Author: FA's Make Me Want To Be Thin

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Moonchild

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There are a lot of freaking posts in this thread so I'm sure I'm repeating something. I read the first and last page but that's it...

I think objectifying is an inescapable part of humanity. I think my girlfriend (who happens to be thin, for the record) is gorgeous and I tell her that all the time, which is a reflection of my response to her body and therefore objectification, but every so often I remind her that that isn't why I love her. Immanuel Kant argued that people can be treated as means or as ends; that is to say treated like things or like people. He demanded that all rational beings be treated as ends. As long as they are treated as ends, they also may be treated as means, provided it does not interfere with their treatment as ends. It's classic dualistic paradox - we ARE objects, but more importantly, we're also NOT objects. The story this thread is about gave an example of a violation of this rule.

Now, I didn't say all of that to argue that objectification is okay - I'm more of the opinion that it's a necessity that must be carefully moderated, but rather to argue that the author of the story in the first post here is trying to escape something that is inescapable. I think a request for her soliciter to fuck off would be more appropriate than dangerous surgery, especially if, as is implied (I'm sure [read: hope] this isn't the case), it's the only reason for it.

I feel there is a gaping hole in her logic. She doesn't want a man who will objectify her, but she has to lose weight to get him? I'd rather have someone who loves me no matter what I look like. Getting weight loss surgery for this sole reason means she has abandoned hope of this ever happening, even though it is simultaneously her impetus. Does that make sense?

But that's just me. Some people have different priorities. She seems to really believe all FAs are insane, but I'd like to think that if I were in the same position I wouldn't sacrifice a part of myself unless it was something I'm relatively indifferent to. For example, I would shave my beard off to get a girl, but asking me to cut my hair would be crossing the line. Of course, everything I just said is based on the idea that she did enjoy being fat like she said. If she didn't actually care that much, than whatever, I have no opinion of her actions.

I think one of the problems with FAs on the internet is that the crazy ones are often the vocal ones. Analogous example: think of a Republican and a Democrat - not specific ones, just generic ones. Did you picture an inbred hillbilly with four teeth and a dirty teenager tripping on various cacti? I did. Of course I may be biased... But it's hard to be aggressively not weird. Even if freaks are few and far between, they're the ones you notice.

Of course there's always the alternative to the rest of this entire post that I'm really just trying to defend myself.
 

sweet&fat

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I'm still just stunned at the author's clumsy and childish use of language. She wields it like a blunt object- what self-respecting person over the age of 12 uses the phrase "closet cases and retards" to make a point?
 

James

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Of course there's always the alternative to the rest of this entire post that I'm really just trying to defend myself.
I think thats a natural reaction. The OP and most of the FAs posting in the thread have expressed guarded and 'not me guvna' responses to the 'weirdo' tag... but I get the impression that most of the people posting here (on the main board on dims) arent a lot like the chap in question anyway... At least it seems that way to me? None of the FAs I've actually met in person seem particularly maladjusted or closeted or anything particularly unlike say, the rest of my friends.

I dont deny these guys exist though... You dont have to look far to see myspace is rife with fatty-collectors and anonymous FAs. Thats less obvious to me here on dims but but I've been shown once or twice the kind of lechy, objectifying stuff that gets written in PMs by some FAs.

I'm not sure if the problem is bad enough to warrant action but could this kind of drive-by objectification be avoided by removing PM rights from new posters until they have 50 posts or something like that?
 

RedVelvet

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It depends on how you look at it. Every time you masturbate to porn, you're objectifying someone. I admit I do that. Out of sexual attraction, that's granted. Not something you do outside. It's for my own pleasure, and in moderation.
Sex is probably one of the last things on my mind when I approach a lady I like. If it's for a serious relationship, I want a girl with a personality, who's good to talk to. I wouldn't have sex with a chick just because of her physique. One night stand, maybe, just for fun.
Freaks who happen to be FAs, are guys who just view real women who they meet in person as sexual objects, nothing more, etc.
I prefer bigger ladies than is considered "normal", and some related turn ons, :blush: but nothing like the freaky crap some FAs come up with. FA is just a general term for guys who are attracted to big chicks and so on. And those guys can be all sorts of people. Otherwise "average" guys, intellectuals, professionals, even people who you would assume would be anti-fat girl or something, e.g sportsmen. And within the group there are some hardcore fetishist FAs who are so fixated and fetishised, and try to make their fantasies become reality, feeders, hardcore sex, stalkers, disturbing comments, etc.
Fat fetishists aren't exactly bad if they know control, but the hardcore FAs are often embarrassing and unnerving to behold(no offence). Really lets down the honest, well-intentioned guy who likes big chicks.

