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DragonFly

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I watched This is Us.... binge watched it actually. I am totally floored that the boyfriend was wearing a fat suit. He did it well, that is for sure. I am very dissapointed in the interview that he did stating that the fat suit allowed for the story to change and show him at a different weight. Yeah.. losing weight is oh so easy that we just drop hundreds of pounds and the gain hundreds of pounds at a whim. I think him in a fat suit is like using able bodied actors to play the differently abled, or back in the day when only white actors were used to play a variety of ethnicies.

I had one Aunt tell me that watching that show really helped her undstand me a whole lot better. I am still confused about that one. The parents on that show and the siblings are all very supportive of the fat girl. The dad protected her when the other kids made fun of her..... yeah.. no that did not happen to me. I didn't correct her, not my place, most people just don't get it. I love that the character is there but damn, she has not gone through what a lot of us have gone through.
 

waldo

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Tess had a great shot at being a plus size/size acceptance icon. Unfortunately she has made some mistakes that have removed her from that chance. From not sending out paid for "eff your beauty standards" t-shirts which cost $40 and not actually giving to charity or eventually barely giving to charity, to racist comments.
As time has gone on, Tess Holiday has become quite a loathsome person with a very militant intersectionalist feminist bent.

She recently tore into some bloke who made a viral post on Instagram about how happy he was with his moderately plus size wife and encouraging men who like bigger women and the women themselves to seek out one another. She slapped him down as 'patting himself on the back' for admitting to being attracted to fat chicks. This is the kind of garbage that has continually derailed acceptance of FAs in society. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I guess we just need to all go around telling everyone we love and are attracted to our wife/girlfriend only for her great personality.

Link to article:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4765828/Tess-Holliday-blasts-man-wrote-curvy-wife.html
 

loopytheone

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As time has gone on, Tess Holiday has become quite a loathsome person with a very militant intersectionalist feminist bent.
Yeah, unfortunately, she is completely vile. Honestly, with all the crap she has pulled and things she has said and done, it makes me sick to see articles about her.

It's a shame because a big, pretty woman getting lots of media attention could have been very good for the fat acceptance movement.
 

fuelingfire

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As time has gone on, Tess Holiday has become quite a loathsome person with a very militant intersectionalist feminist bent.

She recently tore into some bloke who made a viral post on Instagram about how happy he was with his moderately plus size wife and encouraging men who like bigger women and the women themselves to seek out one another. She slapped him down as 'patting himself on the back' for admitting to being attracted to fat chicks. This is the kind of garbage that has continually derailed acceptance of FAs in society. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I guess we just need to all go around telling everyone we love and are attracted to our wife/girlfriend only for her great personality.

Link to article:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4765828/Tess-Holliday-blasts-man-wrote-curvy-wife.html
I didn't read what Tess said there. But I did read previously what that guy said. His wife is not plus size! That is a normal size. I understand what he means. But at once you see what size she is, it's almost passive-aggressive. I am a bit appalled by the attention his post is receiving as many news outlets are covering it.
 

fuelingfire

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Yeah, unfortunately, she is completely vile. Honestly, with all the crap she has pulled and things she has said and done, it makes me sick to see articles about her.

It's a shame because a big, pretty woman getting lots of media attention could have been very good for the fat acceptance movement.
I 100% agree! I follow a lot of fat acceptance/size acceptance, and anything related on social media. She is mentioned far more than anyone else, which is annoying. After her probably Ashley Graham who is just barely plus size.
 

agouderia

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I 100% agree! I follow a lot of fat acceptance/size acceptance, and anything related on social media. She is mentioned far more than anyone else, which is annoying. After her probably Ashley Graham who is just barely plus size.
In the real media world, Ashley Graham by now actually has minimum 15 times the coverage and exposure than Tess Holiday does.
Apart from app. 8 general media campaigns, Tess was mainly a fetish model (also for tatoos by the way) - and not so much a mainstream model.
And her behavior killed the little regular work there was for her.

Ashley Graham belongs in a different box. She one of the faces of the body positivity movement, promoting a broader size range and less body shaming for and from women.
That is actually what has replaced fat acceptance in public awareness.
 

fuelingfire

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In the real media world, Ashley Graham by now actually has minimum 15 times the coverage and exposure than Tess Holiday does.
Apart from app. 8 general media campaigns, Tess was mainly a fetish model (also for tatoos by the way) - and not so much a mainstream model.
And her behavior killed the little regular work there was for her.

