BHM/FFA Confessions/Complaints/Thoughts/Secrets

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Fatgator

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Isn't that the point of the thread though? To reveal the secrets you have, whether you feel comfortable spilling them or not.
 

Molly

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Alright, its big for me, but obvious to this community.

#1 I love fat guys, I can't help turning to get a second look. My husband has no idea that I come here to talk about this and I intend to keep it that way. I would be embarrassed to admit everything I share here with him for fear that he will think I am a weird creep, even though he loves me and knows that I prefer big men. He is a firm believer that everything on the internet is PUBLIC and therefore should not be guarded, he thinks I am silly and secretive.

#2 I would share my sketchbook with NOBODY, but I share my art with the WORLD via internet. I don't share my sketchbook with my husband because it is full of drawings of fat guys, fantasy and scribbles of writings.

#3 I am ashamed to not be more honest with him, but I am beyond embarrassed to discuss this with him.

and last, but not least...

#4 I worry that if I die tomorrow, my family will go through my sketchbooks and find out what a strange young woman I really am. What would they think?
 

Fatgator

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Molly...first I must commend you for admitting what you have. That takes a lot of courage.

Next, if you're worried about what your family would think about your sketchbooks if you died, why don't you write a letter to them in the sketchbook? Explain to them the kind of woman you are, your desires, and even this website or something. I am sure they won't think you're strange, and will still love you no matter what.
 

Dr. P Marshall

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#4 I worry that if I die tomorrow, my family will go through my sketchbooks and find out what a strange young woman I really am. What would they think?
I'm a writer and I have lots of files and notebooks that I would never want anyone else to see. This is definitely a fear of mine too.
 

Melian

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I'm a writer and I have lots of files and notebooks that I would never want anyone else to see. This is definitely a fear of mine too.
Wow, thirded on that one.

I would die a second death if family members found some of my documents. Now that I think about it, maybe I should do a regular house-cleaning, of sorts.
 

orinoco

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doesn't everyone have incriminating documents on their computer? i have all sorts of notes, stories, pictures and vids that i wouldn't want getting into the wrong hands so i keep them on a memory stick around my neck with all sorts of password protectiony stuff on it :D
 

Molly

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Molly...first I must commend you for admitting what you have. That takes a lot of courage.

Next, if you're worried about what your family would think about your sketchbooks if you died, why don't you write a letter to them in the sketchbook? Explain to them the kind of woman you are, your desires, and even this website or something. I am sure they won't think you're strange, and will still love you no matter what.
Actually, I have put some disclaimers in a few of my sketchbooks... but the cover is usually riddled with "touch and die" sentiments. I am not organized enough with my drawings (I tend to go through loose-leaf phases where I only draw on loose paper) So my stuff is sometimes all over the place. A couple weeks ago I demolished a good handful of old sketchbooks so I feel a bit better.

I don't keep any of my VERY personal art on our computer, I only upload, and then delete. I do have public friendly art that I am pretty happy with, but I never mix the two. I wouldn't put any of my BHM stuff on deviantart, for example... too many friends and relatives see that stuff. Actually, I was going to do a very tasteful BHM piece and display it with my other stuff, just to be daring... as a first step to revealing a bit more about myself.

I'm glad I am not the only one who worries about this stuff...
 

BLUEeyedBanshee

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IC I have writings too that I know folks would wonder about me.

IC that I am now a published dirty poet...well I got paid for the poem, but it isn't published until April.

I'm thinking about starting a dirty poetry website/podcast.
 

HDANGEL15

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IC that i have a wicked huge crush on this personal trainer at my gym..he is only 5'6 and 240 SOLID AS HELL..except for this sexy little belly he has..since he is not competing right now:smitten:
 

Laina

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doesn't everyone have incriminating documents on their computer? i have all sorts of notes, stories, pictures and vids that i wouldn't want getting into the wrong hands so i keep them on a memory stick around my neck with all sorts of password protectiony stuff on it :D
Now I feel left out. I'm boring. So boring that my parents were worried about me as a teenager. I actually hid a file on their computer and labeled it "P.RN", but it was only my taxes from the previous year. :(

All of MY incriminating pictures are scattered throughout my lame social-networking profiles. HAH!
 

BigFusionNYC

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I've been reading the posts and finding a lot of well thought out, personal thoughts from everyone, and hope whoever has a problem can find answers for them or at the very least consolation from the other folks in here.

As for me my thoughts on being a BHM is basically that I have been with women in the past, who were FFA's and were 'fat-tolerant' (for lack of a better term). I have had good relationships with women that were into me for me, and women that were into me for me AND thought it was hot that I was fat.

Right now I'm 28 years old and I'm really not looking for a woman to sleep with once or twice and that's that. I'd like to find something meaningful with potential to run for a length of time. You know like actually get married and have a life and future together. But right now I'm torn. My options are extremely low in the hopes to find an FFA that really likes me and the weight is a bonus, or to find a woman that likes me for me and isn't hung up that I'm overweight. I've had plenty of women be interested in me but couldn't get past the fact that I was so heavy. So nothing ever blossomed with those women. My friends and people on here say "oh it's their loss you're a good guy, weight shouldn't be an issue" but the cold hard fact is simply that Weight IS an issue. So even though I am healthy, and love being a fat guy, have no real desire to diet and lose weight, and am very comfortable with myself and confident as a human being, it's troubling that all my good qualities are overlooked because of the high number that appears when I step on a scale.....
 

babette

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#1 & 3 = Me. :p

Yeah, I did that exact same thing when I was little. I stuffed my shirts with pillows and did the whole flip book thing.
In every single picture I drew as a child, I drew myself as a stick figure and everyone else was drawn as a circle.
And I've always checked out bellybuilders despite the fact that it's gay oriented, cuz damn, the eye candy on that site rules.


i did that too, stuffed my shirts and look myself in the mirror for a long time, drew pictures of fat people both man and woman. and wrote stories
 

Roy C.

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I always take a quick look at other big guys bellies, a get a little jealous of those that have a bit of size on me. I too was a pillow stuffer as a kid. One of my first memories of excitement was watching a cartoon that had a mouse drinking a solution that made it grow to scare the cat, then the cat drank some, and they both drank more and more. The exciting part was that they seemed to get fatter and fatter....
 

jchild

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I confess that I am attracted by a girl that can pick me up and man handle me, haha it's only happened once she was about 5'10" maybe 150 lbs and I am 6'0" near 400 lbs. :D

Of course I like anything that tosses me like a rag doll, usually takes about an 8 foot wave to crest on my chest to toss me head over heels, too much fun!
 

TheMildlyStrangeone

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I confess that i've always wanted to be with an older woman. Perhaps only 10 all the way up to 20 years older. The biggest age difference between me and another girl i've been with was 2 years.
 
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