more agile on stilettos.
So not having to constantly fight even more negativity, prejudices and discrimination simply for not fitting the societal size standard for women always was one factor that kept me from completely giving in to my eating lust and love of all things fat. As well as - also as the author here writes - to have more clothes shopping options, not be limited to strictly plus-size brands and offers.

But apart from these conscious deliberations regarding my size staying within the "acceptable" weight range was not that much of a chore me since I've always had a life with a lot going on, moving around - so turning very sedantary never was on the cards regarding neither life circumstances nor personality. Plus - I was taught good old-fashioned healthy eating habits at home that became second nature combined with a stomach that never could take some very rich foods (deep fried - my life-long enemy) - both certainly contributed to keeping my size within reason.

Regarding Covid19: my personal public&media-opinion-radar is currently telling me that the pandemic has brought a bad backlash to all things body positivity and fat-phobia is going stronger than ever. Not least because there seems to be some correlation between (real) obesity and Covid19 related risks. And this correlation is being used to put ever more societal pressure on fat people and to justidy open discrimination. Even rougher times are coming for the fat community imo.

Very astute post. If you check out, say, Bill Maher, he maintains that obese people were the ones who got Covid the most and were hospitalized more often. Evidence? No idea. But we live in a society where "If you say it, that makes it true."

He, along with comedian Bill Burr, are the worst public offenders in their undisguised hate and disgust for fat people, and don't lose their jobs or get canceled whenever they make a nasty comment, like "We need to bring back fat-shaming." and it's not a joke. Point being, it it still perfectly fine to mock fat people in real life and on line with no consequences.
 

Donna

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Bring back fat shaming? Did it ever go away? I can still clearly remember being fat shamed as early as six, so I’d say I have fifty years of anecdotal proof it never went away.

And Waldo, “I continue to maintain that they (fat people) will never have a truly fully satisfying relationship with a guy/girl who is not an avowed FA. Everyone deserves to be with someone who thinks they are the bomb!”

While yes, we DO deserve to be with someone who thinks we are the bomb, everyone does, that doesn’t necessary always have to be an FA. There are pitfalls and soaring heights in both types. Of the two significant relationships in my life, one was an FA, and the other was not. It takes character, chemistry, and communication to make a “truly fully satisfying relationship.”
 

waldo

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Many paragraphs of this article feel like I could've written them myself - thank you for sharing the read Tad.



waldo - I think you vastly overestimate the general public knowledge regarding the existence of FAs. Especially since the scene the writer references in the article happened some 20+ years ago - meaning in the still early days of the internet. Chances that a high school senior in those days had ever heard the accronym "FA", let alone what it meant and that a corresponding sub-culture existed are somewhere <20%. So a 18-year old in say 1998 responding with incredulity to or assuming a prank in a blunt FA encounter sounds not judgemental but plain realistic.

General awareness of the diversity also of sexual preferences has increased tremendously in the meantime, and the respective age-group will be likely to file such an encounter accordingly. Nevertheless, fat admiration/acceptance has never - unfortunately - really succeeded in penetrating the lingo, acronyms and concepts beyond the specific subculture. Like BBW is much more likely to be spelled out as "beautiful black woman" than "big beautiful woman".

I agree that it would be questionable to think she filed that campus encounter in her memory as a negative FA experience at the time. She could have however put it together with other subsequent experiences to form a current understanding (like at time this article was written.
Then again, I had been thinking about this more so from the standpoint of someone reading this in 2022. People are much more exposed to a lot of sexual preference varieties now, so it may not necessarily be so unexpected that a reader today could think an 'FA incident'. Well more than 20 % anyways ;)
 
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