Ashley Graham belongs in a different box. She one of the faces of the body positivity movement, promoting a broader size range and less body shaming for and from women.
That is actually what has replaced fat acceptance in public awareness.
I fully agree with that. I actually didn't know Tess was a fetish model. I thought I read at one point, and could be wrong, that right after Tess was signed to an actual agency she was kicked out due to some sort of controversy almost instantly.

With Graham it seems odd to refer to her as plus size. when she seems more like the average woman size.
 

waldo

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I didn't read what Tess said there. But I did read previously what that guy said. His wife is not plus size! That is a normal size. I understand what he means. But at once you see what size she is, it's almost passive-aggressive. I am a bit appalled by the attention his post is receiving as many news outlets are covering it.
Yeah IF the size of his wife (maybe about size 12) is the extent of his attraction to 'curvier' women, then he barely registers as an FA. However consider that he posts about how:
"As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as "chubby" or even "fat"."

So that part in itself I see as a tiny step in the right direction when more men will discuss this issue publicly.

My sneaking suspicion is that his attraction may go towards larger girls, but he is 'settling' for one that can almost 'pass' for thin. On the other hand many of the comments I saw posted online about her were just lumping her in with the 'fatties'. But those are just the internet knuckle draggers so not probably to indicative of the average outlook.
 

fuelingfire

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Yeah IF the size of his wife (maybe about size 12) is the extent of his attraction to 'curvier' women, then he barely registers as an FA. However consider that he posts about how:
"As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as "chubby" or even "fat"."

So that part in itself I see as a tiny step in the right direction when more men will discuss this issue publicly.

My sneaking suspicion is that his attraction may go towards larger girls, but he is 'settling' for one that can almost 'pass' for thin. On the other hand many of the comments I saw posted online about her were just lumping her in with the 'fatties'. But those are just the internet knuckle draggers so not probably to indicative of the average outlook.
Even if you suspicion is true, he should still drop the hero tone. FA or not.
 

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She's definitely bigger than Christina, tbh I get that she's not the biggest woman, but based on UK TV average dress sizes she comes across as bigger than she is.

Anyway, enough arguing about whether Nigella is or is not plus size, who do you all like?
Nigella is the whole reason I ever started watching the Food Network. Woke up one Saturday morning and was fliiping through the channels and saw her. That was it! Goodness she has just the right mix of sassy, sexy, bodaciousness, and cooking skills.
 

DragonFly

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Even if you suspicion is true, he should still drop the hero tone. FA or not.
Absolutely agree with that one. I have a hard time tolerating that attitude. Walk a mile in a true FA's shoes before you make comments like that. My guy was a FA through and through, there is a true difference.
 

DragonFly

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Nigella is the whole reason I ever started watching the Food Network. Woke up one Saturday morning and was fliiping through the channels and saw her. That was it! Goodness she has just the right mix of sassy, sexy, bodaciousness, and cooking skills.
We used to talk about Nigella at work often, even the guys that liked dating women that looked like pre-adolescent boys, liked Nigella. She is just damn sexy and it is all attitude.
 

waldo

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Even if you suspicion is true, he should still drop the hero tone. FA or not.
I don't really get this "hero tone" impression from the post that is in question. I saw it more as he was celebrating the fact that he feels liberated from worrying about fitting into a narrowly defined societal box and is encouraging others to do the same. Then again, as I said before, I suspect he may be coloring only slightly outside the lines and minimizing his true desires. Hard to say though.

Absolutely agree with that one. I have a hard time tolerating that attitude. Walk a mile in a true FA's shoes before you make comments like that. My guy was a FA through and through, there is a true difference.
So can you describe your opinion of what it entails to 'walk a mile in a true FA's shoes' ? Does my having been married for over 19 years to a woman who has fluctuated in the size 20-26 range qualify? Not attacking you, just curious.

In the real media world, Ashley Graham by now actually has minimum 15 times the coverage and exposure than Tess Holiday does.
Apart from app. 8 general media campaigns, Tess was mainly a fetish model (also for tatoos by the way) - and not so much a mainstream model.
And her behavior killed the little regular work there was for her.

