Over the past couple of years my confidence has developed and grown and I have become quite comfortable with my size...both weight and height and my sexuality. Its been a great journey and an awesome feeling to know I can be sexy and desirable. For the past nine months, I have been seeing an absolutely wonderful man.....he is perfect and I love him so much. We were friends for a long time before we became a couple. He tells me all day, everyday how beautiful I am. And I tell you....its like a drug.
He is not an FA and has never dated a big girl.
So this weekend, we went tubing. While waiting for our group to get together.....up walks this girl. She was gorgeous, no doubt. Perfectly tanned skin, great breasts, long blonde hair....the complete playboy package including a barely there bikini. There are tons of girls out there in bikinis of all shapes and sizes.......but every man noticed this particular girl.
Now I am very open about my guy admiring other women....everyone does it. He has mentioned finding other girls attractive/hot and I've done the same when someone catches my eye. Its a natural thing. Its never bothered me and I have never compared myself to it. He sees this girl and says "Wow....THAT is hot."
And for some reason in that moment.....I felt this little crack in my confidence. Once again, I felt like the 15 year old fat girl who's crush is never going to notice her. I hate that fucking feeling.
We went on with our day and had a great time......he went on telling me how beautiful I am and that inconsequential(to him) statement was long forgotten by him.
But here I am this morning.....telling you guys about it. That little crack letting in old doubts and fears.
Hopefully, telling ya'll will make that old feeling go away......
He is not an FA and has never dated a big girl.So this weekend, we went tubing. While waiting for our group to get together.....up walks this girl. She was gorgeous, no doubt. Perfectly tanned skin, great breasts, long blonde hair....the complete playboy package including a barely there bikini. There are tons of girls out there in bikinis of all shapes and sizes.......but every man noticed this particular girl.
Now I am very open about my guy admiring other women....everyone does it. He has mentioned finding other girls attractive/hot and I've done the same when someone catches my eye. Its a natural thing. Its never bothered me and I have never compared myself to it. He sees this girl and says "Wow....THAT is hot."
And for some reason in that moment.....I felt this little crack in my confidence. Once again, I felt like the 15 year old fat girl who's crush is never going to notice her. I hate that fucking feeling.
We went on with our day and had a great time......he went on telling me how beautiful I am and that inconsequential(to him) statement was long forgotten by him.
But here I am this morning.....telling you guys about it. That little crack letting in old doubts and fears.
Hopefully, telling ya'll will make that old feeling go away......