Yay, you.

thanks for this.
 

RedVelvet

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True. I like fat guys. If i'm someplace in public and a fat guy walks by, my head will turn. Last week i was at the gym and 'distracted' myself while on the stairmaster by watching a fat guy who was weightlifting (more fun than a stupid magazine or ipod!) If i encounter a fat guy through work or a social event, i'll probably check out his belly.

That having been said, it's not a fetish for me. I've recently dated a guy who weighs 130 pounds. I've dated fat guys who lost weight. I don't see an attractive man and start thinking "not fat enough.." I sure don't objectify it.

BUT. Some women do, and i get that. There are women on the BHM board who post about getting upset if a partner loses weight. There are women who if they are not with a SSBHM, just won't get horny enough. There is nothing wrong with those women---it's just how they are.

What's important is how you act, not how you think.

I love this post so much I want to have its babies.
 

RedVelvet

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I think thats a natural reaction. The OP and most of the FAs posting in the thread have expressed guarded and 'not me guvna' responses to the 'weirdo' tag... but I get the impression that most of the people posting here (on the main board on dims) arent a lot like the chap in question anyway... At least it seems that way to me? None of the FAs I've actually met in person seem particularly maladjusted or closeted or anything particularly unlike say, the rest of my friends.

I dont deny these guys exist though... You dont have to look far to see myspace is rife with fatty-collectors and anonymous FAs. Thats less obvious to me here on dims but but I've been shown once or twice the kind of lechy, objectifying stuff that gets written in PMs by some FAs.

I'm not sure if the problem is bad enough to warrant action but could this kind of drive-by objectification be avoided by removing PM rights from new posters until they have 50 posts or something like that?


Ok...I need to step in here and say that there is objectification....and OBJECTIFICATION...
Cripes....we ALL objectify, and it can even be hot.

This isn't the issue...its more subtle than that, and we have a few people here (including myself....and excluding James...who is, I admit, a total favorite of mine, and think him very clever and smart and kind....shhhh...he doesnt know..)...wielding blunt instruments to make a point when surgical tools are needed. A lot of the feelings that create the uncomfortableness here are subtle ones...hard to express..

Meanwhile

Guess..what? I GET to think that the fatty frotterism is oddly depressing and strange and not for me. And.... I think...I get to even say it out loud. In my original post I said I will never understand the act.....as a pleasurable one. I never said that all people who like it are freaks.

No matter what ANYone says in their post..no matter how many times everyone inserts caveats stating that HEY...they don't think ALL___________ are __________, someone will always come back and say "HEY!! How dare you say all are ___________ and that I am ___________!!" You suck for thinking that way!

Can't win.

Strong language causes strong reactions here, I realize...but what the fuck......

I am also noticing a pattern.. that male posters in this thread and others who used much blunter language than I, whilst in many ways are agreeing with my post, are often not challenged...but many women are called to task for expressing anything other than "everything is good and right and goes...and anything you like is lovely...and yay for you...and anyone who thinks otherwize is a hata"....this is NOT expressed to imply sexism...I just think that the guys get a pass a lot of the times I sure wish I enjoyed.

Sigh.

There are so many things you can't say here.....and so much OUTRAGEOUS stuff you can..I feel like I am walking in a minefield sometimes.
 

JMNYC

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Of course, we are weirdos.

But I also, just today, bought a 1911 78 RPM recording of John McCormack singing "Macushla" on Ebay.

Some might say that's even weirder!
 

RedVelvet

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Of course, we are weirdos.

But I also, just today, bought a 1911 78 RPM recording of John McCormack singing "Macushla" on Ebay.

Some might say that's even weirder!
You win!

.........of course....this also makes you rather cool.
 