Ashley Graham belongs in a different box. She one of the faces of the body positivity movement, promoting a broader size range and less body shaming for and from women.
That is actually what has replaced fat acceptance in public awareness.
What do you mean by being a "fetish model"? In the BBW world that would usually involve selling memberships to a pay web site or selling access to video/pictures files. To my knowledge, Tess Holiday/Munster never did that but only 'fashion shoots' of one type or another.
 

fuelingfire

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I don't really get this "hero tone" impression from the post that is in question. I saw it more as he was celebrating the fact that he feels liberated from worrying about fitting into a narrowly defined societal box and is encouraging others to do the same. Then again, as I said before, I suspect he may be coloring only slightly outside the lines and minimizing his true desires. Hard to say though.
He overcame societal pressures by marrying a normal sized woman.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/04/fancying-a-curvy-woman-doesnt-make-you-a-hero-so-stop-acting-like-one-6828475/

http://www.askmen.com/news/entertainment/guy-s-instagram-post-about-loving-his-curvy-wife-backfires.html
 

DragonFly

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So can you describe your opinion of what it entails to 'walk a mile in a true FA's shoes' ? Does my having been married for over 19 years to a woman who has fluctuated in the size 20-26 range qualify? Not attacking you, just curious.
.
No offens taken Waldo. There is a difference between a size 12 person and a fat person. It is in your mind if you are a true FA. To me it is someone who as part of their life parterns with a fat person and goes through the trials that come with that. As a supersized woman, a True FA to me is one that will willing deal with the extra crap that comes along with living a supersized life. No long list of criteria, but dating a curvy gal that is still a "normal" size, doesn't really qualify to me.
 

waldo

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The difference is that he openly admits to preferring a larger (what some people will consider fat) woman over a thin one (and always has). He is expected to say (according to society at large) that he wants a size 6, but he loves his plump wife anyway. The fact that she is actually average for women in our current society is another issue. I don't think the intention was to put himself out as deserving praise but to present himself as exhibit A for the old concept of 'different strokes for different folks'. I don't see why this isn't on the whole a good thing to advance fat acceptance, despite the fact that this guy may barely even qualify for being an FA.

No offens taken Waldo. There is a difference between a size 12 person and a fat person. It is in your mind if you are a true FA. To me it is someone who as part of their life parterns with a fat person and goes through the trials that come with that. As a supersized woman, a True FA to me is one that will willing deal with the extra crap that comes along with living a supersized life. No long list of criteria, but dating a curvy gal that is still a "normal" size, doesn't really qualify to me.
Yeah I see what you are saying. BUT I don't think being with a 'mid-sized' fat woman such as my wife necessarily makes me less of an FA than a man who is married to a SSBBW. This would be like when supersized people dismiss smaller fat people, assuming they haven't had it as bad regarding anti-fat bigotry and therefore have less authority on the issue. I think this is another reason that fat acceptance has always struggled is that we do as much infighting as uniting for a common cause.
 

DragonFly

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I hear what you are saying Waldo. If you read again I said you define your FA -ness I used my Supersize as an example. To get really specific, the fake Hero FA that likes a curvy gal that really doesn't fall into the true Fat spectrum is what annoys me. I can also say that in the Fat community there is just as much issue with judgement about the bigger people. I've expierenced the mindset from many that it is okay to be big but not that big, same type of prejudice just within the spectrum of fatties. Just as in life there is so much diversity in the fat community that all of our particular needs/issues don't always align. For example, I see people referring to Dimensions as a size positive space or a body positive space. I don't think that was the initial intention at all. The tag line for Dimensions is where big is beautiful. Body positivity is about self acceptance of your body, size acceptance is a watered down version of an weakly political concept that all sizes are accepted. Neither group meets my needs. Hope that makes sense, I think of it as Someone saying that Jessica Rabbit is their dream girl and since she is curvy that makes them on the cutting edge of activism for the curvy.
 

fuelingfire

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The difference is that he openly admits to preferring a larger (what some people will consider fat) woman over a thin one (and always has). He is expected to say (according to society at large) that he wants a size 6, but he loves his plump wife anyway. The fact that she is actually average for women in our current society is another issue. I don't think the intention was to put himself out as deserving praise but to present himself as exhibit A for the old concept of 'different strokes for different folks'. I don't see why this isn't on the whole a good thing to advance fat acceptance, despite the fact that this guy may barely even qualify for being an FA.



