- Sep 29, 2005
- The great white north, eh?
MisticalMisty said:There are some women that are stating that they would NEVER date an FA because they don't want someone that will love their fat. There are those saying that they may date an FA but they prefer guys with no preference.
I'm just trying to understand why they wouldn't want to date someone who was totally and completely into them..
Heh, I'm trying to take a break from posting, but it is really hard when there are fascinating threads like this one. I'll at least try to keep it short.
I think it is normal to want your partner to be attracted to those things in you that you find attractive. Likewise, to have your partner turned on by those things about you that you find sensual.
If you like your tummy and want attention paid to it, of course you will want a partner who finds your tummy attractive and sexy.
On the other hand, if you don't like your tummy, and view as this alien parasite attached to your midriff (only slightly exagerating how some people seem to feel), then being with someone who finds it sexy is bound to be uncomfortable. Of course if you really don't find most of your body attractive, it then makes it very hard to be with someone who is really attracted to you. Which is one of the reasons that it is always good to be able to find oneself sexy as is.
I think this mis-match between what we value in ourselves and what our partner values in us is actually one of the most fraught areas in FA/big-folk relationships. Unfortunately it is a lot harder to determine than simply what a person looks like.