CTAnonymousCT

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My ex wife is a bbw who hated the fact that she was fat. ( She recently had WLS ) She thinks I am the weirdest guy in the world ( I am ) because I only like bbw's. She has gone on to inform me, that I only like bbw's because they have insecurity issues. ( LOL I told her you gotta meet AnnMarie and Heather and My Sunchips if you think THATS true!). Many people are going to believe what ever they have chosen to, regardless of whatever they are told.

I will say that I am not into some of the more "fetish" things some FA's are into. I am not into being squished, nor do I enjoy to her fat more than I enjoy her boobs or other parts. BUT I am not attracted at all to skinny women in general, I like a fat girl, bbw, phat girl, thick, plump whatever you want to call her..Just something about a woman with soft, voluptious curves that does it for this FA. There are a few exceptions..Halle Barry, Lil Kim ( before all her surgery), Jessica Simpson are 3 "celebs" that I find very hot. Anyhoo,,thats my 2 cents...
 

RedVelvet

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My ex wife is a bbw who hated the fact that she was fat. ( She recently had WLS ) She thinks I am the weirdest guy in the world ( I am ) because I only like bbw's. She has gone on to inform me, that I only like bbw's because they have insecurity issues. ( LOL I told her you gotta meet AnnMarie and Heather and My Sunchips if you think THATS true!). Many people are going to believe what ever they have chosen to, regardless of whatever they are told.

I will say that I am not into some of the more "fetish" things some FA's are into. I am not into being squished, nor do I enjoy to her fat more than I enjoy her boobs or other parts. BUT I am not attracted at all to skinny women in general, I like a fat girl, bbw, phat girl, thick, plump whatever you want to call her..Just something about a woman with soft, voluptious curves that does it for this FA. There are a few exceptions..Halle Barry, Lil Kim ( before all her surgery), Jessica Simpson are 3 "celebs" that I find very hot. Anyhoo,,thats my 2 cents...

I like your two cents. See...you come across as every sweet, nice, FA I have ever known in the real world. Un-hung up and cool. Yay, you.
 

CTAnonymousCT

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I like your two cents. See...you come across as every sweet, nice, FA I have ever known in the real world. Un-hung up and cool. Yay, you.
Thanks for the compliment, though I am not too sure about the sweet part..I been called ALOT of things, but sweet aint usually one of em! :bow::bow:
 

Spanky

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Holy Shit!....I have a stamp!


Since when?

and....I am going to kill you.

(right after I steal this..)

cuz really....my fecking opinion is SO important.

:rolleyes:
It is all yours! a la Spanky. :bow:

I like that it looks all lipsticky. You seem like you might be a lipsticky kinda gal! ;)

Oh.. and it is red too. That's fecking important too.
 

moniquessbbw

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I totally agree. There are some wonderful, intelligent, kind FA's out there, however, they seem to be the minority. Or at least, as Lilly mentioned, they aren't as prominent.

Sadly, the article you quoted seems to describe almost every FA I ever knew. Most of the FA's that I have encountered make me feel used (for the belly, the boobs, the arm fat or whatever it is they are into) and not at all that they genuinely want to know me as a person. They feel that because they admire my body and "treat me like a Goddess" (code word for oral sex, I guess?) meant that I should be OK with them grabbing my fat and shaking it or using the back of my knee as a vagina. Ummmm yeah..NO.

No idea if any of this makes any sense (what else is new??), but..anyway, I don't think that just being an FA makes someone a freak, but there are definitely FA freaks out there-lots of them.
I have yet to meet a normal FA as well. I have also felt used in the past for my fat. It is hard to meet someone who likes you for who you are as a person and not how far down your belly hangs.
 

RedVelvet

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It is all yours! a la Spanky. :bow:

I like that it looks all lipsticky. You seem like you might be a lipsticky kinda gal! ;)

Oh.. and it is red too. That's fecking important too.


Wow...Spanks, Red, and Lipstick?

How DO you know me so well?

(delighted squeal)..


Scuza da hijacking....
 

Green Eyed Fairy

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It depends on how you look at it. Every time you masturbate to porn, you're objectifying someone. I admit I do that. Out of sexual attraction, that's granted. Not something you do outside. It's for my own pleasure, and in moderation.
The people in the porn have agreed to be objectified. You can't compare normal relationships or women in general that you have never met before to porn.



**Not saying that YOU did that Dr Breen....just saying the people shouldn't relate porn to reality because it's not
 
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