Yeah I see what you are saying. BUT I don't think being with a 'mid-sized' fat woman such as my wife necessarily makes me less of an FA than a man who is married to a SSBBW. This would be like when supersized people dismiss smaller fat people, assuming they haven't had it as bad regarding anti-fat bigotry and therefore have less authority on the issue. I think this is another reason that fat acceptance has always struggled is that we do as much infighting as uniting for a common cause.
I think you are being to optimistic about what he wrote. Though what he write makes it sound like he could be a FA. Then look at the picture of the woman he is describing. The two don't fit. I posted those article, because other people are pointing out what he was saying wasn't really that nice.

I don't think I have ever gone to a comment section to troll, anywhere. These are the comments I would post, feel free to read them in your most sarcastic tones; Wow! You are attracted to normal size women? What's that like? How do you even have sex? Must be tough. He must have low self-esteem. Maybe he is just settling. She must have tricked him somehow. He must have an odd fetish.
 

waldo

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I hear what you are saying Waldo. If you read again I said you define your FA -ness I used my Supersize as an example. To get really specific, the fake Hero FA that likes a curvy gal that really doesn't fall into the true Fat spectrum is what annoys me. I can also say that in the Fat community there is just as much issue with judgement about the bigger people. I've expierenced the mindset from many that it is okay to be big but not that big, same type of prejudice just within the spectrum of fatties. Just as in life there is so much diversity in the fat community that all of our particular needs/issues don't always align. For example, I see people referring to Dimensions as a size positive space or a body positive space. I don't think that was the initial intention at all. The tag line for Dimensions is where big is beautiful. Body positivity is about self acceptance of your body, size acceptance is a watered down version of an weakly political concept that all sizes are accepted. Neither group meets my needs. Hope that makes sense, I think of it as Someone saying that Jessica Rabbit is their dream girl and since she is curvy that makes them on the cutting edge of activism for the curvy.
Yes, thanks for clarifying further. I agree that this whole size acceptance / body positivity thing has not done much of anything to help the serious civil rights issue of fat acceptance. And I agree that there are a lot who will say that being moderately larger than what society considers 'normal' weight should be perfectly acceptable, but don't you dare cross that size 20 or BMI 30 threshold, or it's off to the weight loss surgery with you!

I think you are being to optimistic about what he wrote. Though what he write makes it sound like he could be a FA. Then look at the picture of the woman he is describing. The two don't fit. I posted those article, because other people are pointing out what he was saying wasn't really that nice.

I don't think I have ever gone to a comment section to troll, anywhere. These are the comments I would post, feel free to read them in your most sarcastic tones; Wow! You are attracted to normal size women? What's that like? How do you even have sex? Must be tough. He must have low self-esteem. Maybe he is just settling. She must have tricked him somehow. He must have an odd fetish.
I would peg her at about a size 14, so the two do fit. But I can understand where a much fatter person would look at her and be incredulous at what all the hubbub is about. As far as comments, what you posted fits in with a lot of the stuff I read in comments section on the topic. As an FA who identifies with this guy to an extent, it does not feel good to see people refer to him with nasty names like "hogger" or "beta-simp" or "cuck" and yes the old fetish label. Here I am thinking, if they think that badly of him for being with a moderately heavy woman, what must they think of me when they see me with my size 24 wife. And I am not trying to portray myself as a victim here, but more so I feel bad that we still have so many people (based on the majority of the online comments), who are more against fat acceptance than ever. And it's hard to even argue anymore with most of them harping on endlessly about the increased health risks of being fat.

As far as the attitude represented in the articles you posted (and yes I did read them), I think this is just interpreting the guy's post in the most negative light. I don't think his intention was to present himself as a 'hero' or a 'woke feminist' or anything other than a guy who is happy that he has chosen the path he did and encouraging others to do what they desire regardless of society's expectations.
quote: "Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire.......Girls, don't ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated."
 

loopytheone

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Nigella is the whole reason I ever started watching the Food Network. Woke up one Saturday morning and was fliiping through the channels and saw her. That was it! Goodness she has just the right mix of sassy, sexy, bodaciousness, and cooking skills.
I guess I'm the odd person out then because I find her cringe worthy and can't watch her for more than a few seconds without wanting to turn over.

I would peg her at about a size 14, so the two do fit.
If you are referring to american sizes, not even close. She is a lot, lot smaller than I am and I'm an american size 14. She looks about a size 14 in british sizes which is about a 10 in american ones.
 
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